Chapter 14

and my body and mind were bruised and battered.

***

The next morning I woke with an aching feeling in the pit of my stomach. I reached to my side and touched the cold bed, Jack was gone. I laid still, listening for signs that he will still there, but my heart knew the answer before my brain caught up with it.

After an hour of allowing my mind to pretend that Jack had only gone out for breakfast for us and was coming back, I dragged myself out of bed. The only thing I had to wear was my evening gown from the night before, so I found Jack’s tuxedo shirt from the night before and put it on. It hung to my knees and I stupidly allowed my senses to take in Jack’s smell as I closed my eyes.

I walked through the penthouse, it was all unfamiliar from the night before, 213/408

except the kitchen. I knew there was no note, but I allowed myself to look for one so that I wouldn’t spend the next month beating myself up that there could have been one that I missed. It was almost 11 o’clock on Sunday morning and even I couldn’t convince myself that Jack had ran out for pressing business.

I snooped around for a little bit, amazed at the expanse of the place that he lived. There were three bedrooms and five bathrooms. Why would one man possibly need five bathrooms? The master bath off of his bedroom was larger than my apartment and had a view of Times Square. I remembered that Jack’s friend Tyler had commented that Jack was wealthy, but I couldn’t have comprehended the magnitude of that statement at the time.

I searched in his closet for something to wear, dreading the thought of 214/408

doing the walk of shame through the hotel in my evening gown on a Sunday morning. I decided on his tuxedo shirt and a pair of black compressions shorts to make my escape. Luckily I had packed flip flops in my purse, knowing that it might take me a few blocks to find an available cab in Times Square after my performance.

I didn’t have a problem hailing a cab right in front of the hotel and I even made it out without too many odd looks. Walking around Times Square in a man’s tuxedo shirt and compression shorts, while holding an evening gown, didn’t even raise any eyebrows compared to the really crazy looking people out there.

Chapter 14

My days off were usually Sunday and Monday, so I had two full days for my pity party. I spent the balance of Sunday going over the last 24 hours in my head.

Monday morning I was convinced that Jack was my destiny and I needed to find him, confront him and make him see the light. By Monday evening, I had decided that he was a bipolar sexual deviant and if he ever tried to come near me again, I would get a restraining order. Needless to say, I was confused and distraught and I was left with no choice but to fess up to Sienna and seek counseling.

All it took was one simple text.

Had a bad night Saturday night…saw Jack,slept with him, he disappeared again. She was at my door in less than a half an hour 216/408

with a bottle of tequila, two quarts of Ben and Jerry’s and her guitar.

“Spill babe, and start from the beginning, we have all night.” Sienna grabbed two shot glasses from the kitchen, which were, incidentally, also the house warming gift that she gave me when I moved to New York last month. She plopped herself down on the couch, cracked open the tequila, poured us shots and I started at the beginning.

As I told my tale, I added in bits and pieces about Jack’s relationship with his dad that I had learned on our trip to Hawaii.

By the time I was done, and we had analyzed everything that had transpired, we were both convinced that Jack’s dad had known who I was somehow and was using me in some sort of demented game he was playing.

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There truly was no better friend in life than Sienna. She was pissed at anyone who didn’t adore me, and hated anyone who screwed with me, without question. I found it interesting that my best friend knew more about my relationship with Jack, that transpired over an eight day period, than she did about my relationship with Michael, which lingered over seven years. Why did I share so much about Jack with her, yet I never felt the need to talk about Michael, even after a fight?

I started to wonder why my eight day relationship meant so much more to me than my seven year relationship with the man that I had planned to marry. Had I ever really loved Michael, or was he just my safe place? As I rewound time in my head, I realized that Michael never took my breath away. He never made my heart beat out of my chest so loud that I thought the whole world could hear it. And her certainly never 218/408

made my body quiver uncontrollably with just a kiss. Jack did, and the realization tore my heart out.

Chapter 15

The week went by slowly and each day I walked into the Heston it got harder. The hotel reminded me of Jack and what we had together. What I had lost, again. Luckily, Lyle didn’t find out what had happened backstage after the conference. Or at least he didn’t mention it to me if he had heard. He did, however, tell me that Mr. Heston’s office had called to tell him that I did a great job and that Mr. Heston was very satisfied. I really didn’t care what Mr. Heston thought, but I was grateful his call seemed to make Lyle happy, which meant he left me alone all week.

Friday night the hotel club was extra busy and the band convinced me to stay an extra hour past the end of my normal shift to keep the crowd partying. I was 220/408

drained from the long week without contact from Jack, but agreed to stay anyway. I was becoming good friends with the guys in the band and we seemed to have found our stride together. The drummer, Travis, and I had even had lunch together twice, and when we were working he had established himself as my resident bodyguard.

Travis Toomey didn’t look like a typical hotel club band drummer. He had long dark brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, a goatee, and what could only be described as dark brown almond shaped bedroom eyes. His arms were covered in tat-toos and he was physically enormous. He towered above most people with his six foot six frame and shoulders that spanned the width of two regular-sized men. When I first saw him sitting behind the drums, I remember thinking that he made the full-size drum kit look like he was playing a children’s set.

His handsome face was marred by a deep 221/408

scar going the length from just beneath his eye to his chin. He looked like he just gotten out of jail and had ridden to the bar on his motorcycle to find a woman, club her over the head, and drag her out the back door un-conscious. He looked the epitome of the phrase dark and dangerous.

But the truth of the matter was that Travis rode a bicycle to work and was married to Tom, a man he had been with for more than ten years. He didn’t care what people thought and I was pretty sure he liked people to think that he was a rough and tumble badass. It worked for me because I had seemingly become a magnet for drunk single men who thought I would be sufficiently turned on by their slurring pick-up lines. Travis always kept an eye out for me and would come to my rescue by putting his arm around my shoulder and calling me babe. Every man quietly disappeared with 222/408

his tail between his legs within thirty seconds of Travis’s appearance.

Travis also always walked me outside and waited until I was safely in a cab before leaving. Friday night there were extra crazies out in the city at one in the morning, so I was grateful that Travis was such a good friend. He kissed me gently on the cheek before I folded into the cab and he gave a sour warning to the driver to take good care of

“his woman.”

An hour later I was drifting off to sleep when I was startled back to conscious-ness by a loud banging at my door. It wasn’t a normal knock. Before I even made it three steps from my bed, the person on the other side of the door was pounding my door again furiously. Thoughts ran through my head: there was a fire in my building, or a neighbor was being attacked and needed help.

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I opened the door a crack and left the chain on for safety. I probably should have asked who it was first, but I was reacting to the anxious knocking at the door and wasn’t thinking. My pounding heart stopped dead when I saw Jack standing there, his forehead pressed into the doorjamb, which was holding him up. I wasn’t afraid of him physically, but I didn’t release the chain either.

His beautiful green eyes were bloodshot when they locked on me. “Can I come in?”

I could smell the liquor on his breath as he spoke and his words were slightly slurred. A pause and then, “Please.” I looked into his eyes and saw sad-ness and pain. I nodded my head and released the safety chain. He slowly walked in slowly, never taking his eyes off of me. We 224/408

stood there for a moment, facing each other, just looking and watching each other’s reaction. His hand slowly reached for my hip and I took a step backwards. He flinched at my reaction and balled his hands into tight fists at his sides.

“Is that why you are here? A middle of the night booty call?” I was becoming more and more pissed off each second.

“No.” His voice was defensive, but he dropped his head in shame.

“So why are you here then?” His eyes lifted from the floor to find mine. “I don’t know. I just couldn’t keep away.”

Jack’s words touched me and I let my guard slip slightly. My words were no longer bitter, but I still needed to know 225/408

more. “Why did you leave and not come back last weekend?”

He visibly flinched again at my question. I watched as he thought and his eyes filled with emotion. “Because I’m a fucking horrible man and you deserve better.”

For me, alcohol was my truth serum, and I hoped it was the same for Jack.

“Why are you a horrible man?” He looked tortured and conflicted and I couldn’t bear it any longer. I reached out my hand to him to provide comfort. I saw relief flood his eyes. He took my hand and held it, waiting for me to allow him something more. “I have no idea how to have a relationship.” A long pause. “I hate my father for who he is, but I’m just like him.”

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I couldn’t bear anymore. I needed to take away his pain, even after all the pain he had caused me. I closed the space between us and laid my head to his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist tightly.

His arms wrapped around me, engulfing me into his pain. I listened with my ear at his chest as his racing heartbeat slowed and he clung to me tightly.

We stayed that way for a long time. My emotions were running wild, but I felt more alive than I had that whole week. I pulled back to look at his face, and I could tell he was reluctant to loosen his grip. His face was full of concern. “Would you like to stay and talk in the morning?” Jack didn’t respond with words; instead he pulled me back into his arms and wrapped me inside of his hold even tighter. I brought him to my bedroom and sat him on the edge of the bed. I reached down and 227/408

removed his shoes. He watched me hesitantly, making no move to touch me. He was afraid of overstepping his place for fear I would change my mind.

“Do you want to take off your pants?”

He looked at me and shook his head no, but reached for me as he laid back on the bed. He laid on his back and positioned me with my head on his chest, his arms wrapped around me so tightly I couldn’t move if I wanted to. But I didn’t want to move. I hated to admit it, but there was nowhere else I would have rather been.

***

The next morning, Jack was still sleeping when I woke up. His sleep only slightly loosened his hold on me and I had to pry myself from his arms in order to get up.

He stirred when I snuck out of bed, but 228/408

eventually he settled back into sleep. Nature was calling and I needed an extra large cup of coffee and two aspirin for my pounding headache.

I decided to make bacon and eggs, hoping that Jack would stay for breakfast this time and make good on his promise to talk in the morning. I sang softly to myself, trying not to wake him. I didn’t know how to cook without singing. In fact, there were a lot of things that I found physically im-possible to do without at least quietly humming a tune.

I turned the bacon and caught Jack standing in the doorway out of the corner of my eye. His frame filled the doorway and he rested his arms on the doorjambs as he watched me.

“Good morning.” I spoke quietly; suddenly aware that I was still only wearing 229/408

my old Yankee t-shirt that barely covered my ass. Michael was a diehard Red Sox fan and hated the t-shirt, which was probably why I had made it into my official pajamas most nights since moving to New York.

“Good morning.” His voice was raspy and deep and sexy as hell.

“Hungry?” I smiled at him.

“Starving.” His tone told me we might not be speaking about the same thing.

He made no attempt to move into the kitchen, appearing content in watching me.

“You just going to stand there and watch

me?”

One

eyebrow

arched

questioning.

“I am.” The corner of his mouth turned slightly up, hinting at a smile.

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I shook my head and laughed, turning my attention back to the stove. He didn’t move from his position until I placed our plates on the table.

We sat together at the table and ate our breakfast and it felt so normal and right.

“How did you know where I lived?” So many unanswered questions rattled through my brain.

“Your personnel file.”

My face clearly showed my aston-ishment. “If you own half of the Heston, I guess that does technically make you my employer, doesn’t it?”

“It does.” He made no attempt to hide his lack of feeling guilty for using his position for his personal needs. The hesitant, insecure man from the night before was gone and confident, alpha Jack was back with a vengeance.

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“I take it you didn’t know I was performing at the conference?”

“Definitely not.”

“Why did your father hire me?”

“I have no idea. I’ve got a call into the resort in Honolulu to find out if he made contact with anyone there.” The Hawaii resort had never crossed my mind. But it dawned on me as he answered that we had stayed at one of the hotels he owned, explaining why everyone had known his name.

I stood to clear the

table and Jack grabbed my arm, gently pulling me into his lap.

“I like your t-shirt.” He looked down at me on his lap, my t-shirt rode up over my skimpy underwear. His warm hand cau-tiously moved to my thigh. As always, his touch sent a jolt through my body. I needed 232/408

to separate my body from his or we would never have that talk.

“Yankees fan?” I jumped out of his lap, it was obvious what I was doing and he seemed amused at the reaction that I was having.

“Now I am.” His voice was low and gravely and I felt his eyes burning into my back as I stood with my back to him rinsing the dishes. I took my time, hoping the fire inside me would quell with distance.

Jack knew what I was doing and wasn’t going to allow it. I felt the heat from his body behind me and his breath on my neck. He stood with his front to my back, only inches separating us.

“Can I touch you Syd?” I knew it must have been difficult for him to ask permission, Jack wasn’t the type of man that asked, he took what he wanted.

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My mind was foggy from his close proximity and my answer came out breathless. “Yes.”

His hand brushed over my breast and I had to grip the edge of the counter to keep my weak knees from buckling. The man made me feel like a teenager getting touched for the first time.

Unlike last time, his touch was soft and gentle, but it turned me on no less. He kneaded my tender breasts and circled my nipples. His thumb brushing gently over my stiff peaks. Jack pushed his body firmly against my back and I felt his hardness up against my ass. A moan escaped from deep in my throat and I heard Jack growl.

His lips trailed kisses up and down the back of my neck then he licked his way to my ear. He nibbled my lobe and his hot fast 234/408

breath sent a wave of pleasure from my ear down to my already swollen clit.

One of his hands found its way to my sex and my legs widened shamelessly at his unspoken command. I was aroused and panting as one hand hovered near my clit while the other pinched at my swollen nipples.

“I love how wet you get form me” Jack whispered in my ear as he slid his hand beneath my panties and pushed into me carefully.

I was glad that he was behind me and couldn’t see my face. He couldn’t see that I closed my eyes and allowed myself to surrender to his touch. I knew he liked to watch me come, but he was making it all about me that morning.

My back arched, pushing my ass further into his hard cock and unintentionally 235/408

giving him better access. His finger stroked in and out of me and then he pulled out and pushed back into me with two fingers. I moaned and he responded by plunging into me faster and deeper. My hips made small circles, thrusting into his hand as he finger fucked me with the hands of a man that knew a woman’s body.

I was panting and mindless and my knees began to buckle beneath me. Jack moved his hand at my breast to around my waist, taking a firm grip on me as he felt my body start to surrender to its weight. He was breathing heavy too as he spoke, “I have you baby, give in to it.” His thumb moved to cover my clit and he rubbed in gently but firm circles.

My body tightened and I screamed out as I came while he pushed his fingers in and out of me over and over again in a steady rhythm.

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Jack held me as I came down from my orgasm and then allowed my raised t-shirt to fall back down around me. He kissed the back of my neck lovingly and turned me around to face him, pulling me into a hug with my head pressed against his chest. I loved the feel of him holding me tenderly.

After a few minutes, he pulled back to look at me, “We still need to talk.” His lips pressed to my forehead in a gentle kiss.

“But I didn’t take care of you yet.” My answer was sheepish.

“Feeling you come for me is taking care of me.” Jack pushed a lock of hair behind my air tenderly.

“That’s sweet, but it doesn’t help with that.” I looked down at the bulge in his pants and smiled.

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He

laughed

lightheartedly

and

planted a chaste kiss on my lips. “True, if you still want to take care of me after we talk, then I’ll let you.” He held me tight and I had a sick feeling in my stomach that he knew it might be the last time he held me.

***

I decided to shower before we sat down to talk. I needed to clear my head after our morning interlude in the kitchen. Jack showered after me, while I did a half ass job of blow drying my hair and threw on a little mascara. I watched in the reflection in the mirror as he came out of the bathroom wrapped in only a towel. I didn’t think I would ever get used to how beautiful the man was. Everything about him was just so damn masculine and sexy. His body was worthy of worship and I knew that he worked hard at maintaining it. God just 238/408

didn’t make creatures look like that, shit like that came from a lot of hours in the gym.

I was frozen in the mirror when he dropped the towel and pulled on the jeans from the night before without anything underneath. He still had a full erection and, oddly, I found it endearing that he hadn’t taken care of it in the shower. I was so caught up in feasting on his body with my eyes, that I didn’t notice he was watching me watch him through the mirror. He lifted his arms over his head to put on his shirt and all of the muscles in his shoulders and pecks flexed. “If you keep looking at me like that, we aren’t going to have that talk today.” He pulled the shirt down over his flat stomach, obscuring my view of his sexy as hell happy trail.

Shit. He had caught me when my mouth had been literally hanging open. I was just glad that I wasn’t actually drooling 239/408

when I was caught. His sexy eyes were dark and I was certain he wanted me as bad as I wanted him. But I needed to have a clear head when we spoke and figure out what was going on between us. “Full of yourself aren’t you?”

I watched as he walked up behind me in the mirror and put his hands on my shoulders. His eyes never left mine in the mirror as he leaned down to whisper in my ear. “I’d much rather be filling you baby.” His words sent a shiver down my spine and he knew my body reacted to him.

“Well let’s get this talk over with then, shall we?” I was teasing, but the smile van-ished from his face. He was nervous about our talk and it made me scared of what I was about to hear.

We sat down in the living room. I curled my feet up underneath me on the 240/408

couch and he sat across from me in the chair. “So do I get ten more questions?” I tried to break the tension in the room with a teasing first question. He smiled but the smile didn’t make it up to his eyes.

“What do you know about me and my work Syd?” His voice was serious.

“Well, I know that you own 51% of the Heston Hotel chain, you pointed that out to your father backstage last week.”

“I do. My grandfather started the hotel chain and gave my father 49% when he was old enough to get involved in the business. Then when he died, he left 49% to me and 2% to my mother. We had all expected that my mother’s will would leave both my father and I each 1% when she died, so that we were equal partners, but she didn’t. She left me the 2%, giving me controlling interest in the hotels. I didn’t think she knew about 241/408

my father’s affairs when she was alive, but after her will was read, I realized that she did.”

Wow, there was a lot of screwed up information there, but that didn’t sound like something that would send me running for the hills. “I take it your father wasn’t happy about your having more control of the business then him?”

“My father doesn’t like anyone but him to have any control.” Hmmm…maybe there was more there than I thought. Did he realize that the apple didn’t appear to fall far from the tree on the control issue? “Okay.” I dragged the word out, letting him know that I was waiting for more.

“The hotels aren’t my only business.” He paused and looked into my eyes. “Do you 242/408

remember me telling you that I invested in a business to embarrass my father?” I shook my head, waiting for the rest.

“I own a production company.” Jack ran his fingers through his hair and blew out a deep breath.

“Okay.”

My brows furrowed in

confusion.

“I own the largest porn film production company in the United States, Syd. My other business is making porn.” He watched me intently, waiting for my reaction. My first thought was, okay, that isn’t so bad. But then memories of our past conversations came flooding back and I started to put together the pieces of the puzzle.

He had 500 to 1,000 partners? He is amazing in bed? That women, with the over the top appearance at the conference, he said he 243/408

brought her to piss off his father, was she an actress? I felt the bile in my stomach rise to my throat and it stung as I opened my mouth to speak. “Have you ever been in one of the films?” I held my breath waiting for the answer.

“No.” His response was immediate and unwavering.

“Have you been with any of the actresses?”

“Yes.”

My heart clenched. “Was the woman that you were with last weekend at the conference an actress?”

“Yes.”

“Is she your girlfriend? Were you with her after you got back from Hawaii?” The thought of him being with her after the 244/408

week that we had shared made me sick. The tears filled my eyes and I looked away, fighting back their escape.

“No, I didn’t lie to you. I haven’t had a girlfriend since I was a teenager. And I wasn’t with her after I got back from Hawaii.”

He moved from the chair to sit next to me on the couch and I kept my head turned from him. I wanted to hide my emotions.

He took my face in his hands and gently forced me to look at him. I saw pain in his eyes when the tears started flowing from down my cheeks.

He looked into my eyes as he spoke.

“Syd, I’m not proud of who I am or things that I have done. And I know I don’t deserve you. You’re sweet and good and everything that I’m not. I tried to keep away so you wouldn’t get hurt, but I can’t help myself 245/408

when it comes to you. I never wanted to be with a woman, the way I want to be with you. I want to get lay under the stars with you and talk for hours, and walk in the park holding your hand. You make me feel like I can be a better man when I’m around you.

I’m terrified of the things you make me feel and I don’t know how to control it.” I buried my head in his chest and he wrapped his arms around me while my tears turned into sobs. I wasn’t even sure why I was crying, I was just so wrought with emotions and everything he had shared that I couldn’t help but explode. Jack stroked my head until I slowly calmed in his arms. “You okay baby?” He whispered.

I nodded. “I just need to lay down for a bit, my head is pounding.” Jack pulled off his shirt and laid himself back on the couch, pulling me to his 246/408

warm chest and wrapping me in his arms.

Neither of us was running away, it was a start.

***

I had no idea how long I had slept for, but my headache was gone when I woke up.

And at least I didn’t think I was going to throw up anymore. I looked up and found Jack awake, watching me.

“Hey.” He spoke softly and stroked my hair.

“Did you sleep?” I stretched a bit and then snuggled closer into his chest.

“No.”

“Are you okay?”

He shook his head and gently laughed. “I lay out all my fucked up dirty laundry at your feet and you ask me if I’m 247/408

okay? He emphasized the I’m. “And you wonder why I can’t keep away from you.” He kissed my forehead.

I sat up on the couch on my knees and straddled one leg on each side of him as he laid on his back. “If we are going to try this, there is no mixing business with pleasure for you. In fact, there is no pleasure for you with anyone but me.” I punctuated the sentence with my finger into his chest.

“Deal. But you know I don’t have much experience with relationships, so you need to have patience with me.”

“Patience, yes. Tolerance for cheating, no.” I smiled at him.

Jack moved and before I even knew what he was doing, he had switched our positions. I was on my back and he was kneel-ing on the couch above me, his legs straddled on either side of me.

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“Got it, no cheating. And just so we are clear, you belong to me now, so no one touches your ass but me either.” My heart melted at the thought of belonging to Jack. “Deal.” Jack leaned down, bringing his face close to mine. “Are we done talking for now?”

I nodded, his handsome face so close to mine was a major distraction to my brain.

“Good, because baby, I’ve been in this apartment for almost a day, while your sweet little ass laid on top of me and squirmed with my fingers inside of you. If I don’t bury myself inside of you within the next five minutes, you aren’t going to be able to walk tomorrow.”

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My eyes opened wide at his words, then narrowed and squinted as if to test him to see if he was telling the truth.

His smile was wicked and sexy. “On the couch or in the bedroom babe?” Okay, so he wasn’t kidding. My stomach did a flip and I took a deep breath in and rolled my eyes, pretending it was a sacrifice.

“Bedroom.”

“Good girl.” He scooped me up carried me into the bedroom.

***

For the first time since I moved to New York, I dreaded going to work. Jack and I had come so far in the last twenty-four hours and I hated that I had to leave him already. I wanted to stay in bed and snuggle with him all weekend. But I couldn’t let the band down, and the club would be busy on a 250/408

Saturday night, so I forced myself to get up and get ready. When I walked out dressed for work, Jack was talking on his cell phone.

I watched as he slowly looked me up and down. I had purposely dressed in my favorite red shirt and black form fitting skirt, pair-ing it will five inch stilettos and a dozen long silver chains in all different lengths.

He kept his eyes on me as he spoke in-to his phone, “I don’t give a fuck what it costs, just do it.” He snapped the phone shut and walked to me.

“Is that what you wear to work every night?”

I played dumb. “No, I don’t wear this outfit to work every single night. I wear all different outfits silly.” I placed the palms of my hands against his chest. “Everything okay, you sounded pissed on your call?” 251/408

“Yes, everything is find, it was hotel business.” He wrapped one arm around my waist and tugged me against him hard. “Do you feel that Syd? I just look at you dressed like that and I’m fucking hard again. How am I supposed to watch you go to work, knowing a room full of drunk men will feel the same way about my woman?” Fuck. Me. His jealous streak excited me and now I was going to have to walk around all night with a swell aching between my legs. “I only want one man sweetie.” I reached up on my tippy toes to kiss his mouth softly.

***

Jack had insisted that he drop me at the hotel on his way home. A sleek black Mercedes SUV was parked out front when we got downstairs. I took one look at the car and knew it was Jack’s. “Yours?” I looked at 252/408

him and rolled my eyes in response to his smirk.

Jack navigated us with his hand at the small of my back to the SUV door and the driver jumped out to open it. The uniformed driver nodded to Jack,

“Evening Mr.

Heston.”

We pulled up outside of the hotel and I had expected that Jack was dropping me off and going back to his place, but he told his driver to come back for him in an hour and got out with me. I looked at him quizzically, as he helped me out of the SUV. “I have a few things to take care of here, so I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone.” He took my hand and we made our way through the hotel’s front door.

“Two?” I thought maybe I had missed something, what was the other thing?

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Jack smiled at me, an evil but sexy at hell smile. “Within five minutes of walking through the front lobby holding your hand, the entire staff will be buzzing. It will make you off limits and security will make it their business to keep a closer eye on you.” I stopped dead in my tracks in the middle of the lobby. “So you’re essentially a dog pissing on his territory.” Jack tightened the hand he was holding and pulled me to him, wrapping the other arm firmly around my waist. “Yep. Is that a problem babe?”

I opened my mouth to respond and Jack used it as an opportunity to cover my mouth with his and kiss me. It wasn’t a sweet quick kiss, it was a demanding make your knees week and leave me breathless kiss. His tongue explored my mouth and licked at my lips, stopping to suck in my 254/408

tongue. When he broke the kiss, he kept his face close to mine, and I was lightly panting.

“That should do it baby.” He looked around, apparently satisfied with himself.

I peered to one side of the room, and then the other. Jack was right, we had apparently gotten the attention of everyone in the room “You’re unbelievable.” He kissed me chastely before letting me go. “And don’t you forget it babe.”

***

An hour later, Jack came back to the empty club while I was finishing my set up routine and said goodbye. “Your place or mine tonight?” He said it like there was never any question that we would be spending the night together again that night.

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“Yours, your bathroom is bigger than my apartment.” I smiled.

“I’ll be back at midnight for you.”

“That’s not necessary Jack. I can take a cab to your place.”

He kissed me sweetly on the lips. “I want to.”

I sighed “Okay.”

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Chapter 16

Sunday morning we slept late and it was early afternoon before we got out of bed. Jack ordered room service and a pot of coffee for me. We sat at his dining room table that could sit 14 and I wondered how much entertaining he did that he needed such a big table.

“Do you host a lot of parties?”

“Here? No. The only people that have ever been up here are my boys that you met in Hawaii, and they don’t require a dining room table or hosting.” His statement peaked my interest.

“So, the five hundred or thousand women that you have…. entertained, none of them have been here?” I dragged out the word 258/408

entertained because fucked just didn’t seem appropriate at the dining room table.

I saw Jack’s face growing uncomfortable. “No, there has never been another woman in my bed Syd. You are the first woman I’ve entertained here.” He drew out the word entertained the same as I did, mocking my choice of words.

My inner goddess was delighted with the news that no woman had been in his bed before. But something didn’t make sense. “So where did you entertain the women then?”

Jack’s jaw tensed and I instantly knew I wasn’t going to like the answer. He looked down at his plate. “I keep a room on the 15th floor.”

I almost choked on my coffee.

“You keep a fuck room?” My voice was 259/408

louder and more condescending than I meant it to be.

“I kept a room where I could spend the night, it is a small suite and I keep some of my things down there. It has an office in there too.” His voice was controlled and I could tell he was trying to restrain his emotion and not be defensive.

“Do you have an office here too?” I wasn’t trying to be sarcastic, but it came out that way anyway.

“I told you I wasn’t proud of my past Syd. But we’re together now and you’re in my bed, not in that room, so let’s not do this.” Jack got up from the table and stormed out of the room.

I sat for a few minutes thinking.

Jack was right, I was jealous and acting like a brat. He had been honest with me from the start and never pretended he was anything 260/408

other than who he was. He didn’t deserve my judgment. I cleared the table and went to apologize.

I found him in his exercise room, running full speed with headphones on. He watched me as I walked in, but didn’t slow his pace or take out his headphones. I mouthed the words I’m sorry to him and he nodded his head as he ran. He was dripping from the insane pace that he was running at and his shirt was sticking to his heaving chest, outlining every cut of his gorgeous body. Jack kept running, but caught my eyes wandering around his body. I could tell that my admiration for his body had distracted him, but he appeared content to keep running.

I pulled off his big t-shirt that I was wearing and stood there before him, completely bare. His lust filled eyes roamed all over my body, but still he didn’t break pace.

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Then I slowly kneeled down on my knees, and looked up at him under hooded eyes.

That was it. He pushed stop and was in front of me, within seconds. I pulled down his pants, opened my throat and gave him the best apology I knew how.

***

Sunday night we sat around reading the three different newspapers that Jack had delivered and I was in my glory. It felt so natural and easy and I couldn’t believe that we had only met a month ago. I hated to leave, but we had been together since Friday night and I was nervous it would be too much too fast. Besides, I had no clothes or toiletries with me and I definitely needed my birth control pills.

“I’m going to take a quick shower if you don’t mind, and start to get ready to go.” It felt awkward to say, but I wasn’t sure why.

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“But you don’t have to be in work until tomorrow night?” More of a statement then a question.

“I know, but I don’t have any clothes or things here.”

“What do you need, I’ll send Mateo to get whatever you need.”

“Mateo?”

“My driver. He’s paid to be on call and usually I’m running around. It will give him something to do.”

“I need clothes and underwear, Jack. Is Mateo going to go into my apartment and rummage through my underwear drawer?”

“No. I’d have to break his fingers for touching your underwear. But I can send 263/408

him to Barney’s to pick up some items that Chloe picks out.”

“Chloe?” Did this man have a person to do all of his errands?

“She picks out my clothes. I’ll call her and she can pick out some things for you and Mateo can pick up the bags.” He said it as if it was simple and normal to have people run out and get my underwear.

“That’s sweet Jack, but I’ll just go home. You are probably getting sick of me anyway, I’ve been here all day and night.” Jack froze. “Are you sick of being with me Syd?” For a second, he looked vulnerable.

“No, of course not.” I could see he needed reassurance. “It’s just, I’m afraid of taking things too fast. I know you are new to 264/408

relationships and I don’t want to push you too fast and scare you away.” Jack’s confident face returned as he grabbed his cell phone. “I spent three weeks torturing myself without you babe.

I’m not letting you slip away now that I have you.”

My heart swelled a little more at his affirmation. He pushed a button on his cell and the conversation was over. He kissed my forehead as he walked out of the room talking on his phone. “Nope, not for me today Chloe, I need you to put some things together for my girlfriend.” His girlfriend? I loved the sound of that.

***

Two hours later there was a knock at the door.

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I heard Jack and Mateo talk for a minute, but I was only dressed in one of Jack’s t-shirts, so I didn’t go out to see what Mateo brought, even thought I was curious.

A few minutes later Jack came back to the living room, I was camped out on his area rug, with newspaper sections spread all over the floor. He plopped a few bags down on the couch. “How about we go out to dinner tonight?”

“That sounds great.” I motioned to the half dozen bags on the couch. “It looks like I have something to wear.” I smiled and shook my head.

Jack walked to me and reached down to where I was sitting to kiss me on the forehead. Something about when he kissed me on the forehead made me insides melt.

“As much as I’d really love to make you model all your new clothes for me, I have an hour or two of work that I have to get done. So 266/408

why don’t you go see if you can find something you like and I’ll go to my office to work so that seeing your naked body won’t distract me.”

“Okay.” Damn, he was cute when he was sweet.

“I’ll bring the rest of the bags to the bedroom and make space in the closet for you to keep your things.”

“The rest of the bags?” There were six on the couch, how many bags were delivered? And he was going to make me space in his closet? Holy shit.

“I told her to send over whatever would look sexy on your cute little ass. Apparently she googled you and found pictures of you singing and there is a lot you will look sexy in.” I was momentarily speechless, but it didn’t matter, because Jack wasn’t finished. “And we need to talk about internet 267/408

security, or lack of security. Any crazy man can find out where you live.” Umm…yeah, you did.

***

Jack wasn’t kidding when he said Chole researched me. There were at least two dozen outfits and each one was something that I would have picked out for myself. That is, if I had about $50,000 to go on an insane shopping spree. There were bags and bags of beautiful shirts, pants, shoes, bras, underwear and even lingerie and a robe. Then there were cosmetic and hair products, all of which were in the brands that I used. It was over the top, insane and way too much.

I stopped looking at the tags when I found a box of shoes that were marked $1,600 alone.

I decided to keep my favorite outfit, because I really didn’t have anything to 268/408

wear if I didn’t, and the cosmetics and hair products. The rest was in a huge heap on the bed, and Jack was going to have to have Mateo take them back.

Jack finished in his office and came up behind me as I was getting ready.

“Jack, there are way too many clothes there, I picked one outfit to wear tonight, but the rest need to go back. I appreciate you buying them for me, but it’s way too much.”

“Nope.” He kissed the top of my forehead and lifted his shirt off. “I’m going to take a quick shower.” What? He dismissed everything I said in one little word and wasn’t even going to wait around to discuss it with me? He really was going to need a lot of tutoring on how relationships work. “Jack, don’t ignore what I just said?”

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I looked up at him in the mirror behind me and saw his face looked annoyed.

“I didn’t ignore what you just said. I considered it and responded to it.”

“You considered it an responded to it?” Was he insane?

“Yep. Give me three good reasons why you can’t keep them and I’ll change my mind. I’m not unreasonable.” I felt the heat in my face rise, was he joking? I didn’t even know how to respond to that statement. And god damn it, I was drawing a blank for three good reasons why I couldn’t keep them.

His angry face changed to amused as he watched me in the mirror. “You got nothing, huh?” One eyebrow arched in challenge. “Do they fit?”

“Yes.”

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“Do you like them?”

“Yes, but that’s not the point.”

“So why don’t you tell me what the point is then Syd.”

His rapid fire of questions was pissing me off. “It’s too much Jack. You just don’t go around buying your girlfriend of two days $50,000 of clothes.”

“You don’t?”

I could tell in his voice he was screwing with me and it just made me mad-der. “No, you don’t, it’s too much, too soon.”

“Why?”

God he infuriated me. He infuriated me because I didn’t have an answer…I don’t know why it was too much, too soon, it just was. “It just is Jack.” 271/408

He stepped out of the low hanging sweatpants that he was wearing as he spoke.

“That’s not an answer Syd. You still haven’t given me any good reasons babe.” He was right, I hadn’t given him any reasons, but that didn’t mean that I was keeping the clothes. I gave him my best pissed off look in the mirror and he didn’t flinch.

“Let’s look at this another way Syd. Would it be acceptable for a new boyfriend, who earns say $100,000 a year, to buy his new girlfriend a $500 outfit if he wanted to?”

I thought about it. Michael had earned only a little more than that and I guess I wouldn’t have thought it was too much if he had bought me an outfit costing $500. “I guess not, it would be generous, but I wouldn’t think it was insanity.” Jack 272/408

removed his boxer briefs and stood behind me with his glorious naked body. If I couldn’t come up with an intelligent answer before he was naked, how the hell was I supposed to think with that staring at me in the mirror?

“Then it’s all relative babe. Just add a few zeros to the salary and I should be allowed to add a few zeros to what I spend on my girlfriend’s clothes.” And with that, Jack turned away and walked into the bathroom.

I couldn’t help but watch as every muscle in his fantastic toned ass tightened with each stride.

I thought about what Jack had said while I got dressed and I was glad for a few minutes to think about the conversation without the pressure of Jack’s intense questioning. Was he right, I never dated a man that earned millions of dollars, maybe it was all relative? But it still didn’t sit right with 273/408

me for some reason, even if I couldn’t give him three good reasons why.

Jack came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and lord he was sexy.

The towel hung low and showed off his deep v and that little light line of hair that lead from his belly button down to that place that made my stomach flip flop.

“How did you know what shampoo and conditioner and makeup brands I used?” It seemed like way too much of a coincidence that Chloe happened to select all of my favorite brands.

Jack threw the towel on the bed and walked into his closet stark naked. I was pretty sure I would never get used to how beautiful the man looked without clothes on. “Sienna told Chloe what you used.” His tone was matter of fact as if he was saying something that wouldn’t shock me.

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He stepped out of the closet pulling up the zipper on a pair of dark gray slacks.

“What? How did Sienna talk to Chloe?” I was thoroughly confused.

“I gave Chloe Sienna’s number and she called her.”

“But how did you get Sienna’s number?” I didn’t even think he knew Sienna’s last name.

He pulled on a light blue dress shirt as he spoke. “I told you we were going to talk about internet security Syd. Any lunatic could find out anything he wanted about the two of you with a few keystrokes.”

“I guess he did.” I was exasperated.

We were going to talk about internet security? How about we talk about boundaries and stalking?

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My comment didn’t seem to faze Jack in the slightest; he continued to get ready without missing a beat. “Get dressed babe, we’re going to be late.”

“Late for what?” I seemed to always be a step behind him in our conversations.

“Dinner, we have reservations at 8:30

at Coco LaMer”

Coco LaMer was the it place of the year. I had passed by it a few times on my way to work and once I saw two of the girls from Sex in the City going in for dinner. I heard the reservation wait was two months long, although I never bothered to verify the information because that type of restaurant wasn’t in my budget. I didn’t bother to ask how Jack got reservations, the man clearly got whatever he wanted.

I took my turn in Jack’s walk in closet and dressed in the outfit that I had chosen to 276/408

keep. It was a gold colored strapless dress.

The top was made of a delicate lace that wrapped around me like strips of gauze, winding in different directions. The waist was high and had a large bow on the right side. The bottom was a shredded mess of sparkly gold strips that completely clashed with the delicate top. It looked like a walking piece of art and fit me perfectly. I paired it with the shoes Chloe had picked, five inch stiletto sandals that wrapped around my ankles. I had long lean legs, but the short skirt and high heels made my legs look crazy long.

I knew I looked good and I was glad that I had decided to leave my hair down. I walked out of the closet as Jack was clasping his watch on and his reaction was all that I had hoped for and more.

“Fuck Syd. You look beautiful. Sexy as hell.”

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I twirled to show him the full outfit and smiled at him. “Thank you, the outfit is beautiful. Chloe has incredible taste.” He walked to stand in front of me and took both my hands. “You are going to get me killed, with my temper and the looks you are going to get.” Jack was dead serious and I loved every word.

I rolled my eyes, telling him he was exaggerating and planted a kiss on his mouth.

***

Of course, the matre de at Coco LeMer knew Jack by name. While it was nice to get service as soon as you walked in, the thought of Jack bringing some of his 1,000 other women to the restaurant dulled my spirit. Jack was already getting good at picking up on things that bothered me quickly and whispered “I’ve only ever brought business 278/408

associates here” as we walked to the table. I thought it was sweet that he noticed the little things.

Sienna jumped up as we arrived at our table. “Surprise!”

I hugged her as if I hadn’t seen her in years. I was happy to see her, but confused.

“What are you doing here?” Sienna looked at Jack and smiled. “I threatened to kill him if he hurt you and he invited me to dinner.”

Yep, that sounded about right for Sienna. I hadn’t filled her in on all that had happened since Jack came back a few days ago, the last time I saw her I was a crying mess over him. So much had happened and it felt like months had passed in the last week.

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“I’m sorry Sienna, I should have called you.” I took her hand.

“I’m the one who owes Sienna the apology Syd. I was a complete asshole to you and Sienna was just being a good friend. I wouldn’t have wanted her to react any other way when I called.”

Sienna smiled at me. “We need to celebrate Syd, how about tequila for a change?” We both cracked up.

The food was incredible and Sienna and I were happy to let Jack order for us. A few men stopped by the table during dinner to say hello to Jack and he introduced us each time, calling me his girlfriend. I loved hearing him call me his.

Sienna told me about some potential gigs that she was working on for us and we told Jack stories of the worst gigs we had ever done. The bat mitzvah where I had the 280/408

flu and threw up behind the stage in a bucket in between songs. Only for the little boy who was the guest of honor to trip over a few minutes later and be forced to wear a vomit covered suit the rest of the night. The rave in an abandoned warehouse in Boston that got out of control when a biker that was hitting on me didn’t know when to quit, causing a full blow war between two biker gangs to erupt. I don’t think Sienna noticed Jack’s jaw tighten as she told the story about the biker guy, but I didn’t miss it.

Jack didn’t tell many stories about his past, but I wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t want to share or because Sienna and I monopolized the conversation most of the evening. Either way, the three of us laughed most of the night and I was surprised that three hours had flown by. Sienna and I excused ourselves and went to the ladies room to freshen up. I gave her the seven minute catch up on all that had happened. “Well if I 281/408

didn’t see you guys together tonight, I would probably have been concerned when you got around to telling me you were reunited. But, shit Syd, that man is in love with you.” In love with me, was she crazy?

“That’s the tequila talking Sienna. He is not in love with me. In lust, maybe. But we haven’t known each other long enough to be in love.”

Sienna took my face into her hands.

“Sweetie, time has nothing to do with it. You wasted seven years with that asshole, that’s a whole lot of time. Did you ever feel for Michael what you feel for Jack?” I thought about the question, but didn’t respond. She smiled broadly. “Right, time doesn’t mean shit.” When we got back to the table, Jack was talking with a silver haired man with a young face and neither of them looked 282/408

happy. I could see the tension on Jack’s face that wasn’t there ten minutes earlier. “All okay?” I stood next to Jack and put my hand on his shoulder. Young silver looked at my hand on Jack’s shoulder and then did an obvious slow, learing gaze up and down my body. I watched the whole thing and the look made my stomach turn. Unfortunately, Jack didn’t miss it either. Jack stood and got in young silver’s face, and quietly spoke, but I heard every word.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. And get your fucking eyes off of her before I make it so you can’t fucking see.” Young silver snickered, but didn’t look my way again before scurrying back to where he came from.

Sienna and I sat, but the mood had changed. “Are you okay babe?” I asked Jack tentatively.

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“Yep. Sorry about that. Why don’t we get out of here.”

Mateo was waiting when we walked outside. I was glad that Jack insisted on dropping Sienna at her building since it was late. Jack was polite, but quiet, and I could tell that whatever was discussed between him and young silver was still bothering him. But I decided not to push him on the subject and instead held his hand and sat quietly the rest of the way back to the hotel.

***

Monday afternoon I finally went back home. I was surprised to hear Michael’s voice on my answering machine. His voice was low and full of remorse. He blabbered on about wanting to find out how I was doing and something about finding my grandmother’s necklace. I pressed delete and didn’t bother to call him back. I didn’t 284/408

want to be bitter about all those years I had spent with Michael, but the way it ended had left me feeling that I lived with a man that I never really knew, a man I really didn’t like.

As I got ready for work, I found myself thinking of Jack and what he was doing. He has said that he was going to work after dropping me at my apartment, but what did going to work entail for a man that was in his business? I had come home from Jack’s on a high, feeling good about our new relationship and less than two hours later, I was questioning his intentions after just one message from Michael. It took me seven years to take off the blinders and see who Michael really was, I was afraid of making the same mistake again.

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Chapter 17

The next week flew by and Jack and I were almost inseparable. I spent most of my time at his apartment, when I wasn’t working. After our first week together, he had insisted that Mateo would pick me up after work, and I knew that arguing a cab was just as safe was a losing battle. Each night Mateo was waiting outside when I walked out and he whisked me directly to Jack’s hotel. We had started to settle in a routine where Jack would get up early to exercise and I would find him working in his home office when I crawled out of bed about 11. He always seemed to finish up whatever he was working on when I came into his office, and I wasn’t sure if it was sweet or he didn’t want me to look at what he was working on.

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I was excited when Jack invited me to a business dinner, there was such a big part of him that I didn’t know and I thought that perhaps seeing him at work would quell that tiny little nagging feeling in the back of my head that kept me always searching for signs of a different man than who I was hopelessly starting to fall for.

I dressed for the dinner in a simple cream pencil skirt, rose colored silk blouse and nude sling backs. I decided to pull my normally loose falling blonde hair back into a slick ponytail for a more demure look. I must have achieved the look I was going for, because when Jack saw me, he told me he hard the urge to fuck me hard in between the stacks at the library.

***

Dinner turned out to be with an older gentleman who brought a woman that 289/408

me initially thought was his daughter, which turned out to be his wife. The restaurant was packed with businessmen and a few women, most of which eyed Jack as he passed. I didn’t blame them; Jack was a sight in his navy sports jacket with light tan pants and a simple striped tie. Aside from being devast-atingly handsome, Jack carried himself with such confidence it exuded masculinity from him that made women swoon.

Jack and I maintained a physical connection throughout the meal. We either held hands, or he leaned his leg against mine or rested his arm around the back of my chair.

It made me wonder if he was aware of the women that looked his way, and it was his unspoken way of comforting me, or if he had caught the guy at the table closest to us looking my way, as I had earlier. Either way, I thought it was sweet and his touch on me just seemed so natural.

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It turned out that our dinner guest owned a small chain of hotels in Illinois and Jack had been researching the properties as potential purchases. The Heston hotel chain had two properties in Chicago, but none in the outer cities, which apparently were good investments as the population was growing in the smaller, outlying cities.

Jack

discussed what his engineers had found and while I thought it was all very interesting, I was mildly disappointed that the business dinner was hotel related. I was curious about the other side of Jack’s business and I secretly had hoped that the lunch would give me insight into that part of Jack’s life.

After dinner we headed back to Jack’s penthouse. Traffic was gnarled for a few blocks and, by the time we arrived, I only had twenty minutes to change or I would be late for work.

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Jack and I changed together in his closet, where I had left my outfit for the night.

“Thank you for coming to dinner with me. I hope you weren’t bored too much?”

“No, it was nice, I was glad to come.” I thought for a minute, he had given me an opening and I needed to take it if I was ever going to satisfy my curiosity on the other side of his life. “Although I have to admit, I was a little disappointed it was hotel business. You never mention your other business.” I emphasized the word other, as if he wouldn’t have known what business I was talking about without my doing so.

Jack stood silent for a minute and then came up behind me as I was letting down my hair. “You want to know more about my other business?” 292/408

I felt my face flush and was glad that he was behind me. I don’t know why it embarrassed me to admit that I wanted to know more, but I did. “Yes, I do. You didn’t even want to tell me about that side of your life, so I think it has me curious.” Jack’s arms wrapped around my waist and his face nuzzled in my hair. “Okay then, I’ll bring you to my office with me one day if that will make me feel better.” I felt a flood of relief from a place I didn’t even know was stressed. I turned to face him. “You will?”

Jack kissed me, a sweet, tender kiss on the lips before answering. “Whatever you want is yours babe.”

I smiled and kissed him chastely back with excitement.

“Two conditions, babe.” 293/408

Damn it, I knew that was too easy. I looked up at him expectedly waiting for the other shoe to fall.

“One, you remember it is a business for me and not part of my personal life.” I could do that. “Okay. I can do that.

What’s the other condition?”

“You put your hair back in that ponytail and put back on that naughty librarian outfit when you get home tonight.” My insides melted a little bit, and it had nothing to do with him wanting me to play naughty librarian with him. Jack called me coming to his penthouse, coming home.

It was exactly what it was starting to feel like, although it was the man and not the place that made it feel like home.

I reached up on my tippy toes and gave him a kiss. A long, sultry kiss that said I 294/408

want to fuck you. I sucked in his tongue and nibbled on his lip, but broke the kiss before I was unable to.

Jack leaned his forehead against mine. “Fuck Syd.” He pressed his obvious erection into me. “The librarian is going to get a spanking tonight for leaving me like this.”

I knew it wasn’t nice to do, but I loved leaving him wanting more of me. I felt em-powered by the effect I had on Jack, who seemed so unaffected by everything else in his life.

***

An hour into our performance, I spotted Lyle come into the club. He waited until the end of our first set and then huddled us together whispering as if he were about to let us in on classified government secrets.

“There have been some reports of a rat being 295/408

in the club today. We are closing down two hours early for the exterminators to treat the entire floor.” I immediately started scanning the room to look for the creature and I suddenly had the urge to get back up on the raised stage. Lyle went on that the patrons would be offered free drinks to move to the lobby bar at closing, but that we were free to go early but would be paid for the full night.

Although the thought of a rat in the same room as me made my head spin, the early evening was a welcome surprise, and I had decided to take a cab over to Jack’s to surprise him. But when I went out front to hail a cab, I found Mateo waiting for me. I walked to the car and, as usual, he jumped out to open my door. “Good evening Ms. St.

Claire.”

“Hi Mateo. How did you know I was getting out early?”

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Mateo seemed confused by the question. “Jack called to tell me to pick you up at 10.”

I climbed in the car and sat thinking.

How did Jack know that I was getting out early? I knew he owned the hotel, but did they really bother him with every little thing that went on in the hotel? It seemed odd for a man who owns a chain of hotels to be aware of a club closing a few hours early.

The doors opened to the penthouse and I found Jack standing in the kitchen pouring two glasses of wine. He handed me a glass in exchange for a kiss and I kicked off my shoes as I spoke. “How did Mateo know that I was getting off early tonight?” Jack looked at me with a sheepish, but devilish grin. “You left with some unfinished business.” He sipped from his glass, his eyes watching me intently as he drank.

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It took me a second to connect the dots, but then I gaped at him with my mouth hanging open. “Are you saying what I think you are saying?”

“I don’t know what do you think I’m saying?” He smirked, actually smirked, at me!

“You had them close down the club just to get me home two hours early to have sex with you?”

Jack clanked his wine glass down on the counter and took mine from my hands, as I was about to take a sip. “You have no fucking idea what lengths I would go to to have sex with you.” Then he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder caveman style as he walked to the bedroom.

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299/408

Chapter 18

Almost a week went by before Jack asked me if wanted to come to his other office. I was starting to think that he had forgotten, and a strange part of me almost hoped he had. I wanted to pretend that the other part of him didn’t exist. I was blissfully happy with my Jack, the hot hotelier that I had become inseparable from. The thought of seeing another side to him, one that had the potential to change who he was to me, was physically painful to me.

I was surprised when we pulled up at a nondescript building that I had passed by many times but never actually noticed.

I’m not sure what I had expected, but flashing neon signs with a large triple x, would have fit what my wild imagination had envi-sioned better.

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The lobby was typical office building gray and there was a central desk with a security guard who greeted Jack by name when we entered. I still hadn’t said a word as we entered the elevator and Jack pushed the button for the third floor.

“Is just your office on the third floor or do you share space with other companies?” I was forcing myself to make small talk to keep my heart from pounding out of my chest.

“I own the building, Cole Productions occupies the entire space.” Cole Productions, it sounds so business like, definitely better than Jerkoff Jack’s I suppose. And his business occupies the entire building? If there were no other companies in the building than I would have expected there to be half naked girls making out in the hallway or something.

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We approached a door and I started to panic. My heart raced and I was sure Jack could feel the sweat in my palms. Jack stopped at the door and turned to me. I must have looked as bad as I felt, because I saw the panic written on his face. “Are you okay babe?”

“Yes.” I lied.

“Are you sure you want to do this?

I’ve been sick the last week thinking of bringing you here. You are so good and sweet and everything I’m not and I don’t want to taint you with my disgusting life.” He held my face in his hands and wiped away a stray piece of hair.

I put my hands on his and didn’t expect what came out to come rolling off my tongue. “I don’t want to come, but I have to.

I need to know who you are and this is a big part of you. I can’t let myself fall in love with 303/408

a man who has another side that I’ve never seen.”

“Fuck, babe. That’s what I love about you, pure and honest, no games.” He kissed my lips gently and pulled me close to whisper in my ear. “I’m falling in love with you too babe.”

Holy. Shit. We picked a fine place for a heart to heart.

The door we were

standing in front of abruptly opened and my momentary swell of love in my heart was pierced by a silver bullet as I stared into the face of the woman that Jack had brought to the conference what seemed like a long time ago.

“Jack, baby, it’s about time. We have two live shoots today, a cover to pick and the writers want approval on the final script in the Candy series.” She put her long 304/408

red fingernails on his arm and I immediately wanted to scratch out her eyes.

“Jenna, this is Sydney. Give us about 15 minutes to settle in and I’ll start with the cover.”

Jenna gave me a fake smile and I gave her one back. I’d seen the woman twice and heard her speak once, and I was damn certain that she wanted Jack. Or worse, she had already had him.

Jenna walked off and Jack took my hand and squeezed it tight before leading the way to his office. The walk down the halls to his office gave the first glimpse that the office was anything more than a typical office.

There were framed posters and awards, much of which would have seemed normal in a movie production company, if the people in the posters had clothes on. I tried not to 305/408

gawk as we walked, but I couldn’t help myself.

Jack’s office was nothing like the hall and nothing like I expected. If was big and clean and there were no signs of either porn or his personal life. “Did you clean out your office for my visit, or does it always look so empty and sterile?”

Jack laughed. “Nope, this is how it always is. I take it you expected something different?”

I shook my head embarrassed.

“Like I told you Syd. This started out as nothing more than something to embarrass my father. Then it turned into a profitable business. It’s a business to me.

One I actually like running, unlike the hotels which scream of my father at every turn. I don’t keep pictures on the wall or films all over, because I keep it strictly business in 306/408

here. And you’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted to look at while I was working, so I guess I’ll have to break the sterility and get a framed picture of you for my desk soon.” I rolled my eyes at him, but the thought of him only having a picture of me in his stark office did warm my heart. “So am I going to get a day in the life of Jack Cole Heston view today?”

“We should talk about that before I start the day babe. There are shoots going on here and I usually go check them out. I can go check in and you can hang out in here if that makes you feel more comfortable.” His offer was thoughtful, but I wanted to see it all, the good, the bad, the ugly. “I want the full tour, you don’t need to leave me behind.”

Jack eyed me tentatively and I could tell he was considering his response 307/408

carefully. His eyes caught mine, searching for something. He blew out a deep breath.

“Okay.”

Our first business of the day was script approval. We met with two men and a woman that I came to find out were the writing team for the multi partner movies. I was surprised to find a woman writer and even more surprised at how business like and professional the meeting was. They skipped over the sex scenes and just spoke about the storyline.

I wasn’t a virgin to X rated movies, but I must have watched the wrong ones, because none of the movies that I watched seemed to have had an actual story that was realistic, like the ones we reviewed that day.

After script approval we moved onto covers. We met with a photographer, who showed Jack and I a bunch of glossy photos for a movie called Triple Double, 308/408

which apparently referred to Triplets that starred in movies together that all have double D breasts. The photographer was a nice older man, maybe in his late sixties. It was odd to hear the man talk about his grandchildren, while they looked at glossies of women while holding themselves open with one hand and inserting a vibrator with the other. But the way that they all seemed to work together, it really did seem like a business instead of the wild orgy that I had imagined.

Our last stop of the morning was a visit to the set, to check in on the progress of two movies. I wasn’t nearly as nervous as I was when we first arrived, after seeing how professional things were run. Jack’s assistant came by and took our lunch order and then we headed down to what Jack called

“the hanger”. The hanger was the entire basement of the building that was split into 309/408

two extremely large wide open spaces that were each set up to accommodate many sets.

Jenna met us at the door and I cringed when she put her hand on Jack’s arm as she spoke.

“Set 2 is vanilla, it might be the better one for you to take your friend on her tour.”

God I hated that woman. She needed to get her fucking hands off of Jack and stop speaking about me as if I wasn’t standing right there. I didn’t want to come across as a jealous crazy person, but I couldn’t let her get away with it. “Since we had vanilla at home this morning, why don’t we try Set 1 honey?”

Jack’s eyebrows shot up, then I saw a glimmer of a smirk. He looked proud of my response. Before Jack could respond, 310/408

the door to Set 1 opened and a man walked out.

“Hey, Mr. Cole, I’m glad you made it, we’re just taking a ten minute break while they change into leathers. I have a few chairs set up to the left of my cameras whenever you are ready.”

“Perfect, I actually need five minutes to make a call, so I’ll see you inside in a few Frank.” Jack turned to face me.

“I’m going to run upstairs for a few minutes to make a quick call, we can’t get service down here. You want to come or wait down here babe?”

“Actually I saw a ladies room down the hall, why don’t I meet you back here after your call?”

Jack nodded and planted a quick kiss on my lips before disappearing down the hall.

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I didn’t give any thought to the sound of the door opening in the ladies room. I used the bathroom and exited the stall, to find Jenna leaning with her back against the sinks, waiting for me. I pretended her presence didn’t faze me and stood next to her in silence as I washed my hands, looking at her back in the mirror.

“A word of advice, woman to woman. Don’t get too attached, Jack will get bored of you soon, he always does. He’ll wine you and dine you and take you to his love nest in that fancy hotel of his for a week or two, then he’ll move on to the next plaything.”

I felt bile burning my throat. I had suspected that Jenna wanted something from Jack, I just hadn’t been sure if it was business or personal. Her words confirmed that she wanted more from him than he had given her, but the thought of her being in 312/408

Jack’s love nest room made me physically sick. I had to grip the sides of the sink to hold myself steady. It took everything I had to plaster a smile on my face, but I knew I needed to deliver my message strong.

Ready, aim, fire…“He told me he used to take his concubines to a room on the 13th floor.

I’ve never seen it though, we spend most nights in his penthouse or my apartment.” Score! I watched her vicious smile fade and went in for the kill. “And, by the way, he’s giving his girlfriend a tour, not his friend.” I stressed the word girlfriend to get my point across. Then I dried my hands and held my head high as I walked out of the bathroom leaving the bitch no chance to respond.

Jack was waiting for me outside the set, when I got back. He had become so good at reading me so quickly. “Everything okay?” He looked at me concerned.

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Just as I opened my mouth to respond, Jenna passed without a word and went into the set. “Yes, everything is fine.” I knew I didn’t sound that convincing, because I wasn’t convinced I was fine either.

He eyed Jenna out of the corner of his eye as she passed and then looked back into my eyes, waiting for more, but I didn’t add anything. “We’ll talk about it later.” He knew the conversation wasn’t over, but I was glad he didn’t plan to have it right there and then.

He kissed me on the lips gently.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

***

The scene hadn’t started yet, so we took our seats near the cameramen and I watched the set fascinated by all the activity.

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I heard Jack speak to the guy setting up the cameras next to him, but my brain couldn’t capture the words.

Two men were working on buckling and securing various black leather straps and chains crisscrossing a woman’s naked body. Two makeup artists hurried to apply makeup, one painting bright red lipstick on the brunettes pale face. The other applying some sort of liquid to her ass cheeks that were protruding between leather straps wrapped around each thigh, up the crack of her ass and wrapping around her lower back.

The chains and straps on her front wrapped around her exposed breasts in a similar pattern, and a loose silver chain hung from clamps attached to her nipples. The woman was attractive, but was made more striking by the contrast of the leather to her pale while skin. When the makeup crew was 315/408

done, the men pulled at various chains until they were satisfied they were secure. Two men rolled in a workbench and placed what looked like normal carpenter’s tolls around the table. Then I watched as they secured the tools by hammering them into place on the table.

When they were done with the table, the leather clad woman walked to it and dutifully leaned over it with her hands behind her back. The set guys then secured her wrists with leather cuffs and they were bound together behind her tightly. A heavy chain slowly cranked down from the ceiling that I hadn’t noticed was there before and then they clamped a hook into the back of the chains wrapped around her waist. They spent a few minutes ratcheting the chain until it was pulled taught and the women’s ass was forced slightly in the air, positioning her heart shaped ass to an angle that satisfied the camera man. The last crewmen wrapped 316/408

a thick red silk scarf around the women’s eyes and everyone seemed pleased with the results.

Someone yelled and a handsome man appeared in a bathrobe. A woman brought him a hardhat and he handed her his robe, seemingly undaunted by the fact that he was standing in a room full of people with a massive erection. The director walked over and spoke to the two actors for a few minutes and my eyes were glued to the man gently stroking himself as if it was normal to stroke an erection while having a conversation with a fully clothed man and a blindfolded woman shackled to a table.

Finally the director and cameramen took their places and a woman handed the actor a black leather paddle and it looked as though the scene was about to start.

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Jack had been holding my hand since we entered the room, but he squeezed to get my attention. I looked at him and he silently asked if I was okay and I nodded in response. I was glad that he wasn’t expecting me to speak, because I was pretty sure I couldn’t form words.

Just as I had seen on television hundreds of times before, someone yelled,

“quiet on the set” and a minute later

“action.”

The naked man walked around the table and lowered his face to the blindfolded woman. “What’s the punishment for being disobedient Faith?

“Six paddles Master.”

“That’s right. And you will not cum tonight. If you cum without my permission, the punishment will be much harsher.

Do you understand me Faith?” 318/408

“Yes Master.”

Master slowly circled around to the back of the table and stood behind Faith. He reached out and put both hands on her perfect ass and gently caressed for a minute.

Then he took a step back with the paddle in his hand and pulled his arm back before the black leather paddle connected loudly with her ass. Faith gasped but said nothing. Instantly her right ass cheek reddened. Master moved closer and gently rubbed the right check.

Then he kneeled down and licked the other cheek slowly from top to bottom until her left cheek glistened. I felt a swell between my legs that surprised me.

Master stood again and pulled back his arm and an even louder smack sounded as the paddle connected with her wet cheek. Faith gasped again and then let out a low moan.

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Master rubbed the left cheek and then stepped back again. He positioned his long erection in his hands and stroked up and down firmly a few times. Then he took one step forward and rammed himself straight into Faith without warning. He stayed planted to the hilt for a minute and then slowly circled his hips round and round. Another small moan escaped from Faith’s mouth and Master pulled half way out and then slammed in and out twice more before pulling all the way out.

Jack squeezed my hand I turned my head to find him watching me. For a split second I was embarrassed that I was visibly aroused, but then I heard another loud smack and I forgot everything else existed except for the couple in front of me.

Master continued his punishment with another round of alternating smacks and licks and after the fifth paddle Faith’s ass was bright red and I would have sworn the color 320/408

on her ass matched my face. I was completely turned on and couldn’t tear my gaze away as Master finished the sixth paddle and again positioned himself behind Faith’s ass, ramming into her with one deep long plunge. He slammed in and out of her relentlessly, until he earned a high-pitched squeal, then he abruptly pulled out once more and circled the table in search of faith’s mouth.

I forgot where I was as I watched Faith hungrily swallow her Master’s long hard cock and he punishingly fucked her mouth until he erupted in a ferocious growl and pulled out just in time for us to watch as he emptied himself all over her face and into her hungry wanting mouth. For a moment, I had forgotten that I was watching a live movie being filmed, until someone yelled

“cut” and people quickly scurried onto the set.

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I forced myself out of my daze and looked over at Jack, hoping he hadn’t noticed how transfixed I had become. No such luck. Jack was watching me like a hawk. In fact, I was pretty sure from looking at him that he had been watching me for a while.

At first I couldn’t bring myself to look into Jack’s eyes. The haze of my arousal was lifting and embarrassment was seeping in. But I forced my eyes to his and found his pale green eyes dark with desire. “My office, now.”

Oh geez, what had I done? I had forced him to bring me there and now I had embarrassed myself. Jack said a few curt words to the director and took my hand, leading me out of the set and into the waiting elevator. He stood behind me and tightened his grip on my hand as the doors closed.

“I’ve never seen anything so incredible in my life. ” His voice was low and husky. I felt the 322/408

need to respond, but couldn’t. Luckily the elevator moved fast and the doors opened.

Jack led me to his office in a fury, never letting go of my hand inside. He pulled me around the front of his desk and lifted me so that I was sitting on the edge.

“Watching you get aroused watching them was fucking torture. You are so fucking beautiful and I need to be inside you right this minute.” Jack pushed my skirt up and ripped my panties from my body in one fluid movement.

He freed his massive erection and speared himself into me with such carnal desperation I almost orgasmic before he even began to move. I was soaked with arousal and he growled as he pumped ferociously in and out of me. I knew how he felt, that being inside me was something he desperately needed more than the need for the 323/408

air that we breathe, because I felt the exact same way.

Jack pulled his face back to look at me, never breaking his hasty rhythm. “I need to watch you. Come for me baby.” His words were all I needed, it took less than five minutes for us both to spiral out of control and I felt his thick cum rush inside of me, throwing me deeper and harder into orgasmic bliss.

Jack held me as we fell to the floor together, breathless and panting. I had never cum so hard or fast before and my body twitched as it sought to regain its control.

***

Even though Jack’s penthouse was only a twenty minute drive, I fell asleep in the car on the trip back from the office. The entire day was swirling around in my head 324/408

and I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I woke as Jack picked me up out of the car in the underground garage and carried me to the elevator. Normally I wouldn’t have been comfortable being carried, but Jack made it seem like he was carrying feath-ers and I was too exhausted to argue with him.

Instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck and snuggled into his chest.

The next morning I woke up and found Jack where I normally found him, busy at work in his office. He was on the phone, but didn’t take his eyes off of me as I stood in the doorway. He motioned for me to sit on his lap as he spoke and I dutifully complied.

“Yes, go ahead, I’m fine with that.

See if you can get him down 10, but go with it either way. Listen, I have something important that just fell into my lap that I need to deal with, so call me after it’s done.” 325/408

I smiled innocently and pointed to myself, pretending to be unsure if I was that something important that just fell into his lap.

His eyes never left mine as he nodded. “Whatever, I don’t really care right now. Just deal with it.” He hung up.

I swung one leg over him so that I was straddling him, my feet dangling from the chair. “Good morning.” I swooned coyly.

“Sleep good?” Jack kissed my forehead.

I nodded.

“Good. We should talk about yesterday.” Jack’s business voice was back.

“Okaaay.” I said clearly tentative on the topic.

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“Are you okay with everything?” His voice was softer.

“I think so.” I wasn’t lying, I thought I was, but I hadn’t allowed myself to really process the whole day. I needed time to really think about it all before I knew if I was okay with it all.

“Do you have any questions you want me to answer?”

Probably tons of them, but all except one escaped me that moment. “Did you sleep with Jenna?”

I saw Jack’s jaw tense and I knew the answer before he even spoke. “Yes. But it was a long time ago. It didn’t mean anything. There’s been nobody since I met you.”

“Nobody since you met me in Hawaii, or nobody since we got back 327/408

together?” I was thoroughly surprised by his answer.

His answer was fast. “Nobody since I met you in Hawaii.”

My heart fluttered in my chest at his response. I wanted to end the conversation and forget everything else existed. But I needed to know more. “She still wants you.” A statement, not a question.

“No, we are just friends and she works for me.”

Did he really not see that she wanted him? “She wants you.”

“She’s just protective and has an aggressive personality.” That’s putting it lightly. “What does she do for you?” A loaded question.

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“She’s my sales manager. She sells the films into large chains and manages the sales team.”

His response surprised me, I had thought she was in films by her over the top sultry sex kitten appearance. “Oh.” Jack knew exactly what I was thinking from my response. “She was in films, she retired and works behind the scenes now.”

Retired? She couldn’t be more than thirty. “Retired? So young?”

“She probably did sixty or seventy films. She’s a legend in the business.” I felt my stomach turn. That was more than I needed to know. Immediately I felt insecure and nervous. I knew Jack had been with a lot of women, but I hadn’t let myself think of the level of expertise that the 329/408

women he had been with have had. My only experience before Jack was with Michael, I must have seemed inexperienced and awkward to Jack.

The man truly could read my mind. He gently pushed my hair behind my ear and lifted my chin to force me to look him in the eyes. “No one has ever made me feel like you do Syd. There is no comparison, so get that shit out of your mind. Now.”

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Know what I’m thinking all the time.”

“It’s important to me, so I pay attention.” He wrapped his arms around my waist.

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There was no way to respond to that, so I decided to hug him tight instead.

To show him how important he was to me too.

331/408

Chapter 19

I had really thought I was okay with all that I learned about Jack’s business for a few days. Then I went back to my apartment by myself and had a chance to really think about it. I had fooled myself in-to thinking it wasn’t a big deal and that I could move forward. But it only took a half day away from Jack and another voicemail on my answering machine from Michael for my head to start spinning.

I remembered how turned on I was watching the couple act out their scene at Jack’s office. We had both exploded with such carnal need that we practically ran to find privacy so that we could satisfy our crav-ing. What happens when I am not there? I remembered the way the women all looked at Jack like they wanted to eat him alive, 333/408

especially Jenna. It would be so easy for him to have whatever he wanted, a woman with experience who knew how to satisfy a man.

Being with me hadn’t even been enough for Michael, and he didn’t have porn stars available at his beck and call.

For the first time since I met him, I was glad that Jack was gone on a business trip and wouldn’t be back until tomorrow night. I needed some time to think and clear my head. Being around him just made everything seem so easy and natural, like it was just him and me against the world, and no one else existed. But that wasn’t reality. I had walked around with blinders on for a long time with Michael, and I couldn’t allow myself to be blind again. It hurt too much when it ended.

I sorted through my mail, exchanged a few texts with Sienna and decided to call my mom before I had to get ready for 334/408

work. She had left me another message a few days ago, but I was at Jack’s and completely forgot to call her back. We talked for a while about her book club, dad’s latest wood project and how I was adjusting in the city. I hadn’t planned on mentioning Jack, because I didn’t want to worry her. I knew she had been worried about me after my breakup with Michael, and I figured it was better not to bring up that I was spending almost all of my free time with a man that she would assume was a rebound.

“I was starting to think I was going to have to send out a search party for you dear.”

“I’m sorry Mom, I was out and didn’t pick up the message until this morning.” Half a lie was better than a full lie.

“I called three days ago, were you traveling for a show?” Damn it, I forgot that 335/408

Mom doesn’t miss anything and I needed to be more careful.

“Ummm, no. I was at a friends.”

“Siennas?”

“Ummm, no.” Why couldn’t I be a better liar? Some people didn’t even have to think of a lie, they just opened their mouth and they came out fluently.

“Did

you make

some

new

friends?” Crap. She wasn’t going to stop until she got an explanation.

“No, mom. I met someone. I wasn’t going to mention it because it is so new.” If you counted Hawaii, it had been almost two months already, so new wasn’t exactly the truth.

“Oh.” I knew how my mother worked.

When

she

wanted

more

336/408

information, she would say “oh.” And me, being the type of person I was, would not be able to take the awkward silence that ensued and would vomit an explanation. But I wasn’t planning to give on the subject of Jack.

“Yes, mom. I just don’t want to talk about it yet.”

“Oh.”

Damn her. “I don’t want you to worry about me, mom. I’m fine.”

“So I should be worried about the new man you are seeing?” Yes mom, he makes pornos and has control issues. “No, mom, I didn’t mean that you should worry.”

“Oh.”

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God damn it, I needed to get out myself out of her web.

“What I meant was, I knew you would worry about me being in a relationship so soon after what happened with Michael.”

“Of course I worry about you honey, that’s what mom’s are supposed to do. So it’s more than dating then, you’re in a relationship?”

Shit, now I’ve worried her and put her into full on interrogation mode. I had no choice but to tell her something to make her feel better.

“Yes, mom. His name is Jack and he is very good to me.” I breathed out a sign of relief as I finally spoke the truth.

“Where did you meet him?” 338/408

Shit, shit. I was completely unprepared for that one. “I met him at work, mom.” I was too mortified to tell my mother than I met a man on what was supposed to be my honeymoon.

“Oh, so you work with him.” From the frying pan to the fire.

“Sort of. Look mom, my doorbell just buzzed. I have to run.”

“Okay, but I am thinking of coming down for a weekend, maybe next weekend?” Oh god, what have I done. “Sure, mom. Call me during the week. I have to run.”

I kicked myself as I got ready for work for not being better prepared for my call with my mom. I had her worried and was going to be subjected to grueling in person interrogation.

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***

The night went by fast and the club was pretty quiet for a Thursday. It was almost midnight and we were on our final song when I caught him staring at me from his seat at the bar. Michael. What the hell was the asshole doing at the club? I looked away, but it was too late, he knew that I saw him. I finished up and he wasted no time in making his way to the stage.

“Why are you here?” I wasn’t even going to pretend to be courteous.

“I needed to speak to you and you won’t return my calls Syd.” Michael took a step toward me and I took one back. I knew Travis was at my side before I actually saw him just from the look on Michael’s face.

“It’s okay Travis, I know him. But thank you.” I smiled wearily at Travis to reassure him.

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I saw a look of relief on Michael’s face as Travis nodded and walked back to start packing up. “What do you want Michael. Why do you keep calling me? “ My voice was low to keep Travis under control, but I made no mistake that I was angry.

“Can we talk?” A pause as he searched my face for something. “Please?” I exhaled loudly. “Fine, but I have pack up, so you can wait.” Michael nodded and went to wait by the bar.

I took my time packing up and had to reassure Travis I was okay three more times before he would leave. There were still a few stragglers in the club, so at least I wouldn’t have to be alone with Michael.

Eventually I walked over to the bar, even though I dreaded looking at 341/408

Michael, no less having a conversation in my place of work with him.

“Do you want a shot of tequila?” It annoyed me that he knew that I did, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing how well he knew me.

“No.” I stood a few feet from him as he sat on the bar stool.

“Can we sit at a table so that we have privacy? Please?” Michael looked to the bartender standing a few feet away and back to me.

I walked to an empty table a few feet from the bar and sat without saying a word, leaving him to follow me like a puppy.

Michael sat and I stared at him, waiting for the reason he was in New York, the reason he was at my job. He looked uncomfortable as he sat there looking back at 342/408

me. He reached for my hand as he spoke.

“Syd, I don’t know where to start. I’m so sorry and I need you.”

I pulled my hand away from his like his was on fire and I was burned. I was suddenly passed angry and closer to irate. I stood and spoke loudly “Is that why you came here?”

Michael jumped from his seat and reached out to grab my arm. “Syd, talk to me. You know…”

“Get your fucking hands off of her.” I heard Jack’s voce before I even saw him.

Michael turned toward the voice and didn’t see it coming. Jack’s fist collided with Michael’s cheekbone and I heard a loud crack. Michael fell onto the table and struggled to regain his footing.

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“What

the

hell?”

Michael

mumbled as he stood holding his cheek.

Jack’s arm reached out and pulled behind him and he took a step closer into Michael’s face. “It didn’t look like she wanted you touching her.” Michael looked to me, confused.

“Syd, who is this guy?” The whole thing happened so fast, I just stood there looking at Michael.

“Babe, are you okay?” Jack’s voice was softer when he spoke to me, but the anger was still there.

“I’m okay, he didn’t hurt me.”

“Babe? Who is this guy Syd?” Michael’s voice was angry. Did the asshole really think he could show up to my job to 344/408

apologize after what he did to me and then get jealous and angry?

“He’s my boyfriend Michael, as if it was any of your business!”

“Michael?” Jack looked to me for confirmation if it was that Michael. I just shook my head.

I didn’t expect Jack to be happy to have met Michael, but I also didn’t expect him to haul off and punch him again. The second punch landed on Michael’s nose and blood flew everywhere.

Security surrounded us, not that Jack needed any help. “Are you okay, Mr.

Heston?”

“I’m fine. Why wasn’t someone here to keep an eye on Syd?” 345/408

The security team scrambled for an excuse. “Ummm…she finished playing and the club was almost empty and we were changing shifts…”

Jack didn’t give them time to finish. “Get this asshole out of here and be in my office at 7am. I’m not dealing with this tonight.”

“Yes sir.” The three security guards helped Michael to his feet and for a second I felt bad for him.

Jack grabbed my hand and took a two steps toward the door before realizing I was still standing there. “Syd. Let’s go.” His voice brought me back to reality and I took one last look at Michael before I started to walk hand in hand with Jack to the door.

***

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Mateo was waiting outside and I didn’t say a word until we were half way to Jack’s. Then I remembered why I had been confused to see Jack, he was supposed to be out of town until tomorrow. “I thought you were out of town until tomorrow?”

“Is that why you were with him Syd?” Jack turned to face me, his face was masked and unreadable.

“What? No. I didn’t even know he was coming, he just showed up.”

“I came back because I didn’t want to sleep without you next to me.” Jack said it like he was laughing at himself even saying it, no less feeling that way.

I didn’t know what to say. His words were so sweet, but the tone they were spoken in contradicted their meaning. “You don’t believe me?”

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“I don’t know what to think Syd. I walked in and saw that asshole touching you and I lost it. Then I saw your face, and him reach for you, and I wanted to kill him.”

“I’m sorry Jack.” I reached for his hand and saw his swollen and bruised knuckles for the first time.

Jack turned to me, “What are you sorry for Syd?”

“I’m sorry that he showed up. I’m sorry that it’s my fault that you hurt your hand.” I spoke each word into his eyes and watched as his eyes softened and I knew he believed me.

“It’s not your fault.”

***

Jack stood in his kitchen, his back against the island countertop, legs crossed at 348/408

the ankle, arms folded across his chest, watching me put together an ice pack. I stood in front of him silently waiting for him to give me his bruised hand. “Hand.” I demanded.

Jack raised his eyebrows at my tone, but I caught a twitch upward at the corner of his mouth that he tried to conceal.

He gave me his hand and I saw him try to hide his wince as I held the ice to his bruised knuckles that were already a lovely shade of purple.

He looked down into my eyes

“What did he want Syd.”

“He tried to apologize and tell me that we belonged together and he wants me back.” My voice was low.

Jack closed his eyes for a minute and I waited anxiously for his response to come. “Do you want to go back to him?” 349/408

“What?” I was shocked he would even ask such a thing. “No! I can’t even stand to look at him! It took me a while to realize it, but I never really belonged with him.”

Jack took the ice pack from my hand and tossed it on the counter behind him. He took my hands in his and pulled them behind my back, securing them with his as he pulled me tightly against him.

“Who do you belong to Syd?” My heart melted knowing that such a strong, controlling man needed my reassurance.

“You, Jack.”

“Say it, Syd.” He pulled me tighter so that there was no air between our bodies.

My heart fluttered wildly, I knew it was true, but I hadn’t admitted it out loud.

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My voice was a whisper as I looked up at him. “I belong to you.” Jack’s grip on my hands behind my back tightened. His pale green eyes turned almost gray, dark and wild. “Say it again.

Louder.”

I raised my voice and matched his gaze. “I belong to you.” His lips covered mine urgently and our mouths slid harshly as our tongues collided with insatiable need. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I felt his hardness pressing into me and I un-wittingly gasped. My reaction drew him into even more of a frenzy. His hand on my ass pulled me deeper into him as our kiss deepened into an almost violent state. His other hand wrapped in my hair and he forced us apart purposefully. “Say it again.” 351/408

I was breathless and panting. “I belong to you, Jack.”

He growled and I felt his hand dive between my legs, sliding his fingers under my underwear, quickly finding my clit with his thumb. He pushed down gently and massaged small rapid circles. I knew he was making sure I was ready to take him. Even in his own frenzied state he put my needs before his own. When he was sure I was wet and ready, he turned us so that my ass rested against the countertop as he opened his pants, freeing his enormous erection.

I felt the wide crest of his cock at my entrance and I tried desperately to free my hands from his strong hold behind my back, desperate to touch it, glide my hands up and down its massive length. But my attempt was fruitless under Jack’s strong grip.

He circled his hips with just the crest inside of me and I arched my back trying to pull 352/408

him deeper inside of me, but Jack’s other hand pinned me in place where he wanted me. “Again.” He commanded.

“I belong to you. Only you.” My cry was desperate, I needed him inside of me so badly it was painful. But my response was raw and full of emotion and earned me what I wanted. Jack thrust into me deeply stretching me wide as he filled me to his root. He grinded deeply inside of me, desperate to go further. “Again.” His voice was throaty and deep.

“You, I belong to you, only you.” Jack held me in place, restraining my movement and pumping deep and hard into me as if his life depended on filling me.

His constant, rhythmic pounding over and over, deeper and deeper had me panting wildly and I was on the edge of what I knew would be a wild, soaring orgasm. I shut my 353/408

eyes and began to let it wash over me as he continued his brutal thrusts.

“Open your eyes.”

My eyes flew open to meet his.

“Again.”

My orgasm ripped through me at his command. “I belong.” I moaned, unable to finish the sentence in one breath. His rhythm quickened and I knew he was unable to hold back much longer. “to you.” The last two words came out in a scream as the orgasm completely washed over my body, shaking me to my core. I felt the heat of Jack’s semen run through me as he emptied his body and filled mine. He growled my name and my body collapsed spinelessly into his arms.

I was vaguely aware of Jack carrying me to the bedroom and covering me up, 354/408

but I was exhausted and emotionally drained and my body needed to escape to rest.

***

The next morning I was surprised to find Jack next to me when I woke. We had established a routine of him getting up while I slept and me going to find him in his office hours later. “You’re still in bed.” I smiled and snuggled closer to him.

He spoke with his lips in my hair as he kissed the top of my head. “I couldn’t leave you this morning.” I knew what he meant. I needed him next to me that morning after the night we had too. “I’m glad you couldn’t.” I spoke softly.

I rested my head on his naked chest, playing with the smattering of hair, 355/408

twirling it between my fingers. “My mom is coming down for a visit next weekend.” His hand had been stroking my hair and stopped in its place. “Do you want me to meet her?”

I thought about the question before asking. “I don’t think I have a choice. I sort of mentioned I met someone and she started an interrogation over the phone. If she doesn’t get to meet you, she won’t sleep for a month.”

Jack laughed lightly and I was relieved that he didn’t seem bothered by my response. “Where is she staying?” I hadn’t thought about it. My apartment was small, but she could share my bed with me for a night or two and deal with the close space. Although there would be ab-solutely no escaping her inquisition in such a 356/408

small area. “My place I guess, we didn’t really talk about it.”

“I’ll book you a suite here, so you can each have your own bedroom. I’ll tell the manager to book you both a day at the spa so you can relax and get pampered together.” I raised my head to look at him.

“That’s very sweet, but I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t ask, I offered, and I want to do it. Plus, I have my own secret agenda. It keeps you closer to me and butters up your mom for me.” I laughed. “I can’t image any woman would need any buttering for them to not fall head over heals for you.” Jack rolled on top of me playfully.

“Is that so?”

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“You’re a mother’s dream. Tall, dark and handsome, good manners, straight teeth and wealthy.”

“What about her daughter’s dream. How am I doing there?”

“Fulfilling them all.” I lifted my head to kiss him softly.

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Chapter 20

The next week flew by and I was surprised that I was actually looking forward to my mom’s visit. Lyle had complained, but gave me Saturday night off, and the thought of staying at the Heston Grand and having all day spa treatments with my mom was exciting. At first, my mother balked at the idea of staying at a hotel, but then I filled her in on Jack and his hotels and she warmed to the idea quickly. She sounded excited to visit and I realized that I had missed her and was excited to see her too.

Jack had insisted on Mateo picking up my mom Saturday morning and had arranged what sounded like an amazing day.

Brunch in Café Dumo, the hotel’s five star restaurant, followed by massages, manicures and pedicures, and wash and blow outs at 360/408

the Luxor Spa. He had booked us into the Presidential Suite, one floor below Jack’s Penthouse, which occupied the entire top floor.

Jack gave me the key to the suite Saturday morning and told me that he had work to do all day and would meet us at our room at seven, before dinner. I took the elevator down one floor and found the entire floor had suites named after presidents.

Each single door had a carved sign with a president’s name and a silhouette of the president’s profile. Following the signs for the presidential suite, I passed Ford, Lincoln, Washington and Kennedy. As I passed the Kennedy suite, I remembered that Jack had said that he kept a “sex suite” and wondered if one of them was his secret love shack. Perhaps the Kennedy suite? After all, his name was Jack and he was known as the womaniz-ing president. I hated the thought of Jack’s suite seeping into my brain to darken the day 361/408

after all that Jack had done to make the day perfect for my mom and I.

I arrived at the double door Presidential Suite and slipped in the key to open it.

The smell of fresh flowers hit me immediately as I entered. The suite was beautiful and enormous. Floor to ceiling windows overlooking Manhattan, glistening white marble floors and three huge bouquets of all white roses sat in sparkling crystal vases spread across the grand living room. To the right was a working fireplace, with a huge wooden carved mirror hanging above the mantle. To the left was a dining room, a small kitchen and a long hallway, which I assumed lead to the bedrooms.

I had expected the suite to be nice, but it was beyond anything that I could have imagined. It hadn’t dawned on me that the suite was truly a presidential suite and it was likely that it had housed actual presidents in 362/408

the past. I walked to the dining room table, where a card was perched up on one of the vases that houses at least two dozen roses. I opened the card, recognizing Jack’s handwriting immediately. Syd, Hope you enjoythe suite. The thought of you being so close,yet not in our bed, is going to kill me tonight. Jack.

Holy. Shit. Our bed. Did he even realize that he wrote it? My heart swelled at the thought that Jack thought of his bed as our bed. I was falling deeper and deeper for the incredible man and all of the little thoughtful things that he did for me. He made me feel taken care of on so many levels. He took care of me physically, emotionally and definitely sexually. As I looked around the suite, feeling engulfed by Jack, I realized that what he needed to hear from me was true, I belonged to him.

***

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By the end of the day, I felt like a princess. I knew the spa was exclusive and expected good service, but Jack had made sure that my every need was taken care of. I was positive that the staff had to have been advised of who I was because they couldn’t possibly be that attentive to every customer every day in the same way they were to my mom and I. We sipped champagne and wore plush robes that were embroidered with our initials and were truly treated like royalty.

The young girl that did my manicure was sweet, but chatty. She told me that the spa had brought in one of the top celebrity stylists for our blowouts and that Mr. Heston selected our masseuses personally. I was impressed, but not surprised, at the length that Jack had went to. I was starting to realize that one of the reasons that he was so successful was that he didn’t do anything half way.

***

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I hadn’t even realized that the suite had a doorbell until it rang at promptly 7pm.

Of course, I was running late and Jack was right on time. I opened the door and flung my arms around his neck, giving him a big kiss and hug. Jack smiled down at me,

“What was that for?”

“It was for being the best boyfriend ever. We had the best day. Thank you baby.” I reached up on my tippy toes and kissed him again gently on the lips.

“Well, I really hope that you are Jack, with the kind of welcome you just got.” I heard my mom speak from behind me and blushed at the thought of what she had just watched me do. I must have looked like a schoolgirl running up to the boy that she had a crush on.

Jack smiled, his insanely perfect smile and full lips, extending his hand with 365/408

one arm and keeping the other wrapped tightly around my waist. “You must be Mrs.

St. Claire, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Good god, I decided right there and then that my children were going to the same boarding school that Jack went to, just so they could come out with his incredibly alluring manners.

Mom, shook Jack’s hand and I could swear she blushed a little bit as she said, “Call me Renee, please.”

“Renee.” Jack nodded and released her hand.

“Go get ready honey, you are always late. I won’t tell Jack too many stories about your childhood if you hurry.” Mom laughed, but I knew she wasn’t kidding.

I gave her a silent “I’ll kill you if you do” face as I walked by and then rushed 366/408

to finish getting ready. I heard Jack and mom laughing a few times in the other room and, although I was afraid of what horrible childhood stories she was sharing, the sound of them laughing together warmed my heart.

Jack stood as I entered the room.

The only time the man didn’t have perfect manners was in the bedroom. In the bedroom, he was domineering and command-ing, such a stark contrast in some ways to the please and thank you gentleman that stood before me. Although, if I really thought about it, both bedroom and gentlemanly Jack had one thing in common, they took care of me.

***

Dinner was incredible, even though mom shared too many embarrassing childhood stories. She told Jack about my penchant for streaking when I was four and 367/408

about the time that I took off all my clothes and rode my bicycle down the entire block naked. Apparently, I had only made it about a dozen houses before the old lady next door called to report that she was upset at my lewd behavior. I knew from Jack’s face during that particular story that I’d be hearing more about my little naked endeavors later.

Mom didn’t grill Jack as bad as I thought she would, but she seemed satisfied at the answers she got to the questions she was able to get in. The glass of wine with dinner, coupled with the massage during the day and how well things were going, allowed me to relax. But my relaxation didn’t last long, every muscle jumped back into a tight ball of stress, the minute I saw Jack’s father walk into the restaurant. I silently said a prayer that he wouldn’t see us, but God wasn’t listening.

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Jack’s back was to the door, so he had no warning until he was standing aside our table. “Sydney, how nice to see you.” I watched as a Jack’s face changed, his smiling eyes shuttered and his jaw tensed as he turned with a face of steel. “Son, it wasn’t enough to take out one pretty girl this evening, you had to bring her sister too?” Shit. I had to do something, if Jack had to say more than two words to his father, I knew it wasn’t going to end pretty. I jumped in head first, “This is my mom, Renee, Mr. Heston.” My mom turned to face Jack’s dad and I watched her take him in.

He was an older, more polished looking version of Jack. Jack was sexy with chiseled features, but there was still something about him that was rough and rugged looking. His dad, on the other hand, screamed old money and polish and didn’t look like he ever had a fistfight in his life. But he was still a very 369/408

handsome older man, a fact clearly not lost on my mother.

“Didn’t I tell you to call me Jack, Sydney? The way you two have been inseparable lately, you might be calling me Dad one day.” His father winked at me with his comment.

Jack’s father held out his hand to my mother and I thought Jack was going to explode when he brought my mother’s hand to his mouth and gently kissed the top of her hand. Luckily my aim was good, and my foot met Jack’s shin under the table just as he was pushing his chair back to get up. He looked at me and I sent him warning eyes, begging him to stay put. I was shocked that he listened.

My mother blushed a bit “Nice to meet you Mr. Heston.”

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“You too, my dear. I can see where Syd gets her beauty from.” Shit, Shit, Shit. From the look on Jack’s face, I knew he was about to blow and I had to do something quick. I stood awkwardly. “It was nice to see you, Mr. Heston, mum Jack, you’ll have to excuse me I was just going to go the ladies room before you walked over. Mom, why don’t you join me?” Mom looked disappointed to be dragged away from the debonair Jack Heston Sr., but she stood to go, nonetheless. “It was nice meeting you Mr. Heston.” My mom shook his hand again and I nodded, knowing a physical touch from his father to me could send Jack right over the edge.

“Be right back Jack.” I smiled and widened my eyes to Jack, another attempt at a warning.

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I took as long as I could in the bathroom, trying to wait out whatever storm had to come to pass in the restaurant. My mom didn’t seem to notice anything unusual about Jack’s dad’s visit to our table, or, if she did, she didn’t say anything. Either way, I was grateful not to have to explain anything to her. I reapplied my lipstick, stalling for time, and then took a deep breath as we made our way back to our table. I was relieved to find Jack’s father gone and didn’t dare look around the restaurant for him, for fear finding him would cause him to re-appear. Jack was sitting at the table and I noticed he had an empty small cut crystal glass in front of him that wasn’t there earlier. As we sat, I realized that he had ordered a drink and downed it while we were in the restroom.

“I ordered us dessert to be delivered to my suite, Renee said she wanted to 372/408

see my floor.” His voice was harder than it was earlier, but I knew he was trying for me.

I mouthed thank you to him and he responded with a small smile and nod of the head.

Jack kept his hand at the small of my back and didn’t look back as we walked out of the restaurant. I saw his dad out of the corner of my eye, sitting at a table with a woman who looked at least 20 years his junior.

***

After dessert and a grand tour of his penthouse, Jack walked my mom and I back to the Presidential Suite. My mom graciously said goodnight and went to her room to give us a few minutes of privacy.

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“You okay? You had me scared there for a few minutes when I saw your face when your father stopped by our table.”

“I’ll deal with him later.” He buried his head in my hair and nibbled on my neck.

I giggled. “Stop, my mother is in the next room.”

“You could sneak upstairs after she goes to sleep.” Jack teased as he continued trailing kisses down my neck.

I ducked out of his reach. “No way. I think she really likes you. I’m not messing that up.” I teased playfully as I walked around him and started to push him towards the door.

Jack turned at the door and took my face in his hands. “You think she likes 374/408

me?” He could be so irresistibly adorable when he wanted to.

“Yes, I think she loves you.”

“I’ve never met a woman’s mother before.”

I’d forgotten that he didn’t have any relationship experience and that things like meeting my parents would be first experiences to him. He just seemed so confident and secure in doing them, that it was easy to forget that it was new for him. I adored that he cared that she liked him and that he was nervous about it. If it was possible, it made him even more endearing to me.

“Well, mine loved you.” I reached up on my tippy toes and kissed his nose.

Jack kissed me again chastely goodnight and I watched him walk down the 375/408

hall. I could have sworn that he looked at the Kennedy suite and then back to me, confirming what I had wondered just the day before.

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Chapter 21

Saturday night I didn’t mind going to work, but only because I knew Jack and Sienna were coming to the club. Sienna was bringing a few friends from her band and I was surprised when Jack had agreed to join them. Sienna had told me to invite Jack, but I never actually expected him to agree to join them.

Sienna and her friends arrived first, and I could tell that the party wasn’t just getting started; it had been underway for at least a few hours. They were rowdy and loud, but it was just what the club needed.

Sienna was clad in one of her usual club hopping outfits, 4 inch high heeled black leather boots that came to her knees, a black leather mini skirt and a tight black Sinners concert t-shirt

emblazoned

with

red

sparkling

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sequins. I picked a song I knew she couldn’t resist and watched as she made her way to the dance floor. By the time the song ended, the number of people on the dance floor had doubled. Sienna’s energy could get a party at a funeral started.

I couldn’t resist calling Sienna to the stage for a song. Of course, it didn’t take much to get her to oblige, I couldn’t remember Sienna ever turning down an opportunity to sing since we were kids. It didn’t matter where or when; she was always ready for a performance. I told the band what song to sing and the two of us took turns singing different parts. We hadn’t practiced the song together in years, but neither one hesitated when it was our part to sing. It just came naturally to sing with Sienna, as it always did since 3rd grade. As we dove into the chorus singing in perfect harmony together, I saw Jack standing watching us from the bar. I 379/408

smiled at him and he smiled back as he raised his glass to me.

The crowd loved our performance and I knew it was a bad time to take a set break. I should have kept the energy going by singing another dance song.

But I

wanted to say hi to the beautiful man on the other side of the room and show Sienna to the booth that I had reserved for them.

Jack didn’t move as I walked in his direction, but his eyes never left me.

I

looked up to his gorgeous face as I walked, captured by his green eyes sparkling in the semidarkness of the club. His focus on me was searing. I didn’t say a word and neither did he. Instead my mouth reach up and went for his. It took less than two seconds for Jack to regain control of the kiss that I had started. He took my face in his hands and held my face where he wanted it as he kissed me senseless.

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By the time he broke the kiss, my knees were weak. I was in the middle of a club, a club where I worked, and the man had me panting and breathless in twenty seconds flat. I should have known better than to start anything remotely sexual with Jack in public.

“You looked like you were having a great time up there.” Jack’s thumb rubbed my bottom lip as he spoke.

I took a deep breath to regain my wits. “I was, I really do love singing with Sienna.”

Sienna broke into our cocoon, the sarcasm dripping from her voice. “I’d say get a room, but you already have a whole hotel full of them, don’t you?” Jack and I both turned to Sienna. “I do. But I have to warn off the hungry masses of men drooling at the two of you on stage 381/408

somehow, don’t I? Jack’s words were said in jest, but I knew there was an element of truth in them. He was definitely an alpha dog that marked his territory to keep the pack at bay.

“Well, don’t keep the masses from me, I don’t have a prince charming of my own to sweep me off my feet at the end of the night yet.” Sienna winked and reached up and kissed Jack on the cheek.

Jack shook his head and smiled and Sienna introduced us to her friends.

Some of them I already knew from the band, but there were a few new faces. After a few minutes, I excused myself and went back to rejoin the band. The night went by quickly and I loved watching my friends dance and enjoy my music.

I tried not to focus on Jack, but I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t be in a room with him and not watch him.

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And I caught him watching me on more than just a few occasions too.

***

The next afternoon, I laid in bed with a bit of a hangover from the tequila shots I had with Sienna after I finished working. My head dangled sideways at the foot of the bed, the covers pulled up to my neck. An hour earlier, Jack moved from his office and sat with his back against the headboard, typ-ing on the keyboard of the laptop on his lap.

“Do you really like this movie?” I turned to look at him, I loved to see him that way, wearing a simple white t-shirt and jeans and his feet crossed at the ankles, his long legs splayed down the length of the bed. He looked so young and relaxed, I knew that it wasn’t a side of him that many 383/408

people knew. “It’s a classic, who doesn’t love Ghost?”

“Babe, men don’t like Ghost.”

“They don’t?”

“No, they don’t.”

“And you speak for all men?” I rose an eyebrow inquisitively.

“I do.”

I crawled up the bed, straddling his legs. “What do men like then?” Jack grinned and folded down his laptop.

“You, naked and the tv off.” I pressed my pelvis down and felt his erection stabbing into my cleft. “Is that 384/408

all men, or just you?” I teased as I rolled my hips.

Jack leaned up and firmly gripped my ribcage. “There will be no other men seeing you naked.”

I leaned in and bit his ear gently before I whispered, “Because I belong to you.”

***

The following Monday was Jack’s birthday and I wanted to surprise him, but what do you get a man with unlimited re-sources and a personal shopper with exquis-ite taste? I struggled for almost a week and decided on a gift with meaning instead of something from a store that I couldn’t really afford and he didn’t really want. I was sure it was a great idea, until I was on my way to his 385/408

office to surprise him with it, then I thought it was a stupid gift and I would embarrass myself.

The guard greeted me at the door and recognized me from my earlier visit with Jack. I told him I wanted to surprise Jack for his birthday. He was hesitant to let me in, but did it anyway when I reassured him that it was okay. I passed a few people on the way to Jack’s office door, all of them said hello and seemed to remember me.

I was

feeling confident until I stood in front his closed office door. I suddenly felt like an in-truder and wasn’t sure if I should knock or walk in. I decided to knock.

Jack yelled to come in and I opened the door. He was leaning against the front of his desk with his arms folded and Jenna sat in front of him, too close for my liking. His face showed surprise at my visit, but he made no attempt to hide anything he 386/408

was doing. Jenna turned and saw me, giving me a cunning smile. “Syd, is everything okay?”

I took a few steps inside, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. “I….I….I just wanted to surprise you with a birthday present. But I see that you’re busy, I’m sorry I interrupted.” I put the wrapped package down on the couch in his office and turned for the door, desperately needing to get out of there. It was suddenly as if all the air in the building had been sucked out and I needed to make it outside for my next breath.

Jack caught me at the end of the hall, grabbing onto my arm. “Syd, what’s going on? Where are you going?” I couldn’t turn to look at him for fear I would lose it. All of the memories came flashing back from the day that I 387/408

walked into Michael’s office and found him leaning against his desk, his secretary on her knees, her head bobbing as she took him in.

I struggled to free myself from Jack’s grip and ran as fast as I could to my car.

***

Jack stopped calling after the first day. I don’t know why I wouldn’t return his calls. I knew I was acting childish, but I wasn’t ready to speak to him. I couldn’t even bring myself to listen to his voicemails.

Three days later, I was still dragging myself around feeling sick and sorry for myself. I had dark circles under my eyes and my face was swollen from crying. My hair was matted from the tossing and turning the night before and I didn’t have the desire to brush it. I forced myself to undress and turned on the hot water to steam up my tiny bathroom.

The knock at the front door startled me, as I was about to step into the shower.

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I threw on my robe and went to the door to find Jack on the other side.

“What do you want?” My voice was low and lackluster.

Jack stepped inside, closing the door behind him. “I don’t know what the fuck I did, but I’m going crazy Syd.” I looked up at him, seeing him for the first time in three days. He looked like I felt. The impeccably groomed man with the pale sparkling eyes was a disheveled mess. He had three days of scrub and his skin was sallow and eyes dim.

“I can’t do this Jack.” My voice was a whisper and the words began to break as I spoke. Jack took a step toward me and I put my hand up, keeping him at distance.

“What can’t you do Syd?” His tone was angry and he took another step closer.

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I took another step back and spoke to his chest. “I can’t close my eyes and not see what is going on around me just because it makes life easier for me.” Jack took another step closer and lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him.

“Look at me. What do you think is going on?”

I looked away and didn’t respond.

I was fighting the tears back with all my might and I couldn’t look into his eyes.

He let go of my face and raked both his hands through his hair in frustration.

Then he took a deep breath and grabbed my face with both hands, bringing himself down to my eye level. I had nowhere to look but into his eyes. “Nothing is going on and you know it. You’re scared. And so the fuck am I.” He paused and searched my eyes. “Baby, I’m not him. I’m not the asshole that made 390/408

you afraid of giving yourself to me, but I wish like hell I could take away what he did to you. Because I’m in. I’m all in baby. I’m not perfect and I don’t know what the fuck I did to deserve someone as good as you, but you have me and I’m not settling for just a part of you. I want you. I want all of you baby.” The tears flooded my eyes and poured down my face. Jack pulled me close to him and held me until there were no more tears left.

I pulled my face out of his chest.

“There’s nothing going on between you and Jenna?” I looked up at him raw, vulnerabil-ity on the table bared to him.

“There’s only you baby.” Jack paused and reached down and lifted me up, cradling me into his arms. “I belong to you.” 391/408

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Chapter 22

Weeks passed and my angst about Jack’s other life and the people he shared it with began to subside. We began to fall back into a routine and we even went out with Jack’s friend Tyler that I met in Hawaii and his new girlfriend a few times. We were beginning to settle in as a couple and, although it scared me, I was happier than I had ever been in my life.

Sunday morning we were reading the paper in bed when my cell phone rang and flashed a picture of Sienna. “Hey.” I didn’t even get to finish the word, Sienna was already talking over me. I had to ask her to slow down just to be able to make out the words that she was saying, her voice was screeching with excitement and she was going a mile a minute. I was only able to make 394/408

out the last sentence. “The Smiths, Syd, can you believe it!”

I was confused and my conversation had gotten Jack’s attention too. He looked at me silently asking if everything was all right and I shrugged my shoulders in response. “What about the Smiths?” Sienna took a deep breath to calm her on the phone. “They want us to open for them Syd! They want us, me and you, us, to open for them!”

“What, when?” I loved the Smiths.

Years ago, when Sienna and I had a band back in Boston, we had made friends with a lot of other local bands, one of them was the Smiths. We had a mutual respect for each other’s music and we had always joked that some day we would alternate opening for each other’s bands when we went on tour.

Years later, the Smiths made it big and 395/408

Sienna and I were happy that, if it couldn’t have been us, we were glad it was them. Sienna and I had been to a dozen concerts over the last few years together and I knew they were about to release another album.

“On their tour Syd.” Her voice was elevating back to screaming. “They want us to open for them for their whole tour!”

“I didn’t even know they had a tour set up here anytime soon.”

“They don’t, it’s a European tour Syd. Four months of singing and traveling through Europe with the Smiths! Can. You.

Fucking. Believe it!”

I held the phone away from my ear as she continued to scream. Oh. My. God. It was my dream come true. I had no idea how it happened, but it was every musicians dream. I turned and looked at Jack and suddenly my heart was in my throat. I saw in 396/408

his face that he overheard the news that Syd had just shared. How could he not have, she was screaming every word.

Sienna blabbered on and on, as I struggled to keep my composure on the phone with her. I felt like I was just punched in the stomach and the wind was knocked out of me. I was thrilled and excited, but scared and sickened at the same time.

“When does it start?” I had to feign excitement, but it broke my heart as Jack rose from the bed and went into the living room.

“A week?” I was exasperated.

“When do they need an answer?”

“An answer?” Sienna laughed. “I already gave them one! Of course we are doing this Syd!”

A few minutes later I was able to get Sienna off the phone and found Jack standing against the window, looking out 397/408

over the city. I wrapped my arms around his back and hugged him tightly, my front pressed into his back. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes.

“When do you leave?” Jack turned to face me, clasping his arms around my back.

“In a week. It’s a four month European tour.”

I caught Jack’s jaw tense, but he tried to hide it from me. He brushed my hair back from my face. “Congratulations Syd.

It’s your dream come true.” I thought about his words. He was right. It was my dream come true, but why did it feel like my worst nightmare? “Thank you. I think I need some time to process it all.”

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***

A few days passed and Jack and I went about our lives as usual. We talked about the tour schedule, the travel plans and the venues we would play, but we steered clear of the thing we both needed to talk about most. Us. What would my leaving do to us? Would we be able to survive as a couple with months of not seeing other?

Would we even try a long distance relationship? I wasn’t sure why we hadn’t talked about it yet, but I was terrified of the answers that needed to be said.

Two days before I was to leave, I woke up to find Jack in his home office working. I couldn’t leave without having the conversation, no matter how much I dreaded having it. I sat on the other side of his desk, something I had never done before. The only place I ever sat in his office was on Jack’s 399/408

lap. Jack looked up at me and waited for me to speak.

“What’s going to happen to us when I go Jack?” My voice was low.

Jack stopped what he was doing and his hands rubbed his forehead. “What do you want to happen Syd?”

“I don’t want to go Jack. I’m afraid to leave you, I don’t want to lose you.” A tear escaped before I could stop it.

“I don’t want you to go either Syd.

But you have to. When we first met in Hawaii you said yourself that you had forgotten who you were when you were with Michael. You need to do this for you. It’s your dream.” He came around the desk and lifted me, setting me down on top of his lap. “I’ll come to Europe to see you and you can come home when you have a few days between 400/408

shows.” His face was serious and his tone was unwavering.

I knew he was right, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. I looked into his eyes and saw his sacrifice. “I love you Jack.” I hadn’t planned to say it, the words just came out on their own.

Jack lifted me up and carried me to the bedroom, setting me down on the bed gently. I watched as he unbuckled his pants and took off his boxers, never taking his eyes off of me. He sat me up and pulled the tank top I was wearing over my head. He climbed on top of me and gently kissed my lips. He pulled his head back just enough to look me in the eyes. “I love you too Syd.” Then he made love to me.

***

401/408

On the morning of my flight, I was surprised that Jack said he needed to stop at the office. “I just have to pick up something.

We can stop on the way to the airport, it will only take five minutes.” We were both quiet, but it didn’t have anything to do with the unplanned stop at Jack’s office. I wasn’t going to see Jack for three full weeks, until I had a break in my schedule. We planned for him to fly to Rome for four days then. He was going to come for the Rome concert and then we were going to stay three days together, before I had to fly out to Prague for the next show.

Mateo pulled up in front of Jack’s office and he opened the door and held out his hand. I was surprised that he wanted me to come inside, after the last time I had visited. I really didn’t want his last memory of me in his office to be my childish behavior 402/408

from last time, so I sucked it up and got out with him without question.

Jack’s assistant spied us as soon as we walked in. “It’s on your desk.” She smiled at me sweetly.

We walked to his office hand in hand. I was relieved that I didn’t have any Jenna sightings that might upset me before I had to leave. Inside his office, Jack handed me an envelope.

“What’s this?”

“Open it.”

Inside was a pretty silver heart keychain with a bunch of keys and some folded papers.

I looked at him curiously.

“The keys to the penthouse, my office and the storage unit. And an open first 403/408

class ticket in case you need to come home for an unplanned visit.” I understood the first two and the last. “The storage unit?” I asked confused.

“Where I’m having your furniture stored next weekend. I’m moving you into the penthouse next weekend. You can figure out what you want to keep and get rid of when you get back.”

My eyes widened with disbelief. I was about to argue when, through the corner of my eye, I saw the picture that I had given him on his desk, perfectly positioned for him to see from his chair. He had taken the present I had rudely delivered to him on his birthday and put it proudly on display. My picture was on the desk of the man who never had any personal belongings in his office.

I took a deep breath and decided to throw caution to the wind. “Okay.” 404/408

“Okay?” He had definitely expected more of an argument.

I reached up on my tippy toes and kissed him sweetly on the mouth. “I belong to you, so why not.”

Jack tipped my head back and kissed me deeply. “I’m going to be taking a lot of cold showers over the next three weeks.” He made a sexy growling noise as he took both my ass cheeks into his hands and pressed me up against his erection. For the first time in a week, I felt like we might actually make it. We might…..

Jack and Sydney’s story continues in book two, Made For You.

405/408

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