21. Cameron

Cameron

O utwardly, I think I seem pretty calm, but inside I'm freaking out.

Was it only yesterday I called my dad for advice about Jagger's sperm donor? That seems like forever ago. I thought I'd have more time to prepare before he made his presence known. Time to give Jagger a heads up so he wasn't blindsided.

At least he's not losing it over our surprise encounter this morning. Not that I can tell, anyway.

His hand is stable in mine as we drive home. It's not even sweaty. And while he's not smiling, he's not scowling, either. Still, I'm not sure if that's a brave face he's putting on or if he's really okay.

Considering he's spent the anniversary of his dad's disappearance in my bed for ten years, I'm inclined to think he's putting on an act. Then again, maybe he's got the closure he never had before, and now that he knows the kind of person his dad is he's ready to move on.

If that's the case, I couldn't have dreamed of a better outcome. But I'm not na?ve enough to believe that Jeremy will leave Jagger alone just because my bes—my boyfriend —isn't interested in helping him.

I give Jagger's hand a squeeze to brace him for what I'm about to say .

"We need to talk to the police about your dad. Coach too, I think."

Jagger cocks his head to the side as he looks my way. "What for? I don't think they can do anything about attempted blackmail. Besides, he knows I won't give him anything, so he'll probably just move on."

I shake my head slowly back and forth, never taking my eyes off the road. "If he was just looking for a handout that might be true, but I think it's more than that, Kitcat."

"What do you mean?" Now, his palm feels sort of sweaty, and I can only hope that's not a sign of how he'll react to what I'm about to tell him.

"My dad's been keeping tabs on him for years. I have no idea what he's been up to," I rush to assure him. "I didn't want to have to keep secrets from you, so I told my dad I didn't want to know what he found out. But whatever Jeremy's gotten into it's bad enough that my dad made me promise to let him know if he ever approached us."

Jagger's grip on my hand loosens, but he doesn't pull away. "Your dad knows where he's been this whole time?"

I shake my head firmly. "No. I don't think so, anyway. More like he'd get updates after the fact, and each time he got one I'd get a reminder to let him know if we ever saw your dad. The first few years he never said anything, and I'm guessing that's because no one knew where your dad went. But when we were thirteen my dad asked if I remembered what Jeremy looked like and told me to let him know if I saw him. He's probably mentioned it another five or six times since then."

"You didn't think I'd want to know about that? To have some word about him?" Jagger's voice is steady but soft, like he can't quite decide if he's offended or not.

"The word wouldn't have been good, Kitcat. I didn't want to put you through that. Maybe I shouldn't have made that decision for you, but after what just happened, I'm pretty sure anything we might've learned about your dad over the years would've just caused you more pain."

I have to let go of Jagger's hand to pull into the driveway, but when I park the car and turn it off it's right where I left it, on the armrest, so I take it and lace our fingers together.

"Do you forgive me?" I ask, brushing my thumb over the back of his.

"Yeah," he sighs. "It's a lot to take in, but I think you're probably right. It would've fucked me up even more to get updates about him."

"You know you aren't fucked up, right?"

"You're my best—my boyfriend. You have to say that." He gives me a feeble smile.

"I don't say things I don't mean, Kitcat." I cup his face with my free hand and bring his lips to mine for a gentle kiss. "You're perfect. Don't ever question that." I kiss him again, lingering long enough that I feel his tension start to evaporate.

"How do we do this?" Jagger breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against mine. "Do we go to the police station or…"

"Let's call my dad." I pull out my phone and put it on speaker so he can hear everything I do. "Dad," I say when he answers. "Jagger's here with me. We just ran into Jeremy leaving the store, and he's trying to blackmail us."

"Blackmail you with what?"

It's a logical question, and one I should've anticipated if I was thinking clearly, but a lot of shit got packed into the last twenty-four hours, which is making me emulate Jagger's I have no process , process.

Predictably, it doesn't work the same way for me that it does him, so I'm not prepared to answer since it means coming out, which sort of thought I'd do with more grace. And in person .

Watching me short-circuit has Jagger biting his lips to suppress his laughter, and I want to shove him to shut him up, but my limbs are frozen.

"Cameron, blackmail you with what?" my dad repeats in a drastically higher pitch.

"An intimate video." Jagger collapses into a fit of laughter.

"You made a sex tape?" my dad hollers.

"What?" I find my voice "No. Jagger's… He's making it sound worse than it is." I regain control of my arm and give him a shove, muttering, "Dumbass."

"Sorry, Mr. Blair. I couldn't resist." Jagger flashes me one of his devious grins, and while I'm a little salty that he probably caused my dad to have heart palpitations, at least I know if he's fucking with me, he really does forgive me for keeping that stuff about his dad a secret.

"What the hell is going on?" My dad's clearly reached the limit of his patience, so I clear my throat and hope I don't give him another shock. Even though he won't care about me being bi, I doubt he's expecting that to be what I have to tell him.

"So, uh. Jagger and I are sort of dating, and last night, Jeremy recorded us kissing at a bar. He's threatening to post it unless Jagger gives him fifty grand."

"If you're kissing in public, I assume you're not in the closet, so why is he trying to use that as blackmail?"

"You're not going to comment about us dating?" Jagger asks, and I shoot him a confused look, but he just lifts a shoulder.

"Well, I'd like to be pissed that you didn't tell me before you go making out in public and getting caught on camera, but that seems minor compared to being blackmailed."

"We made out in public before we decided to date, so you're really the first to know. Or the first person we've told, anyway," Jagger says .

"I'm honored." My dad sounds sort of bored. "Back to the blackmail thing. If you're not in the closet, why is he trying to use that against you?"

"He thinks we were playing a game and planned to spin it to look like a scandal, but Jagger told him to post it since we're not hiding anything and that's when he said we should take some time to think about it. I'm pretty sure he's not planning to leave us alone. I think we need to know what he's been up to so we can plan for what comes next."

Jagger squeezes my hand a little tighter as my dad takes a deep breath. "It started out small, petty theft that carried a misdemeanor charge, but then he started running scams. Bilking people out of their savings, mostly by catfishing them online. He did some time. I've left a message with a friend in law enforcement to see if he can look into Jeremy's recent activity and shed any light on what he might want. My guess is he's either hoping Jagger can bail him out of a hole he's dug himself in or be a cash cow if he can manipulate him into doing his bidding."

Jagger's throat bobs as he swallows, but his green eyes remain focused on me, processing this as best he can.

"What will he do now that his first plan to extort money didn't work?" I ask.

"I suppose that depends upon how desperate he is. If he's only looking to get ahead, I'd expect him to make a similar threat again. If he owes money, he'll probably try to up the ante. I doubt he'd physically hurt Jagger, but he might threaten to, hoping he'll choose a long-term career and pay up over a potential injury."

"How do we protect ourselves?" Jagger asks .

"I've already notified the authorities and your coach that he's in town," my dad says, "but since he's made contact maybe we could get a restraining order."

"Will that really stop him?" I ask.

"I don't know. I'll ask your coach if it's possible to get extra security at the field or around campus. And I'd try not to go anywhere alone. Not that you two are ever apart, but try to stick together."

"We will," I tell him.

"And Jagger, I'd suggest calling your mother to tell her about your dad and your new boyfriend. I'm sure she'd rather hear it from you than me."

"Yes, sir." I watch his face turn crimson, which doesn't happen all that often. While confident is a sexy look on him, I'm finding chagrined pretty cute.

We disconnect, and I immediately give Jagger's shoulder a shove. "I can't believe you implied I made a sex tape to my dad."

"I had to say something after you told him we were getting blackmailed and then froze. Did he even know you're bi or did you spring that on him too?"

"It never came up," I mumble.

"He didn't seem upset. Or surprised." Jagger leans against the backrest. "He's probably suspected you had a thing for dicks ever since he caught you looking at mine when we were eleven."

My eyes roll so far back in my head I'm surprised they can snap back into place. "You woke up with your first boner and thought it was broken. You were freaking out asking what was wrong with it."

"You didn't have to inspect it so closely."

"I'd never seen a hard one before, either. It sort of freaked me out until my dad explained it was normal. "

Jagger keeps talking like I never said anything. "Are you sure that bus job handy is what made you realize you like dicks? Maybe it was mine all along."

"Of course you want to take credit," I chuckle, sobering a bit when his words fully register. "Fuck, I think we're gonna get a lot of that."

"A lot of what?" Jagger twists his head to the side to see me.

"A lot of people who saw this coming before we did."

"That's what they'll claim, but only because of hindsight. And so what if they do? It's not like we didn't see ourselves spending the rest of our lives together. That was always the plan, now it just includes sex."

"Exactly, that's my point. They'll say we should've been fucking all along. Or claim they knew we were, even when we weren't."

"Again, so what?" Now Jagger rolls his eyes, and when they focus back on me, I notice the sunlight gives them an almost iridescent quality, more mint than emerald, and I can't look away, not even when his lips start moving. "I admit it makes me feel a little stupid that I didn't see it earlier, but that doesn't make it any less real now."

"I should've told you I was bi. Maybe we wouldn't have wasted so many years to get to this point."

"They weren't wasted since we were together." Jagger's kiss is soft despite the fact he lurches at me unexpectedly. "Besides." He licks his lips. "I didn't want this before now. With anyone. I just wanted to play ball, focus on my studies and hang out. I didn't want the pressure of dating, still don't if I'm being honest, but with you there is no pressure. It just… is . So who fucking cares if people want to claim they saw it coming? We saw it when we needed to."

"Since when are you the smart one?"

He shoves my shoulder. "I've always been smart, fucker."

"Wise, then. "

"Dunno." He shrugs. "It probably has something to do with liking dick now."

"Good answer." I grab his shirt and pull him to me, crushing our mouths together in a kiss that's far from gentle. One that erases the looming threat and makes me feel like we're invincible.

"Damn," Jaggers mutters when we break apart. "My dick is fully awake now. I might need you to do something about that."

"Are we putting juicing on hold again?" I arch my brow with a sly grin. And I might puff my chest out a bit in the process.

"I mean, if that's how you want to get your protein, we can do it your way. But I think my way will be more fun."

"Upstairs. Now," I growl.

I've never seen him move so fast.