Chapter Nine

Jemma stepped into the clinic shortly after Jensen. She ignored him, instead heading over to look through the notes he had on the board. She’d helped enough times she knew to look over his posted schedules to see who needed to be checked on, who needed bandages changed, or meds given, or any of the things Jensen kept track of. The man was meticulous at documenting every little thing and thorough in the care of his patients. His morning rounds had obviously been made prior to the gathering on the steps of the main lodge.

“Thank you.”

She turned and found Jensen with his back still to her. He, like all the Holloways, was a man of strength and pride. The fact he’d let Walker get to him had to be weighing on him. Plus, the truths he’d let spill. He was a doctor, who struggled to keep as many of their species alive as he could. Though he had help and they had a medical team, Jensen bore the weight of every death like a personal failure. He took way too much on himself, as if life and death began and ended with him.

“I’ll go speak to some of the women still recovering. I’m sure the attack hasn’t helped. They must be scared and reliving what they’ve been through.”

He nodded, but he was looking down, defeat in the slump of his shoulders.

“We bring them here and promise them safety. How can they trust that when we’re attacked where they were promised it would never happen? I can heal their physical wounds, but I can’t reach the ones that go deeper, the mental and emotional scars.”

“Some wounds can only heal with time,” Jemma offered softly, but it wasn’t just the recovering captives she thought of. “He doesn’t get to win, Jensen. Not him or any of the vicious group who’ve made it their mission to hunt us to extinction. Everyone there needed to hear your words, needed to know how much of yourself you give to this den and our species.” She put her hand on his shoulder, squeezing softly. “And you need to know that you’re not alone. Every single one of us will stand with you, will give all we can to help you. You’re not alone, Jensen. You never have been.”

“Thank you,” Jensen said again, but he finally turned toward her. His face was ravaged with exhaustion. When did he ever take the time to rest?

“Why don’t you take a few hours to get some sleep? Morning rounds have been made, and I’ll stay here in case anyone needs anything.” She held up her finger to stop whatever he’d say. “I’ll send someone for you if you’re needed. Please, Jensen. There’s a human saying that goes something like, you can’t pour from an empty cup. That applies to you more than anyone I know. In your quest to save as many of us as you can, don’t forget to save yourself first.”

“I hope my brother recognizes what a gem he has in you.” He leaned in and kissed her brow softly. “I believe I’ll take your advice. God’s truth, I’m tired.”

“Go.” She waved him off. “I’ve got this.”

With that, he turned and left. She spent a little while tidying up, but really, there wasn’t much to do. Jensen’s meticulous nature ran to keeping everything organized and clean, as well. It had been barely ten minutes when the door was flung open and Muriel stepped inside, tugging the door firmly shut behind her.

Muriel was another of the females from the Holloway den who’d been found after the attacks and hidden away by the elders. Seven of them had been put together while the elders, with Lawrence at the helm, decided what was best. Muriel hadn’t been among those with Jemma at that time. They’d met later, when they’d both been discovered and brought to the Holloway den. Muriel was soft spoken, sweet, and one of the most beautiful women Jemma had ever met.

“That ass of a man is going to drive me absolutely crazy!” Muriel huffed as she joined Jemma, pacing the room like a caged animal.

“The one Jensen flew in?” Jemma questioned, knowing Muriel had spent a lot of time with him since he’d arrived. “Jasper, right?”

“Yes,” Muriel all but growled.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with him.”

“I was keeping him company.” Muriel wrapped one arm around her waist while she stared out the window. “He was severely injured when he arrived. On death’s door.”

“He seems to be recovering now.” At least, he’d appeared to be getting better the last time Jemma had seen him. Yet, there was something in Muriel’s gaze that made Jemma wonder if she was missing something.

“He still can’t feel his bear, but Jensen’s started him on the regimen to try to counter the drugs Jasper was pumped full of to cage his animal side. We’re hoping to see a change soon.” Muriel paused with a shake of her head. “They’re not working like Jensen hoped, and Jasper doesn’t seem to think they will.”

Jemma studied the other woman for a few minutes. “Is Jasper your mate?”

Muriel ignored the question. “He’s such an ass. I should never have gone into that cabin to check on him. He’s basically kept me there ever since.”

“And what’s he doing with you?” Jemma asked then grinned when Muriel blushed. “Oh, do tell.”

“You’re one to talk. I saw Brock carrying you to the main house, and Jensen said you spent the night with him.”

“I didn’t spend the night with Jensen,” Jemma denied.

“Ha-ha-ha,” Muriel mocked. “You know who I mean. You spent the night with Brock. Does that mean you’ve decided to stop fighting one another and mate?”

“I don’t know,” Jemma admitted. “I feel like I’m waiting to wake up. For the real Brock to step out and…” She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“What do you want to happen?”

“I want…to talk to Brock.” Jemma stopped walking. “We had plans to do that today, but everything happened. I need to know what he’s thinking and understand this sudden change of heart when it comes to me.”

“What did you do last night? If you can share.”

Jemma hated to douse the excitement in Muriel’s voice.

“Showered, ate, then went to sleep.”

“With Brock.”

Jemma nodded. “Yes, but we literally slept. He said I needed my rest, and he was right. I was exhausted. I fell asleep immediately after eating.”

“You’re recovering. Of course, you need sleep.”

“Yes, and you’ve deflected enough. Is Jasper your mate?”

“No. Maybe.” Muriel shrugged. “I haven’t decided yet.”

“Men can be so frustrating,” Jemma agreed as the door opened again. This time, it was Brock.

“Frustrating, huh?” He moved directly toward her, using his knuckles to tilt up her head. After staring at her for a long moment, he dipped down, brushing his lips over hers, soft and slow, but she felt the promise of more. Then he turned to Muriel, keeping Jemma close at his side.

“How’s Jasper doing?”

Jemma almost laughed at the glare Muriel cast at Brock. Then she did laugh when the other woman snarled and walked out, slamming the door behind her.

“What did I say?” Brock asked, appearing completely confused.

“I think Muriel’s a little irritated with the male in question. He seems to rub her the wrong way,” Jemma admitted.

“Then why has she spent so much time with him?”

“Did you know Muriel’s father was a doctor? She grew up following him everywhere. Judging by some of the things I’ve seen her help with, she learned a lot from him.”

“Interesting.” He glanced around. “Where’s my brother?”

“Resting, I hope. I’m worried about him.”

“I knew he was stressed, but…” He paused. “Do you know why he became a doctor?”

Jemma shook her head.

“When our mother got sick, no one knew what was wrong with her. A virus of some sort they hadn’t ever seen. It started suddenly, with her feeling nauseous. Then she couldn’t keep anything down. It attacked both sides of her, human and animal, and her bear wasn’t able to help her heal. We were helpless to do anything but watch her waste away. Jensen left soon after. He’d already applied to college but changed to pre-med. When he graduated as Dr. Holloway, he turned to learning everything he could about shifters in general, bears especially. He’s made it his mission to learn everything he can. Then our father was brought back, and the only thing we could do was bury his body. Then the attacks. Every time, Jensen has responded by learning more, doing more, researching more.”

“Everyone has a breaking point, Brock,” she reminded him.

“I think I just saw my brother reach his,” Brock admitted. “It’s funny. All our lives, we’ve been taught to play to our strengths. Laramie was always going to step in as alpha. Not just because he’s the oldest brother but because he has the Kodiak in him, just like our father. Koby was always going to be his right hand. Jensen was the one with his nose in a book. We always knew whatever he decided to do, he’d be the best. Declan’s the cool head, always logical. Slade can fix anything, and Matheus has always been the peacekeeper.”

“And you?”

“I have an affinity for math. Laramie is fond of saying my brain is like a computer.”

“Logical like Declan then,” Jemma mused.

Brock laughed. “No, I let my emotions rule too much to be the logical one. Look how I behaved with you.”

“The fact you couldn’t stand to be in the same room with me?”

He pulled her close and dropped another kiss on her lips. “I couldn’t think. All I could do was feel. I let my emotions rule me.”

“Then why did you hate me?”

“Jemma, I never hated you. I’ve wanted you from the moment Fletch showed up with you.”

“Then why did you constantly push me away?” she demanded, needing the answer to that question more than she wanted to admit.