Chapter twenty-three

Iwant this day to be over already.

It's my thirteenth birthday, and I have a black and blue bruise over my eye. Dad came home drunk last night and started to act like an ass, as usual. Sadie was in the kitchen getting something to drink and dropped the glass on the floor. I intervened when Dad raised his hand to slap her, but he hit me instead. Do I regret it? Nope. I will always protect Sadie, even if it kills me.

Thankfully, Dad left and hasn't come back—yet.

The bruise isn't why I want this day to be over—it's my birthday celebration. Mom usually goes all out, but this year, I didn't want a party, a cake, or a present. All I wanted was to spend time with my sister.

But as usual, Mom never listens. It was payday and Mom said she would take me and Sadie to eat at Francisco's Pizza.

Now, pizza I can get down with.

"Jo!" Sadie shouts from outside my bedroom door.

Sighing, I pull off my covers and swing my legs over the bed. Right when I stand up to stretch, my door swings open.

"Happy Birthday, Jo!" Sadie singsongs wearing a ridiculous grin that always makes me smile, and her curly mop of hair is sticking up all over the place.

"Thanks, Sade." I walk to the middle of the room when she runs into my arms, almost knocking me backward.

"I have a present for you," she says when I set her down.

"You do?"

She nods excitedly.

"Well, where is said present?"

"It's not sad." She sticks out her lower lip.

"Not sad, s-a-i-d." I laugh.

"Jo, that doesn't make sense." She scrunches her little face.

We could do this all day.

"So, what'd you get me, little sis?"

"You have to sit down." She grabs my hands and tries to push me back onto the bed, even though her strength doesn't match mine.

"Okay, I'm ready." I sit on the bed and watch her leave the room. A few seconds later, she hops back into the room with her arms around her back.

"You have to close your eyes," she says.

I do as she says, but open one of them a few seconds later.

"Jo! Close your eyes." She stomps.

This is too much fun. I love getting her riled up.

"Ok, they're closed."

Two seconds later…

"Jo! Stop it, or you won't get your present," my little sister scolds.

"All right, all right. I promise for real this time." I chuckle.

Four seconds later…

I keep my promise.

I hear a fluttering sound and Sadie mumbling under her breath. Not soon after, the package is placed in my hand.

"Can I open it now?" I ask her.

"Yep!" Sadie giggles in anticipation while I unwrap the gift.

All the blood drains from my face when I see what is under the cartoon newspaper. Removing the remaining paper and tossing it on the floor, I pull out the picture frame made from popsicle sticks and covered with red apple stickers.

The photo was taken when we were at the apple orchard. It is one of our best memories—a memory we hold on to as a reminder that things were once good and we were happy, even if it was for a little while. This is a moment I never want to forget. In the photo, Shorty and I stand underneath the apple tree, our little arms filled with apples. But that's not what got me all choked up. It is the smile on our faces.

"Jo, why are you crying?"

I blink and feel wetness slide down my face. When I look up at her, my gaze lingers on the bruise on her cheek, a cut on her lip, and bruises on both forearms from when Dad grabbed her last night. Despite all that, she woke up this morning with a smile brighter than the sun.

She is so tiny.

So innocent.

"I'm just happy you're my little sister." My voice cracks.

Sadie wraps her little arms around me and sniffles. "I'm happy you're my big brother. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you cry," she mumbles against my chest.

"You didn't."

She pulls away to look at my face.

"I'm really happy, and I love my present. Thank you." I pull her back in for a hug and tighten my hold, not wanting to let go.

Suddenly, I'm sobbing into Sadie's shoulder. I hear her sniffling, and her body starts to tremble.

The events from last night finally hit us like a tsunami; the waves crash against the shore, washing away our pain and heartache.

"I love you, Jo," she whispers.

"I love you too, Sade."

PRESENT—SADIE

There was a time I looked forward to this day. But now, I fucking hate it because Jo is not here to celebrate his birthday, and Mom is in a freaking coma.

After Jo's birthday, we stopped celebrating. It was his choice, and I respected it. The only thing we did was go out for pizza at Francisco's, one of our favorite places to eat. That year was the start of our annual tradition.

"Hi, Mom."

"It's Jo's birthday today. He would've been twenty-three years old."

Tears burn my eyes as I hold on to Mom's hand. Losing Jo is like a fever, burning inside me and consuming my every thought.

"Oh, God, Mom. Jo's gone." I cry, holding back a sob I knew would come.

For years Jo battled with his bipolar disorder, our dad's abuse, and depression, and found comfort in drugs and alcohol. He fought as hard as he could for himself and his family.

But eventually, the darkness that imprisoned his mind was set free. Jo felt he had no other way but to take his life.

Not once did he ask for help.

Not when he was angry.

Not when he was sad and lonely.

I will regret it for the rest of my life, knowing I couldn't save him.

I hate myself for not seeing the signs and not getting him the help he needed.

For so long, the voices in Jo's head were too loud for him to tune out. Even through all that, he always cared for those he loved until it all came crashing down, burying him underneath the rubble.

"Mom, I'm sorry. I couldn't save Jo." My body started shaking, and tears gushed down my face.

The heartbreak feels like I was being torn in two, my life suddenly thrown into chaos.

My brother, my hero, is gone, and he's never coming back.

After my breakdown at the hospital, I return to the Du Pont's home and stay locked in the guest room with Sophia.

Jacquie and Charles are worried, but I just want to be left alone.

Ash and Donnie are at practice and won't be home until after six this evening. Donnie sent me a few text messages to check-in.

While working on my homework, there is a knock at the door. Before I got up to answer it, the door opens.

Donnie appears in the doorway, still in his uniform. I didn't hear him come home.

"Hey." His voice is soft.

"Hey." I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist, breathing him in.

A mix of grass, dirt, and citrus.

This is what I needed.

Donnie.

My home.

"What's wrong?" Donnie whispers, kissing my hair.

"I missed you."

Donnie gently untangles me from his warm body. "Baby, what is it?"

"Today, it's just—" The words are caught in my throat. I am afraid I'll break down again if I say it out loud.

Donnie seizes my chin with his thumb, forcing me to look into his bright blue eyes. "It's okay. You don't have to talk about it right now."

My shoulders relax; I appreciate Donnie not pushing me.

"Did you eat?" he asks softly.

"No, I wasn't hungry." At the same time, my tummy rumbles.

Traitor.

Donnie grins. "I'm going to shower, and we'll get something to eat. Okay?"

I nod and smile, watching him walk away.

About twenty minutes later, Donnie reappears in a short-sleeved, army green Henley and jeans with a pair of Vans.

"Let's go," Donnie says from the door.

"Go where?"

"We're going to get something to eat."

"Ok, but I can't leave Sophie," I say as I watch my little girl sleep soundly in her crib.

"It's ok. Mom said she'll look after her."

Forty-five minutes later, we're in his car, driving down a familiar road. He pulls up into the driveway of his family's cabin.

"What are we doing here?" I ask Donnie.

"We're staying here for the night." He says it like it's an everyday thing.

"What do you mean, we're staying the night?"

He glances at me with a crooked grin. "Get out of the car, Shorty."

"What—"

Donnie climbs out of the car and shuts the door behind him.

What the hell is happening?

I watch him go around the car and pull out two suitcases from the trunk and wheel them to my side of the vehicle. Donnie opens the door and holds his hand out for me to take.

He chuckles. "Shorty, it's okay. Would you please get out of the car? I'm starving."

I take his hand and exit the vehicle. He shuts the door and makes his way toward the cabin.

Once I catch up to his long strides, he opens the door and gestures for me to go in first.

When he closes the door behind him, he sets the suitcases at the end of the stairs.

"Donnie, why are we here?" I ask for the hundredth time.

"Go upstairs and take a bath," he replies. His eyes meet mine, and we share a smile. After a short pause, he adds with a sly smile, "I'm going to make us something to eat. And then we'll do whatever you want."

"I don't have any of my clothes, or—"

"Babe." He steps closer and cradles my face, staring down at me. "I already had a bag packed for you. My mom is looking after Sophie." He softly kisses my lips and walks toward the kitchen.

What. The. Hell.

After my bath, I dress and meet Donnie downstairs in the kitchen. I never thought watching a guy cooking would be so sexy.

I could stare at his ass all day. I mean, what high school kid looks like that?

Donnie clears his throat, ripping my eyes away from his ass.

"You okay, babe?" His face breaks out in a huge, beaming smile.

"When did you have time to pack a bag?" I ignore his question and the tingling sensation between my legs.

His gaze softens. "When you were at the hospital."

"Oh."

"I made a bag for you in case—"

"I know. Thank you."

After we eat the best spaghetti I've ever had, we clean up and watch a movie. I must've fallen asleep because the film is still playing when I come to.

I sit up and stretch, letting out a yawn.

"Donnie?" I call out, glancing around the room. He is nowhere in sight.

Where the hell is he?

It started to sprinkle when we played the movie. But now, the drizzling rain has turned into a heavy downpour.

Wrapping the fluffy throw around me, I walk through the house but stop short when the lights go out.

No. This can't be happening.

"You gotta be freaking kidding me?" I mutter to myself since Donnie is nowhere in sight.

"Donnie?" I call out several times, but don't get a response.

"Ok, fuck this. I'm going to kick his ass when I see him." I slowly start to walk backward when a movement in the window on my right catches my eye. I scream like a banshee and trip on my own two feet, landing on my ass.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod." I roll over and crawl back to the couch where I left my phone.

I sigh in relief when I reach the couch and grab my phone. When I unlock my phone…

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

No bars.

Where the hell is Donnie?

Oh, God.

What if something happened to him?

How the hell are we supposed to call for help without service?

If he's still alive and I'm found dead, his ass—

"BOO!" Donnie roars from behind the couch.

"What the fuck!" I screech and scramble backward.

Donnie laughs uncontrollably and rolls over the couch until he lands on the cushions.

"What the hell, Donovan Jacob!" I yell, trying to calm my racing heart.

"What are you middle naming me for?" He continues to laugh.

"You're such a shit."

"Oh, come on. It was just a joke."

"You just wait until I get you back," I say firmly.

"Oh, yeah?" he teases with a smug smirk.

I ignore his sexy dimples.

"How fast can you run?" he asks mischievously.

"Wh—" Before I finish, Donnie launches himself off the couch and comes straight at me.

"Ahh!" I run up the stairs like my ass is on fire, but he's too quick. He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me before my foot hits the first step.

"Oh, my God! You're fucking crazy!" I laugh hysterically, trying to catch my breath.

"Time for bed." Donnie lifts me over his shoulder and takes the stairs two steps at a time.

"Donnie, God damnit, put me down!"

"No." He smacks my ass.

"Did you—did you just smack my butt?" I ask in disbelief.

"Yep." He gives my butt one more smack.

"What the hell?" I grab Donnie's belt, trying to hold and then smack his tight ass.

Suddenly, I'm tossed on the bed, giving it a bounce.

We're both laughing, trying to catch our breath.

God, it feels so good to laugh.

"I love it when you laugh." His chest heaves as he stares down at me. Donnie steps closer and hovers over me, eyes glazed with desire.

"I want you," I blurt and rub my fingertips against his lips, and he shudders.

"Are you sure?" He sucks on my fingertips, causing me to giggle underneath him.

We both need this—the need to feel alive and free.

"Yeah," I whisper, wrapping my hands around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. He trails soft kisses on my neck and slides one of my tank top's straps down my shoulder, leaving behind soft kisses. He reaches for the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head, leaving me vulnerable and exposed with my breasts on display.

I tremble underneath him as he stares at my bare chest.

He grins with hot desire in his vibrant ocean eyes. He lowers his head and sucks my nipples, swirling his tongue around the tips.

"Oh god." I moan in pure lust, arching my back, wanting more.

He swallows my moans with a passionate kiss. His lips travel down my stomach until he reaches my navel. He looks up at me, waiting for me to give him permission to go further.

I nod and let out a shaky breath, covering my breasts with my hands. I feel way too exposed. He pulls my hands away. "Please don't hide from me. Let me show you how beautiful you are." He kisses each scar on my chest and stomach.

God.

His words and how his lips feel on my body spurs me on, causing the wetness between my legs to overload. He hooks his fingers into the waistband of my bottoms and panties. He removes his boxers, and my eyes widen as I lick my lips, admiring his six-pack and the rest of him. He bends down and kisses my inner thighs while settling between my legs.

There's a conflicted gaze in his eyes as he roams over me. "How long?"

"A while," I whisper out in a ragged breath.

"Are you sure you still want this?"

"Yes." The word falls from my lips without hesitation. The apprehension on his face tells me he needs more assurance.

"I want this. I want you. I love you, Donnie."

His face softens, and he leans down and kisses me softly on my lips. "I love you," he whispers and slowly travels south.

"It's okay, we can go slow. We have all night," he adds.

Donnie slides his hand down between my legs and gently inserts one finger inside me.

"Oh, shit," I whisper, shutting my eyes as my body explodes in pure ecstasy. After I adapt to his finger, he adds another. My core tingles. Feeling impatient with the need to have him inside me, I reach down and grab his long and thick cock, giving it a few strokes.

"Donnie, I need you inside me now."

He pushes my hand aside and lines himself up with my entrance. He slowly enters me, pain exploding in a delicious way. Donnie stops, closes his eyes, and breathes.

Never have I felt more loved, more at home, more connected than I do right now with Donnie deep inside me.

"Do you want me to stop?" He stays still.

"No. Keep going."

"Am I hurting you?"

"It's okay. I want this."

Donnie moves his hips slowly and tenderly, like I'm a fragile doll about to break. Suddenly, the burning sensation is replaced by a warm, pleasurable feeling.

An unrestrained moan escapes my lips as I arch my back, begging for more.

"Fuck. Fuck," he strangles out as he moves faster until my back ascends off the bed. His face is a mix of pain and arousal, as if he's ready to combust. He closes his eyes and buries his face in my neck, thrusting in and out in slow motions. The aching between my legs throbs but feels so good that I want to cry out with joy. I never want this feeling to end. I can't believe I'm finally giving myself to my best friend. My first love.

He slams himself into me repeatedly with deep thrusts, and I release an orgasm like I have never experienced before. He silences my screams with his mouth. Donnie holds himself up with one hand against the headboard and the other on my hip, giving himself more leverage as he buries himself to the hilt inside me. I clench myself around him, and his whole body shakes as he climaxes. With his face in my neck, he continues to move inside me, emptying himself into me.

He collapses on top of me, drenched in sweat, and places a kiss on each of my breasts. He then begins to nibble my earlobe and neck, and his mouth lands on my lips, turning into a full-blown kiss.

DONOVAN

After pumping into her one last time, I slowly ease myself out of her and roll off the bed.

"God damn, woman." My breathing is rapid.

She laughs while trying to catch her breath.

Without saying a word, I roll off the bed and gently pick her up and carry her into the bathroom.

"Would you stop doing that?" She tries to wiggle out of my arms.

"Stop doing what?"

"Carrying me like I'm a freaking baby."

"But you are my baby." I grin and kiss her lips.

I sit her on the edge of the tub as I fill it with warm water. Once the tub is close to overflowing, I place her in the tub and climb in to join her. I sit behind her with her between my legs, watching the soap suds drip from her soft skin.

"Are you sore?" I kiss her neck, waiting for her to respond.

"Yeah, but it's not so bad." She leans against my chest as she plays with the bubbles that cover her luscious breasts.

"The warm water will help," I reassure her, wrapping my arms around her.

Jesus. I made love to my Shorty.

My best friend.

The girl that stole my fucking heart from my chest. Being inside her felt so good. My balls ached watching her come down from her high after releasing her orgasm.

God. She felt so fucking good. So tight, warm, and wet. I've had sex multiple times but making love to Shorty was like being high on ecstasy. The overwhelming feeling of being inside her not only thrilled me, knowing I was the second guy who has seen her naked and vulnerable, but I was also emotionally connected with her—relishing her body.

Shorty was all mine.

She showed no signs of being afraid, but me? I was fucking terrified of breaking her.

I twist Shorty's body so she's facing me with her legs on either side of me. I grab the washcloth and gently wash between her legs. Her head falls back as she releases a husky moan. Not able to help myself, I push her closer to me until my already hard dick brushes against her core. She wraps her hands around my neck, begging me with her eyes to take her once again.

"Baby. As much as I want to go for round two, you need to rest because you need to be ready for when I fuck you harder next time."

"Hmm. I can't wait." With my hands on her waist, I kiss her with passion. My hands begin to roam her body and she reciprocates, moving her wet, soft hands down my back.

"Okay," I say with a laugh, "we have to stop."

"Fine." Shorty pouts.

After we get out and dry ourselves, I dress her by pushing my T-shirt over her head, but not before she smacks my hand away. We climb into bed and I lay on my side with her facing me. With my hand on her hip trying to push her closer, she rubs her finger over my tattoo.

"It's beautiful. I've been wanting to ask you about this. Who's the girl?" The moment her eyes meet my face, I suck in a breath. She's got this after-sex glow, almost like she's…content.

"Donnie?"

Oh, yeah, she asked a question.

I clear my throat. "It's you."

Her eyes widen.

The corners of my mouth turn up at her reaction. Fucking adorable.

"What do you mean it's me?" Shorty leans over to inspect the tattoo closer.

God, she smells good. She's intoxicating. I could easily get drunk off her scent alone.

I grab her closest leg to drape it over my stomach and tuck my arm underneath my head, staring down at her. My fingers gently run up and down her hip, goosebumps forming on her body.

The tattoo is of a girl etched in black ink and wrapped in roses. The eyes are the only part of the design that is in color—dark chocolate brown with stars, giving it a dazzling effect. It was what I thought she would look like as a teenager.

"I got it when I was a freshman in high school. It was another way of keeping you close."

Shorty rubs her hands up and down my chest, sending shivers down my spine. I move my hand from her hip and stroke her face with the back of my hand.

Shorty turns her back toward me. I wrap her in a tight hug with my arms around her stomach and our legs interlocked.

"This doesn't change anything between us. You're mine. You have always been mine. I love you, Shorty," I whisper into her hair, tugging her closer to me.

"I love you too."