11. Chapter 11

She needed coffee. Copious amounts of coffee. She stumbled out of the elevator and into a kitchen full of chaos.

Behemoth shoved a mug of hot deliciousness into her hands and she damn near swooned. She sipped her coffee, allowing the bickering to serve as background noise. Behemoth leaned against the wall, sipping from his own mug.

At some point last night, he’d told her what every Supe Sec employee actually was. River being a black bear made sense. They were the clowns of the bear world and had trouble taking anything seriously. She stood on the opposite side of the kitchen, her eyes bouncing around at the others with a glint while she shoved popcorn into her mouth.

Gaelynn’s sluggish brain finally received enough caffeine to register what they were arguing about. Ghost, Wasp, Slick, and Russia all wanted to act as bait in their plan. She’d seen the latter two about at Supe Sec offices. Slick and Russia were on the second team and less experienced. Wasp and Ghost used that fact to argue for themselves instead.

Zeus finally stood up and growled. It was low, but immediate silence filled the room. Even Gaelynn felt the power, the hairs on her neck standing up.

“If you’re finished acting like toddlers, we’ll lay out a viable plan.” He turned to Slick and Russia. “You two are acting as backup. Wasp and Ghost will be on point. River will be the bait.”

“Wait, what?” Ghost’s mouth fell open and his neck got a workout bouncing his focus from Zeus to River and back again. “Why her? I’ve been on this case the longest.”

“Two reasons: from Gaelynn’s attack, we know they aren’t strangers to targeting women, and might actually prefer it. And because you’ve been on this case long enough, they may have spotted you. We can’t risk spooking them before they take the bait.”

He looked at River. “Not literally, of course.”

She grinned and shrugged. “Might be more fun if they do. I mean, if I let them carry me back to headquarters or whatever serves as their base, we might get more valuable intel.”

“She’s right.” Behemoth’s deep rumble fell around me like a warm blanket.

Zeus speared his fingers through his hair. “Maybe. Bull, work up contingencies for that option.” He pointed at River. “But it’s only an option. If anything feels off to you, trust your gut and abort.”

“Always, boss.” She winked at Gaelynn.

Who promptly snorted. She couldn’t say if River often trusted her gut, but she was quick to fight. Behemoth had told her that whether with knuckles or claws, she enjoyed getting her hands bloody.

Now that she thought about it, both of the Supe Sec medics enjoyed getting bloody. What was it with them? She shook her head. She wasn’t awake enough to ponder such things.

Her mug was refilled when it got low. It was another bit of Behemoth magic, all of which she was learning to appreciate. Magic never ending coffee mug, magic tongue, magic fingers, magic cock…”

“Gaelynn?”

She jerked her head up and realized it wasn’t the first time Zeus called her name. “Yes?”

“Are you okay with the plan?”

“The plan to stake River out like a sacrificial goat or the one where Behemoth and I hide here while y’all do the hard work? Actually, never mind. It doesn’t matter. I’m cool with both.” She smirked over the rim of her mug.

“No, the one where we spread word around town that your attack was courtesy of Matthew Sonjour.”

“Oh.” She felt Behemoth’s large hand rubbing circles on her stiff lower back. “Will he find us before we’re ready?”

“No.”

Bee’s grunted answer was all she needed. Her shoulders dropped, and her tongue unglued from the roof of her mouth. “Then yes, I’m fine with it.”

The rest of the morning passed in a blur of Gaelynn always being in the way as the others packed up and left. The plan set and in place, and all they could do now was wait for The Level to take the bait.

Zeus promised them regular updates while also telling them to relax and enjoy the mini vacation. Gaelynn didn’t know about all that, but she did squeal when she discovered the hot tub on the back deck.

By the time the last car pulled down the drive, she was bouncing on her toes. When the taillights disappeared completely, she yanked her shirt off and hopped on one foot as she shoved her pants down. Somehow, she managed to get naked by the time she hit the back door.

Behemoth’s heavy footsteps sounded behind her and she threw an exaggerated, playful “Eek!” over her shoulder. She sprinted to the steaming tub, tucked into a corner of the deck.

Her foot was on the first step when he grabbed her around the waist from behind.

“You should know better than to run from a predator.”

The low growl against the skin of her neck sent goosebumps down her arms. The bite of early morning in the spring wasn’t the only thing causing her to shiver. She leaned her head back on his shoulder. “I thought I was supposed to lie down for a grizzly.”

His hand spread across her belly as he dragged it away, freeing her. “Get in before you catch a cold.”

Her spine stiffened, her first instinct to be contrary on principle. Then she shivered and stepped into the water’s heat. The warmth wrapped around her. Her eyes closed on a moan. She didn’t hear him take off his own clothes. He was already chest deep when she realized he’d joined her. She didn’t hide the disappointment that she missed an opportunity to ogle.

He chuckled. “You can look later. Tell me about this laying down for grizzlies business.”

She laughed. “You, of all people, should have heard the rhyme about what to do when confronted with a bear.”

“Maybe I haven’t because Normals don’t want us knowing what they’ll do.”

She tapped a finger against the side of her chin. “That’s a good point. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you.”

He shrugged, the ripples feeling more like waves as they lapped at her collarbones. “I’ll just Google it later.”

“In that case, I guess it’d be okay to save you the trouble.”

She smirked at him and then recited, “If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lay down. If it’s white, say goodnight.”

He tilted his head and pretended to think about it. “That’s actually not terrible advice for wild bears. Society bears are different.”

She laughed, the sound wrapping around him and squeezing his heart. He made a vow to hear that sound every day she gifted him with.

“So, what would the advice be for Society bears?”

“Depends on their intentions, I suppose.”

He watched heat bloom in her eyes. She pushed away from the edge and glided through the water until she stood in front of him. “And what are your intentions?”

“Are you asking the man, or the bear?”

“Is your bear separate? Do you remember what you did as a bear? How does it work?”

He chuckled and reached for her. He just needed to touch her, to feel her skin beneath his palms. It was a compulsion he would indulge as long as she let him. “No, our animals are part of us. It’s easier to think of them as different, because there are a few things that are dulled or heightened depending on which shape we’re in. But I remember everything as you would.”

She slid her hand against my cheek and into my hair. “Does it hurt? When you shift?”

“It can when you’re first learning. Like growing pains. But that dulls with time. I’d have to concentrate on the discomfort to feel it now.”

“You have to learn to shift?”

She’d clearly forgotten they were both naked as she slated her curiosity. He was acutely aware of her knees tucked by his hips, her thighs resting on his. “It’s instinctual, but elders usually lead you through the process the first few times. Sometimes when you’re young, you can get stuck in one form or another. It helps keep the panic at bay if there’s someone to talk you through it.”

She nodded and stopped to think. He moved her slightly to the right. The apex of her thighs was no longer suspended between his. He set her down firmly and dragged her forward, knowing full well the friction would steal her attention.

She gasped, and her head fell back. The water felt ten degrees hotter. He kept his hands on her hips, dragging her in until her belly was flush against him. She rocked her hips, sending delicious pleasure through his cock where it was trapped between them.

He captured her lips, deepened the kiss and let his emotions pour out. He wanted her to feel how much she meant to him, how much he cherished her. Even if she weren’t his fated mate, he would have chosen her.

They fit together perfectly. She was headstrong and independent, but not pushy or unreasonable. He’d seen her hesitate when he told her to get into the water. She’d wanted to refuse on principle, but she thought about it and complied. He hoped with time her first instinct would be to trust him. To know in her soul that everything he did was for her. To keep her safe. Protect her. Love her.

She would always come first for him. Literally and figuratively.

She wiggled against him, her movements more forceful and demanding.

He nipped at her lower lip. “Let’s go back inside.”

“But I’m warm and you feel good.” She pouted.

He almost relented, but chuckled. “Water sex is no fun, trust me. Unless it’s shower sex, which we can explore later.”

She tilted her head at him in confusion.

“All the lube is washed away.”

Her eyes popped wide. Her mouth forming a little O. “Right. Okay.”

She scrambled to get up so fast he laughed.

“Slow down or you’ll slip.” He kept his hand firmly on her elbow until her feet reached the wood of the deck. He joined her and pushed her back inside.

He grabbed towels from the main level bathroom and thanked Zeus for buying the biggest, fluffiest ones in existence. He wrapped her up and kissed her gently, determined to go slow and take his time.

She sighed happily against his lips and her stomach let out a growl worthy of Connor.

He grinned down at her. “I think we should have breakfast first.”

She pouted in protest and stuck a couple of fingers out of the towel burrito he’d made. “But…” she waved at his straining dick.

“It’ll keep.” He winked at her.

They dried off, got back in their clothes, and he hit the kitchen. He only made a few things well, but the fridge was stocked, and even he could scramble eggs and make toast.

She watched him from a small table at the end of the kitchen.

“Tell me about your family.”

It was an innocent question, but it lifted his shoulders to his ears.

She kept talking. “I feel like you know everything about me, and I know so little about you.”

He tried to relax. He understood. Revealing a secret as big as being Society would shake anyone’s foundation. “There isn’t a lot to tell.”

“Did you grow up in a group of shifters? Roll around with other adorable bear cubs when you were little?”

He sighed. “No. It was just me, my mom and dad.”

“Oh,” she propped her chin in her hand. “I figured you’d live in packs or compounds.”

He chuckled. “That’s wolves. Actually, most Society lives alongside humans. There are exceptions—those whose shape can’t hide what they are, and some who have very specific dietary or environmental needs. Wolves tend to live in the same neighborhoods, and shifters all choose houses close enough to wild spaces to stretch our animals, but otherwise, we’re just like the Joneses.”

“Do you talk to your mom and dad a lot?”

Her voice took a wistful turn, and he could hear the current of hurt underneath. She wasn’t able to talk to her dad as often as she’d like. He’d make sure that changed.

He took a deep breath. “My mom died when I was four, and I always felt like more of an annoyance to my dad than anything else. I haven’t spoken to him in over a year.”

Her arms wrapped around his waist, and she pressed herself into his back. He kept his focus on the eggs.

“I’m sorry.”

No pity or judgment. He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Don’t be. I have everything I need right here.” He put one hand around her back and squeezed so his meaning would be clear.

He felt her stiffen and winced. He’d just fucked up.

She tried to laugh it off. “No pressure.”

It sounded like he’d had a pretty crap childhood, and he basically said she was his family now. How was she supposed to live up to that? Was he expecting June Cleaver? The perfect mate to give him a happy home?

That was not her. She would never give up her independence and cater to someone else. She decided to do what she usually did—tackle the issue head on. She moved back to the small table. She needed some distance for this conversation.

“What does being your mate mean, exactly?”

He turned off the stove and caught her eyes. “Nothing you don’t want it to. You have complete control here, Gaelynn. The only thing it means for you is that I will always be there for you. I will always protect you and keep you safe, but not at the expense of you living your life.”

Her eyes skittered outside the window, unable to look at him as she voiced her fears. “I’m afraid you want more than I can give.”

“I don’t.”

She shook her head. “How can you say that?”

He crouched in front of her and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Because I only want what you’re comfortable giving me. I don’t want you to change. I don’t want to control you. I…” He took a huge breath and put a finger under her chin, guiding her to look at him. “I’m falling in love with you, Gaelynn, not some imaginary construct. Not who you think I want. Not Jane.”

She sucked in a breath. That was really it, wasn’t it? She was so afraid of becoming that woman again. The one who was scared to speak out of turn. Who was willing to do just about anything to stay out of trouble. The one it took facing rape to stand up for herself.

Everything she did now was to be the exact opposite of that woman. Her entire personality was not Jane.

Behemoth’s big hands wrapped around her face.

Tears welled in her eyes as she shook her head. “I’m not sure I even know who I am. Everything I’ve done since leaving Guiding Light was to be as different as possible. I threw myself into being adventurous and independent to shake off that feeling of living completely under someone else’s control, but…” her breath shaky, her voice lowered to a whisper. “I don’t really know who I am.”

He growled, his voice strong and true as he gently wiped her tears. “Yes, you do. You’re Gaelynn Roth. You are the strongest woman I have ever known. You are tenacious, confident, and full of life.”

“What if I’m not, though? What if all of this has been pretend? A big fa?ade, just like how I let my friends believe I was the most experienced sexually?”

He was shaking his head. “It’s not. You had the knowledge, if not the experience. You are adventurous and independent. You also have an incredibly kind heart, and you didn’t overcompensate.”

“How do you know?”

“I’ve seen you with Virginia and Cate. Each of you have your own strengths, and when one of the others’ suits the situation better, you are more than happy to sit back and let them take the lead. If you were just pretending to be someone you’re not, you would be aggressive in your need for control. You would never let either of them lead the way.

“But you aren’t. You give and take. You’re tough when you need to be and kind the rest of the time. Maybe, in the very beginning, you were pushing past those confines you’d been trapped in, but not anymore. You feel this way because you aren’t truly free. You’ll never feel free until Matthew is dead or behind bars.”

He was right. Everything clicked into place and she felt like someone was pouring her back into a new mold. One that was sculpted by her alone, untouched by her past or anyone in it.

Where what she wanted was the most important thing. She could compromise for the good of others. But she didn’t need to compromise herself.

She looked at the powerful man crouched in front of her and her chest swelled. She nodded. “You’re right. About all of it.” She slid her hand up his jaw and cupped the back of his neck. “I want you. I choose you. I’m falling in love with you, too.”

The eggs on the stove were forgotten, the toast sitting where it’d popped out of the slots. Behemoth lit the fire, made a nest of blankets on the floor in front, and spent the next hour showing her exactly how she was in complete control of him.