12. Asher

ASHER

S elene, Taig, my uncle, and I stood in one of our meeting rooms. This one was slightly larger and could accommodate ten people comfortably, but there were only four of us present. We were discussing the results of yesterday's hunt and how we planned on rationing the meat.

"We managed to kill five moose and twenty-seven rabbits," I said. "That should square up our food stores for another week if we send some men to fish." There were a little under four hundred people in our combined packs, and two-thirds of that number were Daggers.

"That's good to hear," Selene said. She was wearing a cotton emerald dress held closed with pearl-white shell buttons down the front. "Were there any casualties?"

"No, just a few injured." Including me. Connor had swiped at my back, but I hadn't noticed it until I finished training. The sweat I'd built up made the wound sting. After this meeting, I intended to go to the infirmary to have it looked at. Healing had been a bit slower since Edgar got control of the curse, but I didn't see a need to rush.

It annoyed the hell out of me that the prick had succeeded at hurting me at all. I wanted to face him again, but this time I'd do more than let him fall off the side of the butte. I'd make it hurt.

The bloodlust in those thoughts gave me pause. I wasn't used to being so violent. I had no personal beef with Connor—it was his father I needed to kill. But thinking of him made my blood boil. I'd make sure to bring that up with the doctor. Goddess forbid my rage was related to the curse… or maybe it was jealousy of his history with Phaedra.

I stopped that thought there. I shouldn't have been thinking about her at that moment.

"The damages we suffered were minimal," I said, looking at Selene. "And we have enough of a bounty that we can give you more than usual to take back to your pack."

She smiled and touched my arm. "Thanks for keeping the Coldcrow in mind, Asher."

"Of course. We're partners after all." I placed my hand over hers and returned her smile. At least I was playing the part of the dutiful fiancé pretty well. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Taig look down.

"Having such a bounty will last us a while," he said, watching the floor. "But it would be much more efficient if we could get in there and kill Edgar now."

Selene nodded. "It would be great if we could get someone on the inside to help out."

Taig and I glanced at her at the same time. For a moment, we were both worried she had found out about Phaedra, but her face was friendly and unsuspicious. I almost sighed with relief. We were still in the clear there.

"We have someone working on that," I said.

Taig gave me a look that was too pointed for my liking. "Has that person yielded anything useful?"

"Not yet," I said. "But I'm working closely with them."

"Do I know your man on the inside?" Selene asked. "Is he one of mine?"

"She, actually," Taig said. "And no, she's part of the Wilcox pack."

Both my uncle and I looked sharply at my right-hand. Why was he giving Selene more information than necessary? His answering wince told me that he didn't know why he'd been so honest either.

"Oh." She let go of my arm. "Well, I can't say that I approve of someone betraying her own people, but if it helps us, I won't complain."

An awkward silence followed. I sent another subtle glare Taig's way. Of course, Selene would see issue with that. She'd literally fought and bled to become alpha of her pack. Taig was normally so tight-lipped about our affairs. Why did that change when Selene was around?

My uncle cleared his throat, bringing all of us back to the topic at hand. "The hunt was a small win, but we need to do better. We're running out of time, and if our little spy comes up with nothing, the only other option is for us to stage an all-out attack. If worse comes to worse, we'll have to storm the pack on the morning of Connor's ascension."

"Agreed," I said. We weren't sure if we'd be able to pull off that kind of operation, that was why it was a last resort. The only other thing we could do was see if Edgar showed up the next time we needed to hunt on Wilcox land.

The ascension was in two weeks. That didn't leave me a ton of time to try and get information from Phaedra.

When the meeting finished, I felt the pull to shift. Taig went to check on his duties, and my uncle was overseeing training today. The two of them left Selene and I alone in the meeting room. By the time the door closed behind them, I was in my wolf form and shaking out my fur.

She crouched and patted my head with a smile. "Why don't we take a walk?"

I inclined my head. A walk did sound nice. We left the meeting room and began to walk the curving, spiral streets.

The formation of cabins had been established two hundred years ago. Our infirmary, school, and market were in the center of the spiral. The next rings were where the families lived, and the outermost rings were where my soldiers lived. The thought behind the design was to keep the most vulnerable of my pack protected, but an added bonus was that the Dagger pack had a unique and beautifully structured village.

The cabins were built from a combination of pine wood, concrete, and brick. Our homes were sturdy and built to withstand the weather, and the streets themselves were dirt that had been made compact from decades of use—generations of Dagger pack members walking over it until it was smooth enough for our carts and wheelbarrows.

I felt a lot of pride when I walked the spiral streets. Each cabin had been personalized with paint, lanterns, and homemade art. Each family had made their homes their own. I loved watching my people live and thrive, whether they were farming or working on a new cabin or training. It made my heart full to see them going about their business.

I loved my people deeply. They were my family, and I would die for each one of them. Not a single one of them deserved to suffer under this curse.

Selene let out a long, sad sigh. "It'll be great when this place is back to the way it used to be."

I looked up at her, but without being able to speak, I couldn't ask her what she meant. But the pitying frown on her face rubbed me the wrong way.

"Life here is so stilted compared to when your father was still alive," she said, disappointment evident in her voice. "Work can only be done when the curse isn't forcing you into your wolf forms, and it's clear that your people are worse off because of that."

I would've frowned were I in my human form. Yes, it was true that my pack wasn't as well-off as it could have been if we weren't at the mercy of the curse, but it was my opinion that their resilience was what made us so strong. Despite the curse, we had accomplished so much in the six months since my father had died. We still functioned, still worked hard. We had so much that worked for us, and that was what I saw when I looked at my people.

Selene's words chafed. Of anyone, I would've thought she would see the beauty in the strength of my people, but her comment was almost an insult to myself and my pack. We weren't as unfortunate as she made it sound. My pack didn't need pity but the support and conviction of its leadership. I could give that to my and Selene's people any day, but for the first time since we made this alliance, I wondered if she could say the same.

Maybe I should give her the benefit of the doubt that what she was saying wasn't meant to come off as insulting as it did, but I knew she'd be bothered if I said anything similar about the Coldcrow. She should understand an alpha took pride in their pack first and foremost. It was probably for the best I couldn't respond. Fortunately, she changed the subject.

About half an hour later, we reached the end of the spiral, and a flash of blue caught my eye. I stopped in my tracks, turning my face instinctively, remembering that a similar flash had occurred just before a blinding light temporarily took away my sight. The last time I'd seen that flash was the night I bit Phaedra.

"Asher, is that you?" The voice was unfamiliar.

I opened my eyes and found a blue pix fluttering near me. Pix weren't really a rare sight on my territory, but I knew this one didn't live nearby. She was friends with Phaedra.

Thinking of my mate, my wolf perked up, our tail wagging. It was impossible to keep his reactions in check, so I returned to my human form before Selene noticed. My wolf simply wasn't to be trusted.

"It's me," I said. "What does a pix want with me?"

"Well…" She glanced at Selene. I watched the thoughts churn in her mind as she thought through what to say. "Our… mutual friend needs help. She's in the usual place."

At least the pix could be discreet. "Understood."

"Who's your mutual friend?" Selene asked, crossing her arms. "Is this about?—"

"Yes, probably," I interjected. I didn't want her to say something the pix could feed back to Phaedra. Ideally, these two women would never meet. "Please don't worry yourself about it."

"You need to hurry," the pix said. "Your assistance is needed right now ."

I nodded, and the pix flitted away. She didn't need to elaborate. Phaedra must have been in severe pain if she'd sent her friend to me. I saw a member of my pack emerging from the forest with foraged herbs, and I asked her to let Taig know I had something to take care of off-territory. Taig would know I'd be with Phaedra.

With my bases covered, I assured Selene we could catch up later, then I shifted again and raced to Heartbridge Cave. I'd already wasted too much time.

When I reached the cave, I smelled the sweet, spiced aroma of her heat. She was lying on our rock, and her skin glimmered with a fine sheen of sweat. The heat had taken full hold of her. My heart twisted at seeing her in so much pain. I lay next to her and slipped an arm under her head, pulling her against me. With my free hand, I pushed her hair off her forehead.

She opened her eyes and smiled. "Asher, you came," she breathed. I was naked, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Of course I did, Phaedra," I said gently, kissing her. "Tell me what you need me to do." There were little alarm bells going off in my brain, a warning that I was getting too close to her. But she was looking at me with such wide, blue eyes, there was nothing I could do but be close to her.

"Please touch me."

"Yes." I kissed her cheek and tasted the sweet salt of her sweat. I let my kisses trail down the side of her neck and licked at the spot where I felt her pulse beat. She whimpered, and the sound of it made my cock twitch. She'd never made a sound like that when we kissed before. Was her neck particularly sensitive, or was it just because she was in heat?

"More," she whispered.

I obliged, slipping my hand under her shirt to rub her stomach. Her skin was cold, and the moment I touched her, goosebumps spread across her body. I continued to kiss her neck, my cock throbbing. There was something I could do that would end her suffering right now, but that couldn't be an option. Not in my wildest dreams.

I lifted my lips from her neck to her ear. "How's this?"

She trembled and shook her head. "It's so g-good," she breathed. "But not enough."

Short of having sex with her, the next best thing was to get her off another way. The idea of doing it made my heart race.

"Do I have your permission to do more?" I asked. "I need an answer."

She huffed, then shoved her pants and underwear down. "Yes, for the love of Holo, please…"

I almost laughed. Even in this vulnerable state, she could be so feisty. "All right."

My hand slipped lower on her stomach, then even lower to the heat of her pussy. My fingers were slick the moment I dipped between those lower lips. My heart raced. Goddess, she was wet.

She writhed, moaning though I'd barely touched her. Oh, she needed this badly. Under normal circumstances, I might have teased her for her desperation, but these weren't normal circumstances, and I didn't have the luxury of wasting any more time.

Her clit pulsed under my fingers, and I circled the sensitive bud. She gasped, her hands balling into fists at her sides, and she twitched against the rock.

"Yes, Asher," she moaned, her eyes slipping closed. "Just like that."

I bit my lip, watching her. The pleasure I gave her made her eyebrows knit together and her nose scrunch. She was adorable… and so damn ravishing. My cock twitched with the desire to be inside her, to finish her off. If I could, what sorts of expressions would she make?

I nuzzled her temple, and she let out a tiny gasp. She spread her legs wide, and her hands gripped my forearm.

"Ah," she whimpered, and turned her face toward mine.

I pressed my lips to her forehead. "You are so beautiful," I murmured. "So lovely."

I was the only one who got to see her make such wonderful expressions. I was the one who got to hear her make these arousing whimpers. I was supposed to keep an emotional distance from her, but this felt special and important. I just wished she didn't have to be in pain for us to have this experience together.

"I'm cl-close," she said. "Don't stop."

"I know," I replied, kissing her cheek again. "I've got you."

She whimpered again, her hands tightening around my arm. Her back arched off the rock, and her mouth opened in a silent scream. Warmth gushed into my hand. The expression on her face was one of infinite bliss and relief.

When the orgasm passed, she settled against the rock again, trembling and breathing hard. Reluctantly, I removed my hand. It was still slick with her essence strung like spider silk between my fingers.

"Thank you," she panted, those gorgeous eyes trapping me in their gaze. Her face was flushed rose-pink. "I've never, ever come that hard before."

Those words shot strain to my crotch, making my already hard cock even harder. Suddenly, I wasn't sure I could keep it together. I let out a shaky breath. "Careful," I murmured. "You shouldn't be saying that around me. Not right now."

She propped herself up on her elbow. "Why not—oh." Her gaze dropped to my cock, and she slapped a hand to her mouth.

"Yeah. Oh." I sat up. My hand was still damp with her essence. I was aching with need, and I couldn't ask her to?—

"Do you… want my help with that?" she asked.

The question made me jump. A thousand responses popped into my brain, but what made it out was, "Would you?"

She nodded. "I ought to return the favor. It's the least I can do for you, right?"

"I…" I swallowed hard. "Then, if you don't mind..."

She turned her body toward mine and tossed that lovely hair over her shoulder. Resting her head on my shoulder, Phaedra took my cock in her hand. Her fingers just barely reached around the shaft.

"Goddess," she said, her tentative strokes filling my body with fire. "You'd make any woman happy."

I groaned and turned my face into her hair. "You can't say things like that."

"Why not?" She increased the pace of her stroking. "It's true."

Her touch felt divine. She seemed to get more confident as the seconds passed, gripping me more firmly, pumping harder and faster.

A groan tore through me, and I leaned back on my elbows and let my head fall back. My body was on fire. It wasn't the first time a woman had touched me like this, but I was already too pent-up for helping her out. I was seconds away from coming already. I was so taken with ecstasy of her touch, I didn't stop myself when my hand, still covered in her wetness, went to my mouth. The sweet taste of her eased over my tongue as I sucked my fingers clean. It was just the extra push I needed.

My body tensed, and I growled in pleasure. Phaedra let out another surprised "Oh," as I came hard.

When I was spent, I collapsed back on the rock and let out a long breath. I threw my arm over my eyes. The experience left me breathless, and as I lay there, I realized it had also left me feeling very relaxed.

"Thank you," I whispered. My face still felt hot.

"You don't have to thank me," she said. "I've never done anything like that before."

I grinned. "Could've fooled me."

She giggled, and I felt the tickle of her hair on my chest as she leaned over to kiss me. My heart pounded against my ribs. She'd taste herself on my tongue, wouldn't she?

Phaedra suddenly pulled back, as if she'd read my thoughts. When I moved my arm from my eyes to my forehead, I saw her expression had become playful. No… mischievous.

"What?" I demanded.

"I made it all the way to this cave on my own," she said. "But when I got here, I smelled something that intensified my heat. I couldn't figure out what it was until now." She poked my chest. "You came the last time we were here, didn't you? Only you were all by yourself then."

My face flamed. I opened my mouth to deny it, but what was the point? She already knew the truth, and she read as much in my embarrassed expression.

"I couldn't help it," I muttered, averting my gaze.

"No?" She was smirking.

A week ago, I'd have hated that she had the upper hand in this conversation, but right now, I didn't mind. Even though it was embarrassing to admit, warmth spread through me to know she was comfortable with me after what we'd done for each other.

And maybe I could be a little bold, too.

I moved my arm from my forehead so I could touch her cheek. "I've wanted you for a while now, Phaedra."

At my admission, her eyes widened slightly, and her cheeks reddened again. I gazed at her, determined to commit this expression to memory. She was so beautiful.

"I wish I could…" make you mine for real . That was the thought I couldn't finish. I couldn't be that bold.

"Yes?" she whispered.

"Nothing." I let my hand fall from her cheek and turned away from her. "Forget I said anything."

She gasped. I couldn't count the number of times that had happened this evening. "Wait, Asher, you're hurt."

"I am?" Right. I'd forgotten about the skirmish I'd had with Connor's men. "It's nothing."

Phaedra prodded the skin around my gently. "It looks so painful."

"It's not so bad." It'd hurt like a bitch when Connor swiped me, but she didn't need to know that. "I've lived through worse."

"Yeah, I know." Her hands smoothed over my shoulders. "You've got the scars to prove it."

"Mm," I agreed, enjoying the feel of her fingers caressing my skin. With an internal jolt, I realized it might be the first time she'd ever encountered someone with these kinds of battle scars. She'd grown up in the care of the very wealthy. Connor, I was sure, didn't have many battle wounds on him, if any. The pampered future alpha of the Wilcox pack hadn't grown up with the physical training I had. His skin wouldn't be puckered or marred like mine.

"Do they… bother you?" I asked, glancing at her over my shoulder.

She shook her head. "No, they don't."

Relief bloomed through me.

"These scratches could get infected if you don't do anything about them."

"I was planning to go to a doctor, but I had someone in need I needed to see to." I caught her blush before I turned my face from her again. "But don't worry about it."

Her hand stilled on my shoulder. "I am worried about it, though. Would you mind if I cleaned your wounds? I'm not a doctor, but I know first aid."

Her offer struck me straight in the chest, and my heartbeat quickened. When was the last time someone had offered to look after me?

"I wouldn't mind."

"Okay, just hold tight. I'll get some water." I heard the rustle of clothing as she pulled her pants on.

"Don't take too long," I said.

"I won't!" she called as she jogged off.

It took her just a few minutes to reach Lake Superior and return. She had a damp cloth and a little glass jar filled with something green.

"Told you it wouldn't take me long." As she sat down, she pushed on my shoulder, so I was lying on my stomach. "Let me know if I hurt you, okay?"

"Right."

She wrung out the cloth, and cool water poured over my scratches. It made me shiver, but it felt nice. I could hardly remember the last time someone had taken care of me, and here Phaedra was doing it for the second time today. I'd had people do favors for me, but usually that was because I was the son of the alpha. This, however, was a simple show of affection and, once again, I was struck by how special it felt.

She blotted away the excess water with the damp cloth. "El used this salve on me the day you and I met, and we left it here," she said, smoothing the stuff over my back. "I'm sorry if this stings a little."

"It's not so bad," I said. "Actually, I kind of like it." The sting was just slightly itchy, not nearly enough to be irritating. "Does it come in a small jar?"

I heard the smile in her voice as she said, "Actually, yeah." She showed it to me. The jar looked like it wouldn't hold more than an ounce or so of the salve. I could imagine the little blue pix carrying that around in her arms.

"Did you get this wound while you were on Wilcox pack lands?"

"Yeah, I—wait, how did you know about that?"

"I heard about it at Connor's mansion," she said.

I didn't like when she said his name out loud, but the tone of her voice told me she wasn't any happier about saying it.

"What were you doing there?"

"He invited me up there today. He wanted to get me fitted for a dress for his ascension."

Indignation flared through me. She went there to see him? "And you went?" I demanded.

"Hey, hey." Her tone tried to soothe me. "I didn't have a choice but to go. He sent Randall to get me."

My wolf growled, and I wanted to do the same thing. Connor's right-hand was a terror on the battlefield. Picturing Phaedra in Connor's arms was bad enough, but the thought of Randall touching her with hands that only knew how to destroy? I couldn't stand it.

"He said he wants to reinstate my status in the pack."

"I see." Since she was finished with the salve, I sat up and looked at her. She avoided looking at me. Her eyebrows knit together, marring her forehead with worry lines. I wanted to smooth those lines out of her delicate skin. At the same time, the thought of her being back in high-wolf society bothered me. Most people in her position would jump at the opportunity, but I couldn't read how she felt about it.

"I get the impression there's something else you want to tell me," I said.

She nodded. "I was wearing perfume, but I was starting to feel the full brunt of being in heat. I think he noticed."

"Are you saying he knows you can shift?"

She gave a small smirk, an endearing flash of defiance in her storm-gray eyes. "It was way too close for comfort, but no. Connor's pretty dense. I doubt he'd be able to put it together on his own."

I laughed a bit. "I get you. But if your secret is safe, then why do you look so upset?"

Her smirk disappeared, and as she sobered, so did I. "He has plans for me."

"What do you mean?"

"On my way out, Connor's sister passed me a note that said he was planning on giving me as a ‘gift' to Randall."

I growled again. She didn't need to explain what that meant.

"I won't let that happen to you," I said, taking her hand in mine.

She didn't say anything, just looked at me for a while, then leaned her head on my shoulder. I didn't know what her silence meant, but I wondered if she knew I probably wouldn't be able to keep that promise. It wasn't safe for her to be unclaimed, not now Connor had her in his sights again, but I wasn't in a position to do anything about that.

I had to take Selene as my mate. I owed that to her and to my pack. The sins of my father was an ever-present weight on my shoulders. I couldn't end up like him, driven crazy enough to doom his own pack because the woman he loved had died. Phaedra was offering information, and I owed it to my pack to get more from her.

"Where did Connor talk to you?" I asked. "Did he take you to his room?"

She shook her head. "No, we were in the main hall, a few yards from the front entrance. His room is near the south wing of the manor."

That wasn't incredibly useful for finding Edgar, but if I outright asked where his rooms were, I wasn't sure Phaedra would tell me. At least, I had a better idea of the manor's layout.

"I should get going," she said suddenly.

I reached for her hand as she stood. When my fingers brushed across the fated mark, Phaedra shivered.

"I want to see you again," I blurted. "Soon."

"You do?" She seemed as surprised to hear it as I was to say it.

I expected her to ask why I wanted to see her or to tell me she had other plans, but she nodded.

"Okay. We'll meet around the same time on Friday?"

I nodded. "Sounds good."

"Okay." She hesitated a few seconds, and I realized I was still holding her wrist. I quickly let it go.

She waved as she stepped out of the cave. I stared after her, the night's events playing through my mind. I thought about the expressions she'd made while I pleasured her, and the way she smiled at me after she made me come. Soon, I was feeling hot all over again.

I had no idea what I should do about Connor. All I did know was that I wanted to put my knot in Phaedra so badly I wasn't sure if I could keep holding myself back.