16. Chapter Sixteen

Cortana's blush nearly did him in. The slight pinking on her cheeks before she dropped her gaze in shyness had his wolf howling. Saving her the embarrassment of throwing it away, Riaz grabbed what was left of the cone from in front of her and made quick work of it.

"Problem solved, Draculette."

The genuine smile that spread her lips wasn't aimed at him, though, it was aimed at his elderly packmate. "Thank you, Gwennie. The flavor, by all accounts, was lovely."

"I bet it was. Now off you pop, you two. I've gotta close up before Claude calls and wonders where I am."

"You need any help?"

Riaz was happy to stick around to assist. Taking the hand he offered, Gwennie rose and patted him lovingly on the shoulder.

"No, alpha, I've taken up too much of your time already. And with organizing, no less. Your tail might fall off if I ask any more of you. Go on, now, before the Pupcups melt off."

With a kiss to her cheek, they were on their way. Two minutes later, Cortana had nestled in behind him on the bike, her toned arms hugging his waist. The bike roared to life, taking them back toward pack lands and into the night.

"Gwennie is pack?"

"She was born seventy some odd years ago to two members of my pack," he confirmed. "But she chose to remain mortal instead of becoming wolf."

"That must have been difficult."

"It is." Admitting it wasn't nearly as difficult as living it. "But it's also a blessing. Gwen has lived a full life, enjoying the merits of mortality and savoring life in the way most wolves could never comprehend. Her children and grandchildren walk the earth in far bigger numbers than anything we'd ever see in our immortal lifetimes, and she'd enjoying the simple comfort of aging alongside a man who is her equal in every way."

Cortana was silent for a beat before responding. "You sound envious."

"Do I?" He frowned thoughtfully, his focus turning inward. "Perhaps I am. Once changed, you and I both know there is no road back to mortality."

They fell silent as he drove out of Estes Park and into the mountains just outside city limits. Winding through the snake-like roads, Riaz pondered what she'd said.

Washe envious of mortality?

Unlike Gwennie and his packmates, he'd never been given a choice. Immortality had been thrust upon him without his consent or understanding. Neither the change itself nor the aftermath had been pretty.

He'd struggled with the loss of his human life and the sudden influx of another entity within him. His wolf had urges and desires that often mirrored his but were far more instinctual. Occasionally, they had clashed.

It was one of the reasons he led his pack with a more instinctive leadership style. By taking into account the wilder sides of their nature, they could harmonize instead of humanize. Wolves didn't want a bulleted list of reasons not to go rogue; they required strong, supportive leadership that'd address their needs when they arose. Pack life wasn't just about the whole—it was about the individual, too.

Despite killing the rogue earlier today, his wolf hadn't been fully satisfied. It'd been too long since he'd truly let the creature run without reining him in to keep pace with a partner. Few could match his speed, and though Aidan was one of them, Riaz's alpha was seldom available these days for a sprint through the woods.

The true reason was that his wolf was intent on one thing and one thing alone: his mate. He growled in frustration.

Cortana would not readily accept him as her mate; she'd made that perfectly clear. Despite his wolf's yearning to take her as a mate, Riaz didn't want to risk her outright rejection. Knowing she had no desire to be beside him would slowly drive him into darkness. He'd dreamed of it, trusting someone to love him so much that he could lay himself raw at her feet, all his secrets exposed, and still find acceptance from them. Riaz would never take the chance of losing that dream forever.

"You're quiet." Cortana's words startled him back to the present. "Are you thinking about your family? Before you become a werewolf?"

"My family?"

"Gwennie mentioned something about your family. Did something happen to them?" Her voice was soft, cautious even, but it didn't stop his heart from falling out of his chest. "Or did they hurt you?"

Old wounds reopened, their leaking scabs stealing his breath and making his wolf snarl. Even after all this time, the pain from their rejection was still as sharp as the day they'd inflicted it. But he'd never admit to it.

"Nothing to knot your braid over, Pet."

His forced casual tone sounded flat even to his own ears. Fists curling around the handlebars of the bike, Riaz edged the engine toward great speeds, hurtling around curves at a rate he knew Cortana wouldn't appreciate.

Though she didn't say anything else, he knew that she was holding her tongue, both on his sudden recklessness and the unanswered question. When they reached the underground parking garage and she dismounted, he felt instantly bereft.

"Alpha!" Gadriel's voice reached them the instant he dismounted, finding the other wolf beaming ear to ear as he jogged up. "The shipment of vaccines has arrived!"

Relief filled him alongside an equal portion of angst. Mentally, he'd been preparing himself for allotting vaccinations for the pack members who'd be on the front lines—and for denying them to those who weren't.

Given the method of procurement, there were limited doses available, and Riaz needed to ensure any soldiers who'd be doing off-site missions or field work would be vaccinated first. Seth, one of the oldest of their kind, had been developing the vaccine for several years now.

In conversations with the other alpha, Riaz had been warned that the vaccine wasn't a cure-all, that some still succumbed to the rabidity that liquid sunlight caused, regardless of their inoculation.

"Have you solidified the list?"

Nodding at Gadriel, Riaz glanced at Cortana. "This is the vaccine that helps against the Citizens' liquid sunlight weapons I told you about. The dose is decently effective, and will hopefully protect those we're taking on the mission to their compound."

"Decently?"

"It varies depending on age, strength, and lineage. Age is a factor, and certain lines are less susceptible."

"How does lineage factor into it?"

"An alpha bites every new person that joins the pack," Riaz explained as they ascended the stairs, "and we can trace our origins back to the founding wolves if need be. Certain lines are more resistant than others."

Cortana then asked a question that he never wanted to answer. "So, the majority of your pack is of your line?"

A whimper stalled in his throat, the darkness within swallowing it whole before it could erupt. "No, Ava bites all new pack members. I choose not to continue my line."

"Why? Who bit you?"

Beside him, Gadriel stiffened, knowing the answer already and not expecting Riaz to answer. But as an alpha, it'd have wounded his pride to cower. The sinking feeling threatened to drown him as he answered her question.

"I don't know."

The hint of a smirk on her full red lips twisted the knife in his gut, her belief that he'd make light of the situation a black mark on his soul. "Oh, come on, do tell. How can you not know the wolf who bit you?"

"I was bitten by a rogue, Cortana."