Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen Scar

Tighteningthe straps of my backpack, I stare up at the wall. They weren’t wrong, should be a piece of cake to get over.

Now it’s just a matter of what’s waiting for us on the other side. I check my watch and wait for Joe to give us the all-clear from the van where he’s watching a live feed from a drone. Elle wasn’t exaggerating when she said they had eyes on the place before we got here. Asher handed over not only the blueprints but surveillance notes. They were almost as good as my own, including the number of guards, their rotations, and the routes they take around the perimeter with approximate times. It was more than I could have expected to have going into such a last minute mission.

It isn’t like us at all to rush into something like this, but after weeks of sitting on our hands, none of us have enough sanity left for caution. We’re now putting our fate in the hands of karma and hoping these connections have pulled through for us.

I’m already rather fond of these kids. I don’t see a reason to doubt their skills after everything they’ve already pulled off in this town. I watch Ash out of the corner of my eye, but he doesn’t seem fazed or jittery at all. He really does fit right in with us.

I trade looks with Kade when I notice him also watching the kid, a sly grin on his face. “Just like old times,” he mouths to me as we wait. I shake my head, but he isn’t wrong. It does feel a bit like old times, the two of us scaling walls and waiting for an all-clear signal. The only difference is I never used to have a tsunami rushing through me on our old runs. A calm would always wash over me any time I knew I was about to have blood on my hands.

Not today. I have to force down the churning in my gut and push the anxiety and excitement away in order to stay sharp. I focus on the plan again. Simple but effective. Divide and conquer.

“Team one, clear,” Joe’s low, rumbling voice sounds in my ear and I breathe a sigh of relief. Here we go. We hold our position and I close my eyes to imagine Luca, Noah, Ryder, and Rachel getting over the east end of the wall.

“Heard,” Luca responds. Only moments later adding, “We’re in. No sign of guards. Holding position.”

“Guards turning the west corner, team two is clear to move.” Both Kade and Asher nod for me to go first. A grin is my only acknowledgement before tackling the wall and dropping silently on my feet on the other side.

“Heard,” Kade says, a huff in his voice. I wait for him and Ash to make it over the wall and land at my sides.

“All in, still clear,” I finish.

From here we can’t see Luca and the others, nor will we be able to see the last group with Holden, Ty, and Declan. We will follow the same route Elle and her crew took, directly through the back patio while Luca’s team should have split off with him and Rachel moving to the front to dispatch the guards before coming in through the front doors. The remaining teams will use their respective side entrances to clear out the guards and isolate Romano.

“Guards are back to posts by the front gate,” Joe informs us. “Team three is clear to move.”

“Heard,” Declan answers. In the same pattern as before, it’s only a few minutes before he adds, “We’re in and clear. Holding position.”

“In position,” Luca answers as soon as the final team has made it over the wall.

I hold my breath as we hear a guard call out, close enough for the mic to pick up clearly, followed by the sounds of a struggle and gurgled words.

“Two down,” Rachel says, far too chirpily.

Joe rumbles a deep laugh. “Clean kill, girly.” The pride in his voice unmistakable and I wonder if it soothes some of her past hurt from her neglectful father the way it always does mine. “All teams clear to move in,” he adds, amusement still coloring his tone.

Silence follows as we all drop the antics and focus on moving in as silently and stealthily as possible. I’m impressed with the way Asher matches Kade and I stride for stride, never making any more noise than we would. I knew I didn’t have to worry about inviting him to join us.

We reach the back doors and don’t even need to utilize Kade’s skillset to get in, opening the door easily. I motion for them both to stay close, eyeing Asher a beat longer to emphasize my point. He doesn’t seem the type to take directions from just anyone, but I don’t care if this is his town, it’s my mission. He nods his head in acquiescence. I believe him, even if it was a bit reluctantly he did so.

We know the floor plan, but no way to know where the guards will be within the house or where Romano currently is. It was the biggest reason why we decided to attack the house from every angle in order to ensure the least amount of damage to us, while being sure Romano had no chance to slip out of our grasp.

We move on silent feet as we move through the back of the mansion. The first two rooms we pass through are empty, but just as we’re about to exit the second room into a long hallway, voices rise. I hold my hand up and all three of us pause. Kade flattens himself against the wall behind me, as Asher does the same on the opposite side of the frame. Dropping to my knees, I hold my breath as I listen for the footsteps and different timbres of voice coming down the hallway. I hold up two fingers to indicate how many guards there are. Asher acknowledges me with a nod while Kade presses a hand firmly to my back.

They’re coming down the hallways from our side, meaning Asher will be the first to lay eyes on them. I stay in my crouched position, watching his eyes for the moment they enter his line of sight. His eyes harden and his lips quirk up in half a smile, and he takes several steps back to stay hidden. Giving me the perfect amount of notice before two bodies are passing the doorway.

Both guards are oblivious to our presence as they focus on the conversation between the two of them. Idiots. I guess we shouldn’t really be surprised. It isn’t like Donahue was going to waste his best men on protecting someone he isn’t even sure is worth keeping alive.

As soon as they pass the open doorway, I launch myself from the ground and wrap my arm around the neck of the guard that was further away and cling to his back. I expected Kade to be only half a step behind me, to silence the other one, but huff a chuckle as I find Asher’s blade in his throat instead. The guard under me struggles and Ash raises a brow where my feet dangle. I shrug, well as much as I can, as I put the majority of my strength into choking out the beefy guard as he tries his best to dislodge me.

A laugh eddies up through me as Asher knees him in the nuts, making him drop his knees. I land on my feet, and release the chokehold only to snap his neck instead, now that I have the momentum and balance to pull it off.

Kade studies him but before he can say anything Asher begins ticking off his fingers. “It was faster than him slowly suffocating. And two, I took care of the other one so you’d stop babying me.”

“Fair enough,” Kade concedes and the three of us begin to move in unison again.

We kill three more guards before running into Luca and Rachel at the designated meeting spot just behind the stairs that lead to the upper floors. Still no sign of Romano. It’s only a few more minutes before the other teams reach us as well, both Declan and Ryder shaking their heads. I shouldn’t be surprised, they would have said something through the coms had anyone found Romano, but an antsy feeling slithers down my spine at not having my hands on him yet.

I force myself to remain calm as each team discloses how many guards they ran into, bringing the total of dead guards to thirteen. There should only be two guards and Romano left. I check the time, but no one else should be arriving until tomorrow morning for a shift change. Joe is parked down the street but between the drone and his vantage point, he will be able to warn us with plenty of time of any unexpected visitors.

Trying to get all of us up the stairs without drawing attention is another matter altogether. Even as quiet as we all are, that’s a big feat considering just how many of us there are. I gesture for Noah, Tyler, Declan, Ryder, Holden, and Asher to stay here. None of them seem happy, but at least no one gives me lip. We need someone to stay down here to watch our back and block the exits and the two guards left should be a piece of cake if we can just make it to the top of the stairs.

Ryder and Tyler follow the rest of us to the base of the stairs, their weapons drawn and ready to cover our backs as we make our way up. The others fan out around the bottom of the stairs, their eyes trained at the top.

I meet Luca’s eyes and nod to Rachel. He grimaces but agrees, he’ll have her back, even if it means not being able to focus entirely on me. As we climb the stairs, all four of us stay in a single file line, hugging the wall and taking each step carefully, weapons held against our thighs. Ready to use, but only as a last resort. We don’t want Romano to know we’re coming. Let him have a few more moments of delusional peace.

We make it to the top without incident, much better than the gun fight that was happening in my mind’s eye as a worst case scenario. Luca and Rachel take the left, while Kade and I begin to move towards the right. We clear each room as we go, but don’t find anyone. With each step, the tension ratchets higher and I become more and more sure that he must either be in the office or master bedroom. I can see both doors from here, but both are closed.

Kade and I edge our way towards the office door. We pause and I press my ear against the door and hear the low rumble of conversation. At least two people are behind these doors. I hesitate, waiting to confirm all three are in there before kicking down the door. It takes a few minutes but I finally hear the familiar drawl of Romano. I crack my neck and grin savagely at Kade.

I click the safety on my gun off and raise it in my hands. Kade follows suit before sending the door crashing open. We lift our weapons at the same time. I barely spare a glance for where Romano sits behind his desk, a laptop in front of him. My focus immediately lands on the two guards, one standing at either side of him.

I’ve fired off my shot and hit the guard on the right between the eyes, before he ever had a chance to yell, let alone pull his weapon. The other guard drops only a moment later and both Kade and I lower our weapons to Romano’s shocked form before he’s even processed his last two guards are dead.

“Did you really think you could hide from me?” My heart races as elation fills me as his mouth drops open and he desperately begins to scramble. Kade moves swiftly to his side, pressing the gun to his temple and Romano freezes. I can’t help the chuckle that escapes at finally having him in my grasp, under my thumb, completely at my will. My hands shake from the influx of emotions in a way I’ve never experienced before.

Luca and Rachel appear in the doorway and Luca immediately moves to Kade’s side to pull Romano’s arms behind his back. Kade holds him in place as Luca searches his body and pulls a few weapons off his person and tosses them on the desk in front of him. With them he also tosses a phone, a wallet, and a small journal down.

“Asher, you’re free to begin your search. Ty and Holden, stay put and keep watch. Make sure to have his back.” They both grumble at not being able to watch but it dies down quickly. “The rest of you can head up to the office, we have him bound and secured.” Even I can hear the slight manic edge my voice has taken but no one calls me out on it, even if I do hear a few chuckles.

“Still clear from out here,” Joe adds. “Another kid is here, said Asher sent for him. If he needs more backup I can send him in.”

“Tell him to stay put,” Asher practically growls, making me snort. “He’s only here for cleanup.”

“Got it,” Joe responds, laughter in his tone.

Kade and Luca have gotten Romano perfectly situated in the middle of the room as everyone else gets settled. As soon as Declan, Ryder, and Noah make their way into the room, we’re all ready to go.

Rachel drops her bag with a loud thunk as it hits the floor in front of Romano’s bound feet. Her face is still heavily lined with grief, but at the moment, it’s almost untraceable. A mere shadow that only serves to contrast the brilliant glow of her finally getting her vengeance.

“What do you have in there?” I tease her, excited to see how she works up close and personal. It was an easy decision to let Rachel take the lead here. She needs this more than any of us. He may have answers for me, maybe the missing piece I’ve needed all these years, but he stole something irreplaceable from her. Her wound is fresh, still aching and bleeding. There’s been no time for it to wear down into a scar, to heal enough to not still steal the air out of her lungs every morning when she remembers Alec is gone.

“You’ll see,” she promises, a wicked glint in her brown eyes.

The guys span out around the room, knowing exactly what is needed from them. Silent support. We’ll take our cues from Rachel.

I click my tongue as I watch her preparing. “He likes to pull out teeth when he tortures people,” I tell her conversationally.

“Oh yeah?”

I hum as I nod, even though she isn’t looking at me. “Tried it once,” I admit. “When I was killing that senator and framing him.” I shrug as I remember that kill. It wasn’t as sweet as this one will be. “It was kind of fun. Messy though, not as satisfying as I thought it would be. I probably wouldn’t do it again but it was worth trying.” Romano pales behind the gag and I can’t help but smile over that reaction.

We always knew he was going to be easier to break than William. Romano never expected to be in a position like this. If he was smart, he would have killed himself before we ever got our hands on him. But he’s too much of a coward for that. Always having other people do his dirty work, never really getting his hands dirty. I’m not even sure if he knows how.

Cunning. Ruthless. Greedy. A businessman. Those are the things that made him successful. Not his strength or loyalty or bravery. No, he doesn’t have any of the things you really need to be able to keep your mouth shut when under torture. He’ll be easy to break.

“I think I’m going to pass on that,” Rachel answers lightly.

Declan stands directly behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders and squeezing gently. Instinctively, I lean into his touch, resting against his chest and allowing him to encase me in his arms.

A sigh escapes, just loud enough for him to hear. The abundance of energy that’s been ravaging through me settles just a little bit in his arms. Just enough for me to think clearly again. To feel more in control. We’re too close for me to forget who I am. Who I’ve forged myself into. I don’t lose control. I can’t afford to change that here. Not when answers are so close.

Who raped me?

Who tortured me?

Who ruined my life?

How did they know to go after the club?

Why did Alec have to die?

Romano knows all that and more. We just need to pry the answers out of him. Good thing, we can have so much fun while doing that.

Rachel leans down and pulls something long and slender from her bag. It takes me a moment to realize it’s a cattle prod. She brandishes it in front of him, letting him get a good look before she stabs the prongs against his neck. His body convulses under her touch as the voltage shocks through his system.

“I’m more of a minimal effort, maximum impact, kind of girl.” Her smirk is full of savagery and vengeance. She looks powerful as stands over him, hitting him again with the prod before he’s even stopped trembling from the first shock.

Ryder whistles as he watches her go at him again and again in the same spot. Moving away briefly before hitting him again back where she started. The acrid smell of urine burns through the air. Now we’re getting somewhere.

Romano’s face flushes red as tears and sweat pour down his face. He pants heavily, struggling to catch his breath as she backs away.

“I think he might be ready to answer some questions. What do you think?” Rachel asks.

I push away from Declan as I move to stand by her side and he lets me go, his arms falling back down to his sides. “Did you know we were going to attack the auction?”

“Of course not, you stupid bitch,” he pants, the words coming out thready. “You ruined everything with that stunt. If I knew I would have put a bullet between-” His words are harshly cut off in a scream as Rachel hits him again with the prod. This time in the dick.

“We don’t need a fucking monologue,” she hisses. “Did you know? Yes or fucking no?”

He shakes his head rapidly.

We trade looks and I see my own thoughts reflected in her eyes. If he knew it was going to happen, he would have stopped it before we had a chance to pull it off. It wouldn’t have gone off as perfectly as it did had he had any inkling.

Rachel crosses her arms in front of her chest, as she studies Romano. He shifts uncomfortably in the chair, but is tied too tightly to really achieve much movement. Sweat drips down his forehead and into his eyes, making him squint as he tries to meet my eyes.

“Where were you that day?” Rachel asks, lifting the prod, but holding off on using it.

He sucks in air, fear palpable in the air around him. “Why does it matter?” Wrong answer. I grin, knowing what’s coming without Rachel ever having to make a move. His shriek of pain is music to my ears as she hits him with the prod again.

“Want to try again?” I taunt him.

A different kind of pain enters his eyes. “I was looking for Ciar.”

I can’t help but laugh. “You found him, alright.” His gaze hardens on mine and he begins shaking the seat as he fights to be freed from his restraints. No doubt to wrap his hands around my throat and squeeze the life out of me.

Rachel shuts him up with that nifty little tool of hers. I should really consider adding something similar to my own arsenal. I watch with a sick satisfaction as his body twitches and convulses in his restraints.

“So where exactly were you before you found him?”

He grits his teeth as he stares me down. “The warehouse district.”

Rachel and I trade looks. There’s nowhere near Unbidden Desires. How exactly does it all tie back to there?

“What did you do when you found out the auction had gone up in flames?” I push.

“I went back to my hotel,” he sputters. “Found Ciar where you left him and left town.”

I tap my fingers along the arm of the chair Romano’s strapped in. “You didn’t seem too concerned about your son when you abandoned his body there.” I point out. “Seemed to care only about yourself as you tucked tail and ran for the hills.” I turn my attention to Rachel and give her a subtle nod before backing away from him.

Rachel starts back up with her prod and I turn my back to focus on Declan again. We can let her get some of her rage and aggression out, get her pound of flesh before we try and dive back in for more answers. Maybe after that, he won’t have so much to say. Maybe he’ll stick to just the answers we’re wanting from him.

She takes her time, adding in new methods every once in a while to keep Romano from figuring out a pattern. The smell of burning flesh fills my nose and I finally pull away from Declan once more. He isn’t giving us anything useful. Nothing that would indicate how he knew to attack the club, or even that he did attack it. Rachel has asked every question we could think of. Danced around the topic in an attempt to trip him up, but nothing. He’s giving us nothing.

Still, I was right. He’s too weak to be holding up this well under torture. He’s a sniveling, sobbing, coward. He isn’t giving us answers, not out of some righteous last fight, or even out of loyalty to someone else. No. He’s not answering because he doesn’t have the answers we want.

Rachel’s moves become less precise with every blow. Her agitation gets the better of her as she rears back and uses the prod to smack him across the face. His head snaps back, blood and spit flying in an arc across the room.

I cross my arms in front of my chest, watching his chest heave as his head drops back in front of him. Time to stop beating around the bush. “What’s your connection to Unbidden Desires?” My eyes stay locked on him, watching, waiting, needing to see how he reacts to the question.

He keeps his head bowed, but it’s just enough that I can still see his emotions flicker across his face. A furrowed brow, a momentary pause, a slow smile that spreads across his beaten face before a maniacal, bloody cough wracks his body.

“You want to know about the explosion.” He doesn’t say it as a question, he already knows that’s what we’re after. But I have my answer. I search out the eyes of first Luca and then Declan, they have more experience with men like Romano than anyone else. I see my conclusion reflected back in their eyes. Rachel is just too emotional to see it. “There were lots of reasons to blow that place up,” he says smugly, the blood dribbling from his mouth detracting from his sense of a win. “Hearing it took out one of your own was just a cherry on top.”

His laugh is caustic, grating on the very edge of my nerves. There’s nothing more I’d like to do than silence him once and for all, but we aren’t done. Not yet.

His glare lands on Rachel where she’s firing up a brand, turning the metal that red hot color that glows. His smile never falters, his words the only weapons he has available to him now. “I couldn’t have planned a better hit on the legendary Snow Queen if I tried to.” He coughs, but Rachel doesn’t falter. “But I was never your enemy, Rachel.” His eyes dart to her side, where they land on me. “Maybe you should be looking a little closer to home.”

Her torch goes out, and Ryder quickly grabs it from her before she can drop it. Rachel smirks, ignoring his words as she presses the brand into his chest, right into the tender flesh over his heart. His screams make my ears ring and the burning scent makes my stomach turn, but Rachel holds steadfast, pressing the brand into him even harder as he fights to separate himself from it. She pulls back, leaving a perfect rose in the brand’s place.

“That new?” I ask her.

She gives me a small grin. “Thought it fit.”

I nod in agreement. It most certainly does. She takes a step closer to me, and I grip her arm to pull her into my side. I whisper into her ear that I think it’s time to change lines of questioning. It’s clear he’s trying to plant seeds of doubt in Rachel’s head about us. I’m not worried about her regretting her choice to trust us. We’re far too past that point now. But he’s given us everything he can on Alec. The attack on Unbidden Desires wasn’t done in retaliation for the auction. Now that I know that, I’ll get the rest of the answers on my own.

Her eyes are still filled with pain as she studies me, hesitating. She doesn’t want to be done yet. I shrug and gesture for her to continue. Allowing her to continue being the one to question him should keep Romano from guessing what else we’re truly after.

I turn my back to him, dismissing him for what he will soon be–irrelevant. Forgotten. Moving behind the desk he was sitting at when we first walked in, I kick the dead guard’s body out of my way as I settle behind his computer to take a look at what he was doing.

After a few minutes, it’s easy to tune out the cries and whimpers as Rachel has her fun. When she gets to the real questions I’ll start paying attention again. Right now, all she’s doing is laying the foundation.

Clicking through the tabs he had open, I don’t find anything of immediate interest. Some email correspondence between him and Donahue. Not entirely surprising. They’ve always been far too blasé about their security. That is what got us into this entire mess after all. Leaving evidence so easily accessible. Turns out they haven’t learned much.

Even after reading through several of their emails, there’s no new information. Nothing at all that interests me. Just a bunch of complaints and whining. I’m almost surprised Donahue hasn’t already killed Romano based on these emails alone. Demanding little thing.

Noah takes over going through his files as I begin to get bored. Antsy. Patience has never been a huge struggle for me, but all of a sudden everything is taking too damn long. I want answers. I want them now.

Rachel is dragging useful information out of him about his gun trades and work with the Alvarados. A flicker of pride momentarily eases my frustration. She seems more herself here, taking charge. Asking her own questions that will give her a leg up when she does begin her dealings with them.

She switches gears again and begins to ask about the human side of his trafficking enterprises. He laughs, but it isn’t as smug this time. More disbelieving. “Don’t tell me the Snow Queen and Little Miss Rose over here are getting into the skin markets.”

The very idea repulses me and I shudder where he can’t see me. Rachel, however, keeps her cool. At least one of us does. She shrugs. “We have our own reasons for wanting to know.” Her smile is pure malice. There’s no more sign of cattle prod, seeming to have fully moved on to branding his flesh if the overwhelming smell is anything to go by.

I trail my fingertips over the desk, watching Noah work on his computer when I spot the book we found in Romano’s pocket. It’s small, dark, and worn. Like it’s very old and something that has been touched quite a lot. Shaking my head, I finger through the pages, huffing a breath of annoyance. Names and names and names. So many names. Ones I recognize.

How on brand of him to have a little black book. It’s easy to see with just a quick glance that we already have many of these names on the list we’ve been compiling. I toss it in Noah’s direction and am surprised, as well as a little turned on, when he catches it in his hand and gives me a droll look. I grin as I move on to Romano’s wallet.

Throwing down several IDs we’ve already discovered, I roll my eyes. Credit cards, boring. Not very much cash. I pocket it anyways. As I pull it out, I notice some other cards in a slip. Taking them all out, I toss the insurance cards out of the way. How ironic. A coupon? Really?

I freeze.

Black edges over my vision as my fingers tighten over the remaining stack in my fingers. Hallucinating. I have to be hallucinating. I don’t remember falling asleep, but there’s no other explanation than being stuck in the middle of a new nightmare.

The smell of smoke rises up in my nose until it’s the only thing I can breathe. My lungs tighten as I fight to take a full breath, but my vision blurs. My mind already knows how futile this fight is. Flames lick up my exposed skin and I can feel the blood soaking my clothes. Smell the coppery tang in the air that mixes with ash and something that turns my stomach.

Vodka.

I drop my free hand to the desk, tightening my fist around it. Trying to ground myself back into reality. Shaking my head to clear the haze of my past, I let my eyes wander over the desk once more. A clear crystal glass sits in front of where Romano was sitting. Half full. A clear liquid inside.

All of my focus is on that insidious liquid. It can’t be. I don’t want to believe it, but I have to check. Raising the glass to my nose, I take a small whiff. My stomach churns, the contents of the breakfast Noah forced me to eat about to make a reappearance.

I don’t black out. I’m starkly aware of every moment that happens as I scream a sound so full of hurt and rage and agony, it doesn’t even sound human. Glass shatters, raining shards of crystal over the floor as the glass that was just in my hand hits the wall on the opposite side of the room.

Everyone freezes, no one even breathes. Their eyes on me, confusion and worry warring in their heavy gazes as they track me. I’m aware of every step I take towards Romano. The knife I pull from my holster and stick in his gut, twisting it as he squeals. I’m aware of all of it. But I’m in control for exactly none of it.

Instinct, a primal need for revenge has taken over me. Something inside of me finally breaks as I’m forced to face the worst night of my life in full color. Preserved in pristine detail in a handful of polaroid pictures clutched in my hands.

A mad woman, a psychopath, a loose canon, a serial killer. I’ve been called all that and more, but never have I felt that need inside me more than this moment.

My face is level with Romano’s, his eyes so full of pain I almost want to snap my own picture to take as a keepsake. Keep it in my wallet and carry it with me everywhere for the next decade to memorialize the very worst moments of his life. To capture the pain I was able to bring him that couldn’t possibly compare to the pain he once brought me.

Always there.

He has been right there in front of us for so many years. I never saw it. Still can’t remember it. Can’t remember him.

I show him the stack of photos clutched in my hands. There’s three or four of them. I know there must have been more at one point, but seeing the very first one was enough to kill the last bit of sanity I had left.

“Let’s go down memory lane together,” I whisper, my voice rough and unrecognizable even to myself. I show him the first photo that caught my eye, that stopped me in my tracks. The familiar cheer uniform, ripped and bloodied. The tangled mane of blonde hair, streaked with the same blood, fisted by none other than the sick man in front of me. The side of my face is visible, pressed against my father’s desk, one eye squeezed shut and my mouth open in a scream I can almost hear. Can feel in my bones. The pain that nearly speared me in half rises to the forefront of my mind as I dig the blade in his gut deeper.

He coughs, blood dribbling from his mouth. The opposite of how he looks in the photo. Standing behind me, one hand on my back, pressing me down to keep me in place, the other in my hair. A look of bliss on his face. Bliss. A stark contrast to the agony of my own young face.

I throw the photo to the ground, an inhuman laugh slipping past my suddenly parched lips. The next one shows what I already knew to be true. A close up that proves that Romano was the one to sodomize me. To tear me open in a whole new way. To cause damage that took nearly a decade to finally even begin to recover from. A pain far worse than even my virginity that Donahue stole only minutes prior.

The last photo is of just me. Beaten, bloodied, broken on the floor. Eyes closed, looking almost lifeless. I almost laugh. Maybe I do laugh.

“What made it so special you had to keep tokens in your wallet all these years?” I spit out the words, my blade digging through his flesh as I jerk the knife up.

He tries to answer, or at least I think he does. But all that comes out is more blood.

Blood. Blood. Blood.

Everything is coated in blood. All the time.

“Who else was with you that night?” I force the question out through my panting breath. I can barely breathe. The phantom pain rips through me, leaving barely any room to think. “Donahue? Who else?”

Recognition lights in his eyes as they lock on mine. The only part of me that hasn’t changed in all these years.

“Who else was with you the night you raped me?”

His mouth opens once more, but all that comes out is useless sputters. His eyes slowly close and I scream, pulling my knife free from him and stumbling back. My feet slide and strong hands catch me, steadying me back on my feet. I blink as I stare down at the knife in my hand, dripping into a large pool of blood that surrounds Romano’s now lifeless body. I blink again, not comprehending how he could already be dead. Where did all the blood come from?

How can it already be over?

I didn’t get my fucking answers.

I scream again, salt filling my mouth. I don’t understand it. The saltiness that hits my tongue. Shouldn’t it be blood, like every fucking thing else? I use the back of my hand that is still wrapped around the blade to wipe at my face. I feel the blood that smears over my cheek as I do, but as I stare at the back of my hand, I realize I’m crying. For the first time, I notice the gaping hole in his midsection that goes from his bellybutton to his sternum. Rage like nothing I’ve ever felt before fills every ounce of my being and I throw myself at him again, sinking my blade into him again and again and again.

It still isn’t enough.