Chapter 40

Donnie and I are both lying in my hospital bed, our bodies pressed close together as we stare deeply into each other"s eyes. After receiving the devasting news that

turned my world upside down in a matter of minutes, I lost it.

The shock was so overwhelming that I had to be sedated.

The pain in my heart was so intense that I could feel my heart breaking into a million pieces.

"What if something terrible has happened to her?" I ask Donnie, my voice quaking with fear.

Donnie"s warm hand rubs my belly in a circular motion. "We can"t think that way," he says in a soothing voice. "We have to trust that Javi will find her and bring her back to us."

Tears of fear and anguish pour out in a flood. "I should have fought harder, Donnie. I should have protected her."

"Don"t blame yourself, baby. If you had fought the intruder, she would"ve done much worse to you."

I tried to fight her.

God, did I try.

But I was caught off guard, and being pregnant made it more difficult to defend myself. It was at the moment I wished my self-defense training had kicked in.

There"s a moment of silence before Donnie"s voice cracks. "I"m sorry. This is all my fault. I"m so fucking sorry." His voice is heavy with regret.

I move closer to him and gently place my hand on his cheek. "What are you talking about? This is not your fault," I say.

Donnie"s eyes fill with tears as he slowly shakes his head in disappointment. "She"s missing because of me, because of someone's obsession with me."

"Donnie. It is not your fault that she"s fucked up in the head. Don"t give this person that power. And we don't know if it was Payton. The attacker was wearing a mask."

For a moment, silence consumes the room. The only sound that can be discerned is the rhythmic sound of our breathing.

"Am I going to lose you?" Donnie cries as tears spill down his face. "Are you going to take my children away from me?" He gasps for his next breath before he continues. "I can"t fucking lose you, baby. For eight years, I was lost without you. Please don"t leave me."

What the hell?

How could he think of asking me that?

He starts to turn away, but I grab his chin and force him to look at me. "Listen to me," I command. "I will never take your children away from you, and I will never leave you. Don"t ever ask me that again. You cannot blame yourself for something someone else did. That is not your burden to carry." I lean in closer, forcing his hand to move to my waist. I wipe the tears from his face and say, "I love you so much. I promise you, you will not lose us."

"You promise?" he whispers brokenly as if he is a fragile child, and it pains me to see how much he was blaming himself.

"On my life."

It has been three days since Tia was stabbed, and I am being released from the hospital after two days of observation. As for the twins, they are doing well and are unharmed.

These past few days have been tiresome, not knowing where Sophia is. The only things that keep me going are my boys and the thought of holding Sophia in my arms again, seeing her bright smile and hearing her infectious laughter. But I need to stay positive that Javi will do everything he can to bring her back to me.

Donnie enters the room with a wheelchair and asks, "You ready?"

I shake my head, firmly refusing to get into the contraption. "Nah-uh. I am not getting in that thing," I say, pointing at the wheelchair.

Donnie"s bright blue eyes contribute to his stern expression. "Yes, you are. It"s the doctor"s order."

I scowl at him.

However, in a flash, his face transforms into a boyish look, and he pleads with me, "Please?"

I let out a sigh. "Ugh! I can"t say no to those puppy eyes."

He grins in triumph.

Donnie pushes the chair beside me and locks the brakes. He extends his hands to me, and I reach out to grasp them. Once I"m seated in the chair, Donnie walks around the chair and leans down to unfold the footrests.

"Did you grab everything?" he asks.

"Jo took everything else, but I have one bag." I point at the chair by the wall where my bag sits.

Donnie twirls the chair around, and I grab the bag on the way out.

As we make our way down the long hallway, my eyes catch a glimpse of Miranda, the nurse walking towards me. "Hey," she says softly as she embraces me. "How are you feeling?"

I pull away and meet her gaze. "Physically, I"m fine," I reply, trying to keep my voice steady.

She looks at me somberly. "Don"t give up hope," she tells me. "You take care of yourself and those babies." She smiles, then reaches out and gently squeezes my shoulder before walking away.

Donnie wheels me toward the elevators. We ride the elevator in silence, watching the numbers on the screen increase as we approach the fifth floor, where Tia"s room is located. The doors slide open, and Donnie pushes me out and down the hall toward Tia.

We stop in front of her room.

He knocks lightly on the door, and a familiar voice responds, "Come in" in a soft, hoarse tone. Donnie pushes the door open with one hand while keeping the other on the handle of my wheelchair.

We enter the room, and I"m not surprised to see Ash sitting beside Tia, holding her hand, Palomo sleeping in the chair opposite Ash, and Tia sound asleep.

My throat tightens at seeing Tia in this state. Tubes snake in and out of her body, connected to various machines and monitors I"m too familiar with, beeping incessantly.

When Ash sees us, he lets go of Tia"s hands, springing to his feet, and strides purposefully toward me. He bends down and envelops me in a fierce hug. "I"m so glad you"re okay," he whispers against my hair.

I give him a tight squeeze. When we pull apart, I can see the toll the events have taken on him. He looks like he hasn"t slept in days. His face is haggard and drawn, with deep lines etched around his eyes. His hair is messy as if he"s been running his fingers through it more than once. And his graphic tee is crumpled and creased.

"How is she?" I ask.

Ash lets out a sigh and shoves his hands into his pockets. "She"s been awake on and off. Tia was brought in with a stab wound to her abdomen. The knife pierced the liver, and she had major surgery to repair the damage." He shifts from one foot to the other like he"s trying to keep his emotions in check. "She lost a lot of blood, and it was touch and go for a while," he explains, his voice cracking.

Tears spring to my eyes. "But she"s going to be okay, right?"

Ash nods. "The doctor said she"ll make a full recovery."

Paloma slowly stirs from her sleep, her eyes fluttering open. As she sees me, her features crumple, and tears well up in her eyes. Without hesitation, she rushes toward me and enfolds me in a hug, her body shaking.

"Ay dios mío," she sobs. "I"m so happy you"re safe."

I close my eyes and allow myself to be comforted by the familiarity of her affection. I missed it more than I realized.

When Paloma finally pulls away, she wipes her tears and takes a deep breath. "Our girl is going to be okay," she reassures me, her voice soft and gentle.

I nod, my own voice catching in my throat. "I know. She"s a fighter," I manage to say, wiping away the moisture from my cheeks.

There"s a brief silence when no one says a word until Donnie speaks up.

He stands up and crouches before me, positioning himself at eye level. "Ash and I are going to get something to eat. What would you like?" he asks.

I start to shake my head, but he cuts me off.

"What would you like?" he repeats, his tone firm yet gentle.

I can"t help but smile at his persistence. "I"m not hun—"

"Whatever you want, I"ll get it for you," he interrupts me again, his eyes fixed on mine.

I feel a warmth spread through me at his words.

God, I love this man.

"Okay," I say, nodding in agreement.

He leans in and kisses my lips softly, waking up the goosebumps on my skin. "I"ll be back," he mumbles against my lips.

I glance over my shoulder and watch him and Ash leave.

"He"s so good to you," Paloma says, bringing my attention to her.

"He is, and I don"t think he realizes how he affects me," I tell her.

He possesses the power to silence the war of emotions battling inside my head.Sometimes, I feel completely shattered, like nothing but a pile of broken pieces. But then Donnie, like an invisible force, sweeps in, gathers the fragments, and puts them back together until I"m whole. I never knew I could love someone like I love him. Nothing will ever break us apart.

Nothing.