Track 17 Let You Love Me

I wake the next morning in the bed in the guest suite.

Disappointment.

That's the first thing I feel.

Why didn't Rafe take me to his bed? Why did he deposit me here and then… leave me to sleep alone? I would have thought after what happened last night, not just between me and Rafe, but at the restaurant, at least one of them would have slept with me.

But then I remember Liam confirming that this time they spend with me is about sex, about them bedding me, fucking me, getting me out of their system.

The disappointment doesn't fade, but now I understand why I'm sleeping alone. This isn't about cuddles and a genuine relationship. Still, I wouldn't mind waking up next to a member of the Cordova pack. But maybe they think differently.

I mean, obviously they do, or I wouldn't be here alone .

Feeling a little dejected and depressed, I climb out of bed and rifle through my bag until I find my spiral-bound notebook with a pen hooked into the binding. I'm not ready to face the pack yet, not after they left me to sleep alone. Not after their ex attacked me in the bathroom and started dragging me down the hall toward the back exit.

I should have fought harder, but I was just so shocked. All my worst fears came true in that one moment. Being ridiculed for how I don't fit in with them, the reality that they've done this before, and fear of the blowback from everyone when people realize the Cordova pack is with me… Well, not ‘ with me' with me, but you get it.

Once I realized who he was—Patrick Burrows, a beta the pack dumped a few months back—I was stunned. Add in that he had a knife and was clearly high, and I didn't dare do anything but what he wanted. Some part of me knew Rafe would come for me, knew they would.

I never imagined it would be the sweet omega who went feral on the beta, though.

Too full of emotions and twisting thoughts, I climb back into bed and flip to a blank page in my notebook; I spend the next hour scribbling song lyrics, humming melodies to myself, trying to work out what I'm feeling so that I can face the Cordovas with my usual sunny smile.

This has always been my coping mechanism.

By the time a knock sounds on the door, I'm feeling oceans better, the song that formed helping to work through some of my angst. I curl my lips into its normal smile and shove the notebook under the pillow before calling, "Come in."

The door opens a moment later, revealing Gray in a sharp light blue button up and charcoal gray slacks. His dark hair is styled, and it's obvious that he's already well into his day. I, on the other hand, am still a mess.

He doesn't seem to care, though, striding over to the bed carrying a long box. He slides the item onto the bedside table before perching on the edge of the mattress by my hip. One of his hands smooths my hair back—apparently I didn't do a good enough job of it myself—then brushes against the bruise I know is on my cheek.

"How are you feeling this morning, sweet thing?"

Nuzzling into his palm, I sigh. "I'm fine. Good. Better than I was last night, that's for sure."

He frowns and runs the tip of his finger over my cheekbone. "I'm sorry this happened to you, Sorrel. We should have done a better job-"

"No." I shake my head and force a smile to my lips. "No. This isn't your fault. And besides, I'm fine. Nothing really happened. He mostly just scared me."

The frown deepens. "Him scaring you isn't okay either, Sorrel. He never should have gotten within twenty feet of you."

I want to argue, more to reassure him I actually am fine, to ease his worry over me, but I can tell that he won't let me just sweep this under the rug. "Will I need to give a statement to the police?"

He shakes his head and leans forward to brush his cheek along my uninjured one, marking me with his scent. "No, the restaurant has security cameras all over the place, so we were able to see everything he did once you were out of the bathroom. He'll spend at least a few years in jail."

I don't know if I should be relieved or confused. The last thing I want is to speak to the police, to relive the previous night, but I don't see how they can lock him up if I don't give a statement. I'm the victim, the one who would press charges.

Gray cups my face again, brushes his lips over my forehead. "We handled it, sweet thing. You don't need to worry about it."

"Okay," I sigh, leaning up to take his mouth with mine. I'm momentarily stunned by my audacity, but it fades when he moans and angles his head to slant his lips over mine, deepening the kiss.

One hand plants on the bed by my hip as he leans farther over me, his other arm looping around my back to tug me into him, until my breasts brush against his chest, making my nipples pebble. Feeling the hard nubs, he groans and pulls his mouth away from mine, but he doesn't go far, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck and taking a deep inhale.

"If we keep kissing like that…" He nips my skin. "I'm gonna have to fuck you, Sorrel. My alpha is practically demanding it."

My hands creep up his arms, over his shoulders until I cup his neck, both palms pressing into the thick column. I use my grip to pull him back, look up at his face. "I'm okay with that, if you are." Who even am I?

I'm never this forward with men.

Ever.

You're someone who is making the most of this opportunity, squirreling away memories of your time with this pack so you can pull them out later.

He stares at me for a moment, likely trying to figure out if I'm too injured or upset from last night. If he'd be taking advantage. Maybe Rafe didn't tell him what we got up to last night? But I could have sworn I heard Gray and Liam come home before we were finished. Surely they heard us. I certainly wasn't quiet.

And neither was Rafe, for that matter.

Nerves trickle in the longer he considers me. I shake my head. "Never mind. I didn't- you obviously aren't ready for that yet. So we can just stop with the kissing and… everything."

Gray huffs, and I'm not sure if it's a sound of amusement or annoyance, but a second later he leans over and kisses me again. "I don't want to stop kissing and everything," he murmurs to my lips. "But I brought you something."

Frowning, I straighten away from him, my gaze sliding to the box on my bedside table. "I thought I told you to stop bringing me gifts. It's excessive. I don't need them. I'm just happy to be here with you."

His expression goes so freaking tender, it makes my heart ache. "I know, sweet thing. You've made that clear. But this," he taps the top of the box. "Is actually a gift for all of us."

He leans back to make room for the box between us, and then pulls off the lid with a flourish, leaving me blinking down at the contents.

A velvet-lined box with… "Are those dildos?"

I can't help the disappointment in my voice, because I'd thought he was going to fuck me… with his own cock and not a toy.

Gray chuckles, plants a hand by my hip as he leans over to steal a kiss from my lips. "Don't worry, sweet thing, I have every intention of impaling you on my cock. But to answer your question, yes. These are dildos. But not just ordinary ones."

I frown down at them, trying to figure out what makes them different. There are five of them, ranging from pale lavender to deep purple, each one progressively bigger than the last, until there's one so big I'm fairly certain I'll never use it, because it would split me in half. But other than that… "They look normal."

Gray kisses me again and then picks up the smallest of the five, bringing it between our bodies.

"Rafe informed me you begged him to knot you last night. That you almost forced it." His tone is gently chiding. "You almost hurt yourself."

I flush a bright red, remembering it, the urgency, the need. The feeling like he might be missing something, not enjoy sex as much with me if he couldn't knot.

It wouldn't be the first time an alpha had told me as much after sex with me.

And the disappointment when he denied me. Looking back, he was one hundred percent right to do that. Betas aren't meant to take a knot. I've never even been tempted to try with any of the alphas I've slept with in the past. Knots are for omegas.

But that feeling that he'd be missing out, that he wouldn't enjoy it without knotting, that need to please him, that is what drove my actions. I had a similar response when I was with Gage.

I look down and run a finger along a seam in the blanket. "I did. But it wouldn't have worked. I'm a beta. I'm not designed to do that." My fake smile feels more brittle than normal, but I force it anyway. "Besides, you guys have Liam-"

He cuts me off with another kiss.

"You can't take a knot now , sweet thing, but that doesn't mean you can't take one in the future."

Aqua meets gray as I look up at him, surprised. "What?"

Holding my gaze, he clicks something on the dildo, and my eyes drop when it whirs. Before my eyes, the base of the dildo inflates into a small knot. Tiny really, not anywhere near the knot on a real alpha cock. A training knot.

"Each one of these has three different size settings," Gray explains, clicking something again, and the knot gets a little bigger. "We can use them to stretch you, get you prepped to take our knots, if you would like that." His hoarse tone of voice tells me he would like that very much and I feel an answering heated clench between my thighs at the idea of it.

But I still ask, "Is that something you want?"

A low laugh. "So fucking much, sweet thing. The idea of locking you onto my cock as I spill inside of you repeatedly? Yeah, I fucking love that idea. There's no better feeling for an alpha."

I have the brief thought that he's done this with other betas. Started the process of stretching them, training them. I frown and look at the box. "Are these… have you used these before?"

His thumb and forefinger grip my chin and tip it until I meet his eyes again. "I won't lie and tell you I haven't—we haven't—done this with betas before. We have, Sorrel. Many times." My frown deepens. Gray kisses it gently, rubbing his mouth back and forth over mine. "But I will say, I haven't wanted to sink my knot into someone as badly as you since I met Liam." He taps the box with one finger. "These are new. I wouldn't disrespect you by using used toys on you, sweet thing."

I swallow thickly and nod. "Thank you."

He eyes me with heat in his gaze. "Do you want to try the first level, Sorrel?"

My cheeks flame a bright red and I have to look away from him right at the box of perfectly spaced dildos. I'm pretty sure I do. Even if I don't use this new skill with the Cordova pack, if they decide they don't want me before I'm to the point of being able to take a knot, then I can find my own set and keep going alone, so I can take Gage's knot.

I shiver at the thought of that, and nod slowly. "Yes. I think I do."

He pinches my chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilts my head back to look at him. "You think you do, or you know you do?"

I take a deep breath and then say, "I know it."

His grin is wolfish. "Good girl."

A shiver makes goosebumps freckle my skin as he bends carefully at his waist and kisses me softly. "Can I undress you, sweet thing?"

I nod.

"Words, Sorrel. I need your words."

"Yes, Gray, you can undress me."

Another kiss as his hand leaves my face to hook into the hem of my shirt. His mouth leaves mine only to tug the fabric up and over my head and then he's kissing me again, his tongue coaxing my mouth open to lick against mine.

He growls and presses me down until my back hits the mattress, and he's stretched out next to me. His lips never leave mine. Grayson Cordova kisses me like he's learning the shape of my teeth, my tongue, my lips. He leaves no part of my mouth untouched, untasted. He kisses me like he has all the time in the world to do so, and there is no place he would rather be than right there with his lips connected to mine.

I could almost believe he wants to keep me.

I push the thought away as he strokes one hand down the center of my chest to the waistband of my shorts, hooking one finger under the elastic and running it back and forth. "May I?" His voice is a low growl that sends another shiver of excitement over me.

"Yes," I say, sounding far too husky. "Please do."

He smirks at me and kisses me again, before pressing up to kneel next to me, giving himself space to peel the fabric down my hips and off my body all together. Then he leans back on his heels and runs his hungry gray gaze over every inch of my exposed skin.

"Fuck," he says, sounding awed. "You're so fucking beautiful, Sorrel. Better than anything my imagination could come up with."

I fight the embarrassment that wants to swamp me, because he can't possibly mean that. Not with the women he and his pack have been with. I know for a fact they've been connected to at least three lingerie models who are all curvy, perfectly formed examples of the female form. And I can't imagine that I'm better than them.

I know I'm not.

Gray doesn't seem bothered by my silence as he reaches for the first dildo in the box. I frown as he positions himself between my legs, still fully clothed. "Are you not…" Gray eyes flick up to meet mine.

"Am I not what, sweet thing?"

"You're still wearing all of your clothes."

He nods. "I am. This is about you, about training your body to take an alpha, take their knot. I'm worried if I get naked I'll forget what we're doing, how important it is for your health and safety. With my clothes on, I'll at least have a few moments to try to remember that before I impale you on my cock."

My thighs try to squeeze together at his words, but he's between them, so instead they just flex against his shoulders. A smirk curls his lips. "You like that, little beta? The idea of me losing control and pounding into you, using you for my own pleasure?"

I whimper. He growls.

"Let's see just how much, hmm?" I shiver as a finger trails through my folds, tickling over my clit, but not giving me any of the friction my body is craving, then down to my core, carefully sliding inside me, slowly. So slowly.

I moan and so does he. "Fuck, Sorrel. I thought we might need to use lube for this, but you're soaked, aren't you?"

I nod. "Yes."

"Is this all for me, sweet thing? Do I turn you on that much?" He pulls his finger out and then slowly slides it back in again.

"Yes, Gray, alpha. I'm so wet for you. All for you." I'm already babbling and he's hardly even touched me. I have no doubt by the time Gray is done with ‘training' me, my brain will be nothing more than blissed out goo.

It only gets worse when he pulls his finger out of my clenching channel and sucks it into his mouth, gray eyes burning into me as he licks my essence off his skin like a starving man. "You taste as good as Liam does, Sorrel. You sure you aren't an omega?"

My chest clenches, and there's a momentary cooling of my arousal at his words. I know he meant nothing by it, but I can't help the ache that forms in my chest that I'm not an omega. That I can't just take his knot without this, without training my body, stretching it to accommodate them. I wish I could. I wish I could do that for them, but that's why they have Liam. He's their omega. And I'm filling a different role.

Which, I'm still not even sure what that is. What they want from me.

"No, I'm a beta," I say with my chin tipping up, almost defiantly. Like I'm daring him to decide I'm not worth the time he's going to spend on this, on giving me a chance to take him inside my body completely.

He stares at me for a moment, finger still in his mouth, before his gaze softens and he leans over me, bracing one hand on the bed next to my head, holding his weight so he can bend down to kiss me, letting me taste myself on his tongue, faint though the flavor may be.

"That you are," he murmurs to my lips. "And a perfect one at that."

Perfect. He doesn't mean it.

I know he doesn't. But it doesn't stop the word for hooking into my heart and yanking painfully.

"Now," he says gently. "Shall we start your training, little beta?"

I give a jerky nod and his eyes narrow. Words, Sorrel. I need your words. "Yes, alpha."

He smiles, and it's blinding. "Good girl."

In a flash, he's back, kneeling between my legs. He looks up at me. "You've taken an alpha before?"

"Yes."

"Gage?"

"Most recently."

An unhappy sound rumbles from him, when really I should be the one to be unhappy with this line of questioning.

"There have been others?"

I press up onto my elbows to glare down at him. "What's with the third degree? I'm twenty-five years old, Gray. It shouldn't surprise you that I've had sex."

He takes a deep breath through his nose and then blows it out. "You're right. I just momentarily lost my mind thinking of some other alpha, some other pack , enjoying what is ours."

I frown and open my mouth to tell him that Gage isn't going anywhere, not if I have anything to say about it, and if Gray can't handle that, then we'll need to reassess the situation, but at that moment, he hunches down, closes his mouth over my clit and sucks. Hard.

Any words I was planning on uttering come out garbled and moaned. Complete nonsense.

My head hits the mattress as my legs fall open farther, giving him better access. Gray makes a noise of approval, rumbling against my clit and my hand laces through his silky hair, gripping it because, well, I need to hold on to something.

"That's it, baby," he growls. "Ride my face. Pull my fucking hair, show me where you need me."

My hips roll up, grinding into his mouth. From the sound he makes, he doesn't mind in the slightest. I feel him shift, his shoulders brushing against my thighs and then, with no warning at all, the smallest of the training dildos thrusts inside of me. I scream, a hoarse, raspy sound.

Gray chuckles and kisses my thigh as he slowly retracts the silicone cock. "Gonna make you come, sweet thing. Gonna make you gush and then we'll give you your first knot. Okay?"

"Yes. Yes, please."

His teeth nip skin, trailing his mouth back to my clit, and he thrusts the toy into me again.

It doesn't take long. Not with his tongue on me, not with the fake dick thrusting in and out of me hitting a spot so deep inside of me it makes my toes curl, not with his delicious citrus and clove scent lying thick in the air, not with the noises he rumbles into me, the praise that falls from his lips. The heat and pressure in my core coils tighter and tighter until it snaps.

My back arches. I cry out his name as I yank on his hair. A weird sensation follows on its heels, one I've never felt before, but I can't be bothered to be too worried about it.

Until…

A gush of warmth suddenly soaks the bed under me, and it only takes my lust filled mind a second to register it, before I make a horrified noise and throw myself away from Grayson and off the mattress, the toy, not even partially inflated, slipping from between my legs to land on the floor with a thump.

Embarrassment burns hot in my cheeks as I throw myself into the en suite and kick the door shut behind me. I should lock it, I have the vague thought, but my body is already moving, shoving back the shower curtain and flipping on the water, climbing in before it gets warm because I need to cool my fucking embarrassment before I have to face this situation like an adult…

But I'm really not sure how I'm supposed to do that.

Not when I… Not when he… oh, my god. I'm going to have to flee the country, aren't I? This is it. It's not Stephen Stillwell bullying me away from my business. It's this moment right goddamn here. I either flee the country or die of embarrassment.

I'm scrubbing between my thighs, when a tentative knock sounds on the door. "Sweet thing ? Is everything okay?"

I let out a choked half sob, half laugh, before I make myself answer. "Yep. Everything's fine. Just… dying of embarrassment. Hope you have a good clean-up crew to hide my body."

It's a dumb joke, I know it. Grayson knows it. Everyone knows it.

He clears his throat. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's completely natural-"

"Nothing to be embarrassed about?" I shriek, hands tightening on the loofa. "I peed on you!"

A bark of laughter is his response, which really just solidifies my embarrassment. "My little sweet beta , I'm coming in."

I could tell him not to, could demand that he leave me alone, but I'm pretty sure he won't listen, anyway. A moment later, the glass door opens, and he climbs in behind me. I make a point of not turning to face him, letting the hot water pound on my chest, hands still gripping the loofa like it's a life vest. Grayson doesn't seem the least bit concerned though, stepping right into my space until I feel his hard cock between my ass cheeks and his chest against my back. He reaches around and dislodges my fingers from the loofa, hanging it on its little hook, before he curls his body around mine.

His lips brush the shell of my ear. "You didn't pee on me, Sorrel. You squirted."

I blink. "I-What?"

Grayson trails his mouth down my throat, nipping, kissing, licking. "You squirted. All that liquid that gushed out of you wasn't urine, it was cum. So much fucking delicious cum." He grinds his cock against my ass, groaning.

I'm finding it hard to breathe, the embarrassment fading, melting under the weight of new arousal. "I've never done that before," I mutter, as his hands wander, smoothing over the skin of my belly, teasing over my mound, but not quite touching.

"I gathered." His teeth clamp onto the curve where my shoulder meets my neck and my legs nearly give out as my clit throbs. He licks the spot and then trails his mouth back up to my ear. "Tasted so fucking sweet. I wanted to lick it all up. But now you've washed it all down the drain. I'm going to have to punish you for that, I think."

The rush of cool air along my back takes me by surprise, as does the hand between my shoulder blades, pushing me forward. "Bend over for me, sweet thing."

I'm already folding in half, urged on by his firm hands. He's still behind me, just back a bit, staring at my ass as he smooths his hand up and down my back. "Hands on the tile. Good girl," he purrs when I immediately comply.

I whimper when his hand slides down my spine and over the curve of my ass. "Say stop at any time, sweet thing," he murmurs. "And I stop."

A shiver works over me even in the heat of the water. "Everything? Or just my punishment?"

A low chuckle surrounds me, makes my toes curl into the tile with how lustful it is. "Oh, you aren't getting out of me fucking you, Sorrel."

I nod and brace myself against the wall. "Good." Then I glance over my shoulder and meet his eyes. "Proceed."

Another of those low dirty laughs, as he goes back to stroking my ass. "I think five on each cheek. What do you think, sweet thing?"

I push my forehead into the tile and murmur, "whatever you think is best, alpha."

A low groan bordering on a growl rumbles from him, along with the words, "good fucking girl, giving yourself over to your alpha. Acknowledging that I know what's best."

I open my mouth to agree with him, but a gasp falls from my mouth as his palm strikes my right ass cheek. Immediately, he rubs over it to soothe the sting. "Count for me, sweet thing," he urges.

"One," I whimper and am rewarded with a second smack. "Two." This time he messages the ache and then dips lower, his finger playing through the slick mess between my thighs.

"I knew you were fucking perfect, Sorrel," he murmurs, working his thick digit inside me, stroking twice before pulling out and spanking me twice more in quick succession.

"Three, four," I moan, back arching more, offering my ass up to him. Or maybe it's my pussy, because he soothes the ache and then slides two fingers inside me. A pleased noise hums from him as my inner muscles clamp down.

"Look at you," he murmurs against my shoulder. "So eager to be punished and fucked." I can't even deny it. I was aroused before, but now I'm on fucking fire. I need him to fuck me, to give me release. I need… I need… I need… him.

Them.

God.

I need them so much it's terrifying.

Two more spanks have me moaning and writhing, needing release like I've never felt before. "Please, alpha," I whine. "Please. I need to come."

"No coming," he growls at me. "Not until every inch of me is inside you. Not until I can feel you grip my cock so fucking tight."

I bite back the urge to tell him it won't be every inch of him. Because even though he'll give me his cock, he won't give me his knot.

He already knows that, and it doesn't negate his need to be inside me when I come.

"Count, Sorrel."

"Five, Six."

He rewards me with two fingers in my wet pussy, thrusting hard and fast, like he wants to get me to the edge and then keep me there.

Smack.

"Seven."

Smack.

"Eight. Gray, please !"

"Almost done, sweet thing. Almost there and then I'm gonna fuck you so good." He sounds as ragged as I feel, on edge, about to explode. "Two more."

Smack, smack.

"Nine. Ten."

No sooner has the word left my mouth than I'm spun, hoisted and braced against the cool tile, with my legs fold around his hips. He thrusts into me hard, filling me completely, and so roughly that my head bounces against the tile.

"Shit," he curses. But rather than slowing down and fucking me more gently, he slides his hand up to cup the back of my head, protecting it from the wall as he continues to pound into me. "You did so good. So fucking good, little beta. Look at you taking every inch of me. Spreading those thick thighs of yours wide to let me fuck you. It's what you need, isn't it?" he croons. "Need your alpha to fuck you hard and dirty, to make you come."

"Yes," I cry out, hand slipping over his wet skin, trying to gain purchase to help take him deeper, harder. More.

"Good girl. Good girl. Good girl," he chants with every impaling thrust. "My good fucking girl."

The possessive tint to his words makes my toes curl, my head toss back, as moans and sighs and whimpers all from my lips. He leans forward, swallowing each noise down as his tongue plunders my mouth. The hand cradling my head slides down to grip my hip, my thigh hard enough that I think I might bruise and I love it. Love that bite, that ache as he grinds against me.

"Fuck," he mutters to my lips. "Fuck. It's too soon. I want to keep fucking you for hours."

I open my mouth to tell him he can. I'm more than willing to let him, but then I feel it. The swelling at the base of his cock, the thick bulb of his knot that tells me he's close.

I moan when it grinds into my clit, and he nips my lips in response. "You gonna come on my cock, Sorrel?"

I nod frantically. "Yes, alpha. Yes ."

Another curse from him as he releases one of my legs to reach between us and wrap his hand around his knot, keeping himself from thrusting too far in. But also squeezing it in how I know he needs, pulsing his fingers around it.

For some reason, that makes me… angry. Furious. I want to be the one to do that for him, to wring pleasure from his knot, to feel it swell and jerk and pulse with every lash of his cum filling me.

I knock his hand away and replace it with my own. My reward is a loud groaned, "oh, fuck, yes. Squeeze it just like that. Tighter. Yes. Fuck. Yes. Gonna fill you up, little beta. Gonna fucking breed you."

My breathing stutters out at his heated declaration, at the immediate image of me dripping with cum, with all of their cum, and then my belly swollen with a growing life.

I come hard. So hard that I lose vision temporarily. So hard that I scream his name. So hard that my inner muscles clamp down tight enough on Gray that he loses his rhythm, hips stalling out with his cock buried deep inside me. His fingers close around mine, squeezing his knot tighter as he throws his head back, an animalistic roar reverberating around the shower. His knot swells even more and then pulses, the hot lash of his seed spilling inside me repeatedly, as his hips jerk and grind against me, our hands keeping him from filling me completely. Keeping him from knotting like I know he wants to.

His fingers tighten and release around mine, helping me urge more and more of his cum from him, until it spills out of me, smearing my thighs and his hips, dripping onto the shower floor to be washed away.

As he releases my hand and his knot, he lets out a weary sounding breath, his forehead dropping to my shoulder, before he nuzzles into my neck. "So fucking good," he murmurs to my skin, teeth scraping over my pulse point.

My hands stroke over his broad shoulders, down his back, into his wet hair. His cock softens, and he slips out of me, a gush of our combined arousal spilling to the floor. He doesn't set me down like I expect. Instead, he leans back just slightly, watching as his cum drips out of me, his expression heated and awed all at once. "God, that is so fucking sexy," he mutters. "The only thing that could make it better is if Rafe and Liam's seed were spilling out of you, too."

My hips tilt slightly and my inner muscles clench, giving away how much I like the idea of that. He watches it all, before he slowly drags his eyes up my body to meet my gaze with burning intensity.

"Join our pack."