16. Jagger

Jagger

T he first thing I notice when I wake up is that I'm painfully hard. More so than usual. The next thing is that my cock isn't the only hard one in the bed. Cam's thick dick is resting on my thigh, one of his legs draped over mine while his solid arm is slung over my chest.

I'm pinned under him, which isn't unheard of when I sleep in his bed, but we've never fallen asleep naked before, so I've never woken up to his hard cock giving me ideas for how to take care of my own. And the idea I can't get out of my head is the one that originated from walking in on my roommates.

Despite being intrigued from that first glimpse, the concept was so foreign… It's taken me until now to wrap my brain around it. I mean, my entire sexual history revolved around women, unless you count the fact that Cam and I had no issues fucking them in front of each other, but even that didn't strike me as gay or bi or anything. And I don't even know if either of those labels fit me since the only person who seems to do anything for me right now is my best friend.

That should probably give me pause, considering how I've instituted a one-and-done rule when it comes to sex, which I've ignored when it comes to Cam, but… It's Cam. I trust him more than I trust myself, so obviously he's the safest person—the only person—to help me navigate this new side of myself.

And after several weeks of trying to understand what I like and what I want, I'm pretty sure I can't get out of this bed until I've experienced the sensation that got me started down this path.

Slowly, so I don't jar him awake, I slide my palm over Cam's dick, trapping it between my hand and my thigh. I don't squeeze or tug, just let it rest there while my thumb brushes over his slit. A tiny little bead of precum seeps out almost instantly, making it easy to circle his tip.

His cock twitches in my palm, but aside from that little involuntary movement, he doesn't stir. So, I give him a gentle squeeze, and feel his dick shudder again.

Since he seemed intrigued by the idea of waking up with his cock in my mouth, I figure he won't object to waking up with it in my hand, and I try to ignore my own throbbing dick by absently massaging his. That does actually distract me a bit, but only until his hips start rocking gently back and forth, and the urge to have him explore me in return becomes overwhelming.

I grip him a little harder, willing him to wake up with a need that rivals my own, and after toying with his slit another minute, I get my wish.

"Thought you wanted to use your mouth." His voice is thick with sleep though his thrusting hips feel pretty awake.

"That was last night. Now, I want your fingers."

The arm draped over my chest pulls back until it's just his fingers touching me. Although, instead of letting them linger there, he drags them down my stomach until he can wrap them around my cock. The moan that elicits from my throat is indecent, yet despite the fact it feels like heaven to have him holding my dick, I shake my head .

"Not there," I pant as I muster the strength to roll to my side, giving him my back.

"Kitcat?" His whole body seems to freeze behind me.

"I need it, Cam."

"Need what?"

"I need to know what it's like. To feel full. But your dick's fucking big so you'll have to get me ready first."

Cam's hand slides down my length, but instead of traveling back up it drifts over my pelvis, coming to rest on my hip. "I thought you'd be the top," he says, referring to our longstanding joke about who'd be in charge between the two of us.

It's on the tip of my tongue to say maybe one day, but that's looking farther ahead than I think either of us is ready for. So far, this has been about chasing gratification in the moment, and that's the safest way to answer. "Topping isn't what I need right now."

Cam's hand tightens on my hip. "You'll tell me if it's too much?"

Instead of answering, I open the drawer on his nightstand and get the lube I know he keeps there, passing it over my shoulder without looking at him. It's cowardly. Especially, considering I've never once been unable to look at Cam, but there's a reason I joke about being the top, and it contradicts what I'm doing right now.

I'm never not in control. Even when I get in my head about stuff and Cam has to level me out, he steers me in a way that gives me the illusion I'm calling the shots. I don't know when or why we fell into that dynamic, but it's been that way for as long as I can remember, and it's my safe space. He's my safe space. Always there for me and making me feel needed and important and, for lack of a better term… loved .

He fills the void my dad left, and he does it in a way that makes me feel like I have his respect, not his pity. With him I'm not some worthless kid whose dad didn't want him. I'm the guy who's always up for adventure, who can turn even the most boring shit into something fun, and who's never at a loss for words.

I've never admitted or acknowledged it, but I'm well aware he gives me the stage that helps me feel worthy, and he never makes me feel bad for needing it. So, for me to voluntarily give up control, even to the person I trust most in the world, is totally out of character for me. And he knows it.

While it makes me a coward to give myself to him without looking at him, I know he gets why it has to be this way. And I'm grateful he's letting me be vulnerable without making me feel like I'm giving up my dignity.

"It might be cold." Cam's deep voice rumbles next to my ear. I nod in acknowledgement and hold my breath to brace for the frigid intrusion.

Despite thinking I'm ready for it, the cool liquid does make me flinch slightly, but the rhythmic slide of Cam's fingers over my crease soothes away the discomfort in seconds.

"Good?" he rasps.

"Yeah. Give me a finger."

Anticipation has my skin humming with electricity despite my limbs being otherwise frozen. I have just enough control to rock toward Cam's finger as it presses against my hole, though it's only because he pushes forward that he's able to breach the ring of muscle.

I grunt as my body registers the intrusion, and his hand immediately stills. "Alright, Kitcat?"

"Yeah." I will my voice to stay level. "It's not… It doesn't hurt, it's just different. Go slow and I'll be fine."

Cam's chest presses into my back as he inhales, and I feel his finger nudge slightly deeper before pulling away. Not pulling out entirely, but enough for my body to think the intrusion is gone and involuntarily tense when he tries to push back in. It's less foreign now though, so if I concentrate, I can keep my muscles from fighting him.

For several minutes my mind and body are at odds, one trying to stay calm while the other is determined to remain tense. The clash between the two makes any pleasure elusive, although the gentle glide of Cam's finger is intriguing enough that it feels like pleasure is within reach if my body can get on board with this new sensation.

Closing my eyes, I do my best to relax, and as I do Cam is able to move faster, push deeper. His movements are still measured, but the increased pace creates an interesting friction that borders on pleasant. It keeps my dick hard, that's for sure, and since nothing is currently touching it, I find myself rolling my hips as though the air itself could soothe the growing need. That only ends up forcing Cam's finger deeper, until he hits a spot that not only has me yelling aloud, it makes my cock jerk violently.

"Holy fuck!" I push against Cam's hand, desperate to test whether he found what I think he did. And when a tremor wracks my body like a bomb, exploding through my limbs, my mind empties save for one all-consuming thought… More .

"Cam," I whimper. Whimper . "Cam, I need… I need…"

"Shh." His deep, soothing voice reverberates through me as he whispers in my ear, and I feel another finger pressing against my hole. "I know."

This intrusion is just as uncomfortable as the first, though it's quicker to fade since Cam makes sure to brush over my prostate each time he pushes inside. The gesture gives me a few seconds of bliss to mask the fact he's scissoring his fingers to stretch me enough to take his cock.

The pressure on those sensitive nerves is a wicked tease, a tiny sample of euphoria that's ripped away almost as soon as it's offered. Logically, I know why Cam's thoroughly focusing on my hole, but the primal desire he's stirring trumps my sense of reason. So while my body is pliant enough to take a third finger, I'm a writhing, mewling mess, begging for relief as my ecstasy is denied over and over again.

"Give me your dick, Cam."

"Not yet." He gives me a few shallow pumps before plunging his fingers deep, tickling my prostate, pulling nearly all the way out as I bite the fleshy part of my palm to stifle my exasperated cry.

"Please," I whine.

"You're not ready."

"Bullshit. Feel how hard my cock is."

"It's not about your cock, Kitcat. It's about whether your ass is ready for mine."

"It's ready. I need it. I'm so hard it hurts, Cam. Please." Words spill out of my mouth faster than I can register what they are, but I don't even care how desperate they make me sound, I just want relief. "My cock is literally going to combust if it doesn't unload, and I might die if you don't get your dick in me right now."

"Jesus," Cam mutters.

Yeah, I'm unhinged.

"Cam," I plead. "I can't take anymore. I need it now ."

A squelching sound echoes through the otherwise silent room as Cam withdraws his fingers, and I hear a similar sound as he squirts lube over his cock.

Glancing over my shoulder, I see him spreading the gel over his engorged length, which my ego would like to say is as full as I've ever seen it, but I'm probably too lust drunk to be thinking clearly. The fact my mouth is literally watering, watching Cam pump his dick would confirm that. Who the fuck knew you could legit lose your damn mind by being too horny?

All I know is, I'm no longer Daddy Issues Jagger. I'm some savage, desert animal on the verge of dehydration who just found a puddle. Excuse me while I pounce and horde it all for myself.

I force my gaze forward as he finishes his prep and lines himself up. Holding my breath as he starts to press forward, I feel the stretch. It almost burns this time and it takes everything I have to grit out a few words instead of whining in discomfort. I'm not sure I have the dignity to spare for that.

"Slow!" I force through my teeth. "It's not a goddamn race to my prostate. Jesus."

"Sorry," he whispers, but the word comes out almost a chuckle, making me roll my eyes in protest.

Still, I hold steady, refusing to admit he might've been right about the whole not being ready thing, and will my body to relax as he invades it. Closing my eyes, I try to keep my brain busy while my ass adjusts.

I am strong.

I am horny.

I can take it up the ass.

People do this everyday. They don't die. They don't need a donut to sit on afterward. Liam certainly didn't. It'll be alright.

"Holy shit," Cam pants behind me. "This is… Oh God. Holy shit, Kitcat."

He sounds nearly as unhinged as I am, or was, but his beast of a cock is so distracting, it sort of fucks with my euphoria, and the sex high I was feeling a few seconds ago is a distant memory.

The orgasm that had been taunting me for the last twenty minutes or so fades away, and my dick starts to go a little limp. That realization has me on the verge of tears—I wanted that release so bad—right up until the head of Cam's cock bumps into my prostate, and my body lights up like a carnival coming to life.

Air is sucked from my lungs so fast, I feel lightheaded. My dick plumps, becoming so obnoxiously hard that I'm half convinced it's tripled in weight. And that burn I felt a second ago vanishes, replaced by a need that borders on animalistic.

"Move," I grunt, somewhat shocked to realize I have the presence of mind to speak. It's only when I feel Cam's muffled response on the place where my neck meets my collarbone that it registers he's biting me, most likely to stave off his own release. Or a scream.

The notion of either makes me hotter than it should.

"Move," I repeat. And mercifully, he does.

Slowly at first, like he's testing our limits. He pulls out to the tip before pressing in again, a mangled groan rumbling up his throat. I'd question whether he was physically in pain if it weren't for the fact that groan is quickly followed by a whimper.

He does it again, and I hold my breath, feeling every last inch of him brushing along my channel.

Now my ass and my cock feel like they're gonna burst, and being stimulated in both places at once has me nearly delirious with desire.

Shoving my face in a pillow to muffle my cries, I push back against Cam to let him know I'm good. He takes the hint and starts thrusting rhythmically, and the slick slide of his dick inside me brings me right back to the brink of nirvana.

Despite willing my muscles to stay loose so I can get the full effect of having his cock inside me, my ass clenches around him like it wants him to stay put. That seems to drive him wild, given his accelerated pace, and he slam his crown against my prostate with each thrust.

My swollen dick rubs against the mattress as he pounds into me, and my hand drifts toward it to offer the attention it so desperately needs. But before I can make contact Cam's grabs me by the wrist and holds my arm to the bed.

"Thought you wanted to come untouched," he growls in my ear, and that deep rumbly tone is so laced with sex it makes the tip of my cock fucking weep.

"It… hurts… Cam," I babble, unable to tell him that yes, I did want that, but my aching cock can't hold off any longer.

"Need me to hold your dick, Kitcat?"

"Ungh," I try to agree. Fortunately, Cam doesn't need me to use my words to know what I want. He wraps his fist around my dick and starts pumping in concert with his thrusting hips, and I swear it only takes him three strokes before I erupt. Only this eruption isn't limited to my cock. My ass is pulsing too, squeezing the life out of Cam's dick if his breathless moans are any indication, and as my own tremors start to fade, I realize I can feel his. Deep inside me.

The pleasure is an onslaught that robs me of the ability to see, to hear, even to breathe. All I can do is lie here while my body quivers from the shockwaves coursing through it, much like Cam's is doing behind me, and the fact he's holding me steady to his chest while we fall apart damn near has my eyes leaking.

I was expecting intense, but on the verge of tears is a whole other level of mind fuckery.

That's the most potent orgasm I ever experienced, and yes that's the physical result I was hoping for. Although, I could say the same for every orgasm I've had with Cam, but while this release was physically more powerful than any other, it's also more emotionally powerful.

I mean, another person is inside my body. And if I want to get really deep, it isn't just any other person joined to me, it's my best friend. My best friend who is clutching me to him like I'm his most prized possession. Like I might break if he lets me go .

And in this moment, I don't want him to let me go.

I want to stay here where I feel safe, and understood, and whole.

What in the ever-loving fuck is happening?

The part of me that's always had a complicated relationship with sex wants to say Cam has a magic dick. But the part of me that can acknowledge something way beyond incredible sex just happened here knows it isn't that simple.

I don't know what that means yet, so I'll just stay here and pretend to be exhausted until one of us gets a cramp or has to pee or something.

Unfortunately, neither of those instances break the silence. It's Cam, who sounds way more tentative than he should given the way he just owned me.

"Are you…uh. Did I hurt you?" He brings his hand to my hip and rests it there, spooning me as his withering cock slips out of my hole.

"Don't think so, but I'll know for sure when I try to sit down later." I try to lighten the mood.

"Be serious for a minute, Kitcat. I don't think I've ever fucked anyone that hard and it was your first time. Was it too much?"

"It was everything I wanted it to be," I tell him honestly, squirming slightly when I feel his release seep out and dribble down my butt cheek.

"We didn't use protection," he says softly.

I roll to my back so he can see my wicked smirk and, hopefully, find it normal. "Seeing as how we've already come in each other's mouths, I'd say that ship sailed well before you put your dick in me. Besides, I trust you."

The corner of his mouth tries to mirror mine, but he's still too in his head. "You're really good?"

"I'm so good the only thing bothering me is I'm too spent to return the favor." I gesture to my limp cock. "But as soon as I'm ready, you better watch out. I want a turn at your ass. If you want to give it to me."

He flops onto his back next to me. "Yeah, Kitcat. I'll give it to you."