Prologue

Prologue Charlotte

8 years ago

Burning. Everything burns.

I try to open my mouth, to scream, to cry, to breathe. Anything. But I can’t.

Each failed attempt fills my already exhausted lungs with more smoke, making me slowly suffocate on ash and my own tears. It burns so much. Heat washes over me in a never ending wave of pain as even my insides feel torn apart by hot coals with every whisper of a breath as I continue to fight.

My head lulls uselessly forward as I finally accept my defeat. Maybe there’s less regret to be found in the rising smoke that fills this room.

What reason do I even have to live anymore?

Everything hurts. Everyone’s gone. It’s all been taken from me. It would be better to just lay here, let the flames and smoke take me. Rise to the sky on the gray plumes that are slowly killing me. Become one with the very hell that is consuming me. That already consumed my family, my home.

What’s even left? Pieces of me better left forgotten.

“Charlotte! Charlotte! Where are you?”

Is someone calling my name? No. Just let me die. I’m not worth saving. Not anymore. Even my mother said so. That’s why she set the fire after all. Why she killed my sisters. I wish she stopped after putting a bullet in my chest, made sure I was dead, and then just covered it up. Wish the twins could have lived a full life. They deserved more than I ever could.

“Charlotte!”

Dammit. My head hurts. I can’t think past the pain consuming me. I try to force my eyes open but all I can see is black. It isn’t worth the roiling of my stomach to even try. I just wish they would go away.

“Charlotte! Please!” The voice sounds closer but oddly distorted. Like I can’t really make out the words.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

A whimper breaks through my lips as pain ratchets through my body. My stomach finally gives into the growing nausea and vomit works its way up my throat. I don’t have the strength to turn my head and start coughing as it chokes me. Burning from inside and out. Any second now. Any second now I’ll fade into nothing and finally be free.

Just let me die.

My head is tilted to the side and vomit expels from my mouth. It’s too much. The movement makes my head swim and I lose myself to the agony. Hoping for the black to take over once more and this time, never lift.

“I got you now, Tootsie Roll. You’re going to be okay.”

No. No you don’t. No one’s got me and I really don’t want to be okay anyway.

I just want the storm to take me.