Chapter 11

Chapter

Eleven

brIAR

I don't know what to tell Prince.

He hasn't given me a reason not to trust him… but I'm not sure if I trust my own judgment. Any sane person would look at everything I've done over this past week and say no . Probably with several more expletives. But if I hadn't done any of it, we wouldn't be here.

I'm afraid to fill the comfortable night air between us… but I guess I could start there.

"It scares me," I murmur softly. "Knowing who you are underneath first. And knowing that you know me the same way." Then I furrow my eyebrows. "If you get what I mean."

"Yes," Prince says softly. "There's the knowing that comes with seeing someone in the light… and the knowing of seeing what's inside them, and helping bring those things to life."

"Like what?" I murmur. It's not just an excuse to hear him talk, either. What he's saying makes sense.

"Seeing their deepest, most shameful fantasies. Understanding something about them that they might not have admitted even to themselves. Liking them, even growing to love them, despite... no, not despite it. Because of it, and everything you understand about them through it."

Whoa. Did I hear that right?

Is he trying to tell me that he… he might just grow to love me?

My gulp sounds even louder in the darkness. "What does it say about me, then?"

He reaches out and rests a hand on my shoulder. "You obviously want to hide from the light—from seeing and making a choice for yourself. But you're desperate to be seen."

Oh my god, kill me now.

I dramatically roll onto my front, hiding my face in the pillow.

Prince laughs softly and rests a hand on my back. "Did you hear me when I said I like you because of it?"

I blush furiously, but there's something warm and soft exploding in my chest. Gradually, I let go of the pillow and turn my cheek against it so I can shake my head. "Yeah. But it's hard to trust I won't get burned in the light."

A breath rushes out, like I just kicked Prince in the chest.

For once, he doesn't have an answer ready to go.

The seconds are ticking by, and still nothing. Maybe I hit a nerve. God, what if he likes hiding behind masks because he had a terrible encounter with a chandelier or something?

Just before I can burst out with inappropriate questions, Prince sighs. "I understand. Deep down, we're all afraid of the light. But we need it. We want to know and be known."

There's an intense sadness—even loneliness—ringing clear as a bell in his voice. And even with my eyes closed, I can't hold back the tears.

We've both been hiding in the shadows, haven't we?

He's so confident that I didn't imagine he could be just as afraid as me. But I guess he needed the darkness too, to let his desires be known.

"Oh, sweetheart," Prince murmurs. "Come here." The bed shifts behind me as he stretches out along the bed and slides his arm over my waist. Gently, he pulls my back against his chest.

I sniffle into my pillow as he wraps himself around me. He's the perfect size to wrap me up in his strong arms. I never imagined him holding me like this—my shoulder blades against his chest, his lips against the back of my neck, rubbing my chest in gentle little circles.

He holds me softly for as long as I need to cry, and then for a little while after the tears dry up.

Finally, I clear my throat a few times.

"Why'd you wait so long to come?"

"You get more stamina over the years?—"

I giggle hoarsely and shove an elbow back into Prince, wiping my arm across my eyes. "Come here , I mean," I laugh, trying to keep my voice down.

Prince chuckles softly. "I work in, er…" he pauses like he's choosing his words carefully before he says, "hospitality."

Bartender? Bouncer? Stripper? A few options automatically present themselves, and they all come with visuals I really enjoy.

"My shifts end late." He slowly lets go of me and sits up, gently tucking the covers around my shoulders again. "But that's boring stuff."

"Good," I whisper, snuggling into the affectionate touch. I don't want this moment to be over. "I want to get to know you. And if it's boring, it'll just help me drift off. Win-win."

"Mmm," Prince hums. He runs a hand down my arm, through the covers, and I smile at the heaviness suddenly in my eyelids. It doesn't take as much work to keep them closed. "I have two jobs. I've spent a long time trying to break into the one I want to do. There's this thing on Friday…" he trails off, his grip tightening on my shoulder.

Holy shit, is he actually nervous?

It makes my heart swell with warmth—and a little bit of pride—that Prince trusts me enough to show me this side of him. "Oh? A big break?"

"Yeah. The big break. This industry is like a castle, and… I wasn't born with the key." Prince sighs. "Some days, I wonder if I belong in it at all."

Prince's Daddy mask is slipping into something a little more natural as he speaks. The warm, sultry voice has turned more rough and gruff, but it still sounds comfortably familiar.

It makes me trust him.

"You got in here," I yawn softly.

Prince pauses and then huffs a soft laugh. "That's because you leave the window open, my dear," he says drily.

I giggle. "Every castle has an open window. You can find it. Prince Charming is good at that stuff."

Prince chuckles and leans over me to cup my cheek in his palm. "As long as there's a Beauty waiting for me on the other side."

"I—I know what you mean," I mumble, stifling a yawn as he runs his hand gently to my shoulder again. "I feel like I've been following other people's dreams."

"What makes you say that?"

"I'm supposed to be going into my last year of college." I sigh. "Assuming I pass summer classes. And then I don't know what I'll do. No grad school wants a psych major who was too busy jerking off to learn anything."

Prince hums under his breath. "You started getting these uncontrollable urges, and it began impacting your life?"

"Yes—" I break off, because something's gnawing at the back of my mind. "Wait, no. It was the night after I failed my first test, when I woke up and discovered… well, all of this."

I can't believe I forgot that. For months, I've been telling myself that it's the other way around… beating myself up for being such a loser.

Prince hums and nods. "But waking up in the middle of the night can't be helpful, either."

I nod slowly, my cheeks burning. "Yeah. No matter how sleep-deprived I am, no matter how bad I'm doing at classes… I haven't been able to stop myself. Until now. These last two nights."

"What's changed?" I snort, but before I can be sassy, Prince gently flicks my shoulder. "Besides me."

I dunno. It's easier to follow someone else's rules than my own? I shrug. "I had something to look forward to?"

Prince doesn't say anything. He just runs his hand gently from my shoulder down my arm until he's stroking the back of my hand.

"Which I haven't had in… a long time now." I frown into the darkness. "I come from the kind of family where nobody expected me to achieve much. I was just supposed to look pretty, follow the path, go to the right school… graduate with a degree, any degree. The only reason I'm majoring in psychology is because my friends are. But none of it is for me ."

Prince still says nothing, but my chest aches.

"I'm just… an empty vessel for everyone else to pour their desires into. Like Sleeping Beauty."

I can't believe I said it out loud. But at the same time, I can. I feel so damn safe with my Prince Charming… and it's not just because I don't have to see his face when I'm talking. It's about who he is.

"But you're not," Prince says softly. He gently pulls his hand out from between my palms, tangling his fingers in my hair to rub slow circles against my scalp.

I snort. "But I am. Look at me."

"I am looking at you," Prince reminds me softly. "And listening. Sometimes you don't quite know how, but you've already shown and told me who you are. And that's the one thing Sleeping Beauty doesn't do."

A second ago, I was all ready for a fight. Now I'm just frowning into the darkness, my lips slowly parting.

"Huh?" I finally manage.

Prince chuckles softly. "Why does it appeal to you so much, having me stumble upon you? Why is it hotter for you to pretend to be asleep?"

My cheeks burn. I've never thought that much about it. At least, not without judging myself. "Um… it just is?"

Prince huffs softly. "Try again."

I grimace, squirming with embarrassment, but he just waits patiently until I finally manage to say it out loud. "I never have to say what I want. I don't even have to know what I want. I can just be…"

"An empty vessel," he echoes my words from just a minute ago, and then he kisses the back of my neck. "A toy for princes and beasts to play with."

My breath catches in my throat, and my eyes fly open as I stare ahead of me into the darkness.

Fuck. He's right.

I groan, rolling over until I'm face-down in the pillows. "Is that a bad thing?"

"That you want to be helpless?" I nod, and Prince presses his lips softly against the back of my neck. "No, sweetheart. Admitting what you want makes you a stronger man… and a very good boy."

A good boy? Holy shit. Maybe Prince Charming could be everything I've ever wanted, all at once: a brave prince, a wicked beast… and a wise Daddy.

"I'm not saying not to let yourself be an empty vessel," he purrs, warm and sultry again. "I, for one, enjoy it."

My throat is tight, but I can't help a soft squeak.

Prince chuckles. "Just do it on purpose. Live your dreams at night, and you'll have more room to discover what your dreams are during the day."

That sounds… that sounds really nice.

Shit. I'm sleepy again. I can't hold back another huge yawn.

"And before any of that, you clearly need to sleep," Prince murmurs, pushing himself to his feet.

"Wait," I whisper. "Will you come back on Friday?" I lick my lips nervously, and it takes everything I have to force out another word. "Please?"

What if he says no? What if he doesn't want me that often? Or ever again?

This. Is. The. Worst .

In the darkness, I don't have a clue what he's thinking. My whole kink is sitting and stewing and waiting… but I can't stand another second.

"I know that's the night of your big break. But you could come before…? Or after, and tell me how it went...? My roommates always go out early for pre-drinks. And they'll be out all night. So basically, come anytime. I'll be in bed?—"

Prince takes hold of both my shoulders, gently rolling me onto my back, and then he kisses me.

Ohhhh. Oh, fuck.

This kiss tells me more than a thousand words, or a hundred lingering stares. It's a promise that blows away all my worries like dust in the wind.

It says: Whenever you need me, I'll be here.

Prince's mouth slides softly across mine, gentle yet demanding. He sucks my lower lip until I melt into a thousand little puddles of goo, and then he pushes his tongue between my lips to utterly claim me. Every part of me, whether it lives in the shadows or the light.

"I'll come," Prince promises in a whisper against my lips as he finally pulls away. "And you really are a fast learner, Beauty. I hope you remember that now."

I swallow hard.

I can't get over the way he sees all of me. And he might even grow to love it, in time. As long as I let him in… through more than just the window.

Maybe even the front door.

"There's a lockbox outside," I whisper, my heart fluttering nervously. "You've slain enough dragons to have the castle keys. The code's 6969."

Prince's breath catches. There's a few long seconds of silence, and then he snorts.

"6969? That's a terrible code." Despite the dry tone in his voice, Prince puts his hand on my shoulder for a quick squeeze… like he wants me to know how touched he is.

I giggle as I nuzzle into my pillow. "But you won't forget it. That makes it a great code."

"And it's easy for anyone to guess, which makes it?—"

"A great code, if you have my kink."

Prince gives up and huffs a soft laugh. "Are you a beauty and a brat?"

"I don't—" I yawn again. "Mmmnh. I dunno, remember? You'll have to find out."

"Oh, I will," he promises in that warm, raspy whisper that turns me on so much. "But first, you sleep."

That's one command I'm happy to obey.

Just as the blackness tugs at me, I hear Prince's voice one more time. "Beauty?"

"Mmm?"

"I'm proud of you."

That's it. That's all I've ever wanted to hear.

Any tension I had left—hell, any tension I ever had—melts away. I can't manage words, but a soft, happy moan slips free.

"Sweet dreams, Beauty."

Maybe my life is the good kind of fairytale after all… and it'll have the kind of ending I've always wanted.