Chapter 79

HARPER

L ast night was not like the others. I just sat there, and watched, while he put his mom's remaining keepsakes into boxes. He didn't speak; Neither did I. I knew that wasn't what he needed. He needed me to be his strength as he crumbled to pieces. He needed me to be there as he picked up all those pieces and put them back together. He didn't need me to help him do it, he needed to feel my presence to encourage him to push forward. He needed closure, to say goodbye to what once was so that he could welcome what lies ahead.

He'll never forget her and when he has children of his own, he'll teach them all the things that she taught him, all her loving ways and morals, but he needed to close this chapter of his life.

Dinner was quiet but not uncomfortably so. We were both fine with eating in silence and accepting just the company of the other.

There were no words to share, no physical emotions to recognize. We were just simply present. I was aware of his pain, his trauma—trauma that haunted him. He had to address the issue, and I was supportive of it, he showed understanding towards mine every day.

After I finished my glass of wine I stood to clear our plates from the table, he reached up pulling me down to straddle him. I did so with no resistance. I wanted to touch him, to hold him. I wanted to take all that pain away from him, but even I couldn't process this for him. He had to do it on his own.

I threw my arms over his shoulders and just stared at him, giving him complete control of what happened next. I placed his forehead against my chest and took a deep breath as I ran my fingers through his hair.

His shoulders began to rise and fall, and his soft sobs could be heard, slightly muffled as he was nestled against my chest.

I knew this wouldn't be easy for him. It wouldn't be easy for anybody in his place.

After a few minutes, the sobbing stopped, and he raised his head to look at me. He stared into my eyes as if he were looking for something. Like he was staring straight into my soul. I saw so much pain there.

"She would have liked you." He said with a raspy voice. I stayed quiet letting him talk through his emotions.

"She talked about one day having grandkids and seeing me get married. Her vision of me making a life for myself." He shook his head slightly as if to clear the fog.

"That's why I went to law school. That's why I fought so hard to be what I am. I couldn't end up like him." His voice broke at the end.

"You are nothing like him. Your heart is too big, and your compassion is too sincere. You could never be like him." I tried to stay quiet, I couldn't sit by as he doubted himself, doubted his choices.

"She was going to leave him," he said with certainty. He was quiet for a minute.

"One night I was in the study hiding behind one of the bookcases. I used to hide there and play with my Matchbox cars. She didn't know I was there; she came in yell whispering to somebody. The shelf covered my view of who it was, but I heard a male speak. She was crying saying she couldn't leave me. He was assuring her that my father wouldn't hurt me. That they would come back for me. She refused. Then two weeks later she was murdered." He said the last part in a whisper. He looked away as if remembering the day she died.

"If she had just left with that man, maybe she would still be here." He put his head down in defeat. He was shaking. He blamed himself. I couldn't bear to see him put such a burden on his shoulders. He was just a child.

"No, Jasper you can't do this to yourself. You can't blame yourself for her murder. Any mother who cares for her child would never leave them behind, even for their own safety. Whatever reason she had for not leaving, she didn't because it was best for you. She put you first."

I slid my hands onto his face and lifted his chin to meet my gaze.

"She wouldn't want you sitting here blaming yourself. She loved you and there is nothing wrong with that Jasper. She chose your life over hers. Now live in her honor and live a happy life full of what she always wanted for you." I said with tears in my eyes. "Conquer all the things she would have wanted to see you conquer, do it for her but most importantly for yourself. Don't let your monsters win."

He leaned in kissing me like he's never kissed me before. So much emotion, so much unspoken but I could hear him loudly.

"I need you, Harper," his voice was laced with desperation. "I need you right now." He pulled away from me to look at my face as if he needed to be sure I knew what he was asking. I trust him. I know He would never hurt me.

"Take what you need from me, Jasper, I'm Yours," I whispered.

He looked at me with dark, hooded eyes, like he needed to unleash something he had been holding in. He reached up lacing his fingers into my hair, tugging it, tilting my head to get closer to my neck, he kissed and nipped at the sensitive skin. Every bite soothed immediately with his tongue.

My breath hitched when his fingers replaced his lips, squeezing lightly he pulled back and searched my eyes.

I nodded, pushing him to keep going. I wanted this, I wanted more. I wanted him.

"You sure about this, Doll?" he asked, in a breathy whisper. He leaned in kissing my lips. I pinched his lips through my teeth. With a smirk, I slowly let him loose.

"Oh baby, you asked for it," he teased.

I squealed when he lifted me onto the dining table, pushing me flat against the top and forcing my thighs apart in one swift movement. I bit back a nervous giggle. Trying not to make a sound, but he noticed.

I raised my gaze to meet his, where he sat on the chair, with his face between my thighs. He pulled me closer by the creases of my knees, leaving no space between my most intimate places, and his mouth. He breathed in a deep breath, and released it with a growl,

"Fuck Doll, you smell so fucking good." He chuckled when my face heated. "I'm going to devour you, make you scream, and then go back for seconds as your body squirms from beneath my lips," he teased as he slowly lowered my panties, leaving me bare with my maxi dress raised to my abdomen.

I watched him closely as used his tongue to trace invisible lines from my knee to my inner thigh, stopping each time, just before he reached my core.

I let out a gruntle moan in frustration.

"So greedy, aren't we," he taunted.

I didn't answer him, my words were caught in my throat as I tried to focus on what he was doing.

"Do you want me to taste you, Doll?" he asked as he teased my folds, slipping one finger in and out of me, covering his finger in my juices.

I nodded still unable to speak.

He slowly put his finger to his mouth and tasted me, moaning as he licked it clean. I watched with lustful eyes, waiting for him to put me out of my misery.

He noticed my anticipation, as he chuckled.

"Patience baby, I'll take care of you."

He gripped my hips and pulled me closer, burying his face into me before I could protest, his tongue was exploring every bit of me. He used his fingers to tease me as he sucked on my swollen bud. I threw my head back in complete ecstasy. I had never experienced anything like it. I've touched myself before, but never have ever felt this kind of pleasure. It was like a billion tiny bolts of electricity surging through me, igniting every hormone in my body all at once, as I exploded into complete euphoria.

I moaned loudly, not concerned with anyone hearing us outside. My mind was scrambled, lost in lust, when I screamed, "Oh yes, Jasper,"

I rode the wave of orgasm after orgasm, while my body vibrated, and I squirmed under his hold.

When he sensed I couldn't take anymore, he stood wiping his hand down his face, where clear remnants of my need dripped from his chin. I didn't even have time to clear my head of the fog before he was deep inside me, thrusting forcefully. His movements were hard and rough, but nothing I didn't enjoy.

He gripped my hips bruisingly. The sting of his fingers digging into me while he held me where he needed me, was a sting I welcomed.

I felt good, I felt sexy, and I felt needed, as he used me most wonderfully.

He pulled me up to a sitting position, bringing me eye to eye with him, as he stared into my eyes watching me as wave after wave of pleasure swept over me.

Without disrupting his rhythm, he slammed his lips against mine, his fingers wrapped around my neck tight, but I wasn't scared, I wasn't intimidated, I was excited, and loved every bit of it.

He slammed into me a few more times before he threw his head back and groaned loudly into his release.

Fighting to catch his breath, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. He held me in a tight embrace, while he rested inside of me. I was nearly naked, sitting and dripping on the dining table, but I couldn't be more content than I was at that very moment.

We stayed in that position for a while, as I listened to his heart rate normalize and his breathing regulate. Once he sensed I was calm he whispered into my hair, "Did I hurt you?" his voice laced with concern, opposite of the husky lustful growls he was speaking through, only moments prior.

"Not at all, I promise," I answered, sighing into his chest. He pulled me back looking into my eyes seemingly searching for any signs of stress or discomfort. When he didn't find it, he smiled and kissed me again.

"Thank you." He whispered.