1-Sadie

BANG! BANG! BANG!

I cover my head with my hands as the reverberatingsound of the gunfire fills the room, forcing us to sink further into the floor to try to escape it. The discharging sound of the gunfire is overwhelming, as if a thousand fireworks are exploding at once.

I lay on my side, feeling a heavy weight on top of me.

"Are you ok?"

"Are you hurt?"

Carter and Javi's words are muffled through the sounds of screaming, glass shattering, and gunshots ringing in the distance.

"We got a 10-13 at Milwaukee Medical Center. Shots were fired by armed suspects!" Carter shouts through the radio.

"Sadie, are you ok?" Javi asks as he crawls over to me.

"I—I think so. Donnie?" I ask, trying to wiggle my way out of Donnie's arms.

"Donnie?" I ask again, ignoring the sudden wave of fear running through my veins.

No response.

No movement.

"Donnie!" I yell between heavy breaths.

With all my strength, I roll him off my body. Donnie lays on his back, eyes closed, blood dripping down his face.

Another round of shots is fired outside the room, one after another, followed by high-pitched screams.

"Sadie, stay down!" Javi yells.

"Oh, God!" I cry, shaking Donnie's still body, but he doesn't respond.

Why is there blood? Was he shot?

"Donnie, wake up!" I beg, clinging to him—my safe place—as my soul and sanity battle against one another.

"You can't leave me," I cry against his chest, trying to catch my breath.

"What the hell is going on?" Carter says with short breaths.

The rapid gunfire has ceased, but the screams from the hall make me cringe. It's like the Halloween party all over again.

"I don't know," Javi responds.

"We have to get out there." Carter rushes the words together.

"Are you crazy?" Javi's voice is full of anger. "We don't know how many suspects there are."

"Carter. This is Sargent Daniels. What is your position?" An authoritative voice echoes through the radio.

"Carter here. We're in the first-floor emergency waiting room. Two officers and two civilians. Other injuries and casualties outside this room are unknown."

"Good to hear your voice, Carter. Hang tight until we can get you out of there."

"Copy," Carter replies.

"Sadie, let me take a look at Donnie."

I raise my head from Donnie's chest at Javi's soft voice—so warm and comforting. Javi crawls his way to me.

"Can I take a look?" Javi asks.

I don't want to move away from Donnie, but I have to know that he's ok. I scoot back to make room for Javi. Javi gives me a warm smile and turns his attention to Donnie.

He lowers his head to his chest.

"He's breathing. It's faint, but he's alive."

I shut my eyes, and my body slumps, my muscles no longer tight with tension.

"He must've hit his head on the table"—he points to the table behind me— "which is why there's a gash on his head."

I nod and wipe my hand under my nose.

"He's going to be ok. I promise," Javi reassures me.

He has to be ok.

There isn't another option.

I just got him back.

He's going to college soon and will be seeing his dreams become reality.

A group of officers and paramedics burst into the room.

The paramedics have difficulty prying me away from Donnie. The gash on his head is superficial, but the impact against his skull worries me. The doctor doesn't seem concerned when he tells me, "Nothing a pain pill and rest won't cure."

After the nurse takes Donnie for a CAT scan, I call Ash, letting him know about Donnie. Javi said it is safe for them to come to the hospital as they have police officers posted at every entrance and exit. Even with all that, I am still on edge. My body is being pulled in all directions: to be with Donnie, my daughter, and my mother.

Abbey approaches me as I pull my phone out to call Abuela.

"Hey," the nurse says with a soft smile.

"Hey," I reply, putting my phone away.

"Do you want to see your mom?"

I look behind me, waiting for Donnie to reappear through the double doors, but nod when I look back to Abbey.

"He's going to be ok," Abbey assures me.

We step into the elevator in silence. Once the doors close, Abbey presses the button for the ICU. When the door opens, I notice the floor is swarming with police officers and men dressed in suits.

"They arrived right after the gunshots went off. Thankfully, three officers were already present, here waiting for one of their own," Abbey explains as we make our way through the madness until we reach Mom's room.

Three officers are stationed outside her room. When we are only a few feet away, two officers reach for their holsters while the third stands before Mom's door, blocking my view inside.

"Your credentials," the officer with short black hair and a scar over his eye demands.

Abbey complies by flashing her badge. He nods in approval and moves aside to let us through.

When we walk into the room, a nurse with long blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail stands over the bed. My breath catches when she tosses her stethoscope around her neck and moves to the side to check one of the machines.

There she is.

At one point, I thought I would never see her smile again.

Mom sits upright in the bed with wide eyes filling with tears as she takes me in.

"?Mija?" she slurs in a whisper as if she can't believe I'm real.

The nurse looks at me with a bright smile and says, "She's been asking for you." That's a good sign that her memory is still intact.

I move closer to her bed, watching Mom struggle to lift her arms. She grunts in frustration, but once I wrap my arms around her, the frustration disappears, and she relaxes against me, crying against my shoulder.

"I thought he went after you," she mumbles, "but then I heard your voice." When I pull away from her, my heart sinks to my stomach.

Oh, God. If she heard my voice, does she know Jo is gone?

"?Mija, esta bien?" Mom's face crumples with worry.

I nod, wiping my tears away. "Yeah, Mom," I say, trying to hide the anguish in my tone. "I'm just happy to see you awake."

Mom smiles, and suddenly, her face contorts in confusion. "What happened to me, mija? The doctor says I've been in a coma for two months. Why can't I remember anything?"

I blink several times.

She doesn't remember.

"Wh-what's the last thing you remember?" I ask, my stomach feeling upset.

Mom slightly shakes her head as if trying to eliminate the thought swimming in her mind. "I—I don't remember." Mom's frightened eyes look up at me. "Why can't I remember?"

"Claudia, it's one of the symptoms after waking up from a coma," Abbey says softly as she stands beside me. "Memories will return after a few weeks, days, or months. Every patient is different."

Mom's eyes dart frantically between me and Abbey.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I ask quietly.

"Something's wrong." Her lips begin to tremble.

"Are you in pain?" Abbey asks with concern. Because of our bond with Abbey and special circumstances to our case, the hospital and the FBI gave clearance for her to be the only nurse to care for our needs.

"Yes, but—" Mom responds but doesn't finish. The heart monitor beside her starts to beep rapidly as if the machine is about to blow up. Mom's chest rises and falls, and she struggles to breathe, as if she's being suffocated.

Abbey moves past me and starts calming Mom with her soothing voice.

Mom whips in my direction, face full of torment—pain I've never seen before and with an expression I will never forget.

When she speaks, the time spent managing my grief breaks down the wall I built to keep my heart safe.

"Where's my boy?" she cries, pleading with me with her eyes, begging me to tell her he's ok.

Tears run down my face, giving her my answer without saying the words.

He's gone.

"NO!" Mom screams, but it comes out as a broken whisper.

"I need some help in here!" Abbey yells for the other nurses while trying to hold Mom down.

"Sadie, I need you to wait outside," Abbey says as she pants, trying to maintain her hold on Mom.

The nurses charge into the room and inject clear liquid into Mom's IV, which eventually tires her as she cries. She closes her eyes, tears trailing down her face.

I've heard Mom cry several times over the years.

Regret whenever Dad beat her.

Anger when she saw me in the hospital bed near death after Christian's attack.

And guilt after Jo was arrested.

But at this moment, the pure agony in Mom's cries is a mix of regret, anger, and guilt, turning into a massive ball of grief. Over time, the ball was aimed to eliminate all emotions by hitting its primary target—Dad. Instead, Mom, Jo, and I took the hits repeatedly, leaving the wall behind us untouched. But now that Jo is gone, the ball knocked down the wall we built for years. It felt like living in a nonstop game of dodgeball.

"Sadie?" I look over my shoulder to see Javi standing in the doorway with a concerned expression.

I respond by walking into his arms, seeking warmth and comfort. Burying my head in his chest, I cry. He holds onto me, whispering that everything will be ok.

If only I could believe him.