7-Sadie

"Donovan, I need to speak with my daughter. Can you step out for a moment?" Mom asks Donnie once Javi leaves the room.

"Of course." Donnie, the gentleman he is, agrees and kisses my cheek. "I'll be outside if you need me," he says before walking out the door.

"How far along are you?"

I jerk to a standstill, not expecting to hear that from her.

How does she know?

"Um." I clear my throat and rub my hands up and down my arms, not knowing what to do with them.

"Mija, I'm not upset." I glance at her and notice she is trying to hide her tears and suppress her smile.

"Come here." She pats the spot beside her.

I force my feet to move toward her. "I'm six weeks pregnant." I sit on the bed.

Mom's eyes widen, and her hand flies to her mouth. "Oh."

"Mom, I'm sorry." I wither away from her with guilt and run my hands through my messy curls.

Mom grabs my hand. "I am not upset; disappointed, yes. But I know you will be ok because you have been through so much," Mom says through tears. After a short pause, she continues. "You are so much stronger than you think. I want you to put yourself first and not get blinded by Donovan's plans for his future."

"What do you mean?"

"For the longest time, you have always put others before you. Now that Donovan is back in your life, I don't want you to lose sight of what's important to you. You deserve to be happy and live the life you want, not because you are forced to. To feel like you need to live it for someone else just because you're having his baby and wanting to do what's right."

"I'm not…." I look away. I can't help but know that part of me agrees with her. I'd follow Donnie to the ends of the earth and put my needs last if he meant he could reach his goals.

"It's ok, mija, to want to be happy for him and hope he fulfills his dreams, but you have your dreams to catch too."

There's a silent pause.

"What are your plans after high school?"

I look back at her apprehensively. "He's going to school in Illinois to be closer to the baby. And then he—"

"Stop."

I clamp my mouth shut.

"All I hear is he. I'm asking about your plans."

"I…I don't know," I say quietly. My head feels like it will split in half from fear of the unknown. I rub my temples, hoping I can massage the tension away.

"Dime lo que quieres de la vida."

I repeat her question to myself. What do I want to do with my life? I want to go to school for photography and open my own studio. I want to save enough to buy a home with a yard for my kids to play in, and I want a freaking dog. I want to be the best mom I can be for my children. I want to make Jo proud.

"You don't have to decide now," Mom says and interrupts my thoughts. "I just want you to think about what you want for a change. Whatever you decide, I will support your decision. I love you, mija."

I hug her, and she kisses my cheek.

"I love you too, Mom."