11. Emrie

Iwoke up suddenly, completely alert.

I also woke up to pitch black. The stars of the night sky even seemed to hold their light, because there was no ethereal glow coming from my window. I reached for my phone on my bedside table, but my hand found nothing.

Had someone borrowed my phone for something? It was gone, as were the water glass that I kept by my bed and my chapstick.

Something weird was going on, because no one in their right mind would steal my chapstick.

I gently got out of bed, and fumbled my way to the window to look out. I pulled the curtain gently back, doing it by feel alone, and gazed out my window. The stars were dim, and the moon, which had been full when I'd gone to bed, was nowhere to be seen. Before I could ponder that too much, I heard the cry of a cub behind me.

I whipped around, trying in vain to pierce the inky darkness of my room with my eyes. When that failed, again, I used my sense of smell to maneuver around the objects of my room safely until I came to an open door. The sound of a cub crying was coming from this room.

My bear was warning me of danger, and I agreed with her that we should be cautious. "This is so not good," I whispered to her. Something was wrong. Very wrong. But the cub was wailing piteously. I couldn't just leave it in the darkness. And the fact that no one was coming to check on the cub was very concerning as well. Also, why was there a cub in the room next to me? I'd thought that room had been locked and closed and empty. Roarke and Alpha Riggs had made sure of it. I was a little sad now that I hadn't insisted Roarke take the connecting room. Next time I'd insist.

Suddenly, the entire world seemed to go incredibly silent, and a chill seeped into my skin. My bear felt like she was clawing at my insides, frantic to shift and protect us, but I held her off. "I'm okay. We're okay." She calmed a little, but we still felt the sharp thump of fear and our heart was racing like a racehorse.

My skin was icy cold as fear began seeping into every one of my muscles. I was feeling more than physical darkness, there was an unsettling heeby jeeby darkness as well, and it was this darkness that was causing my bear and I to react. But this didn't matter. I needed to get the cub.

I made my way into the connecting room carefully—it was just as pitch dark as my room—and stumbled into a crib. I reached into the crib and cuddled the bear cub close to my chest, soothing it with soft words. It mewed and gasped, it's chest shuddering from it's tears. "There, there, little one, It's okay. We're okay. Were's your mama and daddy? Why are you in here by yourself?"

It was possible a family had come in the night, after I'd gone to bed, and they'd been assigned the room next to me, but if so, where were they?

"I think we'd better find them for you, little one."

The bear cub sniffled, and nuzzled into my chest. I grabbed a blanket from the crib, and wrapped the cub before settling it into my arms in a firm grip. "Okay, here we go."

We made our way to the door, and out into the hallway. I needed to check on Roarke. It was concerning he hadn't heard the cub crying. I knocked on his door, finding it by feel alone, but didn't hear any rustling from inside. There was no sound of movement, in fact, in all of the lodge.

"Roarke?" I called, opening the door a crack and peeking in. But there was no one there. His stuff was there, but no one was in the room.

"Maybe he went to get something to eat or drink, little cub. Let's go check the kitchen."

But the kitchen was empty.

"Okay, well, let's go find Alpha Riggs. Maybe he's still out by the fire."

But the fire was bedded down for the night, the coals only very dim embers, and no one was in the chairs surrounding it. The night air was so cold it pierced me through to my center, and I shivered, wrapping the cub tighter in the blanket, and snuggling them closer to my body heat. The cold seemed different tonight. More painful, like little flecks of glass embedded in my skin.

"No one out here. Let's check his suite upstairs." The cub mewled and cooed at me and I kissed its downy, furry head. Bear shifter cubs could first change around six months. If I had to guess, I'd guess this one that I held in my arms was about that age. Maybe it had made its first change, and that had scared it into wakefullness? It was as good a guess as any.

I carefully made my way up the stairs to the second floor, using touch and sound to guide me. All I could think was that it was a good thing I was a bear shifter. The sound of silence was so strong in the house, it was almost like magic. I doubted a human would even hear their feet pattering on the hardwood floors.

I talked to break the silence which was heavy like a shroud, and it also seemed to comfort the cub, so I spoke lightly, working to keep my worry and fear from my voice. "Alpha Riggs likes this room in the corner. For one, it's the biggest room. Since he's the biggest guy, other than Roarke, it makes sense, but it also has the view he likes of the forest and mountains in the distance, and the roomiest en-suite bathroom.

"I know this is hard to believe, but my alpha enjoys a good bubble bath. He tells the others it's because they stress him out and he needs them, but I just think he enjoys a good bath. I don't know if the bathtub in his bathroom actually counts as a bathtub, though. It's more the size of a hot tub. He's also got a fireplace in there. Can you believe it? I know he sounds spoiled, but he's actually really not. He's really gentle, but strong, you know, and powerful. Whoever is his mate will be one lucky supernatural. He'd do anything for his mate and child, probably spoil them like crazy."

The cub cooed at me and patted my face with a furry paw. The fur was downy and soft.

I came to Alpha Riggs' bedroom door and knocked. When no one came, I knocked harder. "Alpha Riggs, are you in there?"

"Oh, little cub, I do not want to open that door. But I need to check on him. Here's hoping he doesn't blast me with his alpha power in his sleep."

I cracked the door open, and toed my way to the bed where I felt gently around. Nothing. The bed hadn't even been slept in.

Okay, now I was seriously starting to freak out.

Where was everyone?

Roarke

I wokeup around my usual time, 5:30 am, before the sun was even rising distantly in the east. I grabbed a quick shower and changed into my jeans and a black long sleeve tee shirt. I was going by Meum today, and I didn't want pasta sauce to stain this shirt like it had my last. It had only been a tiny speck, but it had driven me to distraction. So much so that I'd had to pull a clean shirt from my SUV and change. I figured with black, if I couldn't see it, maybe it wouldn't bother me as much.

I knew it wouldn't work, but I was trying. Emrie was so patient when it came to my mental struggles and my grouchiness. I was trying to be better. For her. I was having no success trying to tame my OCD, and limited success in being less grouchy.

I knew there were a lot of humans in the world, and even some paranormals, that would scoff at me, and tell me in a relationship the other person had to accept you for who you were. And they would be right—to a point.

Emrie did accept me, right as I was this very moment, for who I am. And even if I didn't change a single thing, I knew that she would accept me for the rest of our lives and love me. But relationships, any good relationship at least, was all about work, compromise, support, and love. And that meant that those weaknesses I had, I had to work at them. To try to make them better. Didn't Emrie deserve the best me I could be?

You would think a seven hundred or so year old dragon shifter would have worked through some of the mental struggles I had, but things like the OCD had only gotten worse over the years. I was considering seeing the new apothecarist in town for some help, possibly even a counselor if that didn't work.

I mean, OCD wasn't really a weakness. It was more a diagnosable mental health condition. But my grouchiness was not. That was something I could work on. And the OCD was something I could check into, to see if there were things I could do to tame it a bit. Purely for me, because I drove myself crazy with it sometimes.

I shaved by burning the stubble from the root underneath my skin—dragon fire—and brushed my teeth. In the old days it wouldn't have been unusual to find a little bit of goat fur stuck in my teeth, but these days the world was civilized and I limited my meals to socially acceptable things like spaghetti and meatballs.

I left my room to grab a cappuccino from the cappuccino maker set up in the coffee bar in the kitchen. I added caramel cream to it and a dash of real sugar. I didn't like it so sweet that I was basically eating a pastry for breakfast, but I liked a little bit of sweetness.

Alpha Riggs came in for a refill, and nodded at me politely. I'd noticed in my time here in the lodge that the alpha was up early, like around four or so in the morning. He exercised for an hour or so, lifting weights and running, and then showered and had a coffee. Usually around the time I got up and found my way to the kitchen he was ready for a second cup.

I'd never expected to respect a bear shifter alpha the way I respected Riggs. He was a good man, and wiser beyond his limited one hundred and twenty five years. Bear shifters lived to about two hundred fifty for most healthy ones. By human standards, Riggs was barely entering his forties.

"Emrie up yet?"

I shook my head. "I haven't seen her yet this morning."

Riggs looked thoughtful. "She's usually up by now," he said, his gaze on the kitchen door, as though he was looking for her to walk in any moment.

"I'll check on her before I leave for Meum." I took a sip and sighed. Boiling hot, just like I liked it.

Riggs took a sip of his and his lips quirked at the corners. "You know, the Clan has been talking about raiding one of your restaurants one of these days."

I chuckled. "Let me know what day they pick. I'll have to shut down for the evening and have the chefs prep triple the amount of food they usually do for a full dining room."

Riggs' eyes brightened in silent laughter, and he nodded, taking another sip.

But after another few minutes, Riggs' question about Emrie was itching at me, like a scratch that I couldn't quite get to. Maybe she was just sleeping in today? She had been more tired than usual lately. The worry and stress, and also not sleeping as well because she was on the ground floor of the lodge, were all getting to her.

"I think I'll go check on Emrie," I said, putting my empty cup in the sink.

Riggs did the same. "Mind if I come with?"

I thought it was an odd request, but nodded anyway. By the time I made my way to her bedroom door, my senses were crawling and prickling, and my dragon was rumbling deep inside my chest.

"You okay there?" Riggs asked.

I shrugged, trying to work out the tenseness in my shoulders. "My dragon's on edge. Not sure why. I think he's picking up something my regular senses aren't."

"My bear is picking it up too. Sorry, normally I wouldn't intrude on Emrie, but, if you wouldn't mind?" He indicated the door with a head tilt.

I nodded and knocked on her door. "Emrie, mo chroì, are you awake?" I used my extra dragon senses to listen through her door, but all I could hear was light, steady breathing. The only other sound I could hear was the light crackling of a fire burning in the fireplace.

"Emrie?" I called, knocking harder.

Riggs' eyes looked troubled. "I think we'd better go in."

"Let me go in first, just in case..." All I needed was for Emrie to be sleeping in the buff and me allowing her alpha to walk in and see her. She'd never forgive me.

"Of course." He gestured me in, and I opened the door carefully. Maybe she was sick? That thought had me moving across her room swiftly as I knelt beside her bed.

"Emrie," I pushed the honey blonde locks away from her eyes, and tapped her cheeks lightly. "Mo chroì, are you okay?" After tapping for a few seconds, and then progressing to shaking her shoulders lightly and she still wasn't waking up, I started to panic.

"Riggs, she's not waking up!"

He was beside me in an instant. "Emrie!" he called, and he infused so much alpha power in that one word that the hair all over my body stood up like it was saluting a superior officer, and my body felt electrically charged as though my dragon was flying through a lighting storm. Dancing dragons this alpha was powerful!

But Emrie remained still, clutching a small pillow to her chest as though she were holding something precious. Her skin was clammy and cold, yet she was dewy with sweat.

I clutched her hand in mine, a strong foreboding overcoming me. "Wake up, love. I let Riggs into your room. Don't you want to say something snarky to me?"

Nothing. No movement except for the rapid movements behind her eyes. It looked as though she were dreaming, or having some kind of nightmare. She was mumbling occasionally in her sleep. I had to tune into my dragon hearing to hear what she was saying. When I did, I glared at the alpha near me. "Is there a reason my mate is going on and on about you liking bubble baths?"

Riggs grimaced. "My Clan knows I love my baths. And mate, I think we've got bigger problems right now."

I grumbled but turned back to my Emrie on the bed. When she shivered and her skin went colder, I toed off my shoes and climbed into the bed with her. Sitting against her plush, cushiony backboard, I gathered her to my chest, and tried to share my warmth with her. And as a dragon, I could certainly bring the heat.

"I'll call the apothecarist," Riggs said, stepping out of the room and pulling out his phone.

I could hear his conversation with Dice on the phone. Her sleepy voice, and her consent to come by the Clan lodge as soon as she could get dressed.

Emrie shivered in my arms, and my dragon ratcheted up the furnace in our body, sharing our heat gratefully for our mate. "Ahh, love. What have you gotten yourself into this time."

It was like she was in a coma.

I was trying hard not to bawl like a wain.

Riggs came back in and put a steadying hand on my shoulder. "She's on her way. I need to go down to assure she's let onto the Clan property without any problems."

I nodded, clutching Emrie to my chest. "Quickly," I choked.

He nodded and swiftly left. I could hear the front door open and close, and the sound of something with a lot of horsepower start up and rev to life. The vehicle quickly faded into the distance, and the last of my distractions was gone.

My heart, my soul, was unresponsive and wouldn't wake up. My insides quivered like jelly and my dragon roared in pain, yet physically I couldn't make a single sound. I felt frozen with fear and dread. Had I found her only to lose her this quickly?

Less than thirty minutes later,a still-sleepy Dice knocked on the door, letting herself in. Behind her, arrayed like spokes on a wheel, were the Clan members closest to Emrie: Riggs, Mateo, Akeno, Taco, Alastair, Mathan, Drew, and Zin. They gazed at Emrie with their hearts in their eyes, looking stricken, until Riggs gently pushed them back and shut the door, giving Emrie and I privacy.

Dice nodded at me, all business, and sat beside Emrie, reaching for her hand. And then the room descended into stillness once again as Dice read Emrie. She read her for so long that I started to get antsy and my dragon was growling and seething smoke inside my chest.

Calm down. She's just doing her job properly.

Dice finally opened her eyes, and I would swear in a human court of law that she'd come in with green eyes, but her eyes were now cinnamon-brown. Pixie magic. I shook my head to clear my unhelpful thoughts.

"What is it?" I asked.

"She's stuck in a dream state, I think. I'm not sure because I've never done a reading on someone in this state, but other than heightened levels of cortisol and adrenalin—which indicate she's in fight or flight mode—something or someone is dumping melatonin and magic into her body like there's a broken spigot set to full blast. I traced the melatonin and magic dump. It's not coming from her own body. It's coming from someone else, and I think they're trapping her in this dream state."

I looked at Riggs, and I knew we probably had similar expressions on our faces: fury and fear. It looked like the mysterious person who'd stolen her locket had finally struck again. We'd been prepared to keep her safe behind all of her Clan brothers and me, a dragon shifter. But what could we do with all of our power when the battle was being waged inside of her?

"Is there a safe way to wake her?" Riggs asked.

Dice looked troubled. "I have several things I can try. I need to head to my shop, though, first, to get some ingredients, and pick up a few things."

"I'll take her, Alpha," Taco said from outside in the hall. Clearly they were all listening in intently to the conversation happening in the room.

"You may as well let them in," I said with a sigh. I had to keep reminding myself that Emrie loved these guys like brothers. It helped me, but didn't really help the dragon inside of me. My dragon wanted to squash them like a bug. Actually, I was fully convinced that ninety percent of my grumpiness stemmed from my dragon. He was me, but also more than just me, and he was a big grouch. He and I blended into one when I became my dragon—our thoughts, feelings, etc.—but when I was a man, he had his own thoughts, opinions, and feelings. It was the same for all shifters.

Emrie loves them, I reminded him yet again.

His scoff almost made me laugh, until I looked down into Emrie's face and I was reminded once again that mo chroì was silent and still. I gently ran my fingers through the snarls in her long hair, and kissed her forehead.

Her Clan came in, looking somber. Most of them left after a few minutes—I heard Riggs and Mateo talking about the need to lock down the Clan property—but one person stayed.

Alastair.

I didn't know him as well as I knew some of the others, but I recognized a kindred spirit when I saw one. He was quiet and generally grumpy, but my dragon sensed pain deep within him. Old pain. Pain that Alastair seemed well-used to navigating. It was for this reason that I left him alone, and hadn't conversed with him much, or really made more of an effort like I had with the others Emrie was close to. I could see now that probably had been a mistake.

Just because someone was in pain didn't mean they wanted space all the time.

I think Emrie understood that about Alastair. I'd seen her treat him more gently and tenderly than the others, even going so far as to cover him with a blanket when he fell asleep in his recliner for the umpteenth time. He was forever typing and working on his laptop in that chair.

"Do you mind if I hold her other hand?" Alistair asked gruffly in a whispery voice.

I nodded. Alastair drew his chair closer and gently took Emrie's hand.

"I wanted to marry her one day, if she ever agreed to it," he said, and I sat up, surprised.

My dragon grumbled, but I was confused. "You don't smell like you're attracted to her."

He shook his head, a small smile on his face. "Oh, it's there, but it's really mellow. Emrie's beauty is more than just her appearance. It's everything inside of her as well."

"What about your mate?"

Alastair flicked angry eyes to me. "Don't do a Soul Gaze on me, dragon."

"You just said you wanted to marry my mate," I calmly reminded him. Meaning, of course I'm going to do a Soul Gaze on him. And he has a mate. He's met her and everything. Although...the mate bond is not intact. It's actually a gaping hole within him. I winced, retracting my inner eye from his soul.

That looked incredibly painful.

"You would have married Emrie with your mate out there somewhere?"

He nodded. "I tried to talk her into it a few times. It would have been a good marriage. A marriage of friendship and companionship." He shook his head. "But she would just kiss my cheek the few times I asked her, and say, ‘You and I deserve more.'"

"What happened to your mate?"

Alastair's lips quirked. "Does that work on others, that dragon power and presumptiveness?"

In other words, I wasn't getting an answer. I winced and thought maybe I didn't deserve an answer. It had been an incredibly nosey and pushy question.

Having my mate catatonic in my arms was destroying my heart and self control. I was behaving like a dragon half my age.

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely, and he nodded in acceptance of my apology.

"Emrie and I are close, maybe closer than she is with Mateo, although that would be tough to tell." His golden hazel eyes found mine. "I'm glad she found you."

"Me too," I said softly.