Chapter Five

"Estoy bien abuela. Estaré bien. Lo sé. Nos vemos pronto. Yo también te amo." I end the call with my grandma, wishing I was with her. I need her comfort. Grandma is the one who taught me to speak fluent Spanish; it is the only way to have a conversation with her since she doesn't speak English.

Sitting in my car waiting for the first bell to ring and trying to ease the uneasy feeling in the of my stomach, I contemplate if I should go in or skip. I see my friends standing outside of the front double doors waiting for me, like they always do. Tia and Telle look like they are in a heavy conversation while the guys are smoking pot in front of the school like it's a normal thing to do. Do I really want to face everyone?

Ishould've stayed home.

I miss Josiah.

If he knew what Dad did last night, it would break his heart. He'll be tortured with regret when he finds out, knowing he wasn"t able to keep me safe.

"Hey, girlie!" A tap to my window pulls me out of my painful thoughts. I roll it down as the cool fall breeze brushes softly against the bruises on my face.

"Hey, Tiny." I keep my voice calm without giving anything away.

"You've been sitting in here for a while. What's going on? You ok?"

I nod. "I"m good."

Liar.

She tilts her head and gives me a concerned look before she asks, "Are you sure? You don"t look ok." She pauses and stares at me for a while until her big sad doe-eyes widen. "Fuck. What happened?"

I roll up my window and step out of the car, throwing my backpack over my shoulder, wincing in pain.

I clear my throat. "Nothing."

"That is not nothing." Tiny angrily points at my neck where I know the bruises are.

"Leave it alone." I give Tiny a warning look to drop it.

What I would do to lay in a tub of ice water just to numb the soreness. Suddenly, Tiny's little frame blocks me from going forward.

"I don't fuckin' think so. You're going to tell me what the fuck happened to you," she says, crossing her arms over her chest.

I sigh. "Nothing, Tiny. Let it go." I try to move past her, but she blocks me again.

"Tiny. Move," I warn in a stern voice I've never used before, but she doesn't budge.

"Not until you tell me why you have thumbprints on your neck like someone used it for a squeeze toy. And don't get me started on the bruises on your face." Her lips press into a hard line.

Tia is the only one who knows what really goes on behind our closed doors, and that's only because she knows what it's like to live in that kind of environment.

"Tiny, I really don't want to have this conversation right now. What I really need you to do is let this go. I'm fine, really I am. But if you keep looking at me like you want to cry and rip someone's head off, I won't be able to handle it. So, please, I'm begging you to let this go," I plead, feeling tears building behind my eyes.

She wipes her own tears away and looks back to our group and then back to me.

"Who else knows?" Tiny asks.

Without giving her an answer, I quickly pull her into a hug before she makes a scene. "I promise I will tell you, but right now, I can't talk about this because I'm trying to hold it together. Please understand," I whisper in her ear, begging her to listen.

Tiny hugs me back and says, "Ok." She pulls back and gives me a small smile.

Tiny and I stay hidden behind my car until the bell rings. We walk side by side in silence but having her near me is comforting. Once we go through the front doors, the hallways are incredibly quiet without all the normal chatter and people scampering around the halls. Casually walking away from Tiny slower than usual, we say our goodbyes.

The bell rings. Great. I"m late…again.

I walk into English-Lit; Ms. J hasn"t started the class yet. She's speaking to one of the students near the board with her back toward the classroom. So, she shouldn't notice I'm late.

I take my seat and open my notebook, ready to take notes and shut the noises out of my head.

During chemistry, my stomach feels like an alien is ready to burst out and do its happy dance. I am so freaking hungry I could eat a horse, maybe two. As I make my way to the cafeteria, I spot my friends sitting by the window on the farthest left side of the room near the tray line. Sebastian raises his chin when he notices me. By the time I reach the line, nausea causes the muscles in my stomach to tighten like an octopus wrapping its

tentacles around its prey. Seems like the ibuprofen is wearing off. A small bowl of fresh fruit and a bottle of water are all that my stomach can handle today. Making my way to the table, Seb says, "Hey Reina. You alright?"

I glare at him.

He smirks.

I hate that nickname. The kids at this school thought it was fitting to call my boys Kings and I'm their Queen. Unfortunately, no one corrected them, so it stuck.

"I"m good." I try to ignore how his face looks ready to explode, he"s so pissed off.

"Sade. What the fuck?" he hisses.

"What?" Ignoring his question and the dangerous look on his beautiful face, I twist the cap off my water bottle, keeping my head down.

"What"s going on?" Gio asks as he takes a bite of his pepperoni pizza.

"Nothing is wrong," I whisper, taking a drink and allowing the cool liquid to run down my throat.

Fuck.It hurts to swallow.

The somber look on Gio's face lets me know he notices the marks on my face and neck. He drops his pizza on the plate and moves over one seat across from me, leans over, and speaks low enough so others can't hear. "Sadie, we're not fucking blind. What the hell happened?" His eyes glance over to Seb who has his fists clenched on the table.

The solemnness in his amber eyes is heartbreaking. Gio is a beautiful, kind soul, even though his body is covered with tattoos, giving him that bad boy vibe.

Swallowing a lump in my throat, I say, "I"m ok, I promise." I put on my best fake smile even though I know he"s not buying it. He stares at me for a long minute, then shakes his head in disappointment. Turning back to Seb, they share some sort of communication without speaking. Seb clasps and squeezes his hands together on the table, looking sideways until his eyes land on me.

I know what he's thinking.

I've seen that determined look before.

"Don't. Leave it alone," I warn him as I stab my fruit with my fork and shove it in my mouth with annoyance.

"Hey, girl." Telle gives me a half hug from behind. The pained expression on my face from her touch did not go unnoticed by Seb and Gio.

"Hey," I say in a small voice, wanting to run away from Gio and Seb's intense stares, the only two who notice last night's aftermath, besides Tiny who's giving me the saddest eyes as if it is going to be my last day on this earth.

I look over Gio's shoulder and notice his on and off again conquest whenever he needs to scratch an itch making her way to our table.

"Hey, baby."

Valencia Torres.

"Fuck off, Val. " Gio responds without looking at her.

"What?" Valencia asks with a look of shock on her face at being dismissed by one of the Kings in public.

"He said fuck. Off," Telle repeats with annoyance.

"I wasn't talking to you, bitch."

I close my eyes, wishing I could teleport out of this room.

"The fuck you say?" Telle snaps.

"You heard me," Valencia snaps back. "You deaf?" She taunts.

Is she seriously trying to dig her own grave?

"Nah, she's not deaf. She heard you loud and clear," Lupita says as she stands behind us along with Tiny.

"Mind your business."

She can't be serious.

"Is this bitch for real?" Tiny took the words right out of my head.

"Yeah, this bitch is for real, puta," Valencia hisses with contempt.

"That's enough!" Gio yells, pounding his fist on the table. I flinch. The whole room goes silent; you could hear a pin drop.

Gio's immediate reaction, he stands up and grabs Valencia by the throat, pulling her close to his face. "You got real cojones coming around here to talk to my girls like that. You got a death wish? Take your raunchy pussy away from me. And stay the hell away from us. ?Entiendes?"

Glancing around the room, I notice wide eyes staring at us with a mix of shock, horror and…amusement.

She gives him a quick nod as tears spill down her face.

Gio releases her and sits back down like nothing just happened. I stare in shock at Gio as he picks up his slice of pizza and takes a bite.

He winks.

He fucking winks.

"That bitch has a fucking death wish," Lupe says while taking a beside Seb.

"No shit." Telle takes a bite of her apple and squeezes between Tiny and me.

Everyone at the table goes back to their regular conversations as if nothing just happened, and I have to wonder what my friends are on something.

"What?" Gio asks incredulously with a mouth full of his lunch.

"What do you mean, what? You almost snapped her neck, and you go back to your pizza? What the hell?" I say, still in shock.

Gio shrugs. "At least I did something about it and didn't wait for Tiny to get the shit beaten out of her."

There"s an uneasy feeling of shame followed by extreme hopelessness. The uncomfortable pain in my stomach makes me even more nauseous than before.

"Seriously, motherfucker?" Seb snaps.

Lupe doesn't look at Gio. Her attention is solely focused on me. Her eyes bounce between my face to my neck. When realization sets in, she sucks in a breath.

"Sadie?" Lupe's voice is torn with sadness.

Gio's eyes are pained with regret at knowing he can't take back what he said. I know he didn't mean it the way it came out, but I can't say it doesn't still burn.

"Fuck. I didn't mean that, Sade." He drops the pizza on to his plate.

"I know."

Without thinking, I excuse myself from the table, dump my water bottle and fruit cup in the trash and rush out of the cafeteria without saying a word. I don't look back to see if anyone is following me. I don't stop. I keep running until I'm outside near the football field, leaning back on the side of the bleachers. I need time to revive my broken soul. I close my eyes and inhale the September air, allowing the golden globe in the sky to cover my skin like a warm blanket.

I feel him before I see him. The sound of leaves crunching underneath his boots gave him away.

"What's going on, Reina?" Seb's voice startles me.

I don't respond.

"I know you heard me." He stands in front of me and holds my gaze. "Talk to me." He pleads.

I close my eyes and tell him everything that has been going on since I was five years old. The beatings. The lies. I break down while Seb holds me. A

sense of relief surrenders my thoughts of despair into the darkness locked away behind the red door in my dreams. The door that holds back the pain, heartache, and my broken pieces from when my heart could no longer bear the weight of it all. All I wanted was to grow up to be loved and cared for. My family was supposed to be my safe place, my home, but it"s nothing but a nightmare—a nightmare I can"t seem to wake up from.