Chapter Five

BANG! BANG! BANG!

My bedroom doorknob rattles.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

I jump off the bed and crouch on the ground, covering my head with my hands.

What the fuck is going on?

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Sadie. Open the door!"

It"s not gunshots.

It's something much worse.

Dad.

I glance at the alarm clock— 3:00 a.m. My entire body trembles as I push myself off the floor, holding back tears. Dad continues to beat on the door so hard, I fear it"s going to come off its hinges.

I don't know what pissed him off this time, but I am getting sick and tired of being on the receiving end of it. I could just jump out the window and drive over to Tia"s. But even if I did, he'll find a way to torture me even more. I know exactly what to expect once I open the door. Even after taking self-defense classes, my body completely shuts down, and all the training I"ve learned goes out the window.

My father is a big man. He"s ten times more lethal when he"s intoxicated. As soon as I unlock the door, it doesn't surprise me when I"m flying backward, landing on the floor. I quickly scramble back, putting my arms in front of my face to block whatever is heading my way.

His breathing is deep and heavy as his chest heaves. Sweat drips from his face as if he just finished running a marathon, bloodshot eyes and his long, rugged salt and pepper wavy hair is pulled half-up and half-down. He looks like a possessed Viking. He strokes his long silver beard as his pitch-black eyes pierce through my soul.

What did I do now?I cleaned the kitchen before I left. I took the trash out, and I did a load of laundry. There are clean towels in the closet.

"?Estás olvidando algo?" His scream makes me jump farther backward, my head slamming against the dresser.

Before I can respond, he lifts me off the ground by my hair, keeping my feet planted on the carpet. Reaching for his hands, I try to pull them away, but his grip is so firm. I wince as he begins to shake me violently.

"Please stop!" I scream, knowing it will only fuel his anger.

"Where's my money?" His grip tightens.

What is he talking about?

"You think you can steal from me?" He sneers.

No. I don't even know what's happening right now.

"You're just like your mother. Selfish." He throws me against the wall and the side of my head hits it. Before my body can land on the floor, he wraps his hands around my throat, squeezing tightly. I can barely breathe when he pulls me up until I"m standing upright against the wall.

He continues to yell in my face, spit flying out of his mouth. I claw and scratch at his hands, gasping for air, but he squeezes harder. His eyes are full of hatred as he stares into mine, draining the life out of my body. His hands begin to tremble around my throat, and he seethes through his teeth.

With no more fight left, I release my hands from over his, letting the tears fall down my cheeks as I close my eyes.

There's no one here to help me.

This is it.

This is how my father is going to end my life, with me never knowing what I did to make him hate me. To make him punish me. To make me suffer the worst of the worst. I try to numb the pain spreading through my body and the thoughts of hoping he will just kill me to stop the endless pain. The burning sensation on my face and tears running down my cheeks bring me back to reality. Finally, my throat is free from his grasp, but he raises his hand and strikes my face with an open-handed blow.

SMACK!

Another one. My head snaps to the side.

SMACK!

Another one.

The ringing in my ear echoes throughout my brain. Something thick and warm slides down my nose between my lips. Dad squeezes my cheeks in his hands and slams my head against the wall. The force is so intense I bite my tongue, drawing blood, and my vision blurs as my body drops to the floor, landing me on my knees.

Oh, God. Please make him stop.

"Dad, please," I beg, gasping to breathe while tears trickle down my face.

My father"s breathing is shallow and steady. My fear of looking up intensifies, but I need to know if it's over. I slowly lift my head while holding the back of it from the last blow, studying my father"s face. For a moment, he looks remorseful, but it's gone in a flash.

My body shudders when he bends down to face me and grabs my chin, pinching the skin. "Look what you made me do!" He grits his teeth and pauses until his glossy eyes narrow and the muscle around his jaw tightens.

"You're useless like your mother," he says in disgust. "I wish you were never born. The next time you think it's ok to steal from me, you're going to wish I killed you." He slurs his words through his clenched teeth. When I don't respond right away, he raises his hand at me.

"Yes, I understand," I quickly say in a whisper, covering my face with my hands, anticipating another blow. But it never comes. Instead, he slowly stands up, staggering into the walls and slamming the door behind him.

I close my eyes and lean my head against the wall, holding back a sob. Wishing this was a nightmare and I'm still sleeping.

What did I do this time?

Pain surges through my body, forcing me up from the floor. The severe, piercing pain in my head is making me nauseous. I crawl to the door and turn the lock before he decides to come back and finish me off. I stumble to the bathroom while holding onto the doorframe for balance until I reach the sink. I turn the faucet, waiting for the warm water to cascade into my hands.

Slowly lifting my face to the mirror, a silent whimper ejects from my throat as I watch the girl staring back at me in horror. Blood is still dripping from my nose. The skin on my cheek is bright red like a rash, both eyes are swollen and puffy from the tears, and two red thumbprints bruise my neck. Grabbing a washcloth from one of the drawers, I soak it with warm water and bring it to my face, holding it in one place for a few seconds. I need something to numb the pain and burning sensation.

My cries are muffled, and my shoulders shake as I hold the washcloth to my face. How did my life come to this? Last week I made the mistake of laughing while talking to Tia over the phone. Dad came home early that day and surprised me when he yanked away my cell phone, smashing it against the wall. Anger seethed through my body as I watched my cheap

burner phone break into a million pieces, scattering all over the tan living room carpet. After he destroyed my smartphone, I started to purchase disposable phones.

Before I could ask him what I"d done wrong, he slapped me and grabbed me by the collar, bringing my face close to his I could smell the reek of rum and cedarwood cigar.

My parents' bedroom door slams, causing the picture frames in my bedroom to shake. I pull myself together and walk out of the bathroom. I stagger to my bed and curl my legs to my chest with a tight grip on my pillow as I cry myself to sleep.