Chapter 20

Rafael woke up after midnight to the murmuring sound of the TV and someone moving about the kitchen. He pulled on his pajama pants, and instead of finding Bellona, he once again discovered Set putting together sandwiches.

Rafaels shoulders slumped. Shes left again, hasnt she?

Yeah, she had to follow up on something and didnt want to wake or worry you. Sandwich? Set offered and placed one of them on a plate in front of Rafael before he could reply.

You mean she didnt want me to go with her, Rafael muttered and sat at the counter. He didnt like the sick feeling curling its way through his stomach. Did she only want him to fuck? Because it was starting to feel that way.

Whatever thought you just had, Im telling you right now, its wrong, Set said. He put a glass of juice next to the sandwich. Eat something.

Rafael was hungry, so he bit into the sandwich. Thanks.

Bellona is used to doing things her way, Rafael. You mean too much to her to keep putting you in harms way. Youre not like us. Yes, you can handle yourself in a fair fight, but these fucks arent going to be fair on you. They want you dead so they can get their money, Set said, putting his sandwich down. Let her look after you for the love of all the gods. Shes losing her mind worrying about you, and this is the only way she sees how she can fix it.

Rafael swallowed a mouthful of food and tried to push his hurt feelings aside. I dont like that she didnt tell me she was leaving, thats all. I know Im not like you two. Obviously. That doesnt mean I dont care what happens, and never, ever ask me to be okay with her getting hurt. Its never going to happen.

Set let out a tired sigh. I know. Its not like she goes out of her way to get messed up. We heal, but we still feel pain. She would rather take the bullet for you because she will come back from it. You wont. When the sun comes up, Ill let you call Ayla. She was human when we met. She might be able to give you better advice than me about dating a god.

Rafael laughed. Dating? Is that what we are doing?

Some variation of it. Bellona is too busy to figure that part out yet, but she will.

Rafael finished his sandwich as he thought. What do you mean Ayla was human? Is she not anymore?

Nope. Its a long story, but I ended up giving her part of my power when we had to get resurrected.

Rafael blinked. I dont know where to start with that.

Set laughed. You hang around the gods, and weird shit is going to happen. Something you need to consider.

Apart from people trying to kill me, this is the most fun Ive had in years, Rafael admitted. He hadnt given much thought to the fact that Bellona was immortal, and he wasnt. He filed it away as a future problem. There was no way to know Bellona would want him once the job ended anyway.

The locks on the door rattled, and Bellona hobbled inside. Raf... she gasped. Rafael bolted to her, catching her before she collapsed. Golden ichor was pouring out from underneath a soaked towel.

Set! Shes hurt! Rafael cried out. He lifted Bellona in his arms and carried her to the guest room.

What have you been hit with, Bells? Set asked, his voice deadly calm.

S-Shotgun. Gut, she said. She was drenched in sweat, her usually golden skin a deathly gray.

Show me. Set reached for the cloth, but she shook her head.

No. R-Raf cant see…

Its okay. I can handle it, Rafael said, not knowing if it was true.

Set gently lifted the towel to reveal a gaping wound surrounded by a spray of pellets that were working their way out of her. Rafael swallowed hard and focused back on her face. What can I do?

Im going to need hot water, clean towels, tweezers, and a small bowl for the metal coming out of her, Set replied, studying the wound. Fuck, Bells, youre a mess.

In the safe. Theres m-moley from Circe, she said. Rafael had no idea what moley was, but Set did and looked relieved.

Ill get it. Whats the code? he asked.

2909, Bellona replied, making Rafaels heart skip a beat. It was his birthday and the feast day of Saint Rafael. It was how he had gotten his name.

Okay, hang tight. Rafael, go get that water and stuff I need, Set instructed, snapping him out of his spiraling thoughts.

Rafael went to the kitchen and searched the cabinets. He pulled out a large mixing bowl, turned on the hot water kettle, and searched for clean towels in the linen cupboard. He found the tweezers in the first-aid kit and tried to only focus on the next thing. Not on the fact that Bellona was bleeding out or that the code to her safe was his birthday.

He carried everything back into the room just in time to see Set taking the cap off a vial of amber liquid with a small piece of herb in it.

Bottoms up, Set said, and Bellona opened her mouth. He tipped it in, and Bellona swallowed with a grimace.

That tastes like ass, she complained. Light started to dance under her skin, and she groaned.

Look at that. Its working. Rafael, give me the tweezers and the cloths.

He handed them over and suddenly didnt know what to do. Bellona reached for him, so he sat on the other side of the bed, out of Sets way. She hung onto his hand, flinching as Set dug about for bullets.

Be mad at me for leaving later, not now, she whispered.

Rafael lifted her hand and kissed it. Okay, but you cant use your feminine wiles to distract me.

Set put a tiny bit of metal in the spare bowl. She has those?

Jumping into my arms and demanding I fuck her has a certain charm, Rafael replied.

Set snickered, and Bellona grumbled. Hate you both. Rafael stroked Bellonas hair while Set continued to pick pellets out of her.

I have to hand it to Circe; her potions work quickly. Youre already almost closed up. Whatever is left in there will work its way out by morning, Set said and rocked back on his heels. Youll be tender as your insides heal. Theres no more I can do, so Im going to go to bed. Rafael can take you for a shower to get cleaned up. Ensure you eat the sandwich I put in the fridge.

Yes, nurse, she replied.

Set ruffled her hair. Tell me about your adventures tomorrow. Get some rest. Rafael? Look after her.

I will, even if she doesnt like it, Rafael reassured him.

Set said goodnight and left them alone, still in a bed covered in Bellonas ichor.

Rafael went about the other side of the bed and slid his arm under the backs of her knees. Arms around me, goddess. Im going to take you upstairs for a bath.

Bellona rested her face in the groove of his neck. A bath sounds good. My insides feel like they have been shredded.

Not funny.

Its a little funny. Too soon? she asked. Rafael carried her the rest of the way up the stairs and to her bathroom.

Way too soon. Im still processing seeing your insides almost becoming your outsides, he said. He made sure she could stand before he helped her out of her clothes and into the warm shower. She sat on the marble seat, rinsing off, while Rafael fussed over her. Stay there, and Ill fill the tub.

Bellonas bathtub was a white and gold clawfoot tub, deep enough for two people. Rafael let it fill halfway before he helped Bellona out of the shower and into the warm water.

Thank you, she said with a sigh. She tugged on his gray pajamas. You coming in too?

Am I invited? I dont ever want to presume, he replied.

Bellona gave him a playful look. Does my back look like its going to wash itself? Get in here and look after me like you said you would.

As my goddess demands, Rafael said, removing his pants. They were covered in ichor and water, and he was glad to be rid of them. He slid in behind Bellona and cradled her back against him. Is now the time to admit you scared the living hell out of me, bleeding out like that?

You can admit it. Shouldnt it comfort you to know that I heal quickly? Bellona replied, leaning into him.

It comforts me, but I still hate seeing you hurt. Im never going to be able to get used to it, even if I can accept it. Rafael took a soft flannel and soaped it up. He gently ran it over her skin. It had lost its gray color but wasnt yet back to its usual shine. Tell me what happened tonight to get you into such a state. Assure me it was worth it.

It was worth it, Bellona replied before recounting her adventures while he had been blissfully asleep. Visiting Cino, Bellona getting kidnapped, then saving people from trafficking… He could barely believe it had all happened in one night.

Ill admit it was worth it. I cant believe they are trafficking, Rafael said. He rested a hand over the soft new scar on her side. Im sorry you had to get so hurt for it.

I got here and back to you. Thats all that matters, Bellona said, turning her head to kiss his neck. I will stop Rita. I have to now. If this was just about you, I could have gone easier on her, but I have a duty… She made a frustrated sound.

What is it? What duty? Rafael pressed gently.

Do you know the story of the rape of the Sabine women? The new settlers of Rome needed women to help populate it, so they kidnapped them from a tribe called the Sabines.

Im Roman, Bellona. Of course I know the story, he said, his fingers moving in gentle circles over her side and stomach, needing to reassure himself that she had healed.

I was born, for lack of a better word, because they cried for help. For justice. I am a goddess of war, but there is another side of me. Set reminded me of it. I have always done what I could to look after the women and those who cant defend themselves in mens wars for glory and power. Its my… she struggled to find the right word. Duty? Destiny? Obligation? All of them, maybe. Rita is trading in the suffering of those who cant defend themselves. For that, I have to stop her. I have to try and find those she has traded and free them. Its not just about your bounty anymore.

Rafael wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. I understand. You will be careful, wont you? Youll do everything you can to come back to me?

Bellona turned so she could look at him with her depthless, ancient eyes. I promise. I came back to you with half my side missing, didnt I?

Rafael kissed her forehead. Yes, you did. Can I ask you a question?

Of course you can. I might even answer it, she said, a glimmer of her usual self coming out.

Why is your safe code my birthday?

Bellona didnt look at him, and he thought she wouldnt answer him. Finally, she said, Its a date I wont forget. Its not easy for someone like me to realize they are obsessed with a mortal they hardly know.

You thought about me too?

All the time. Bellonas fingers linked with his. I really did think I was doing the right thing by staying away. You were so young and had so much life ahead of you. I thought you would be married and surrounded by kids by now. I suppose I was scared to look you up too.

Scared? Bellona, you are a goddess of war. You charge into fights and rescue people from bad guys. Theres no way you are scared of me, Rafael argued.

Scared for you, maybe. Have you not read any of the myths? Mortals who get involved with gods rarely have a good time. Being a part of our world will change you. It will endanger you. Bellonas grip on him tightened. I was also scared if I saw you again, I wouldnt be able to let you go.

Rafael could barely breathe. And now that you have, how are you feeling?

No different. If you wanted to leave, Id find a way to deal with it. It wouldnt be pretty, but I would find a way.

Rafael turned her face towards him so he could look into her eyes. I dont want you to let me go. Ive never stopped thinking about you or wondering where you were and what happened to you. No one and nothing felt right. Once Rita is dealt with, I dont want you vanishing on me again.

I wont, Bellona said and cupped his cheek with her wet hand. I cant change what I am. Stitching me up and waiting for me to heal might be a common occurrence.

I can handle it. Just come back to me once youre done saving people and killing bad guys, he replied.

Relief rushed over Bellonas face, and Rafael could do nothing but close the distance between them and kiss her.