5. Javier

My heart pounds with anticipation as I walk through the hospital's halls. I worry about how Jo is going to react when he sees me. Will he kick me out and tell me to fuck off? Will he blame me for not doing a better job of keeping him safe?

As I finally make my way to his room, my body tenses and my palms sweat as I stand before his door. I"m an FBI agent, for fuck's sake, but I can"t help but feel a sense of nervousness. I try to shake it off, reminding myself that I put murderers and predators behind bars every day, but it doesn"t help. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves, and my hand trembles slightly as I lift it to tap on the door. The sound echoes through the hallway, and I anxiously await a response.

"Come in," a woman's voice says from behind the door.

Upon entering the room, I see that the TV is on, and I notice Jo sitting up with his mother, Claudia, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him. It"s clear that their bond is strong, and I feel hesitant to intrude on their moment.

Claudia, with a look of surprise on her face, shoots up from her position, "Hola, Javier. How are you doing?" she says with a smile.

I return her smile. "I"m doing okay."

Jo nods in my direction. "Congratulations, man."

"Thanks," I say, feeling proud. The nervousness that seemed to have taken over my body moments ago has vanished.

Claudia seems excited to hear the news. "What's her name?" she asks, her smile growing wider.

"Her name is Abigail—Abi for short. She weighs five pounds and eight ounces and looks like her mom."

"Congratulations, mijo. How is Gabby doing?"

"She"s doing well," I reply, my smile reflecting my happiness.

Claudia"s tone is warm and friendly when she says, "That"s good to hear. Once she"s settled, I"d love to see her and meet your daughter."

Her words hint at uncertainty, as if she is unsure whether I want her to meet my daughter. I understand why. My mother had visited Sadie"s mom"s house when I was ten or eleven to tell her about the affair. I can tell that guilt has eaten away at Claudia over the years. She knew about me but kept it a secret from Jo and Sadie. I don't want her to think I've held it against her because she did the right thing. However, I don"t believe anyone has told her so.

"We would love that," I say, trying to ease her doubts.

"Okay, great." Claudia beams and turns to Jo, enfolding him in a tight embrace and planting a tender kiss on his forehead. "Te amo, mijo," she whispers.

"Love you too, Mom," Jo replies.

"I'm going to go home, but I'll be back later," Claudia says, her eyes sparkling with warmth and kindness. She stands with her cane and squeezes my arm as she passes by, her touch transmitting a sense of comfort and reassurance. After the door clicks shut, I take a deep breath and feel my heart rate slowing down. I make my way to the chair next to Jo.

"Can I sit?" I ask.

Jo nods.

"How are you feeling?" I inquire as I take a seat beside him.

Jo shrugs. "I'm alive." He chuckles softly. We sit silently for a moment, watching Chicago PD on the TV until Jo breaks the stillness. "Javi, I want to thank you for looking out for my family," he says, his voice thick with emotion.

As I look at Jo, I can see the appreciation and sincerity in his eyes, which puts my nerves at ease. "You don't need to thank me," I reply, my voice carrying a similar tone. "Familia is familia. You never turn your back on family." I pause for a moment before continuing. "I will always be there for you, Jo, no matter what."

Jo takes a deep breath. "I'm glad you found me when you did. I wish we could've met under better circumstances, but I'm glad you're part of the family." His voice trails off.

"Jo, I want to talk about what happened after you left the police station." Jo remains silent, his eyes fixed on the television screen. I take a deep breath, mustering the courage to finish the conversation. "Do you remember what happened?"

Jo nods. "Yeah, unfortunately, I do. I wish I could forget, but it will always be part of me."

"It"s my fault that you were taken. I promised to protect you, but I dropped the ball," I say, my guilt weighing heavily on me. "I failed you, my brother."

Jo raises his head to meet my gaze, and then he shakes it slowly from side to side. "It"s not your fault," he utters, his voice calm and reassuring. "They would have found another way to get to me. They could"ve gone after my family, a darkness I could have never returned from." He sighs deeply, his head falling back against the soft pillow.

The tension in my shoulders slowly melts away, and I let out a deep breath.

"I owe you my life," he declares.

"You don"t owe me anything. We take care of our own," I reply with conviction.

As I look into his eyes, I feel a deep sense of connection and an unbreakable bond. We understand each other on a level that goes beyond surface-level understanding. Without a doubt, whatever lies ahead, we will stand by each other, no matter what.

And now, I"m feeling apprehensive about asking the question that will most likely be difficult for him. Jo doesn't give two fucks about himself, but when it comes to those he loves, he will walk through fire for them. He focuses on other people"s problems rather than facing and confronting his own struggles.

Jo reminds me of a tiny fish lost in the ocean. The water currents are too strong to handle, causing him to swim aimlessly in various directions. He darts around erratically, trying to find a safe place, but the deeper he swims, the more he gets lost in the darkness. He"d rather take his chances being adrift in the vastness of the open sea than being caught in a net and dragged to the surface to confront his inner demons. Regardless, I need to know what actions I can take to help him find peace.

"Jo, I know you"ve been through a lot. Are you going to see someone?" I ask him, hoping to offer my support in any way I can.

Jo"s eyes narrow, his expression guarded. "Are you?" he asks, his tone laced with suspicion.

I lean back in my chair and flash him a good-natured grin. "Touché," I concede.

The tension between us eases, and we both let out a small chuckle.

"But yeah, I"m supposed to meet with the therapist tomorrow," he informs me.

I nod in understanding. "How"s Elisa?" I ask.

Jo lets out a deep sigh, his hand rubbing over his buzz cut. "I don't know," he replies.

The thought of what she must have endured must be too much for Jo. I can only imagine the depth of her pain and the strength she must summon to face each day. My hope is that she will be able to find solace and support to help her overcome the challenges.