Chapter 6

Chapter Six Kade

Sweat drips down my brow.I shake my head and wipe my hand over my face as I fight the smile that comes naturally at the sight of Scar’s maddening smirk.

It might be both my favorite and most hated attribute of hers. That little smirk that spells nothing but trouble. It all but guarantees that someone will be pissed off. Usually Luca. That’s when I adore it. Encourage it. Live to help her set fires that the others will have to put out. Again, namely Luca.

Nothing gets under his skin like that smirk does. And she knows it.

My only problem is it has another meaning too. One that doesn’t just get under my skin, but burrows right down into my soul and fuels the very worst parts of me. The doubts and insecurities.

It’s her mask. Her familiar fall back in order to hide whatever is going on in that little fucked up head of hers. She’s hiding. And not just from me, but all of us. Maybe even herself.

Scar bounces on her feet as she pants, the little gasps of breath begging to draw my attention down to her lips. I fight the battle as my lips twitch and I shake my head at her.

Even when she’s lost in the chaos of her own mind, she never stops being able to entice me, to draw me into her storm and make me beg for more. Never stops being aware of what her broken pieces do to mine.

“What you thinking about so hard there, Big Guy?”

Her usual snark doesn’t hit quite the same when I can see the remnants of her earlier hesitation and confusion lingering in her eyes even now. Ever since she saw Charles again, some of her shine has been missing.

No matter how well she tries to fake it, she can never quite hide all the turmoil that’s brewing in her veins. I can feel the angry, pulsing winds tearing her apart against my skin. Each one its own lash, ripping my skin open and making me bleed as once again she fights against her trauma as it tries to drag her back under the surface. Her storm has always called to me, but now it threatens to take me under with her.

“All the things I’m going to do to you once I get you under me,” I snark back, my own fake grin in place. She doesn’t want to hear my worries. Not right now. She isn’t ready to confront what’s eating away at her. I’ve never been good at slowly dragging things out of her.

Noah and Declan can coax her into spilling her guts, into realizing her own truths. I always push her just a little too far, a little too fast. Making her run, making her hide.

“Confident today, are we?” A small twinkle enters her eye and my grin relaxes into something slightly more natural. More real. If only I were more confident. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel this way. Like I’m losing my grip on my own sanity as I watch Scar choose to suffer alone rather than lean on me.

“I’m always confident in my ability to get you on your back.” Her surprised laugh soothes the wounds her distance causes. We all have things we’re good at. This is where I thrive. In my ability to draw her out of herself when she goes dark. To find the joy and happiness in the shadows.

I throw myself across the ring, wrapping my arms around her waist and taking her down to the mat with me. Her laughter grows and I nuzzle my nose against her throat, relishing in the pounding pulse I can feel under her skin as I drag my tongue up her neck.

“I love your laugh, Ladybug,” I confess like it’s a sin. My words make her pause and she arches her body up into me. “I just wish it was enough,” I finish heavily.

She tenses under me and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to regret the words that slipped free. I hadn’t meant to say them. Not here, not now. I just can’t get the sight of her listening to Noah talking to Charles out of my head. The look of contemplation as she listened to his words, the smile when he laughed at Charles’ poor attempt at a joke. The hope that she couldn’t quite hide.

I lean up on my elbows to look down at her face. She’s frowning as she looks up at me, waiting for me to meet her eyes. When I do, I find the storm brewing there, no longer trying to conceal it from me. Satisfaction purrs to life in my chest. A familiar beast raising his head at the sight of her anger.

She arches a brow, daring me to repeat myself. I shouldn’t like that reaction as much as I do. But at least she isn’t hiding from me. Everything she’s feeling is written plainly on her face. Sharing with me. Being open with me. Just me.

“Just what isn’t enough for you?” she demands when I don’t answer her silent question.

“Pieces of you,” I answer without hesitation. A grunt escapes me as fire burns in my belly. I huff out a breath. Little brat knocked the wind out of me. My head rocks back against the mat as she straddles me, leaning down over me.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” No sign of her earlier smile or laugh left on her angry features.

I smirk up at her. That inner beast riding me hard. I may not be able to coax it out of her the way the other guys can. Might not be the one she chooses to open up to and work through her emotions with, but I can’t just have her happiness. I’ll never be happy with only pieces of her while she keeps others hidden away.

“You’re running again,” I challenge her. “Hiding from me.”

She slams her fist into my chest this time and I cough out with the force behind it. “I’m right fucking here,” she pants out.

We all have our talents. Mine include getting this wonderfully annoying woman above me to smile and also to piss her right the fuck off.

“Are you?” I ask and throw my shoulder into hers, knocking her off balance. She’s quick to move back and diminish my opportunity to get her under me again. She rolls backwards and lands on her feet, still crouched with her hands hovering above the mat. Ready and waiting for my next move.

I get my feet under me and stand tall, towering over her. “Cause it feels to me like you’ve been a million miles away. You spend more time lost in your own thoughts than I’ve ever seen you before. Even more than before you left us.”

She comes at me hard, distracting me with an uppercut that I just barely manage to dodge before she gets me in the chest with a roundhouse kick. It knocks me back several steps, but I don’t let her steal the advantage. I crouch low, faking right and waiting for her movement to match mine before turning on a dime and landing a hit on her left side.

She’s quick to respond with her own kick but this time I’m prepared for it. I catch her foot in my hands and yank her towards me, bringing her down onto her ass. I fall on top of her as she bangs her hands against my chest. “How long are you going to hold that against me?” she demands.

I sigh, my own anger at her distance ebbing as I see the emotion pouring off her in tangible waves. I didn’t want to hurt her. “I’m not,” I promise, raining kisses down on her face. “I told you I forgive you and I do. I know that I had my own blame for that.”

If I thought that would appease her, I was wrong. Very very wrong.

“Fuck!” I curse as she once again flips us around. “Will you stop doing that?” I demand as she smirks down at me. I shake my head and take several deep steadying breaths trying to breathe through the pain of her kneeing me in the gut.

“You should have been prepared for that,” she taunts.

I wrap my arms around her waist, but instead of trying to flip us like she’s expecting, I bring her down tighter against me. She huffs in surprise but it’s quick to turn into a near silent moan as she feels my erection pressed up against her.

“I’ll give you something to prepare for,” I growl in her ear.

She wiggles in my arms, but can’t escape my bear hug. “Bastard,” she curses, but her earlier amusement is back in her voice, even if there’s still a thread of annoyance in there too. I guess we can be even on that count.

I keep her trapped against me, wrapping my legs around hers as she tries to use them to gain traction to break my hold. I roll us over so she’s underneath me once more.

“Here we are again,” I taunt her, loosening my grip on her just enough to catch her hands in mine and lift them above her head. Now that she’s no longer fighting me, I straddle her hips and rise on my knees so I’m able to pull her tank top up and over her head. Instead of releasing her hands to free her shirt though, I wrap it tightly around her wrists and secure them to the ropes.

She scoffs, “You and Noah have been hanging out too much.”

I grin down at her. “How else are we supposed to keep you in line?”

She bucks her hips up and I laugh at the feeble attempt to dislodge me off of her. We both know I’m not going anywhere now. I dance my fingers down her arms to her chin, loving the sparkle back in her eyes. At least here, we always understand each other. Always know everything the other is thinking even without words.

Neither one of us has ever been the best at finding the right words at the right moment. This is much more our speed. Getting lost in each other’s bodies. I trace my fingers down her throat to her cleavage. I grin as I dip my fingers down and pull out the dagger she always keeps there.

Scar’s brows furrow as she watches me press the tip of the blade into her sternum. Not hard enough to draw blood, not even hard enough for her to really feel it. Her lips part open and a beautiful flush spreads up her neck and across her cheeks.

I grow harder against her as I watch her reaction. One deft flick of my wrist and her perky breasts spill free from her now tattered sports bra.

She gasps. “That was rude!” she complains.

I hum along with her, pressing the flat of the blade against her peaked nipples. “It’s rude to suffocate my beautiful babies.” She shakes her head in exasperation but her body gives her away. Her back arches as she chases my touch.

I drag the tip of the blade across her chest until I reach her other nipple and tease her with it, careful not to knick her in the process. I do love my girl covered in blood, but not her own. Never her own.

Her breath comes out faster and a dark chuckle escapes my lips. “You like that, Ladybug?”

She nods so earnestly, every moment of her pulling back, every unsure glance in my direction, every single insecurity is erased from my mind. How could I ever doubt this woman and her love for me? Question how perfect we are for each other?

“Fuck, Letty. I could eat you alive when you look like this.”

“So do it,” she challenges, her voice husky with her arousal. I toss the knife to the mat away from us and let my tongue replace it. I breathe her in deeply, loving the scent that is so uniquely her and somehow never changes.

I caress her tits in my palms, gently squeezing them as I catch one of her nipples between my teeth and bite down sharply, eliciting a shocked cry from her. I soothe the little bud with my tongue and grin at the sound of Scar’s heavy breathing and the way she writhes underneath me. Searching out friction for her core.

It makes me want to torture her all the more.

So I do.

I take my time licking up her bit of sweat from her chest and neck, leaving love bites and marks all over her skin. I never let my hands stop wandering, exploring her body. Gentle brushes over her sensitive skin, sudden pinches against her nipples and breasts. But not once do I let my hands drift south of her waist.

Just enough to drive her out of her mind with need. Enough to make her beg. “Please, Kade.”

“What do you need, Letty?” I ask, my own voice thick with desire.

“More,” she pants. “More of you. All of you.”

A pleased growl reverberates through my chest, a sound I didn’t know I was capable of. I should stop being surprised by what this woman pulls out of me.

“I need all of you too, Scar. Every inch of you.” I grip her hips in my hands and place kisses down her stomach as I move myself down her body. She mewls as she tries to lift herself up.

“Hmm,” I hum against the skin of her lower belly. “I can smell you through your shorts, needy girl.”

“Kade,” she moans, her impatience makes me smile even as my own dick aches in my shorts. I slide my hands into the waistband of her shorts and pull them and her underwear down her legs in one swipe, leaving her completely bare to me.

She’s swollen and dripping, just begging for me to steal a taste. I settle between her legs and lift her knees up high and wide, leaving her pussy completely open and exposed to me.

I curse under my breath. “I’ll never get over how absolutely breathtaking you are,” I praise her. The words strained as I fight to keep myself in control. Her pussy glistens under my gaze and I can’t hold back from giving her what she’s been so desperately begging for.

I start at her inner thighs, using my tongue to clean up every drop of her wetness smeared there and work my way up. She wiggles and writhes, begging for more, but I hold her hips in my hands and anchor her down to the mat. Much to her frustration.

My smile stretches across my cheeks and I use my nose to find her slick and swollen clit. I shake my head slowly back and forth, increasing the pressure only slightly with each motion. Her cries only fuel my desire to continue her torture. To build her up into the slowest and sweetest orgasm. To make her feel the same torturous ecstasy I feel every day while loving her.

Finally, I lave my tongue over her clit. She moans obscenely and I chuckle against her, making her grind up into my face. I hum as I double down, eating her out as if my life depended on it. The more she grinds, the more I hum, attacking her clit with my tongue and tracing little circles over it the way I know she goes crazy for.

I’m determined to make her come without ever entering her. Though I can’t wait to do that either. I keep one hand placed firmly on her lower belly, while the other one reaches up to tweak and roll her nipples between my fingers.

Her body tightens under my ministrations and her mouth parts open. I smirk against her as I begin to hum again, knowing she’s right at the edge, just begging to spill over. I’m quickly rewarded with a gush of heat that spills down my chin as her back arches and her sweet cries fill my ears as she falls apart underneath me. Her body sags as the last waves of the orgasm recede and my hands find her hair, burying in the long locks and pulling sharply as I rise over her body and meet her satisfied smile.

“I know that isn’t the best you’ve got,” she taunts. A surprised laugh rumbles through me and breaks up some of the residual tension left between us.

“On the contrary, you are the very best thing I’ve got.” Her smile softens as I lean down, just above her lips. She darts up to press our lips together. I tilt my head forward and take control of the kiss, pouring everything I’m feeling into it. My love and fear. The old insecurities and friendship that was at the start of our story. My need and desperation for her and grief and anger for her too. She responds immediately, letting me have control while she relaxes into my touch. Showing her own understanding and fears. Her doubts and pain. Her guilt and worries.

Her taste lingers on both of our lips, igniting my desire to obscene levels. Creating cravings I haven’t had since that night I found her in the bar with Declan.

A beast I had no idea existed within myself until then. One that has lain mostly dormant until this moment. When I once again doubt my ability to hold on to Scar.

Rather than punishing her this time, I strive to make her desperate for me. A different type of torture. Fill her mind with me and only me. Leave no room for anything or anyone else.

Her tits fit so perfectly in my hands as I cup them, pushing them together as I pull away from her lips and press kisses to her cleavage. The sight of the purple marks already forming from my earlier nips make my cock twitch between us.

I run my tongue over them, biting again over the mark forming over her heart. This desire to own her, to mark her, to absolutely fill her with me steals what was left of my sanity.

Keeping one hand on her chest, I brush over her pert nipple as my other hand moves down between her legs. I’ll never get enough of how wet she gets for me. Just how messy I can make her.

My fingers swirl through the desire, gently swiping over her swollen clit until she’s moaning under my touch. Her back arches, putting her perfect tits right in my face as I pass over her clit again. I catch one nipple between my teeth, biting down sharply before instantly releasing her. Her cries are music to my ears. Her hips undulating as she rides nothing but air, the most beautiful choreography I’ve ever seen. The sweat trickling down her skin as her body bows to the pleasure I create in her the most perfect art.

If I could catch this moment in a photo, I would blow it up and hang it over my bed to look at every day. When Scar is completely consumed by me.

“Kade, please,” she pants and I smirk.

“I’ll give you my dick, Ladybug,” I promise as I put pressure on her clit and run those same tight circles over it. “But not yet.” She groans and a satisfied chuckle rumbles out from deep in my chest.

“I love you like this too much to end it already,” I admit. “Needy, begging, under me.”

Her hips chase my hand as I pull away from her. “You’re such a dick,” she curses.

“Mhm,” I hum. “But you love me anyways.” I lick my lips as she spreads her legs open, giving me the perfect view of her slick cunt. The anticipation of sinking balls deep into her wet heat rides me hard. There’s no better feeling than being fully connected with this wildly irresistible woman. “Are you going to let me have my way with you, Letty?”

Her silence doesn’t annoy me. Rather her bratty attitude helps alleviate some of the tightness from my chest. My girl, my stubborn as fuck girl. She’s never soft and pliant, always ready for a fight. Even when she’s desperate for my touch, she’ll never give in too easily. Just another reason why I love her so damn much.

A quick pinch of her nipple makes her yelp and throw me a dirty look, but I didn’t miss the way her pussy glistened with new arousal at the move. She likes a bit of pain with her pleasure. Something I don’t think we give her enough of.

Finally, she nods. “Take what you want, Stranger,” she dares.

My cock twitches in my shorts at the challenge. She knows exactly what she’s doing to me.

“I plan to,” I tell her. “It’s been too long since we’ve just played.” We fall into bed together just about every night. Usually with at least Ryder and Noah. Most of those nights end in some type of sex. Even with as out of sorts we’ve all felt, the sex hasn’t changed. She’s just as hungry, if not more so, for us than she ever has been.

I can’t imagine ever not being starving for her.

But this? I collect some of her come between my fingers and bring it up to face level. She shudders under me as I bring my fingers to my mouth and slip them into my mouth. I haven’t played her body like my own personal instrument in too long. Though it could have been only yesterday and it would still feel far too long.

“You’re going to fall apart for me in the most delicious ways before I’m done.” Her eyes dilate, her mouth parting as she focuses on my fingers and my lips. I collect more of her wetness before smearing it over both of her nipples, loving how transfixed she is. Fully here, with me. Only me.

Leaning down, I clean up the mess I made on her chest with my tongue. Slowly lapping up every bit and her breathing grows faster, more erratic. Her body clenches and writhes under me, needing to be filled. Begging for it.

“I’m going to finger fuck you until you soak my face and shirt with your come.” Her eyes widen and she cries out as I roughly shove two fingers into her cunt without warning.

Her walls immediately clamp down on me, sucking me in deeper as her body shudders in sudden climax. Normally, I would ease her through her orgasms, but that’s not what I’m after today. I have a very specific goal in mind.

I thrust in and out of her, scissoring my fingers and rubbing against her clit alternatively. The pace I set is fast, brutal. Demanding. Her ass lifts off the mat as her orgasm passes and her body begins to relax, only to tighten immediately when I keep up the relentless pace.

“Kade,” she warns, but I only grin in response. Orgasm on entry is great, why I teased her so intensely. Showered her body with love and attention. Nothing pleases me more than being able to make her come at my command.

I twist my fingers in her, truly fucking her as deep as I can reach with just my fingers. I add a third finger at the same time as I lift her leg and brace it with my free arm. Her body twists with the new position, opening her pussy to me even more and allowing me to sink into her even deeper with each aggresive thrust of my fingers. I feel that sweet spot inside of her as her orgasm begins to build again, a frantic and rapid tightening of inner walls as she screams out for me.

Lifting her thigh higher, I rest it against my shoulder bringing her ass and pussy even further off the mat. I take one moment to appreciate the way her pink pussy gushes around my fingers, fat drops of her arousal dripping to the ground between us. Her clit is swollen and just begging for attention.

Never one to deny my girl, I lock her in place against me with my free arm as I dive into my favorite meal, never slowing the pace of my fingers thrusting inside of her. The second my tongue laves over the needy bud, Scar is exploding on my tongue.

Fuck do I love that taste.

Her third orgasm is just as intense as the first two. I slow my fingers, rubbing her inner walls as they spasm. Gently coaxing every ounce of her pleasure that I can. Licking her up, not wasting a single drop of the come I worked so hard to obtain.

As soon as her orgasm ebbs away, her body begins to relax. She pulls against the restraints she’s still in and I just know she was going to grab my hair and pull me up to her.

Too bad I still haven’t achieved my goal yet.

I don’t meet her eyes, keeping my mouth on her cunt as I return to the pace I had previously set.

“Fuck!” she screams. I’d smile if I wasn’t too busy wrapping my lips around her clit to suck the little bead into my mouth as my fingers thrust in and out of her.

She attempts to pull her overly sensitive cunt away from me and I chuckle against her. It won’t take long to get her to the peak of that pleasure again. Not with the way her body is already screaming for release.

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck,” she pants, the words barely coming out. I find that sweet spot inside her again, roughly stroking it as I release the suction and catch her clit between my teeth. The moment I bite down, Scar sobs as she explodes, her release squirting from her entrance as she soaks my face and chest.

I let go of her clit, laving it with gentle caresses as I once again, gently coax the rest of her orgasm out of her. Carefully, I maneuver her back down to the mat, keeping contact with her pussy. Only now, I’m slowly stroking her entrance with soothing touches. No longer pushing her.

Satisfaction fills me to the brim as I lick my lips and meet her gaze. Tears stream down her face but it’s her smile that blinds me. The faint blush across her cheeks making her come on my lips all that much sweeter.

“You did that on purpose,” she accuses. Her body shivers between us, completely relaxed now. Even her words sound almost distant in her fatigue.

“Had to prove I could do it without Ryder’s dick inside of you.” It’s too bad I didn’t get this time on film, but I’m ecstatic all the same.

Hovering above her, I push my shorts down and release my aching cock, slowly stroking it from root to tip. Squeezing just slightly to try and relieve some of the ache. Her eyes follow the motion and her teeth sink into her lower lip. Despite how exhausted she appeared only a moment ago, a new energy is thrumming her skin.

“Can you take me, Ladybug? Tell me I can sink into that pretty pussy and fill you with my come.” Her eyebrows raise but she doesn’t interrupt. My obsession with my come in her has never made sense to her when she’s on birth control. But I don’t care about that. I just want to see her marked as mine in every way. As often as possible.

A drop of pre-come rests at the tip of my dick and I swipe it up with my thumb and smear it over her lips. Her tongue darts out to lap it up immediately. “Or should I feed you my cock? Fuck your face until I’m spilling down your throat and you swallow like the good girl I know you are?”

Her tongue moistens her lips before she answers. “What do you want?”

I groan, squeezing my dick again. “I want it all, Letty. That pretty pussy full of my come, it dripping from that tight ass, while I come down your throat.”

She swallows thickly, a haze entering her eyes as she pictures it. The same way I have been for the last several minutes. It’s a miracle I haven’t come in my hand. “Take,” she whispers before clearing her throat. “Take what you need, Kade.” There’s a lilt in her words, an edge to her gaze that gives away a hidden meaning behind those words, but it’s not one I can focus on. Can barely even recognize.

I grab her hips, anchoring her to me as I slide my dick through her pussy lips. “You going to let me fuck your ass?”

Her apprehension over ass play has diminished almost entirely. She’s learned to enjoy it. To completely let go of the control she holds onto so tightly. She trusts us implicitly. But she never offers it up freely.

She must see my hesitation because she moves her hips with me. “Fuck me, Kade,” she commands. “Every way you want to. Exactly how you want to.”

A growl spills past my lips and I flip her over onto her knees, the shirt restraining her twisting with the movement. Her fingers wrap around the ropes of the ring and I take a moment to make sure her circulation isn’t being impacted by the new position.

Once I’m assured she’s okay, I waste no time burying myself in her to the hilt. She gasps as I bottom out, her cunt already tightening around me. I’m close without even having moved yet. The desperation to feel her finally fulfilled enough to drive me right up to that edge.

I pull all the way out of her, gripping her hips tightly, tighter than I ever have before. I don’t want fingermarks left behind, I want my hand prints branded onto her skin where I hold her to me. Driving back into her makes her back arch. Encouraging me with every pant, moan, and the way she leans into my touch.

“You take me so goddamn well, Letty.” My dick is coated in her come as I pull back out, all the way to the tip, and the little brat clenches hard around me, sucking me right back in.

Releasing her hip, I bring my hand down on her ass. A loud slap rings through the gym and her pussy spasms around me. A vibrant red handprint begins to appear on her ass cheek and my thrusts become less controlled as the sight drives me mad.

I chase my release, needing to feel the euphoria only she gives me. It’s only a few strokes later when I can feel the telltale sign of my balls tightening. I reach around to Scar’s front and find her clit to get her there with me.

“Oh fuck, Kade. That’s so good.”

“Come for me, Letty,” I demand, bottoming out in her again. She clenches but she isn’t quite there yet. I strain against coming, rubbing my fingers against her clit faster. “Be my good girl,” I growl. Dirty talk always helps take her over the edge. “Show me how much you love taking my cock. How good it makes you feel.”

“I’m close,” she pants, writhing into my hand. “So fucking close.”

“Hold on tight.” Her hands grip the rope tighter and I release my hold on her. She falls forward but I’m right there with her. Pulling her back to me by her pussy. My free hand splays over her back, pushing her head down to put that perfect ass on display for me.

I spit on her ass and she curses. Fuck. She’s so tight, so wet, so fucking good. My eyes almost roll into the back of my head, but not yet. Almost.

I rub my spit into her ass, that tight ring of muscles relaxing enough for me to slip my thumb in. Not willing to hurt her, I move slowly just starting to stretch her out so she can take my cock here next.

It immediately makes her tighter around my cock, her pussy milking me and I can’t hold back any longer. “You’re fucking perfect,” I curse as I tense inside of her, spilling my come into her.

She curses as her orgasm crashes through her, taking mine to new heights. My chest presses against her back as I hold us there, buried deep inside her while the waves of her orgasm recede and the last ropes of my come spill from me.

We stay there for a moment, the only sounds in the room our heavy breathing. Neither of us has enough air to speak or even move. I keep us pressed together, my thumb still in her ass, my cock still in her pussy.

Instead of pulling free, I press kisses down her spine as I begin to straighten and get to work on preparing her ass.

“Kade?” she mumbles questioningly.

“Hmm?” I respond, stretching her tight hole with my thumb. She stays relaxed, just like I need her to in order to replace my thumb with two fingers. When I slip them in she moans.

“You just came,” she points out. My dick is still inside her, slowly softening now.

“Don’t you worry.” I begin to scissor my fingers in her asshole. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready to fuck this ass.”

She starts to say something else but it gets lost in a moan. “Let me hear you,” I encourage her as she writhes on my hand. I debate if I should even pull out of her, but my dick is already oversensitive and the way she’s clamping down on me is almost painful. Somehow, it still feels good. Everything with Scar feels good.

Still, I pull out so I am able to have more control over her as I slowly stretch her out. It makes me grin to watch her eyes cloud over in a haze of pleasure from this when she used to hate even the thought of it. My dick twitches as I watch her expression flutter from bliss, to pain, to concentration, and back to bliss as I slip a third finger inside her tight ass and begin to slowly pump in and out of her.

“You take it so well, Scar. So fucking well.” I’m already getting hard again as I watch the way she sucks my fingers back in. “Look at what you do to me. Even the best sex with you is never enough.” She pants as I begin to thrust faster, twisting my fingers as I go. “I’m already dying to sink my cock into this greedy hole.” She moans and I pull my fingers out, grabbing the lube and begin to slick myself up.

Her whimpers have me fumbling to hurry up and before even a few moments have passed, I’m pressing the hard tip of my cock against her hole. Slowly pushing in, she holds her breath as her ass stretches around my length.

“Shh, ladybug. You’re doing so good. Just like that,” I murmur as I force my way past the tight circle of muscles. “Breathe, Scar,” I remind her as I stroke her hip, brushing her skin as I reach around her front and find her clit to stroke. After what feels like ages, I bottom out in her. Sweat drips from my brow and her legs shake under me. “Fuck me, Scar. You feel so unbelievably good.”

A choked chuckle is ripped from my throat when she takes the words as a challenge and begins to rock her hips. Matching her intensity, I pull out before thrusting all the way back in. In no time at all, it’s just me and her. Scar and Kade. No.

A stranger and his ladybug.

Lost in the magic we make with our bodies. No more words spoken, a connection deep and true built on the passion and fire of the way our bodies move together. She’s as desperate for me as I am for her. As lost in me as I am in her. Nothing between us but the thick scent of sweat and desire.

My mind begins to black out, all the worries leaving me as I feel the telltale signs of her impending orgasm. I pick up the pace as I drive into her, needing to catch up with her and come together one last time.

“Almost there, Ladybug. Almost there,” I murmur in her ear and she pants out a response I can’t make out. I redouble my effort and my balls draw up as ecstasy builds in my veins. There is no high like what I get from this woman in front of me.

Scar tightens around me and it pushes me over the edge just as she starts to spasm around me, I come, thick come shooting inside her tight hole. We’re both panting and I collapse at her side, pulling out of her as I do. She gives me a wry smile and I see the confident woman I know shining in her eyes.

“I love you.” The words are a promise as much as a reminder. To both her and myself. I do love her. Even the parts of her she’s buried, even the parts I’m still learning. The ones she’s still learning and the ones she doesn’t even know exist.

Her eyes shine with understanding and I brush her hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear. Nothing but the naked truth left between us, shining with an intensity neither of us can continue to ignore. We both know the inevitable outcomes of all the things we’ve both been grappling with.

I’m scared. Scared she’s going to lose herself to her past once more. Scared that Charles may still have the power to tear her apart and ruin all the progress she’s made. Scared I’m going to lose her to the very reason I fell in love with her. The storm that brews in her soul.

“What is it that you’re so afraid of?” She looks up at me earnestly, her own insecurity shining in her eyes. Almost like she already knows all the thoughts running rampant in my head and she fears I’m about to confirm them.

She’s going to forgive Charles, and somehow I’ll learn to be okay with it. Somehow. At some point. But not today. Not right now. There’s too much fear writhing in my chest to accept what she’s saying without words.

I rear back as if she struck me, a feat I know is impossible since her arms are still immobile above her head. I push myself to my feet, turning away from her so she can’t read me like she always does. I can’t be here. Can’t even look her in the eyes. I never thought it would be me, but I finally get the allure of it. I turn my back on her and run out of the gym, leaving her behind.

What else could I do when my biggest fear is that telling her what I’m scared of will make it come true?

* * *

Blood splattersfrom my knuckles as I feel his cheek shatter under the force of my blow. I don’t even pause before hitting him in the gut with a left hook, knocking the wind from him.

He pushes back, just barely managing to catch himself before eating mat. He’s too unsteady to have any real chance of landing a hit back on me, but it doesn’t stop him from trying. I easily dodge his punch, debating if I should use the opportunity to end the fight. It just doesn’t feel like enough. A buzz still rushes through my veins demanding to be let out.

He pulls back and tries to kick out at me. Ugh, he’s almost making it too easy. I side step his kick and hit him in the chest with two sharp jabs, making him wheeze.

Tyler knew exactly what kind of mood I was in tonight as soon as he saw my face. He already assured me he matched me up with absolute scum. Someone I don’t have to feel guilty about killing. I just wish he was making me at least work for it. The beast that lives in my soul is never satisfied by an easy kill. It only makes him that much hungrier.

His next punch is aimed at my face, but he’s far too slow. I allow his knuckles to graze my cheek and take the shot at getting on the inside to end this once and for all. I hear his nose crack as more blood is spewed from his face and his head slings back.

I use my leg to knock his feet out from under him and follow him down. Raining blow after blow on his face and head until his body stops writhing beneath mine.

I crack my neck as I rise to my feet. The crowd goes crazy over the bloodshed as Ty announces me the winner of the fight, continuing my undefeated streak. You’d think people would be more cautious here after the last few months, but if anything it’s made people crave more violence. If we were worried the events of the war would diminish our pool of fighters at all, we didn’t need to be. We have more eager participants than ever before. Men and women who want to prove themselves in the bloodiest rings in the states. Even with our lower presence here.

Luca and I used to be here weekly, I was almost here daily with Ian, Holden, Ty, and Joe. But with everything going on, it just hasn’t been possible. The guys have been keeping everything running smoothly, but I can’t say I wasn’t shocked on coming in here tonight to find we are busier than ever.

Reading the reports and feeling the energy of this crowd are two very different things.

My blood sings in victory as I look out at the crowd cheering. The beast in me preening at the praise but not ready to climb out of the cage. We’re ready for another fight.

Tyler continues speaking into the microphone, assessing me before calling for another fighter to enter the ring. He gives me a nod and with just that I know he has a whole lineup of people that I can kill.

I knew Ty was one of the good ones.

This insatiable bloodlust has nowhere else to go. I can’t take it out on the person I really want to. Not when it’s Scar herself that is making the darkest parts of me wake up and take notice. I knew that little smirk of hers meant nothing but trouble, even when she’s only using it as a mask.

I could see it in her eyes. She finally stopped hiding from me and let me take a peek at what is in her soul and for the first time ever I can honestly say, I wish she hadn’t. I wish I hadn’t. Because now, there is no going back. There is no unknowing what I know.

Scar wants to forgive Charles. Even if she hasn’t found it within herself to do it yet, she wants to. She wants him to prove himself trustworthy. To prove himself worth it. To prove that even after all these years, he’s choosing her. He’s on her side.

I barely wait for the bell to ring before I’m throwing myself at my next opponent. The next sorry loser who had more confidence than he should and a string of crimes in his past that made Ty invite him to his death in this ring.

I black out, not even aware of my surroundings any longer. All I know is the second fight didn’t last even half as long as the first one. It’s still nowhere near enough to satisfy my rage. I don’t know if it is even possible for me to find my peace here tonight. No matter how much my blood sings for the savagery of the fight, it’s Scar that my body truly craves.

Her wet and willing and begging under me. Just like I had her. Too consumed by what I was doing to her body to worry and stress about Romano, to feel the echoes of her trauma, to even think about that scumbag from her past.

He never deserved her back then and he sure as fuck doesn’t deserve her now. No matter what leads he gives us, no matter how much work he does for us. He could never right the wrongs of his past. Never erase how much he hurt my girl.

Another fighter enters the ring. I crack my neck and flex my fingers as I let my eyes rove over my newest opponent. He isn’t like the first two. He doesn’t enter this ring with an embarrassingly misplaced sense of arrogance. No, he enters this ring without the fear of death. He knows he might die at my hands, that it might even be the most likely outcome. He just doesn’t care.

That makes him the most dangerous type of opponent. The type that doesn’t have anything left to lose. I laugh sardonically, excited for the first time tonight. Since I saw that expression on her face and the truth dawned on me.

She doesn’t want to hate Charles, but I do. I can’t stop from wanting his blood on my hands. One punch was never going to be enough to suppress the rage I’ve felt for years. For all the times I’ve held myself back from seeking him out and getting my own vengeance on him.

I guess a part of me always knew that Scar’s heart, as damaged and torn to pieces as it has been, is still far too big to ever hate the boy who was once her whole world. Her lifeline. The very reason she wants to forgive him is the reason I can never.

I can’t hold it against her, and I know the time will come where she won’t let me hold it against him any longer either. Unlucky for this guy, he just so happens to have the same annoyingly blonde hair as Charles and I can very much hold it against him.

There’s no blacking out in this fight. I’m aware and sharp for every punch, every kick, every grapple. I even let him get me underneath him a few times so he can feel that sense of hope and accomplishment only to realize he had just fallen into another one of my traps.

Some would call it sadistic, I call it therapy.

Better to take it out on the fucker who I know deserves it than the woman I know is just trying to heal. The very thing I have wanted her to do for so long.

My knuckles smash into his rib cage and I can feel the bones bend and break underneath my fist as I make contact. He gasps in pain but doesn’t relent as he drives his own fists into my midsection. A laugh bubbles up out of me as I wrap my arm around his neck and force his head into my side, locking him into place. I drive my fist into his face with a savage ferocity that I haven’t felt since Scar left us.

He puts up more of a fight than the first two, but in the end, none of it matters. Blood and sweat drip down my face in a familiar sensation of the fights and finally some of the ragged edges of my rage are slightly soothed. Not gone, but less serrated.

Maybe this shouldn’t be where I find my comfort, but if everyone has a church, these ropes are my pews and this mat is my altar. Which I guess makes this imbecile my sacrifice.

I loosen my hold without giving up control until I get into a better position. He struggles and writhes, suddenly aware of what is to come. Maybe he wasn’t as fearless as he first thought he was when he strode up into this ring.

My hands lock into position and before he has a chance to do anything, I snap his neck and drop his lifeless body to the mat beneath me.

The bloodthirsty crowd roars their approval and I can’t help but chuckle as I make my way back toward Tyler.

“You good, man?” His hand comes down on my shoulder and he gives me a squeeze. I grin up at him, feeling slightly more at ease after my fights. I still have a lot to think about and come to peace with. I know Letty and I are going to have to have a real conversation that is more than just sex about the whole thing. But at least for tonight the screams inside my own head are a little quieter. My demons crying out my insecurities have been put to rest for now.

“That last fight settled me out,” I say in thanks.

Ty nods knowingly. “He deserved it. We were going to take him out soon if we didn’t get him in the ring.”

“You good now?” A new voice asks, and I turn around to find Ryder looking up at me and Tyler with his own smirk on his face.

“When did you get here?” I question, looking around to see who else is here as I hop down off the elevated boxes and allow for Tyler to carry on the fights.

Ry rolls his eyes as we both turn towards the locker rooms reserved for only our team members. The crowd parts for us, giving us a wide berth as he smacks my shoulder. “Did you forget? We need to make rounds for Rach tonight.”

I curse as the heavy locker room doors slam behind us.

Ryder cackles. “You totally did forget. Oh, I can’t wait to let the girls know.”

“Fuck off.” I flip him off as I strip down and jump into the closest shower. “We’re just going to the home office, right? No meetings?”

I can still hear him fucking around on his phone over the sound of the shower water so I know he’s just ignoring me when more than a few seconds go by and he doesn’t respond. “Hey, fucker.”

“You don’t have to wear a suit,” he finally calls back, and I can practically hear the eye roll. I wipe my hand over my face. He’s getting to be as bad as Scar. Lord help us all.

Since it will mostly just be us and maybe some of Rachel’s underlings, I rush through my shower and get dressed in my extra clothes quickly. Any time we’ve had meetings on her behalf, Ry and I have both been careful to maintain the same type of presence Rachel herself commands. Without that worry tonight, it makes my preparations that much smoother.

Thank fuck because I really did forget and I definitely don’t have a suit on hand.

Ryder shoves his phone into his pocket and picks up my bloody clothes off the floor and tosses them into the extra backpack I brought. We leave through the back doors without anyone noticing. The guys will already be aware that we weren’t going to stick around tonight. I wouldn’t be surprised if they somehow know my schedule better than I do. Especially since it feels like I’ve been living with my head in the clouds the last few weeks.

Ryder tosses me the keys and I climb into the driver’s seat, thankful it isn’t an argument. Once I get the truck turned on, I take a few deep breaths and try to get my head screwed back on right. I would be lying to say the adrenaline isn’t still rushing through my veins. I never thought I’d want to glamorize death, but there really is nothing like feeling the life draining out of someone because of a split second decision you made.

Being that in control, to literally hold someone else’s life in the palm of your hands. It’s a heady and addictive feeling. One heightened by knowing that the world is a better place now that those three scumbags aren’t in it.

There’s a fine tremor in my hands as I grip the steering wheel and try to shake the worst of it off. Focusing on something new will help the rest of them go away. I just need to push through the initial come-down.

I can feel Ryder’s eyes on me, but I don’t sense any worry or concern coming from him. Just curiosity. His natural interest now that he’s elbows deep into this life with us. He’s more attuned to his own needs, but also our own after the time he’s spent with us.

Exhaling heavily, I put the car in reverse and head the opposite way from home and deeper into the city toward Thorns. After a few minutes in the car with nothing but the soft music playing on low, my heartbeat no longer feels as erratic as it first had. Taking back control is something I struggled to learn, but now have comfortably mastered. Scar has her needs, Ryder is learning his, and I have mine.

I crack my neck and tension eases out of my shoulders as I continue down the familiar route. Ryder clears his throat, pointedly looking out the window as he does. It’s obvious he was waiting for me to be back in full control of my emotions before bringing up whatever it is he’s about to.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I turn towards him just enough for him to catch the movement and look to see my arched brow. He rolls his eyes. “Whatever it is that made you storm out of the house today, leave Scar naked and tied up in the gym,” I wince at that part, but he continues, “and come to the fights to beat three people to death.”

“She liked being tied up,” I half-heartedly defend.

Ryder snorts. “Considerably less so when you weren’t there to give her any more orgasms.” I chuckle in response and shake my head.

“I did know you guys were there and would find her quickly. Not like she couldn’t have gotten out of it herself.”

It’s his turn to arch a brow and make me roll my eyes. Okay, okay. It wasn’t the nicest thing I could have done. But it isn’t exactly out of the ordinary for me either. “She was being a brat.” I shrug a shoulder, but I know I’ll explain more.

Ry makes it easy to talk to him. He has his own level of derangement that I think may surpass even my own. None of the guys would judge me, Luca would probably understand me best as he’s most likely feeling the same way, but Ry’s a little different. He’s newly broken, not nearly healed yet. He has a certain fuckall attitude that allows him to cut through all the bullshit and get to the core of the issue. He accepts everything about us all with an ease that is rare to find.

I sigh, knowing I’m going to admit it anyways. “I think she wants to forgive Charles,” I explain, tightening my hands around the steering wheel as I grit the words out.

“She does.” He says it so simply, so easily, like it doesn’t drive a knife through my chest.

“She told you that?” I can barely force the words out through the emotions clogging my throat.

Ryder hums as he thinks about how to answer me. “She didn’t have to. I could tell.” I wait for him to continue his explanation. It takes him only a few moments but he does. “From the second I saw how she was reacting to him. She was different. Not the Scar I know.” I nod along in agreement with his words.

“It reminded me of the conversation we had right after she killed my dad. We talked about forgiveness and what it meant to her. How some wounds just can’t be forgiven.”

I continue nodding along to his words as I pull off the freeway. “I agree. Charles doesn’t deserve to be forgiven.”

Ryder laughs and shakes his head, but I’m being serious. I don’t think I can ever forget the lost and lonely look on her face when she realized she had no one left at her side. When he stood back and watched her being tormented day after day until she finally ran away. I had to watch what it did to her, as it broke her down more and more each day when she didn’t have anything left to give.

“It’s not your decision to make, Kade. You can hate him all you want, but Scar has experienced enough pain in her life to know what is and isn’t worth forgiving.”

I scoff. “If you had to watch what I did, you wouldn’t be saying that. You’d want him dead too.”

I can see Thorns coming up and I know we won’t continue this conversation out of this car. There are too many people that could overhear. These pieces of ourselves are meant for our family only.

“I already want him dead,” Ryder laughs, surprising me. I turn to him sharply, and give him a questioning look, but he just shrugs. “I know he hurt our girl. That is always punishable by death in my opinion.” Yes, that’s exactly it. Now Scar just needs to remember that. “But it doesn’t matter what we want or what we think. She was the one who got hurt, and if she feels like she’s healed enough to forgive him then we have to support that.”

A huff of frustration escapes me. “Do you think she has? Healed enough, I mean?”

He shrugs as I pull into the parking lot and head towards the back lot. “I think the fact she’s even considering it shows she has. The Scar I first met would have already killed him, or acted like none of it mattered. She would have laughed it off and been crass and never let any of us see how much she’s struggling.”

I grimace because he has a point, but I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of it. It might not be up to me, but that doesn’t make it any easier for me. I pull into Rachel’s spot and turn off the truck.

“I know it isn’t easy to accept, but I’ll ask you this. Would you ever blame Scar for not being able to save her sisters?”

“Fuck no,” I exclaim. “Are you serious?” My anger rises that he could ever even think to ask that.

“Of course not. Because she never meant to hurt them. She was barely able to survive herself. She was too weak to do anything.” My teeth sink into my bottom lip as I wait for him to get to the point. “Maybe it was the same for him. Maybe he was just trying to survive himself and he was too weak to save her.”

I crack my neck, hating how his words make me feel. Weakness isn’t an excuse. Not when it cost Scar everything. Not when she’s still tied up in knots every time she looks at him.

He sighs, but doesn’t hesitate to pat me on the shoulder. “You can forgive weakness because you can fix it. A person can become stronger. Every time he risks himself to give us intel, he’s proving to her that he’s not the same scared and helpless kid she once knew. He’s showing her every day that he’s ready to be someone who can actually help her, and he is. He’s helping all of us. He might have hurt her, but if she’s ready to let that pain go, we need to encourage it.” He pats my shoulder in comfort. “Not all wounds bleed the same, Kade. Not all scars need to hurt forever.”

I hate how much his words make sense. Hate that he’s saying everything I already knew. Hate that this is the exact reason why I ended up in the rings tonight because I didn’t want to admit the truth. Not to her, or anyone, and especially not to myself.

He starts to turn towards the door, but I grab his arm to stop him. He waits and I swallow thickly. He’s a jackass. A hothead that puts even me to shame. And yet he cut to the core of the issue so easily. And I can’t ask one stupid question. I curse under my breath, but he waits patiently.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes tightly as I finally force the words out. “If it’s that simple, why hasn’t she just forgiven him yet? You said it yourself, he’s proving it every day, so why is she still struggling so hard and looks so damn lost every time I see her?”

He chuckles dryly. “Revenge is easy. Looking at someone who hurt you, accepting their faults and still choosing to forgive them, care about them, let them back in and give them the power to hurt you again. Well, that is a hell of a lot harder. You have to do work yourself. Let go of your own pain and anger. Accept that they weren’t perfect and put yourself on the line all over again. Look at how hard it was for you to forgive Scar after she left us.”

I drop his arm as his words resonate through my skull. Knocking every notion and feeling I had about this around and reconfiguring it all. It isn’t easy for me to just accept, but at least I have something to think about.

Ryder hops out of the truck and I take another moment before following suit. We still have a lot of work to get done before we can make it back home. I wonder if Scar would let me climb into her bed tonight. I smirk at the thought of her reaction.

Ry arches a brow, catching my moment of levity. “What’s so funny, Big Guy?”

“Just imagining how Scar would react if I climbed into her bed when we get home.”

His responding cackle lightens some of the load off my shoulders. “Girl will definitely be out for revenge. You’d wake up hogtied for sure.”

I shrug as I open the back doors to the club. “Worth it.” He nods his agreement as we make our way upstairs and into Rachel’s office. Even with coming here several times a week, it feels like every day we come, there’s more work than the day before. It’s all piling up in Rachel’s absence. But neither of us can complain about it when we know exactly why she can’t bear to be here.

We work side by side, mostly in silence unless there’s something we need to discuss. We’ve gotten into a fairly simple routine when we work here together. It keeps the business running smoothly even if we don’t have the same amount of time that Rachel and Alec had been dedicating to it.

It’s a few hours later when Ryder gets up from his chair and stretches while yawning. “How is it she doesn’t have anyone else to count on within her own business?” he questions as the door once again closes behind a couple of Rachel’s underlings after we gave them their orders and resupplied them.

I shrug, not because I don’t think the answer matters. It’s just not something that I’ve never fully understood about Rachel or Alec either. Scar has always been closed off, but Rachel gives a whole new meaning to keeping her cards close to her chest.

“I’m surprised she’s even letting us help her,” I admit. We’ve gained a lot more intricate understanding of how her business operates through this whole ordeal. If there was any doubt about if she trusted us or not, there isn’t anymore. Our empires have crossed past being allies and are close to being merged at this point. Though I know both Scar and Rachel will always keep a clear line drawn. You can’t have two powerful women that get along as well as those two do without clear boundaries.

I look down at Rachel’s desk as Ryder begins organizing the papers to take to her to keep her apprised of the decisions we’ve made.

Ryder clears his throat. “Strange to think how far we’ve all come since we first met.”

I chuckle with him. I never would have expected for us to end up here. When I reconnected with Scar, I saw it as my second chance. A chance to be what she needed this time. A chance to have the life I never thought I deserved. I just never pictured it would lead us here. Running a drug empire while our ally was in mourning. Rachel had always seemed as untouchable as Scar to me. That nothing would ever get to her.

This bloody war just proved how wrong I was about that. Now I can’t imagine how Scar would be if she lost one of us. Would she walk away from this whole world completely? It’s not like she hasn’t done it before. Create a new identity and try a new life and hope for happiness to find her in the third try? I don’t think so.

Rachel is pouring her everything into revenge, that’s exactly what Scar would do too. She wouldn’t stop until she got it. The difference is Rachel doesn’t need this part of her empire to get it, she just needs Scar. So at Scar’s side she will remain until they both get their vengeance on the man behind both of their downfalls. If Romano wasn’t such a piece of shit, I may even feel bad for the guy for what he has coming.