Chapter thirty

Tia has been helping me pack up the house. After the doctor informed us that Mom was not likely to make it, a notice in the mail made its presence known, stating the mortgage was several months behind, not to mention my hospital bills. I don't have enough funds to pay one month's worth, let alone pay it off.

Which is why Donnie and Ash's parents suggested I meet with their family lawyer to discuss my options, since I refused to take their money. They recommended putting the house up for sale since Sophie and I have been living with Abuela. If Mom doesn't recover, I will have the money for her funeral and other expenses she left behind.

Reality starts to sink in, knowing that I will lose another family member and be alone. Sure, I have Abuela, but her health is declining. Sooner or later, she will leave me too.

Standing in the kitchen, I'm halfway through drinking my bottle of cranberry juice, still in shock from what I've discovered earlier, when someone bangs on the front door, scaring me. I wait, hoping whoever is behind the door will leave, but the banging continues.

"Shorty! Open the door."

"What the hell?" I breathe, trying to calm my racing heart.

"Dammit, Shorty. Open the door," Donnie continues to shout through the door.

I know why he is here, and I fear he will bust through the door if I don't open it. With trembling hands, I swallow a massive gulp of fear and approach the door at a snail's pace.

Unlocking the door, I swing it open. Before I can process what is happening, Donnie bursts into my childhood home like an angry bull, ready to charge its horns into my heart. He slams the door shut with his foot and crowds my space.

His nostrils flare, eyes wild, filled with betrayal, and hurt ghosts his face.

I gently touch his chest, trying to push him back. "Donnie, I—"

"No. You've done enough talking. It's my turn," he growls.

The fear I swallowed is making its way up my throat. And it's not that I'm afraid of him because I know he will never hurt me, but the fear that hurting him will revert him to his old ways.

"I want to know about this agreement you and my father made."

Oh, shit.

"You are not leaving me, and you sure as hell don't get to keep my baby from me and rob me of every moment of my baby growing inside of you," he shoots back.

"Donnie, I need you to calm down." My voice is stern.

"Calm down?" he scoffs, walking past me toward the living room. He looks around, shock written all over his face, but it soon changes to disappointment when he looks at me.

"You never planned on telling me you were selling the house or weren't coming with me to Tennessee, were you?" The pain in his voice makes it evident that I hurt him. If only he knew I was doing this to protect him—to protect his future.

When I don't respond, he shakes his head. "Unbelievable. Does it make you happy knowing you're ripping out my heart?"

"Donnie." My shoulders slump, and sadness wreaks havoc on my soul. I reach out to him, but he takes a step back.

Tears of regret fill my eyes.

"Why are you trying to keep my kid from me?" His voice cracks at the end of his sentence.

"No, Donnie. It isn't like that, I swear," I plead for him to understand.

"No? Then tell me what it's supposed to be like." He stares at me with his deep blue eyes full of anguish. I wish I could take his pain away, but I can't risk him ruining his future.

I walk toward him, placing my hands on his hard chest. "You are not losing me, and you are not losing this baby." I grab his face in my hands. "I love you so much. I need you to focus on school and your career. And the only way you can do that is if I'm not with you."

"That doesn't make any sense, Shorty!" He runs his hand roughly through his hair as he paces the room.

He releases a hard exhale. "Shorty, I want you in my life." He walks toward me and holds my face tenderly, gliding the pad of his thumb across my cheek down to the curve of my jaw.

"Don't you get it? God dammit. You are not just in my life. You ARE my life, my everything. You keep me grounded. I won't survive again if you are not by my side."

I inhale, taking in his manly scent that drives me wild. I grab his wrists and pull his hands away from my face. "I love you, Donnie. I always have, and always will, but I…"

He steps away from me as if I lit a match and burned him. "Tell me what to do, and I'll do it, Shorty." He throws his hands in the air like he's defeated.

"What are you afraid of?" His voice is full of emotions. "Do you think I won't take care of you?"

"Are you serious?" I ask, shocked that even crossed his mind. I can only ever love him for eternity.

"What the hell else am I supposed to think?" He looks to the side and huffs out a cold, brittle laugh.

"You're supposed to trust me and believe that this decision is what's best for both of us. I still don't know what's going to happen with Mom. I need to be here for her and for Abuela. But that doesn't mean that you don't matter to me, or that I love you any less."

I grab his face once again, forcing him to look at me. "You are the love of my life. I am not going anywhere. We will talk daily. We will Facetime. I will send you pictures each month as my belly grows. We will make time for each other, I promise. Let me be the one to save you," I plead with him.

We stand face to face without speaking, each of us breathing heavily.

"Donnie, I'm sorry," I whisper, holding back tears. I want him to hold me, tell me everything will be ok, and that he understands why I have to let him go.

When he pulls away, I already miss his closeness, his touch.

"Yeah, me too. But I understand. I just fucking hate this." Donnie rests his hands on top his head as he returns to pacing the room.

"We should've used protection. I wasn't fucking thinking because I was thinking with my dick."

My heart sinks like the Titanic.

Every word out of his mouth is like a hurricane, ripping through me without mercy.

"This was a mistake."

The tears fall while he pulls the knife from my chest.

"I never meant for this to happen, Donnie. I didn't plan on getting pregnant," I sneer to hide my pain.

"What? No, baby, I'm not mad at you or blaming you. I just wish things were different, that's all. I just want you with me." He pulls me into his arms and rests his chin on my head.

"I fucking love you, and if you say we can make it work, then I trust you."

"Really?" I look up and see the truth behind his eyes.

"Yeah, baby. Really." His soft lips came down on mine. When I lean into him, wanting to feel his body, his warmth, he deepens the kiss, turning my legs to putty.

My hands move on their own underneath his hoodie. He groans in my mouth at the feel of my hands on his skin. The moment his lips part, my tongue glides into his mouth. The kiss becomes fierce and rough, like he's a man starved before walking me backward and pushing me against the wall.

He kisses me tenderly with both hands on each side of my head. The way his lips connect with mine feels like magic.

He pulls back to see my reaction.

"I missed all your firsts, but I'm preparing to be your last. Distance between us won't change that," he says with a serious expression.

"I know," I whisper.

"You and our baby will always be my priority. I will fight for you, even when you don't want me to. I will choose you and keep choosing you every day." Donnie leans in and places a small kiss on the corner of my mouth.

I move my hands to his face and caress his cheeks.

Our eyes lock.

My heart feels like it's flying, and the world seems to freeze in time when he presses his body against mine; I can feel how hard he is. I knot my fingers in his hair and melt against his body.

He pulls me a few inches from the wall and wraps his arms around my waist. He captures my lips, kissing me hard.

I get lost in the feel of his lips for what seems like forever until the sound of his phone ringing ruins the moment.

Donnie growls in frustration against my lips. He reaches for the phone from his back pocket when our bodies pull apart.

"Hello?" His eyes never break contact with mine.

Pause.

"Yeah, this is he."

Pause.

"Really? That's great. Thank you so much, sir." Donnie hangs up the phone and puts it back in his pocket.

"I have something to tell you." His bright blue eyes are serious, just like his tone.

"Oooo-kay." My heart pounds in my ears.

Donnie's eyes hold mine with a surprisingly intense connection.

"Donnie, what's going on?"

He cocks his head, and a slow grin breaks over his face. "What if I had the chance to go to a school closer to you?"

"I don't understand."

"Tennessee wasn't my only offer. Illinois wanted me too."

Pressure builds in my chest at his words. If he is saying what I think he's saying, I may either kill him for making a reckless decision that could impact his future, or I might run into his arms and kiss him senseless.

"I'm going to Illinois." He says it like it's as easy as breathing.

"Wh-why?" I swallow over the lump in my throat.

"What do you mean why?" Donnie is obviously excited, giving him a boyish quality.

I stand paralyzed in place as he takes a step toward me. He slips his fingers through my belt loops, tugging me closer. My hands press against his chest. My eyes drift closed as I lean into his warmth.

"Shorty, I want to be closer to you and our baby. Instead of being ten hours away, I'll be three to five hours away. It will be easier for me to get to you when you need me."

My eyes fly open.

This is what I was afraid of.

"Donnie, I don't want you do give up your dream, everything that you worked hard for…I can't let you do that." I try pulling away, but he holds me closer.

"You and our baby are my dream. You said I found you and saved you, but the truth is, you found me and saved me. I was in a dark place for a long time until you came back." He smiles down at me, brushing his thumb down my cheek.

"You were not only the candlelight leading me through the darkness, you were my bright star shining during my darkest nights." He looks at me with a yearning expression.

I can try to convince him to not give up his dream until I'm blue in the face. But it doesn't matter because nothing will stop him from striking out. Donnie has always put me first. Every ball that is thrown to knock us down, he catches, never letting it hit the ground. Even if the bases are loaded, Donnie will always find a way to come home—home to me.

"Shorty?" Donnie's soft voice pulls me back to the moment.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Donnie grabs my face, as if searching for any signs of doubt. But he won't find any.

I laugh, grabbing onto his wrists. "Yeah. I'll support your decision whatever you decide. I love you."

"I fucking love you." Our lips collide in a desperate kiss. All I hear is the pounding of my heart and our shallow breaths.

"I love you," he says between kisses.

Soon it becomes harder to kiss because he is smiling like an idiot just like I am.

Then my phone vibrates, and I groan in annoyance.

Donnie chuckles and places a kiss on my forehead and pulls away. My body cries out in frustration.

I pull my phone out and answer. "Hello?"

"Sadie, this is Nurse Abbey."

My heart races like a runaway train, going faster and faster.

"Ye-yes?"

"What's wrong?" Donnie mouths, concern etched on his face.

"Sadie, your mom is awake."