Chapter 35

Cat spent two days at The Grove.

Thankfully, Dr. Armani was already on his way when I called. It didn't make me feel any less concerned when he explained why Athena had been staying around so long. He believed that Athena, the more emotional of Cat's personalities, was closer to the surface because of all the changes lately and the heightened emotions she's been feeling.

I stayed at The Grove the entire time. Nothing could have pulled me away. The few hours of sleep I managed to get were in the room beside hers.

Ginger wanted to stay until Cat was Cat again, but I sent her home to her family. She only agreed when I promised to call her if anything changed. I also called Peggy and Jacob to inform them of the situation. They wanted to visit, but since Cat had never met them as Athena, I didn't want to introduce anyone new to her.

We're finally home and everything seems to be back to normal. Cat's parents just left after stopping by for a couple of hours and having a late lunch. If I had my way, I would have waited a few more days before having family over—I wasn't ready to share her just yet—but I knew how worried Peggy and Jacob were. I did draw the line at Ginger and her crew coming over. Instead, Cat and I made plans to visit them soon.

Since we've been home, I haven't let Cat out of my sight. Literally, with the exception of when one of us has to use the restroom. Wherever she goes, I follow. I'm fucking terrified that if I lose sight of her something will happen or she'll disappear again.

I'm sitting at the bar in the kitchen, glass of whiskey in hand, while Cat wipes down the counters. I've been watching her for the last five minutes and in those minutes I've seen several emotions cross her face.

"Come here," I say, downing the rest of my drink and setting the glass on the counter.

After throwing the rag in the sink, she walks around the bar. When she's within reach, I swivel my stool and pull her between my legs.

"What are you thinking?" I ask.

She tucks a chunk of hair behind her ear, her eyes moving to mine before darting away, only to come back. "I have a doctor's appointment in a few days."

"With Dr. Armani?"

"No. Dr. Wells."

Dr. Wells is Cat's primary care physician. Unless she's sick, she sees her once every six months for regular checkups. She last saw her about three months ago, so she shouldn't be due yet.

"What are you seeing Dr. Wells for?"

She doesn't answer right away. Instead, she chews on her lip with a frown wrinkling her forehead.

"Cat?" I prompt.

"I'm late."

Immediately, I understand what she means. Her statement can only mean one thing.

"How late?" I ask, trying like hell to keep my body relaxed.

"I didn't realize until this afternoon that I'm over a month past my period. My birth control isn't due for another three months though."

"It could just be stress."

Though she nods slowly, her troubled expression suggests she doesn't truly believe it. "It could be."

"Either way, we'll get through it." I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her closer to me.

In the five years since our children were taken from us, having more is one subject we've never discussed. Of course, until recently, Cat believed we never had children. With what happened, I believe she never thought about having children because it might have brought back memories of Eliana and Ryder.

For myself, I've thought about it occasionally over the years, but never seriously. I'm not opposed to having more children, but I also don't need them to feel fulfilled. My only concern is what it would do to Cat. Ryder and Eliana could never be replaced, but would having a baby help or hinder her healing?

Cat looks as if the idea of her being pregnant weighs heavily on her mind.

"How would you feel if you were pregnant?" I ask cautiously and watch her expression.

Her lip goes back between her teeth. "I'm not sure," she replies slowly. "In a way, it feels like we just lost Eli and Ryder, so it's still so fresh." Her eyes glisten and she sniffs and blinks back tears. "It kind of feels like I would be using a new baby as a crutch, and that's no reason to bring a baby into the world."

"True." I slip my thumbs under the edge of her shirt and rub them along her lower back. "But you wouldn't love them any less than you love Eli and Ryder."

"No, I wouldn't." Cat's eyes drop to the button she's playing with on my shirt and she lowers her voice. "I also worry I would fail like I did with Eli and Ryder."

My thumb and forefinger press against her chin as I tilt her head back. Her eyes shine with unshed tears and the look obliterates my fucking heart.

"Don't ever think you failed, Cat," I tell her, my voice firm. "Our children were lucky to have you as a mother. I don't know another woman alive who loved and cherished their children more than you. And they loved you just the same. No one blames you for what happened. Not even Eli and Ryder, if they were here."

It's not hard to see she wants to believe me, desperately so, but she still doesn't. I'm not sure she ever will. Just as I'll always blame myself for not being there when my family needed me. It's a burden we'll both bear for the rest of our lives. But it's one I'm determined we'll overcome.

I pull her forward and brush my lips against hers. "I know having another baby is scary to think about. Eli and Ryder are special in every way children can be special. They'll always be in our hearts and no matter how many children we may have one day, they'll never be replaced or forgotten."

As a tear slides down her cheek, I know I've touched on one of Cat's biggest fears. She still feels guilty about pushing our children's memories away, and now that she has them back, she worries their memories will fade if we have more children.

"Any new child we have will know everything there is to know about the two beautiful babies we lost. We'll talk about them every day. Their big brother and sister won't be with them, but they'll still be a part of their lives. All of our lives."

Her cheeks turn red as she fights back more tears. She loses the battle when several manage to slip free down her cheeks. I gently kiss them away, wishing I could erase all the bad things that have ever happened to Cat. She deserves only the best things in life. Not the ugly and depraved.

We stay like that for a while, with her face pressed against my front and her forehead resting on my shoulder. My thoughts are filled with what it would be like to have another child, and I'm sure Cat's are as well.

Our tender moment is interrupted by the doorbell ringing. I press a kiss on the top of her head before I gently push her back.

"I'll be right back," I tell her before leaving the kitchen.

I check the camera beside the alarm before I press the code to disarm it. Jimmy's smiling face is there when I open the door. He's dressed in a pressed suit and his hair is slicked back, his face shaved clean. It's strange seeing him in this get-up. Usually he wears jeans and a T-shirt, with his hair less nicely kept and at least a couple days worth of growth on his face.

"Hey, Jimmy. What brings you by?"

"My piece of shit car broke down a block away," he says, pressing his hands into his pockets and rocking back on his heels. "The tow company won't be able to pick it up for a couple of hours. I figured I'd stop by for a visit since I've got time." His expression turns sheepish. "And I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I stayed while I waited for the tow truck."

Although it's not the best time, I can't turn away the man who saved my wife.

I open the door wider and gesture with my hand. "Sure. Come on in. Cat will be happy to see you."

"Thanks, Hunter."

Before I close the door, I tip my chin to Damon, who's sitting in his car out front, to let him know everything is fine.

Jimmy follows me down the hall and into the kitchen. Cat smiles brightly when she sees him.

"Jimmy! This is a pleasant surprise."

Getting up from her seat, she walks toward him, wrapping her arms around his middle. Her affection for him is unusual, but then I realize this is the first time she has seen him since she allowed her memories to surface. This man saved her life and she's just now remembering it.

Jimmy looks at me over her shoulder, his expression full of confusion, but he still wraps his arms around her.

"Hey, sweetheart," he says, patting her back awkwardly.

When she pulls back, she quickly brushes away a couple of stray tears and offers him a smile. "Just ignore me." She laughs. "Hormones."

They both sit at the bar.

"Can I get you a drink?" I ask Jimmy, reaching across the bar for my glass to refill.

"Actually, I was hoping you still had that bottle of Merlot I dropped off a while back."

I grab the bottle of Masseto Jimmy gave us for our anniversary several months ago from the cabinet by the refrigerator. The price tag for something like this is steep, so I was surprised Jimmy could afford it. Since Cat and I don't drink merlot, the bottle has sat untouched in the cabinet. I decided to keep it to share with Jimmy during one of his visits. He spent his hard-earned money when he shouldn't have, so he deserves to enjoy a glass.

"Perfect!" he says when I set it on the counter between us.

"What are we drinking to?" I ask as I grab two glasses and pour each of us one.

I slide one across the bar in front of Jimmy. He takes it and looks over at Cat. "You aren't having any?"

Cat glances at me, unsure how to answer, so I do it for her.

"There's a possibility that she may be pregnant."

Jimmy looks between the two of us, a slow smile forming on his face. "That is what we're toasting to." He holds his glass up. "To new beginnings."

Cat smiles as she lifts the glass of juice she poured for herself earlier. We each touch glasses.

"So, Jimmy, how have you been? Are you still seeing the woman you teased us with the other day?"

He sets his glass down, a proud smile splitting his lips.

"Sure am, and things are getting serious. I'll actually be seeing her tonight."

"That's great." Cat beams. "She's lucky to have you."

Jimmy laughs. "I'm not sure if she would agree with you, but I'm glad to have her in my life."

"When do we get to meet her?"

I lift my glass, holding in my grimace when the bitter taste hits my tongue. I can barely tolerate the stuff, but I let the rest slide down my throat to get it over with.

"You'll meet her soon enough, and I have no doubt you'll love her. She actually reminds me of you."

"Oh yeah? How so?"

He spins his glass by the stem. "She has the same quiet disposition as you have. She's really smart in an unassuming way. She's sweet and caring like you. And believe it or not, she's a big fan of thriller novels. She's actually read all of your books. When I told her I knew you, I thought she was going to pop my eardrums from her screaming so loudly."

Cat laughs, a light blush covering her cheeks. She's never been comfortable taking compliments about her work.

"That's sweet. I'll have to sign a couple of books for you to give to her."

"She would love that."

He grabs the bottle and offers me more wine, but I shake my head. "I've had enough." More than enough, if the headache forming between my eyes is any indication.

"Anyway," Jimmy says, picking up his glass and swirling the liquid. "I really appreciate you letting me sit for a while. I wasn't looking forward to waiting for the tow truck in my car." He lifts his glass, but before he takes a sip, he sets it back down. "Heard the temps are supposed to be dropping over the next couple of hours."

"It's really no problem," Cat responds.

I glance at her when her voice seems to be drifting away. She wobbles on her seat. After a minute, I realize it's not her who's unsteady, but me. I slam my hand on the counter to keep myself upright as my vision blurs.

My eyes jerk to Jimmy, the small movement making my swaying body stumble to the side. I barely catch myself from ass planting on the floor.

"Hunter? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

I ignore Cat's question, unable to look away from Jimmy. His lips are curved into a smile I've never seen on his face before. It's nasty and filled with twisted glee.

"What in the fuck have you done?" Even to my own ears, my voice sounds warbled, like I'm talking through a ton of cotton.

"Giving you what you've been wanting." He gets up from his seat.

From my peripheral vision, I see Cat get up, but Jimmy grabs a handful of her hair before she makes it far. Her scream is cut short when Jimmy shoves her against the bar, smashing her head down on the granite.

He runs his hand down her hair like she's his fucking pet. "I heard you've been looking for me."

My whole fucking world crashes down on me. Even as my vision becomes hazy, red still bleeds across the edges. I've been so goddamn stupid.

I fight the darkness closing in around me, but whatever Jimmy slipped into the wine bottle is too strong. I grit my teeth, my legs losing their battle to stay upright.

Just before I crash to the floor, I say one word.

"Whisper."