3. Chapter Three

The flush that heated her skin from scalp to toes appeared as soon as she woke up, persisted through her shower and getting dressed, and seemed to only get worse as she made her way into the living room.

Her gaze darted around the space, ready to run back to her room if he was there. How could she face him after last night?

Her body heated in a different way just thinking about it.

She’d seen plenty of penises. Her sex self-education included a lot of porn. She’d thought those men would be above average, but maybe they weren’t? Just the idea of being speared by Behemoth’s cock made her faint. In fear or pleasure, she wasn’t sure.

He was huge… everywhere.

She fanned herself with a hand and then gave up. She’d have to crawl into the freezer to cool herself off from the embarrassment and the desire. She’d thought she wanted to jump his bones before. Now it was like a persistent, annoying, hot as fuck earworm she couldn’t get rid of.

The cure for an earworm was to listen to the song, right? Maybe the cure for her insistent clit squirm was sex with him. She shivered as her skin tightened at the thought.

What was she thinking? Even if she weren’t one big hot mess of trouble, she wasn’t the fearless woman she pretended to be. Not where this was concerned, anyway. She was ready to bolt rather than look him in the eyes this morning.

It would be awkward. It had to be. They had touched themselves while staring directly at each other.

She groaned and rolled her eyes. Why couldn’t she be the confident, sex-positive woman her friends thought she was? It was so much easier to encourage someone else to do the thing, grab what they wanted by the (sometimes literal) balls.

She peeked around the corner into the living room and felt like she’d fall in a puddle of goo. Boneless, now that she could see he wasn’t there.

She risked a furtive glance at his bedroom door, but it was closed.

She refused to be disappointed.

She slunk into the kitchen, her confident aura broken and discarded like her shoes. Every creak made her jump, every rustle of leaves outside had her scanning the room.

Moving as quietly as she could, she located the coffee pods and loaded one into the maker. She looked over the neatly labeled breakfast selections housekeeper Lois had left for him and then abandoned the idea of eating altogether. She was so nervous she’d probably throw up at his first grunt.

Would he walk in with a swagger like he knew he was hot? Some of the men who’d tried to date her acted like God’s gift to women, and she was positive they didn’t have anything near what Behemoth was packing to back it up.

He didn’t seem like that type, but she was no expert at picking which men were jerks and which weren’t.

She fixed her coffee with cream and sugar and stepped onto the back patio. The air was still chilly, but spring was just around the corner.

It never snowed this far south, but it did get cold. She welcomed the cool air on her skin. Maybe what she needed was a cold shower. Or a swim in the river.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Aside from her tumultuous mind, it was peaceful here.

A blanket was wrapped around her shoulders from behind and she jumped a foot and dropped her mug which shattered and threw hot coffee onto her bare feet. She spun and smacked the wall of chest behind her with her palm.

“Damn it, Bee.” She moved to step around him and back inside to wipe off her legs, but her foot found a shard of porcelain and she yelped.

Somehow, he wrapped her in the blanket and lifted her into his arms in one smooth move. He set her on the couch and frowned at her foot.

“Stay.”

She looked at him sideways and waved her hand at her foot, the duh, dumbass clearly written on her face.

His brows slashed down before he opened a kitchen cabinet and took out a huge first aid kit. By the time he kneeled in front of her and took her foot in his hands, she’d picked the shard out of the cut.

His touch was whisper soft as he cleaned and inspected the wound. She wished he’d left the patio door open. She could use the chilly breeze.

“I’m sorry.”

Her heart tripped a beat. He was apologizing? In her experience, powerful men didn’t apologize. In their world, they were never wrong. What did he have to apologize for?

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you might be cold. I just wanted to bring you a blanket.”

She gave him a shaky smile. “It’s okay. I startle easily, and I didn’t expect you to be up so early.”

“That stands to reason.”

Heat bloomed from the top of her head to her chest. Did he think she thought he’d sleep in because he orgasmed the night before? She was beginning to understand the large education gap that existed from learning about sex primarily from porn. She had no idea how to behave normally before or after sexy times.

She couldn’t exactly pop up and say “Thanks for watching me masturbate, that was totally hot,” and roll credits.

“If I’d been followed by a cult member, I’d startle easily, too.”

He looked up to give her a small smile, and she wished she could crawl under a rock. He wasn’t being weird about it. He wasn’t even talking about it. It was no big deal. She could do this. She could carry on a conversation without making it awkward.

He placed her foot on the plush rug and let his hand linger on her ankle. The warmth of his fingers grew a nerve that linked his touch to her clit. She yanked her foot back, and hit her heel on the couch support.

He stood, and she craned her neck to keep eye contact. He really was massive. It struck her that even being the largest man she’d ever known, he didn’t scare her. Quite the opposite, actually, he made her feel safe.

Maybe he was the perfect person to fill in those educational gaps. Could she? Did she dare? Thoughts swirled like a hurricane and he caught her off guard when he spoke.

“What would you like to do today?”

“I’m a virgin!”

Behemoth blinked and took a deep breath, trying to inhale calm. Unfortunately, his snoot was too good and he got a lungful of the scent of her arousal. He kept himself rigid, locking every muscle.

After the outburst, she looked at him in panic. Her eyes darted around the room and he knew if he moved a finger she would bolt.

It took him a minute to parse what she’d said, but his bear roared in triumph. She was his, in every way. It was complete caveman mentality, but the bear (and, let’s be honest, the man) loved that no one had given her what he would.

“Okay.” He finally answered her in a low, calm voice.

“Oh my god.” She buried her face in her hands. “Can you… can you back up a bit?”

He took two big steps back and sank to his knees to make himself smaller.

She didn’t uncover her face, but he watched her chest rise and fall in rapid pants.

“It’s okay.” He needed her to calm down and talk to him before she hyperventilated. “Just breathe.”

She shook her head, her hair whipping around her face. “You don’t understand.” She pulled her feet onto the couch and hugged her knees. “I’m supposed to be the bold friend. The one who knows all these things about sex, and my entire experience is based on porn.” She laughed at herself. “I snuck around this morning because I was too embarrassed to see you.” She looked into his eyes and the tears welling there broke his heart. “I’m a fraud.”

“No. Even if you lack experience, you don’t lack knowledge.”

She scoffed and gave him side-eye.

“Book smarts are still smarts.” He tried again.

Internally, he was still rejoicing. This explained her distance from him. The hesitation he felt from her. It wasn’t disinterest, it was embarrassment.

He also gave himself a swift kick in the mental pants. How stupid was he not to realize?

“I don’t want book smarts!” She glared up at him. “I want practical knowledge. I’m just too chicken to get it!”

He scoffed right back at her, even though it was more of a grunt. “Nothing about you is cowardly, Gaelynn.”

She snorted.

“Really. I can’t think of many people who could have an honest conversation about a topic that embarrasses them like this.”

She groaned and let her head fall back against the couch. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“What, exactly, is it you want?” Please say him. Please say him.

She lifted her head, looked him dead in the eyes, and said, “I want to be the person my friends think I am.”

Okay, he could work with that. “What do you think she does that you don’t?”

“She has sex.”

He let his butt fall to the floor. He didn’t need her staring at the growing erection in his pants during this conversation. “What I’m hearing is that you want to have sex.”

She nodded and he saw her swallow. “With you.”

Hallelujah. He had started getting worried she might ask him to teach her for someone else. “Okay.” He grinned at her, but took it down a notch when her eyes went wide. For all her bravado in other areas, she was a frightened rabbit when it came to this. “We go at your pace. You say what, where, and when. If you want to stop, we stop. Deal?”

She took a deep, shaky breath and slowly exhaled. “Deal.”

He stood and turned for the kitchen but stopped when she squeaked.

“Right now?”

“I thought I’d make some breakfast, but if you want…”

“Yes.” She shook her head. “No.” Her hands flew up and covered her face. “I mean, ugh. I want it to be natural, you know? This feels so… clinical.”

“Okay, how about I just kiss you good morning?”

She peeked between her fingers. “Like a normal couple?”

“Yes.” He stomped on his chest so it didn’t swell at her calling them a couple.

“Okay.” She shook out her hands and rolled her neck. “I can do this. Let’s do this.”

He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. She was just so damn cute. He held his hand out to her and she put her much smaller one in his. He pulled her up, into his arms, like she weighed nothing. He wrapped one hand securely under her butt and the other cradled the back of her head.

She let out a soft puff of breath. “Oh.”

“Good morning,” he rumbled. He pressed his lips to hers and just held her. It didn’t take long for her to angle her head and lick at his bottom lip.

He deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue along hers while keeping mindful to go slow. His body rebelled at the pace, screaming at him to lower her to the couch and bury himself in her.

After several moments, he pulled back and put his forehead against hers while he caught his breath. He loosened his hold and slid her to her feet.

She grinned up at him. “Good morning.”

“Do you want pancakes and sausage, or eggs and bacon?”

“Pancakes and sausage.”

“Orange juice or coffee?”

She giggled. “Seeing as my coffee ended up mostly on the ground, I’d like coffee.”

He got to work, pulling out the stack of pancakes Lois always left him and some sausage from the freezer. He wasn’t a skilled cook, but he could reheat with the best of them.

Gaelynn was fidgeting in her seat when he placed a plate piled high in front of her. She kept sneaking glances at him, opening her mouth and shutting it.

“What is it?” He leaned against the counter and waited.

“Um…” She darted her eyes around the room. “How do I ask? For things? Without it being weird?” She laughed. “Weirder, I mean. It’s already awkward and embarrassing.”

She didn’t waffle, hem and haw, or defer to him when expressing her wishes for breakfast, and an idea struck him. “How about you pretend you’re in a spa ordering services you want?”

She choked on a bite of pancake and gulped her coffee to clear her throat. “Like, I’d like to try the cunnilingus special, please?”

He grinned. “Yes, exactly like that.”

She shook her head. “No one actually does that.”

“You do. You can. With me. There’s no wrong or right way to go about this.”

She sighed. “It all looks so easy on screen.”

“You aren’t seeing all the work that goes on behind the scenes. They have a script, they have a director telling them what to do, they have camera operators telling them where their limbs need to be. I’d bet even the videos listed as ‘amateur’ have had multiple takes and edits to end up looking the way they do.”

She was nodding. “You’re probably right.”

He cocked his head. “Did you only watch porn?”

“I watched movies people on the internet said were sexy, but they weren’t very instructional.”

“You never read a romance novel?”

“No, why?”

He shook his head at her. His mom was a big fan of romances, and he’d snuck a few as a horny teenager. They focus on the female perspective, the female gaze, and cater to female pleasure. Porn focuses on the male gaze and caters to what men find sexy.”

“That makes sense.”

“I have a couple if you’d like to read one.” He laughed when she looked shocked. “My mom likes them. Sometimes she leaves them behind after a visit.” He smirked at her. “Consider it homework.”

She grinned. “I can get behind that kind of homework.”

She berated herself for not thinking of romance novels before. They’d just never come up in the time she’d been out of the cult, and she was too young to be aware of them before that.

Behemoth was right, though. The book he’d chosen for her to read was not only fantastic, it was also super sexy. It definitely appealed to her more than ninety percent of the porn she’d watched.

She tore through the novel, stopping only to grab lunch. Behemoth had been in his office most of the day. She could hear him on the phone, or clicking away at his computer, which left her free to read.

She looked up from the last page to find it was dark outside. She wasn’t the fastest reader, and she had stopped often to highlight a passage or jot down a note.

She still felt awkward as hell, and embarrassed beyond belief, but Behemoth had been so sweet about the whole thing she felt ready. More importantly, she trusted him.

She wasn’t sure why, but from the moment he first picked her up to escort her to where her two best friends were gathering, she knew she could trust him. Maybe it was the quiet he embodied. He was endlessly patient while she debated which of four pairs of shoes to take, and when she asked his opinion, he didn’t push her off by saying something like whatever she wanted. He’d looked at each, and then pointed to a pair of sensible flats.

She’d worn heels, but she was glad she had the flats with her.

He was that kind of guy. He looked out for the people around him, but he didn’t direct their choices or offer unsolicited advice. When she learned she’d be spending two weeks under his protection, she’d bristled. She wouldn’t let another man dictate her life. The reality of it had been freeing.

Sure, he’d kept her from doing things he felt were too dangerous, but everything he asked of her was reasonable. He went out of his way to give her choices when he could, and she appreciated that.

His rough cut features, size and strength made him hot, but so did his personality.

She made her way through the house to the opposite wing where his office was situated. As soon as she stopped in the doorway, she knew something was wrong.

Behemoth stood with his back to the door, staring out a window, holding his phone in a white-knuckled grip.

“No. Can’t.”

He was speaking in one-word sentences again.

She hesitated, not wanting to interrupt but too curious about what was happening to walk away.

He growled into the phone, and the hair on the back of her neck stood up. It wasn’t a sexy man growl—it legitimately sounded like a wild animal. A predator.

She must have made a sound. He turned, his eyes blazing. Whoever was on the other end was saying something he did not like. His brows slashed down and he said, “No.” This time with more force and finality.

The other person clearly wasn’t taking no for an answer. Behemoth growled again and the sound washed over her body in a shiver.

He bit out, “Fine,” and ended the call, tossing his phone onto the desk.

“Is everything okay?” She hated how weak and timid her voice sounded.

Instead of answering, he strode across the room and plunged his hand into her hair at the nape of her neck, drawing her up and forward until his lips slashed over hers.

This kiss differed from the one before. It felt desperate, as if he plundered her mouth to imprint himself on her. Like he wanted to crawl inside her skin because having her pressed against the length of his body wasn’t enough.

She was panting and wet enough to power a slip-n-slide when he pulled back.

“I have to go.”

“You’re leaving me?”

He winced at her screech.

She inhaled deeply to center herself. “Where are you going?”

“Ghost needs overwatch. I’ll be back by morning. River is on her way.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.” She’d met the badass woman at a safe house when Virginia’s criminal ex was after her. She was another member of the Superhuman Security team, and Gaelynn liked her. That didn’t mean she welcomed supervision.

Behemoth cocked his head. “She just came back from a job and is between apartments. I told her she could stay here before I knew you’d be here. Is that okay?”

“Oh.” Her building indignant anger melted away. “Of course.”

He nodded and walked to what Gaelynn thought was a closet door. She wrapped her hands around herself, feeling the loss of his heat.

He pushed on the wall next to the door and a hidden panel swung out. After punching in a series of numbers, the door clicked and swung open. Lights clicked on and she gasped, craning her head to get a better look.

It was another room. No, not a room. An armory. Three walls neatly displayed every weapon she could think of, with enormous trunks placed around the perimeter of the floor. Dozens of weapons, meticulously arranged and without a hint of dust or misuse.

“Are all of these yours?”

He chuckled. “You don’t typically keep other people’s weapons in your house.” He looked back at her and something about her face sobered him. “It’s okay, Gaelynn. They are never kept loaded, and this room is secure.”

She nodded. He pulled the longest rifle she’d ever seen from the far wall and placed it gently inside a fabric case. From one trunk, he took several boxes of ammunition and added them before zipping it closed.

She groaned and stomped her foot. His eyes jerked to her, and a slow smile spread across his lips. He stepped into her, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck, his thumb smoothing up and down as he brought his lips so close she could feel their heat against her own.

“Will you miss me?”

She moaned as his warm breath did things to her body she never imagined were possible. “You gave me homework.”

A soft, growly chuckle reverberated in his chest and she grabbed his waist to steady herself. The man really had no right to be this sinful.

“Now I have to wait to turn it in.” She moaned as he ran his nose up the side of her neck and spoke directly into her ear.

“Just think of it as delayed gratification.” He let go of her and stepped back, his eyes blazing with heat. “And do not touch that sweet pussy without me.”

She gulped and squeezed her thighs together as he swept from the house.