Chapter Twenty

After Mom's latest episode, things are quiet at home. Mom is back on her meds, Josiah comes over every night for dinner, and Dad still hasn't been home. Not that I'm complaining, but my fear grows the longer he stays away.

I've been ignoring Doni's phone calls and messages. He even started following me on Instagram. I realized after the diner incident it was best to keep our relationship as friends. I want more than anything to be able to spend more time with him even if we can't past the friend zone.

I'm jamming to Ava Max's "Blood, Sweat, and Tears" while pulling in the parking lot of the training center. After the attack, Detective Carter convinced me to take self-defense classes. He thought it would help build my confidence and learn different techniques that could help save my life if I ever had to use them…again.

Even though I trained hard every day for three months, I freeze and never remember how to defend myself against Dad. I don't know if it's because he catches me off guard 95 percent of the time or I'm just afraid he would kill me quicker if I fought back. One night I came home late from school because I missed the bus; he was so pissed off that he was waiting for me when I got home. He threw me to the floor and lifted me off the floor with one hand over my throat. There seems to be more bad memories than good lately.

Walking into the training center, I am greeted by Lexi, the front desk girl. God. It feels good to be back here. The atmosphere is full of positive energy that fuels my strength and confidence.

"Oh my god! Where the fuck have you been?" Lexi squeals, leaping out of her chair around the desk to meet me.

"Give me a hug, girl." Lexi shakes me with one of her crazy ass hugs.

"Hey, Lexi. You doing alright?" I pull her away before she sucks the life out of me.

"Same shit, different day." She shrugs and smacks her gum. "What about you?" She looks me up and down. "Damn, girl, you are looking good." I'm wearing blue camo workout legging that make my ass look phat, as Tia would say, and a sports bra with a solid black tank, and my favorite zip-up hoodie.

"Does Cesar know you were coming in today?" Lexi asks. "I didn't see your name on the schedule."

"No, he doesn't. I just assumed his schedule was the same."

"Oh yeah, it is. He's going flip his shit when he sees you." She gives me another hug.

"God, girl. I miss seeing you around here. We didn't think you were going to come back. You just left without saying anything."

"I'm sorry. Just got a lot going on."

"Everything ok?" Lexi gives me a worried look.

"Yeah, yeah. Everything's ok. I'm just ready to be back." Throwing my gym bag over my shoulder, I point behind Lexi. "I'm going to head to the lockers and get started."

"Yeah, girl. Go on and get it." She smacks my ass with a huge grin.

I make my way to the girl's locker room, throw my bag in one of the lockers, and head out into the gym. Cesar standing behind an uppercut bag holding onto it while a trainee beats the hell out of it. I glance behind Cesar and notice two fighters in the ring. I miss the days when Cesar and I would spend hours at a time in the ring to the point I refused to go home until I mastered the roundhouse kick. By the time I got home, I was so sore, I could barely move. I would throw myself on my bed without showering or changing into my PJs.

"Ok, that's good. Good work, Phillipe. Take five and we'll start training on the combos," Cesar directs.

Phillipe, who looks like Ed Norton in American History X with his shaved head, nods in my direction and jogs toward the locker room. And yes, I was ogling a sexy sweating man with strong muscular legs.

"Just can't help yourself, can you?" Cesar grins as he steps forward and pulls me in for a bear hug. Cesar is Puerto Rican in his mid-twenties with short black hair and a low fade on the sides, while the hair on top is styled like a quaff. He's wearing a tight black Henley shirt outlining every muscle detail and dark blue jeans that sit low at the waist. Both arms are covered in a sleeve tattoo.

"What?" I grin back.

"God, it's so good to see you, girl. Where have you been? I was worried when I didn't see you for a while. I tried to call, but you never returned my calls or text messages." The guilt sets in.

"I am so sorry. Work and school have kept me busy." He gives me the same worried look Lexi did earlier. "I'm fine, really," I reassure him.

He stares at me for a long minute until he finally pulls back. "Ok. If you say so." He winks and gestures for me to walk with him. "So, what brings you back?"

"Well, I miss you, and I miss training. I need to sharpen my skills." I always feel stronger and surer of myself whenever I train. Even though I don't stand a chance against my father, the adrenaline from training makes me feel alive and free. It's like my own personal high.

"Well, you came to the right place. Since you've been out of practice for a while, let's start with the basic strikes."

"The basics, really, Cesar?" I jokingly whine. "I was hoping we could go in the ring and box like we used to." I bounce lightly on my feet with my fists out and ready to box.

"Freddie!" Cesar laughs and yells across the gym to another trainer.

"Yeah, boss." Freddie runs up and stands next to Cesar. He's a lot bigger and more intimidating than Cesar.

"Hold the bag for my girl here while she practices her strikes."

"Yes, sir." He smiles and nods at me while he gets the bag ready for me.

"I still have a training session with another trainee for another forty-five-minutes. In the meantime, work with Freddie, and then you and I will go in the ring. Ok?"

"Yes!" I say excitedly as I punch my fist in the air. He smiles wide, removes the towel from his neck, and smacks me with it.

Freddie is no joke.

For the next forty-five-minutes, Freddie and I work on my jabs, uppercuts, and hammer punch. Freddie is a serious trainer. Never smiles, just orders me around. "Come on! Another one, five more, keep your feet on the ground and hold yourself up." He works me harder than Cesar ever did.

"Alright. That's enough. You did good, kid. Take a break," Freddie pats my shoulder and hands me my water bottle. I drop my ass on one of the benches with my eyes closed and lean my head against the cool wall. I wipe the sweat off my face and neck with the towel and take a huge swig of my water. I forgot how intense training can be on your body.

"Ready for the ring, my little fighter?" Cesar taunts me in a a friendly sarcastic tone. I must've fallen asleep because when I open my heavy eyes, it takes a minute before Cesar's face comes into focus. "How long have I been out?" I ask in confusion, wiping my eyes with the palm of my hand.

"About a half-hour." Cesar sits down next to me.

"What?" My body snaps forward to face him. "Seriously? Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Because you looked like you needed the rest." Cesar chuckles. "Are you sure you're doing ok?"

Cesar has always had a soft spot for me. One day, he admitted I reminded him of his younger sister who died at her rapist's hands a few years back. I remember hearing about it when I was in eighth grade. It was the most horrendous story I had ever heard. She would've been sixteen now. When I first met Cesar, he never spoke about her until I told him my story. After that day, he worked me hard and promised that if I ever had to come across another situation, I would be able to fight without fear.

"Yeah, I'm ok, really," I promise, keeping my eyes straight ahead.

"You know I'm here for you, right? Not just to train, but as a friend." I turn to face him. "I know, Cesar. Thank you," I say with a loving smile.

"Anytime, baby girl."

My body is sore as fuck. What the hell was I thinking going back in the ring? Cesar wasn't even trying to go easy on me.

Fucker.

Last night, I had to lift my legs over the tub so I could shower. I was in so much pain, it hurt to brush my teeth. My arms felt like they were being held down by a ton of bricks and I couldn't put on my pajamas. So, instead I said screw it and slept naked.

After our little moment, Cesar and I went head-to-head in the ring and boy did it feel good. It felt like I was Wonder Woman. I promised Cesar that I would stop by at least once a week. But with my work schedule and everything else, I know it won't be possible, but I told him I would try anyway.