Chapter 15

HARPER

" A ster, you've been at his house every night this week," I said as I laid on my stomach across her bed with my feet in the air, aimlessly scrolling through my phone.

"Is this going to be something serious?" I squinted my eyes as I playfully questioned her intentions with the new guy in her life.

"I don't know but I really like this one." She said with her eyes fogged in lust, I giggled.

"That's what you said about the last few guys. What's different about this one?"

"Harper, just because you have sworn off guys doesn't mean I have to. He's sweet and successful but mostly I like how he makes me feel smart. Like… around everyone else, he's this big shot but when it's just us he shows me a softer side, like it's a secret that only the two of us know. He listens to me. I don't know, whatever." She shrugged, a flicker of embarrassment passing through her eyes as she attempted to articulate her emotions.

What I had planned as an opportunity to tease her turned out more emotional than I anticipated.

"I'm happy for you, but it's still early, be safe."

She looked up at me after she shoved her makeup bag into the suitcase that still had the price tag on it, I looked at it with a raised eyebrow. She just shrugged it off.

"I will girl, you know me," She kissed me on the top of my forehead and then walked off, wheeling her suitcase behind her. She stopped at the door and turned around, her face thoughtful.

"Harper, I know you have your reasons as to why you don't let anyone close to you, besides me of course." She tossed her red curls over her shoulder, like she was entitled, and laughed playfully.

"Seriously though, I hope one day it's not so hard for you, that you find someone that makes it easy for you again. I love you and I'm never going anywhere. Hell, you know I'll make sure you have a room in my home if I ever get married, but I want you to find true love for yourself one day." her eyes glossy she quickly turned on her feet, with her back to me she shouted,

"See you in a couple of days sis! Love you like a fat kid loves cake." She kissed her fingers loudly smacking them and throwing them in the air behind her towards me, as the front door slammed.

I love her .

She worried about me, and I understood why but the things I went through still haunt me.

I once sought therapy, but it seemed the therapist was more intrigued by the gossip surrounding my story, which had made the front-page news in our town, than addressing the problems stemming from the incident. It lasted all of two weeks before I told her she was good for nothing, and I never went back. Aster has always been it for me.

My family

She was right, one day she would get married and realistically move away to be with her husband and I would no longer be her person, well not her only person anyway. If I didn't have her, I would have no one.

I headed to my room to change into comfortable clothes. I put on my favorite T-shirt, one that I've cherished for as long as I can remember. It's ripped and shredded in some places, but it's so comfortable I can't make myself throw it out. It's somewhat like myself; I may be broken and worn, but I'm not ready to give up yet.

I matched my t-shirt with some oversized sweatpants that had to be folded at the waist and my big fluffy Christmas socks. If Aster were still here, she'd be reminding me what time of year it is with a disgusted look on her face.

I threw my hair up in a high ponytail and went to the fridge. I loaded my arms with everything in sight to snack on. Chips and dip, cheese squares, some strawberries smothered in sugar, and a Coke. You know, a proper dinner for a single twenty-four-year-old female at home alone in the middle of the week.

I flipped through Netflix searching for a rom-com, that I hadn't already seen when I heard my laptop ding with a message. I glanced over to my phone to check the time, it was ten thirty-five. I thought maybe I forgot to log out of my work email, and it was another one of those emails about the incident at the club.

I decided to ignore it and pressed play on a movie I had already seen, weeks ago, but it was pretty good.

The movie was about a woman who buys a bed and breakfast, sight unseen, and when she travels across the world to go see it in person the whole thing is falling apart, and it looks nothing like the pictures online when she purchased it. Then the small-town handyman helps her. At first, they didn't like each other but eventually, they fell in love. It was so predictable and so normal, it's why I liked it, it made me feel less… messed up.

Curiosity got the best of me. I had to get up to check the email. You know how some people can leave unchecked notifications up on their emails and even their cell phones, yeah, I'm not one of those people. I opened my laptop to see it was a message from J.W. Oddly it made my heart skip.

That's weird.

Crediting it to nerves, I opened the message.

Harper,

You know it was strange I was having a bit of a difficult day, and it seemed to be running into my evening too but then I received a message from a beautiful lady and it brightened things up for me. I love opening an email from someone I saved to them calling me a ‘weirdo' and a creeper. LOL. I hope you are grateful for the ‘Creeper' lurking in the darkness'. Given that you keep responding to my emails, I'd say you kind of like this ‘weirdo'. :) To answer your question, yes, I do go to bars and lounges often. I do late business meetings in places similar to Afterglow, but it's not every day I have to jump into my Knight form and rescue damsels in distress. Although I would say you are far from a damsel in distress. You seemed to be able to handle yourself. That asshole had the element of surprise on his side, that's all. Otherwise, I have no doubt I would have had to save him from a crazed brunette with man issues. :) (Jokes, don't hate me.) If you went to the lounge with your friend, why were you walking out alone that night? Just curious where your boyfriend/husband was.

-J.W.

My face got hot after reading his message. He was right about one thing, I kinda like talking to him. It's easy, he seems to get me in a way that I haven't let anyone close enough to see. I don't know if it's the fact that I don't have to be close to him in a physical sense, or if it's the fact that he saved me, but I do enjoy our friendly banter.

Hey,

You're up late. Don't you have something better to be doing than messaging strange women? Oh wait you said crazed… :/ Lucky for you I know how to take a joke, and I sorta owe you one, or else I'd have you looking over your shoulder when you go outside. JK

So why was your day so difficult? I'm glad I could cheer you up a bit though.

To answer your questions, my friend met a man and went home with him that night or planned to. I was ready to go home because sitting there while men hit on me wasn't something I wanted to continue. As far as a boyfriend goes there is no one special in my life right now. However, I guess, it's appropriate to ask if there is a Mrs. J.W?

- Harper

I pressed send and closed my laptop. I was about to walk out of the room to get back to my movie when another message came through.

"Whoa, that was fast," I said to no one. I took my laptop and went back to the couch before I read the new message.

Hmm,

Someone is feeling feisty tonight, or are you always a little firecracker? I like it. Don't worry about me, I can handle a tough day, but it is nice to have someone to chat with to help keep my mind off things.

So, you say you were with your friend? Why would she just abandon you to go home alone at that time of night? Especially, when you were getting as much attention as you were in the lounge. You shouldn't go anywhere alone at night like that. It's not safe for a pretty girl like you. Oh, and no I'm not in a relationship currently. If I'm being honest, I've never been a relationship type of man. I guess I'm more of a casual lover kind of man.

Looking over my shoulder when I go outside huh? That's the first time I've ever been threatened by a woman let alone a tiny woman. What are you like four foot two? You don't scare me with your violent threats of harm.

(face with tongue sticking out)

So, what do you do for work?… or fun?… or anything?

-J.W.

Reading his message had me feeling odd. In any other situation, I'd already be having anxiety or extreme fear obsessing over what could possibly happen to me in responding to these but messaging him feels… Okay.

After rereading our message feed, I felt eager to respond but knew I needed time. The messages I sent didn't quite sound like me—or at least, not the fearful side of me. It seemed like I was beginning to release something. I wasn't sure, if what I felt was strange or just that I wasn't feeling anything bad.

Instead of messaging him back I closed my laptop and left it for another time. There's something strange about the calmness I felt interacting with this stranger, and it freaked me out a little.

After I turned off the TV and double-checked that all the doors were locked, and the windows had not been tampered with, I reset the alarm. I went to my room and turned down all the lights, except the bedside lamp. Pulling the big fluffy duvet over me, I nestled into my mattress. I grabbed my book from the bedside table.

After I suggested it to Jasper, at the bookstore, I decided I'd re-read ‘Into the Water'. It wasn't like I hadn't already read it about a hundred times. I enjoyed reading about a strong woman who can handle herself. It filled me with hope for my future. Maybe one day, I could be like the woman in the stories I read, where my strength would be shown, and I would no longer cower in fear.

Reading stories where the female character was always some lonely, fragile soul that needed to be saved never did it for me maybe because I was forced to learn the truth at a young age.

Prince charming never really comes to save you, and the ones you thought were your protectors, will more likely be the ones to hurt you.

You can't trust anyone, ever. There are no real fairy tale endings, just some situations that end better than others.

I opened ‘I nto the Water' to page one and started from the beginning.