25. Cameron

After a too-quick chaste kiss, Sam pulled away from me, and I felt the loss of his warmth acutely. I wanted him closer, not farther away, but I'd been waiting to have this talk with him for ages, so I supposed I should embrace it. Though my head was only just clearing from that extremely fucking hot edging session he'd put me through on the way over. That it was semi-public, how he made me beg, the fact he was giving me orders . . . shit, the man knew exactly what to say and do to turn me the hell on.

"So I was thinking about some rules for you."

I blinked to reorient myself, switching gears in my head. I glanced over at him. "Oh?"

He nodded, eyes sparkling with evil intent, I was sure. "Yes. First, you must eat three meals a day. Is that feasible?"

I paused for a moment before nodding, showing him I was taking this seriously. "Yes, Daddy. I can do that. I do tend to skip meals when I get writing or involved in a project, though."

His brow furrowed, and his hand came up to caress my cheek again. I was discovering I absolutely loved that. "Then that sounds like a great rule for you. I need you to keep your strength up for our activities"—he grinned—"but more importantly, I need you to stay healthy."

"Thank you, Daddy."

"Do you think check-ins would help?"

I considered that as well. Sam texting me as my Daddy to remind me to eat each day? Sign me up. "Yes, they would. And I'd have the added bonus of talking to you even more than I already do."

He chuckled, which made me grin. "Excellent. Next rule: I control your orgasms, and you have to get my permission to come, no exceptions. If you come without permission, there will be consequences." He wiggled his eyebrows, and I snorted out a laugh. "You laugh now, but I think you'll find how serious your Daddy can get. So hands off that gorgeous cock of yours—it's already been mine for a couple of months now, but there will be serious consequences going forward if you touch it. That includes your sexy asshole, too."

I flushed, loving this rule. And a little bit looking forward to breaking it to see what he'd do. Maybe. If I was brave enough someday. "Thank you, Daddy. I'll be a good boy, I promise."

He laughed. "I think you will be when you want to."

I fluttered my eyelashes at him. "Whatever do you mean? I'm an angel."

He caught my gaze, his eyes heated. "Yes, you fucking are." He leaned in for a kiss then, one that scrambled my brain and had me reeling when he pulled away minutes later.

"Damn . . ." I started, pushing hair off my forehead. "What were we talking about? I think you literally kissed me senseless."

He chuckled. "Good. Now onto the next rule, and this one is my most serious." His expression hardened. "You are never to disparage yourself. If I hear any negative self-talk coming out of that gorgeous mouth, you will be severely punished." His eyes narrowed at me. "Do you understand?"

I swallowed once, nodding. "I understand, Daddy. But . . . may I ask a question?"

His smile was gentle. "Of course, baby."

"What do I do when the anxiety gets too loud? It's like I have this voice in my head that tells me I'll never be good enough, that I'm not doing enough. That no matter how hard I try, I'll never do anything right."

"Oh, sweet boy," Sam breathed as he pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me. Light kisses grazed my hair, and I settled into the calm of his embrace. I could stay here all night.

When he finally pulled back, I met his determined gaze.

"Listen, my beautiful boy," he started, "I'm not a therapist, and I won't pretend to be. If you need to start seeing someone who can help you manage your anxiety, I'll support you in any way I can as you get the process started. And in the meantime and any time during or after, you can always come to me. I can't promise it will make the voice go away, but maybe I can help it quiet down for a time." He kissed my head again before letting me go. "How does that sound?"

My eyes burned as I swallowed down my tears, and my words came out in a choked whisper. "That sounds amazing, Daddy."

"I'm glad. Thank you for being honest with me, baby." He straightened in his seat. "You ready for your last rule? For now, anyway?"

I shifted in my seat. Was I going to like this rule? "Okay, Daddy."

"Good boy."

My stomach tumbled at that. I was beginning to think I'd do anything he asked if only he'd call me his good boy all the time.

"Final rule: When we're together, I take care of you in every way I can. Which can mean helping you cook dinner or cooking it myself, drawing you a bath when you need to relax, picking out your clothes—anything that feels right in the moment. The rule is that you must always ask for what you would like and let me help you as much as I'm able. I will never get mad at you for expressing your needs, okay?"

I bit my lip, fighting tears yet again. Sam was offering me everything I'd ever wanted. Was I dreaming? Could this be real?

The moment the words left his mouth, I already knew what I wanted help with. Something I'd struggled with for years, something I'd often longed to have a Daddy help me with so I didn't have to do it alone.

Tears welled in my eyes. When they started to spill over, Sam reached up to thumb them away. "What, baby? Are you okay?"

I nodded, giving him a watery but genuine smile. "I know what I need, Daddy."

"Anything, baby. I want to give you the world."

I choked back a sob, swallowing it down so I could speak. We'd talked about it many times before—Sam wasn't the only one who had been socialized to keep his needs hidden. Maybe he knew this would be hard for me, which was why he'd made it a rule. "I've always wanted help with this one thing in particular. It's something I have to do but really don't like."

"What is it?"

My words came out in a whisper. "Can you please help me with my T-shots, Daddy?"

His eyes softened in understanding, and I'd never felt more loved in my life. "Oh, Cameron, of course, baby. Has it been hard for you to do alone?"

I nodded again, tears spilling over and flowing freely. Even on the Saturdays he'd been here over the past few months, I'd locked myself away in the bathroom and done my shots myself. But I didn't want to hide that part of myself from him anymore. I could let him in just a little, in this small way that felt huge.

He leaned in to kiss my tears away. "Of course, sweet boy. When is your next shot due?"

"Tomorrow. I do them on Saturday mornings, when I wake up."

"Perfect. I'll be here to help you starting tomorrow. And as many Saturdays as you want after that."

A cry finally broke through, and I practically threw myself in his arms, sobs wracking my body as he held me. "Thank you, Daddy, thank you. I've hated doing it by myself all these years."

"Shh, it's okay, Cameron. Daddy's here now. I've got you." The palm of his hand moved up and down my spine in soothing passes until my sobs quieted. Then he pulled back to look me in the eye. "I've got another rule for you."

"Oh?"

He smiled sweetly, eyes full of the love I knew I would admit to reciprocating soon. "You let your Daddy hold you when you cry."

I chuckled, sniffling. "That sounds perfect, Daddy."

***

Since we were both keyed up after our discussion, Sam offered to put on a movie. I agreed though I knew I wouldn't last all the way through it. But as he picked me up to carry me into bed—holy hell, the man was strong—I clutched him tightly.

Late at night, when the house was quiet and my fears were loud, I started to worry he would leave. Disappear. He'd stayed the night plenty of times, so it made no sense to my logical brain. But the anxiety was loud tonight.

"Stay with me, Daddy, please," I begged, half-asleep and a little delirious, as he deposited me on the bed and started removing my clothes to get me dressed for bed. He hadn't helped me in this way before—he was taking on the full role of my Daddy so well.

"Of course I'm staying, sweet boy. Where else am I gonna go? Plus, I'm taking care of you in the morning, remember?"

I nodded, yawning, as he moved toward the top drawer of my dresser for my pajamas. After he'd helped me into the bathroom so I could floss and brush my teeth, making certain I was awake enough to do it, he disappeared into the bedroom but quickly returned in his own pajamas, ones he always kept here. His gray sweatpants were working for him, and the basic white T-shirt he'd paired with them was nothing special, but it had my dick thickening in my silky shorts.

I spit in the sink one last time then stepped away so he could brush, too. I loved that he kept a toothbrush here, next to mine in the holder. Crossing my arms, I leaned against the doorjamb to watch him floss then ogled his fabulous ass as he bent over the sink to brush. "I know it's late and I'm tired, but damn, you look fucking sexy, Daddy."

He coughed, and I hoped he didn't inhale toothpaste. Once he'd recovered, he rinsed out his mouth and spit into the sink before turning to me. "First, naughty boy. I almost got toothpaste up my nose. You may get punished for that tomorrow." His evil grin was back, and I squirmed in place. My dick was definitely up for some fun, but I'd promised to let him control my orgasms. Why did I both love and hate that in equal measure?

Okay, maybe I loved it just a little more.

"Second, we need to sleep. If you're still feeling like that in the morning, we can discuss it."

I raised an eyebrow, something I knew drove Sam crazy because he couldn't. "Oh, I will definitely be feeling this in the morning. Knowing you're in my bed will keep me horny all night."

"Maybe you need to edge again to remind you of who's in charge."

My eyes shot wide, maybe a little afraid he'd follow through. "Daddy? You'd do that to your sweet boy?"

He smirked as he wiped his mouth on the towel I'd laid out for him then crossed the room. As he stalked past me toward the bedroom, he leaned down to my ear and said, "I would do that and more, naughty boy. You'd love to hurt for your Daddy, wouldn't you?"

My head nodded of its own accord. Why did I want that? Was my brain on vacation? "Yes, Daddy. I would."

"Good." He kissed my cheek. "But no more tonight—we need to rest, because I suspect tomorrow will be a full day."

I squirmed in place as he walked away, trying to get some friction on my dick, but then he called from the bedroom, "Get that sexy bottom in here, Cameron. I need to reapply lotion so it's all healed and ready to go by tomorrow night. I like to have options for rewarding you—after I punish you, of course."

I yelped, my cheeks heating at the slight humiliation of him calling my ass a "bottom." Then I flicked off the bathroom light as I flew into the bedroom and sprawled out on the bed by the light of the bedside lamp. He reverently pulled my shorts over my tender ass, rubbing each cheek gently as if memorizing the feel of them before he massaged lotion into each one thoroughly then pulled my shorts back up.

"You ready to go to sleep, baby?" Sam asked, and I nodded, so he reached over to click off the lamp. "Good night, sweet boy. I'll be here in the morning."

I choked up at the promise. Before Sam, no one had ever wanted to stay all night with me, not after transitioning, after Victor. I'd started to believe my ex when he'd said no one would want me, yet Sam was proving he did over and over again. How did this beautiful man always know just what I needed to hear?

I sniffed the tears away and tucked in next to him, feeling his arm wrap around me and pull me close. I grinned against his side, feeling fully cherished for the first time in my life.

"Good night, Daddy." I love you.

I felt it, knew it deep in my soul. I loved Sam. More than I ever thought possible.

But for some reason, I didn't say it out loud.