CHAPTER TWENTY

"Because you're stilldrinking, Mrs. Kai, I'm afraid we cannot put you on the waitlist for a transplant," Dr. Maxwell said. "As we've discussed."

Leilani glanced at her mom, who sat beside her.

No response.

The doctor continued. "Meanwhile, we'll need to put you on antibiotics as you have a mild infection, which is the cause of the swelling in your ankles and abdomen. Alcohol interferes with the effectiveness of the antibiotics, so I must insist you refrain from any alcoholic intake for at least a week."

"I'll cut back," her mom said.

She won't.

Dr. Maxwell studied her, then nodded. "I'm not going to lie, Mrs. Kai, this is getting serious now. When we see infections like this appear, it means your immune system is extremely compromised."

Leilani blanched, her chest clenching.

"Mom."

"Stop," her mom quietly snapped at her. "Let him finish."

Ugh.

"If you gave your liver a chance to heal, then we could turn this around. I can't promise anything, as it will be up to your body, but the liver is an amazing organ. Its regenerative capabilities are excellent. Under the right conditions."

"Without alcohol, he means," Leilani said.

"Yes, thank you, Leilani," her mom sneered.

"Well, you don't seem to be getting it! And we are all telling you the same thing." Leilani suddenly cried, unable to keep her words inside.

"I can't stop. Tell her, doctor," her mom wailed. "Tell her it's not that easy."

"It is easy. You just stop. Or do you want to die? Am I not motivating enough to live for?" Leilani yelled.

Leilani didn't care she was embarrassing herself in front of the doctor. She couldn't just sit back and let her mother drink herself into a grave.

She was already one foot inside.

She was and didn't seem to care one bit.

"Leilani, your mom is an alcoholic," Dr. Maxwell said, sending shockwaves through her.

Leilani's mouth fell open as his words sunk in. It wasn't like she didn't know, but hearing someone say it so bluntly was a slap in the face.

It forced her to face what she didn't want. The knowledge that her mom couldn't stop. Not today. Not tomorrow. Probably never.

Certainly not before her body gave out.

And that was if she wanted to give it up.

She didn't.

"Alcoholism is a disease. One that can happen over time when people use alcohol to manage loss and stress," Dr. Maxwell shared. "Some people are unable to manage their intake and a dependency develops."

"Then an addiction." Leilani glanced at her mom pitifully.

"God, you're both making me out to be some pathetic creature. My husband died. I brought you back here to the mainland to get your education. I raised you on my own, Lani. All on my own. So what if I had a few drinks now and then to get me through the loss of your father and all the long, hard days?"

"Few drinks, Mom? Really?" Leilani said. "I love you, you know that, but you've been either tipsy or drunk nearly every day of my life."

"Everyone drinks. Why do you think it's sold everywhere?" She scoffed and Leilani glanced at the doctor, seeking help. "Clearly, my body isn't as strong as others."

The doctor gave her a quick shake of his head, indicating she shouldn't bother trying to argue.

Leilani sat back in her seat, accepting the facts. Her mom was an addict. She would lie and conjure up excuses that she'd fight until her last breath. There was nothing she could do to make her change her mind.

If her very existence wasn't enough to make her mom fight to stay alive, then nothing surely would.

As they were leaving, the doctor pulled Leilani aside.

"Make sure you look after yourself as your mom declines," Dr. Maxwell said, laying a hand on her shoulder. "It's very unlikely she'll be able to control her intake of alcohol, so it's not going to get better."

"How long does she have?" Leilani asked shakily.

"It's hard to know. We'll have to see how her body reacts to the antibiotics."

She thanked him and paid.

When they got home, she made dinner, took a shower, then headed downstairs to say goodnight and found her mom sitting with a photo album on her knee.

"He loved you so much, Lani," she said, running her fingers over a photo of her dad outside their home in Hawaii.

Leilani sat down, leaning a head on her mom's shoulder, and said softly, "I miss him, too."

"He died too early. He was taken from me," her mom whispered.

"And me," Lani reminded her.

"One day you'll love a man and understand this pain." She dropped the album onto her knee, then brushed a lock of hair from Leilani's brow as tears dampened her eyes. "I know I've failed you as a mother, and I'm sorry. I'm not a strong woman. I never was," she said, letting out a sad laugh. "Your father said it was one reason he loved me. That I was dependent on him and would never leave."

"Instead, he left us," Leilani said.

"Yes. Not by choice. The car accident was just that. An accident. But it took him from us abruptly, and I wasn't prepared to live the rest of my life without him."

No one expects to live without those they love, but death is a part of life. Does that mean you let it destroy yours? Or realize how damn lucky you are to still be here and make the most of what could be the only time you ever have on this magical earth.

Even science tells us the chances of all of this existing, the birds, the trees, the lakes, the mountains, the oceans, all of us, is an almost impossibility.

Yet many of us live our lives like we're inmates in hell, hating life, hating one another.

Then when life is taken from someone, we're surprised.

When our health declines, we panic and fight to stay alive.

Why don't we live more in gratitude and awe for the simple magic that we have been given?

Tears tipped over the edge and slid down her face.

"If you believe you aren't strong, then you won't be. That's not the right mindset, Mom. Maybe Dad was wrong. Maybe you weren't dependent, you were just in love." Leilani tried. "You raised me on your own. That takes strength. Shift the way you think and fight for your life, Mom."

You could choose to stay here and be my mom. You could choose not to leave me.

"Or maybe I want your dad to be right? Maybe I am ready to be back with him now?" Her mom glanced away with a hint of shame.

Leilani dropped her face, taking in the photos of her childhood as the tears dripped freely. It was pretty clear her mom had been thinking about these things for a long time.

She thought by dying she would be reconnected with her husband. No one knew if that was true. But she had a daughter sitting right in front of her who needed her.

Instead, she was choosing to leave.

"So, you want to be with him?" she croaked through her tears.

"Yes," her mom replied, and Leilani could smell the booze on her breath.

As Leilani's world came crashing down around her, she let her mom wrap her in her arms and cried against her chest. There wasn't anything more she could say. It was time to stop fighting and just love her until the end.

When Leilani finally straightened, a protective layer had formed around her heart. She kissed her mom on the cheek and then climbed off the sofa.

If she was going to get through this alone, she would have to be strong.

"I have an early start. Don't forget to take your antibiotics," Leilani said as she walked upstairs.

When she climbed into bed, she turned off the light and lay staring into the darkness. Her mind eventually returned to Jacob and the kiss they'd shared at the museum.

It had felt so much more than the seductive dirty kisses on Friday night. It had been laced with meaning and feelings that had no place existing between them.

You should have run.

Was Jacob schizo-damn-phrenic? One minute he was saying she should run, the next he was inviting her away to a family weekend.

Leilani wanted more details about what she was there to buffer. These so-called complications. What if the Dufort family had a whole lot of hidden secrets she was walking into?

She'd canceled the lunch she had planned with Vanessa and Amy, saying she was going away for the weekend.

Amy had rung her.

"Is it a man? I knew you had someone. Was it the same guy who put the hickey on your neck?"

"Amy, it wasn't a hickey." Leilani had laughed.

Because it wasn't. It was a bruise from being strangled.

Better not clear that one up.

"But yes, it's a guy. We're just friends. Well, more than friends, but it's not serious." Leilani cringed, knowing how bad that sounded.

This is why she hated speaking on the phone.

"Oh. So, just friends with benefits?" Amy's judgment was clear in her tone.

"Friends. Who had sex. I'm an adult. It's what adults do." Leilani rubbed her forehead, hoping her battery would suddenly die. "Not all of us meet our soulmates in college, Ames."

Silence.

"Well, as long as you are happy," she replied, sounding about as honest as a politician.

"Have a nice Easter and if that baby comes, ring me immediately." Leilani smiled.

"I'm still three weeks away. I think it will come on time," Amy said.

She wouldn't be surprised. Everything Amy did in her life was very planned and structured.

Now, as she wondered about what was waiting for her in the Hamptons this weekend, her mind got the better of her, so she reached for the phone and texted Jacob.

Exactly how complicated are we talking?

...

She waited a whole five minutes before Jacob finally answered.

I'll tell you everything in the chopper on the way.

What?

Holy hell. She was flying in a helicopter to the Hamptons to spend Easter with the Dufort's.

Not how she saw her weekend going.

––––––––

JACOB DROPPED HIS phoneand nudged Sara Michelle away. He'd never lost his mojo so fast as the moment Leilani messaged.

Mojo equals erection. Just in case there is any confusion.

He'd been seconds from getting a blow job when his phone beeped. The fact he had his phone turned on and right next to him spoke volumes.

Not that he'd been expecting a message from Leilani, but...well maybe in the back of his mind he thought if she had messaged, he'd want to reply.

Normally his phone was silent and/or ignored.

But this girl, she made him want to be a different man. God, her mom was sick.

How sick?

And here he was, being the asshole by dragging Leilani away from the woman for a few days. It had been eating at him for the past few hours.

Where was her dad?

And why the fuck didn't he know the answers to any of this stuff? They'd spent two nights together. He should care about her damn parents, at the very least.

Not that he knew anything much about the other women he fucked. Then again, he didn't take any of them on family vacations.

"What's happening right now?" Sara Michelle asked.

"I'm going downstairs," Jacob said, and when she climbed to her feet, he added, "Alone."

"Fuck, oh yeah, fuckkk," Carter called out as his orgasm struck. "Baby, do that again. Jacob! You leaving?"

Jacob shook his head and grinned.

Only Carter would try having a conversation and orgasm at the same time.

"Yeah, got a headache." He smirked, then reached for his Armani jacket, lifted his hand, giving his friend the bird, and walked out.

"You don't love me anymore," Carter cried out.

Jacob laughed and walked down the stairs, not stopping until he was outside, and climbed into his Porsche. Fortunately, he'd only had two drinks and was fine to drive.

He started the engine and let it warm up as he swiped open his phone.

Leilani hadn't replied.

Sleep well, princess.