Flashback

Ibury my head between my trembling legs, trying to catch my breath. Dad smacked Mom in the face because the rice was too salty. He picked up the plate and threw it against the kitchen wall and dumped the warm rice over Mom. He continued to slap her until she was no longer crying. What if she's dead? I shouldn't have run away, but Mom pushed me to get out of the way. I wish Josiah was here, but he's playing basketball at the park. It's up to me to check on Mom to make sure she's ok. I hear the front door slam. Dad must've left the house. Slowly slipping out of my bed, I tiptoe out of my room and down the narrow hallway. I walk into the kitchen, stepping around the broken glass scattered all over the kitchen tiles. Mom is laying on her stomach next to the stove. I bend down to check her pulse because she isn't moving.

"Mom," I whisper, knowing it is a stupid idea to be out in the open, but I have to make sure she is ok. "Mom. Please. "She lets out a small groan and slowly opens her eyes. Her eyes bulge out in worry when she sees me smoothing out her hair. "Mija. Please go back to your room," she says with a hoarse voice.

"No, Mom. I can't take this anymore." Quiet sobs escape me.

"Mija. Por favor, mi amor."

Suddenly, Dad violently yanks me away by my arm. I didn't even hear the front door. He's yelling and saying vicious things to me as he drags me down the hall into the closet. Mom cries out for him to leave me alone. But he doesn't hear her—he never hears her pleas. He throws me into the dark closet and locks it from the outside. There's no light in the closet because Dad removed it to punish me, knowing I'm afraid of the dark. Mom cries out in agony. What is he doing to her? Please don't take my mom away from me. Please stop Dad. Please.

"Please stop!" I cry out, banging my small fists on the door. "Please. Don't leave me in here. Please. Please. I can't breathe." Gasping for air, I crumble. I shut my eyes and slide down to the floor, holding my knees to my chest as I rock back and forth trying to slow down my heart rate. I'm trapped in a small box with nowhere to go. It's complete darkness without air to breathe.

Hope is lost.

Silence fills the air for what seems like hours or days. I don't know how long I've been in here.

I wonder if he killed Mom. I haven't heard her cries. And Josiah? Where is Josiah? I hope he's safe. I hope he knows how much I love him. I want Doni. He will keep me safe. I have no energy left in me to fight. My father hates me. My father no longer wants me to exist. I decide to accept my fate. I lay on my side holding my knees to my chest, closing my eyes, and letting the darkness consume me. It's going to be ok now. I'll finally be safe and free of pain.

"Breathe, Sis. Breathe," Josiah says in a coaxing tone. He rubs his hands up and down my back in a soothing motion. "It's going to be ok, Sade. I'm here now.