18. Chapter Eighteen

Riaz barely refrained from watching as Cortana made her exit, muzzling his wolf who wanted to howl from the hollowness of her absence. The ghosting mating bond he'd detected earlier had started vibrating with need, a desire so visceral he'd all but given in to it in Gwennie's parlor.

He was definitely barking up the wrong tree; the woman had no desire for him.

Sharp, his gaze cut over to where Gadriel wore a knowing smile. "How'd you convince the vampire to go for ice cream?"

The smirk that lightened his features held his secret. "I have my ways, beta."

"Did Gwennie like her?"

Ava's question was soft with affection. His beta's distrust of anyone not pack hadn't made her many friends in the outside world, but Riaz had noticed that hadn't extended to Cortana. The two of them had become thick as thieves, an exasperating pair that only solidified his nicknaming them Trouble Incarnate.

"More than she cared to admit, I think." Riaz grunted a laugh. "I left them alone for two minutes and the poor vampire was scared half to death by the time I returned."

"I can't imagine why." Gadriel winked.

Riaz shook his head, then sobered. "I'm sorry for the other day, Gadriel. My wolf is … possessive over her."

"What's a bit of suffocation between friends?" His wide smile revealed just how little it'd bothered him. "Besides, it'd been my intention to goad you, alpha."

"Perhaps rethink your position next time," came the standard chastisement from Ava, who crossed her arms and sent him a deathly glare. "If he was mating her, his wolf might've killed you out of possessiveness."

A round of chuckles followed what they believed to be humor and nothing more, but when Riaz kept stoically silent, his betas quieted.

"Riaz?"

Blazing orange eyes, full-wolf, met Ava's curious gaze. The truth of it was apparent from his silence, but he owed them to confirm, "Perhaps I'll ask Nova for her tips on mating a vampire."

His betas jaws dropped in unison.

Ava recovered the quickest, leaping the distance between them to wrestle him into a bone-breaking hug. "Riaz, I'm so happy for you! I knew there was something special about her."

Arno clapped him on the back moments later. "Fates, alpha—a mate. That doesn't happen every day."

As Nico and Gadriel approached him and gripped his shoulders, Riaz sighed. "I'm still working on what it means—and Cortana doesn't know yet. She's—I'm not certain she's open to the idea."

Gadriel nodded. "From the minimal time we've spent together, I can see how that might be a problem. But give it time, Riaz. Fortunately, you're both immortal, which means there's absolutely no rush." He blushed, his cheeks becoming the same shade as his hair. "Also—please accept my most humble apologies, oh great one. I didn't mean to rile your wolf that day in the shooting range."

"No harm done, Gad, you can stop groveling before I put you on your rear." Riaz shrugged. "Either way, when we've figured it out, you'll be the first ones to know."

Accepting the deferral, they moved on to lighter topics, their impromptu meeting soothing a piece of his soul. Wolves were pack animals, and spending time among his most trusted always proved beneficial.

Half an hour later, the sneaky vampire made it her goal to approach them entirely without alerting them to her presence. She clearly hadn't realized yet that his wolf would never allow another predator to get the jump on him. Casting the camouflaged vampire a mischievous leer, he asked, "Come out, come out, wherever you are."

"When did you hear me?"

By the looks on his betas' faces, none of them had known she was there, which made him even more arrogant. "When you stomped into the hall by your room."

"Liar."

She rolled her shoulders, muttering something about ridiculous alpha males, but Riaz's attention was suddenly caught elsewhere. He went deathly still, a predatory silence overtaking him.

Deep in the bonds that connected him to his pack, darkness bloomed. And with it, he knew that one of the members of his pack had been compromised. Instantly, his wolf leapt to the forefront, assuming control as he dived into the pack's bonds to uncover who'd succumbed to rabidity.

Around him, he was vaguely aware that his betas—and Cortana—had frozen when he did, reacting to his sudden caginess. With each passing moment, frenetic energy pooled in his gut as adrenaline swarmed through him.

There.

On a dime, he shifted, tearing off toward the boundary of his territory where the other wolf struggled for control. Behind him, he barely heard Ava's plea.

"Cortana, follow him! The rest of us can't keep up!"

As his paws connected with the earth, he sensed her trailing behind him. Riaz was drawn by his ailing pack member, driven to the height of his speed and Cortana was keeping pace. She ran as though the fires of hell licked her heels, darting alongside him as if to deny him any opportunity to send her away.

Deep within, icy tendrils of fear for her fisted around his heart. The vampire who was to be his mate was likely sprinting into a dangerous situation out of determination to provide him backup. The thought of her being injured or killed was a blade against his throat.

Vampires were blessed with speed where wolves had been gifted with strength. Though each species boasted abilities far surpassing those of a human, a similarly aged werewolf would never outpace a vampire, and a vampire would never win a contest of strength against a werewolf. Despite his blistering speed, she'd completely caught up by the time they reached the edges of his territory.

A snarl split the air ahead of him and he slid to a stop.

The grey wolf, lined with reddish brown and white undertones, snapped his frothing teeth at Riaz. Though he held his ground, he hesitated to attack, his need to save the other man from his rabidity nearly overpowering the urge to eliminate the diseased wolf.

And then the rabid wolf noticed Cortana.

Riaz used the split second before the wolf lunged for her to leap. Before feral teeth could sink into Cortana's flesh, he'd barreled into the other beast, using his full weight to pin him to the ground. Dominance would be of no use here.

As they met in a flash of fang and claw, he realized the rogue wolf was bleeding from a gunshot wound in his hind leg. A trail of crimson bled down to mix with the dirt below. Though Riaz was the stronger fighter, he was held back by his desire to do only minimal harm. The grey's teeth viciously sunk into Riaz's foreleg, leaving him howling in pain. The alpha needed the element of surprise, and the sudden shift from wolf to man would have to suffice.

The moment of hesitation on the part of the grey wolf translated to Riaz's win. His arms coiled around the rabid beast's neck, cinching until the animal couldn't move against his immense strength.

"Stop!" Desperation and anxiety filled his hoarse voice. "Please, don't do this!"

He struggled against the raving creature through the feral snarls leaving a mouth filled with bloodied teeth. Once more, the animal scored his nails down Riaz's flesh, the iron-rich tang lacing the already laden air.

"Please, please Benny."

Another failed lunge toward the vampire made the rabid wolf paddle his paws against the ground, foam flinging in her direction as he fought against Riaz' hold. Benny made his intent clear: he wanted Cortana's blood. Riaz could never allow him to escape his hold, as much as it tore him inside to realize.

He could no longer hold off. The boy he knew was gone.

An audible snap sounded in the clearing. The snarls stopped; Benny's struggle ended.

Lifting his voice to the wind, he howled in rage, defeat, and misery: the lone howl. He poured the pain of the loss into each mournful note, knowing he'd never see Benny's smile again, and that only hours previous, he'd made the decision to deny the younger wolf the protection of the vaccine.

Tonight, he had no assurance his pack would echo back.

He cradled the beloved young member of his pack to his chest, the wolf still in death. The pack didn't know yet what had befallen their brother. Benny's soft reddish fur tickled over his skin, the scent of his own blood saturating the clearing while it gushed from his injuries.

He felt no physical pain, numb with the atrocity he'd just committed. Tears made their way down his cheeks as he reverently lowered the wolf to the forest floor, his hands running over Benny's fur in apology.

"Forgive me," he whispered. "Benny, forgive me."

His mind, aching with the loss, thrust an eerily similar memory into his consciousness.

"Forgive me, mother," he whimpered, clutching her bloodied arm. "Forgive me."

He'd been left to gather his mother's broken body in his arms and return to his family alone. The wolf had left its mark on Riaz's flesh too before leaving, an imprint of his teeth, only deep enough to draw blood. It hadn't torn or mauled him like he did with the woman in his arms. She looked so different from the one who'd given him life and nurtured him through his childhood, a cooling empty vessel that had once been full of love and smiles.

Riaz didn't move when Cortana approached. He shivered in shock, unable to process that Benny was truly gone and incapable of leaving him behind.

Soft, feminine hands cupped his cheek, and he leaned into the contact with a sob. With a start, he realized her faint cries mirrored his own. The woman he'd thought an ice queen echoed his sadness at the loss and called him back from his darkness. The tenderness of her touch was something he desperately needed as his world shifted, and he used it to anchor himself. They sat alone together, with Riaz drawing strength from her, until the whimpering cries of his betas drew near.

The faint sounds of Ava's paws reached his ears, her wolf breaking into the clearing first, followed swiftly by Gadriel. The majority of his people would stay away until he or his betas deemed it safe. Two wet noses sought out his face, a mourning whine from Ava while Gadriel shifted.

"Alpha."

There was such pain in the single word, and Riaz felt it to the core. Reverently, he placed his hands on Benny's limp form in apology, trying in vain to stem the guilt radiating from him. As seconds stretched to minutes, he reached out to gently grip Gadriel's shoulder and brush his fingers through Ava's coat as she leaned against him, offering them what support he could. Through it all, Cortana never left his side, her presence and light touch keeping him grounded.

When his duty toward the pack could be put off no longer, he gently raised Benny into his arms. He propelled himself to his feet and wiped his face clean of despair. He owed it to his wolves to see them through the trying path ahead.

"Gadriel, Ava, we're returning to the den. We will give him the honor of a funeral."

Gadriel, reading between the lines, shifted to his red wolf. Both animals looked at him through sorrowful eyes, waiting for his lead.

As the adrenaline of the fight receded, pain bloomed. Only then did he realize how much blood he'd lost, the weakness translating to his limbs. Every gouge, bite, and laceration seemed to leech strength from him, compounding the unrelenting ache of his heart.

Riaz moved slowly, letting his body adjust to the weight of the wolf in his arms while combating the agony that tore through his flesh. Fresh blood rained anew as his wounds shifted, coating his skin once more.

But he was the alpha, and Benny's death was his burden to carry.

Though each step brought greater and greater physical pain, the grief that circled his mind eclipsed all. By the time they reached the den, Riaz had reached his breaking point—something he showed no one.

Each whimper from his packmates, every cry, ripped open the bleeding ache that was his soul. They needed his touch, his strength, to reinforce their balance. It was his shoulders that needed to bear the brunt of their torment. As their alpha, it was his privilege and compulsion to meet their needs. Benny was a son of the pack, had been ever since his family had lost their lives, and everyone felt the loss keenly as if they'd lost a child of their own flesh.

Midnight black faded to morning grey. The den healers carefully extracted the pup from his arms to prepare him for the funeral pyre during the following moon, but when they went to heal him, his deep growl stalled them in their tracks.

No one would take his pain from him.