32. Noah

Sunset Harbor makes a prettybig deal out of the Fourth of July. They do a pancake breakfast, parade, dance, fireworks—the whole shebang. I was hoping Cat would want to go to the festivities with me, but since our working relationship ended, I didn't ask her. Sometimes a little breathing space goes a long way. I didn't want to rush her into any decisions, even if keeping my distance has felt like taking a cheese grater to my emotions.

I've seen Cat off and on all day at the various festivities. She's been polite, but there's been a solid wall of ice layering our brief conversations. I'm assuming for self-preservation. It's taken everything in me to respect her boundaries and refrain from taking a blowtorch to her frozen castle.

I also found out who paid Otto's bill, but I don't know how to tell her.

With my app launch coming up, I tried to fall back into work and let it consume me, but it wasn't the distraction I hoped for. Mateo picked up the medication Dr. Stein prescribed, so I started that a few days ago. It's too early to tell if it's going to help, but I'm hopeful.

Now the fireworks are over. I'm sitting on the dark beach while a bonfire blazes in front of me, feeling for the first time like I have control of my life and also like I'm missing the one thing I want most.

Tristan is here with the girl he's been dating, Capri—well, hoping to date. From the look of it, things are going well in that department. Watching them together makes my stomach clench. I want that to be me and Cat, too. Not just friends. I don't want to be friends with her, and it was a stupid thing to agree to in the first place. Why would I let her put me into the friendzone when I know we could be so much more?

Now we're worse than that. I wouldn't call us enemies, but Cat might. Judging by the way she looked at me today though, I have a feeling she's more hurt than mad.

Tristan is chatting with someone else now, but his fingers are playing with the ends of Capri's long, dark hair.

I want that to be me and Cat. To fall headfirst into the stage of the relationship where you just can't keep your hands off each other. I yearn for it so badly I think I might vomit.

Maybe I should just come clean. I could tell Cat the truth, beg for her forgiveness, and explain my plan.

If she forgives me and things keep going well for Tristan, we could double. Take the yacht out. Start building our couples' relationships on the island.

Okay, one thing at a time.

I stand up.

Cat left like twenty minutes ago, so she can't be far now.

Let's be real. Nowhere on this stretch of land is very far.

"You leaving?" Tristan asks. His arm is around Capri, and she gazes up at him with a tender smile. Yeah, there's no way they're staying single for much longer.

"Yeah. I'd better run."

"See you around, man."

Hopefully sooner rather than later, when we're on that double date. Cat is in my future. I can taste it. I can almost taste her.

I wave at the few people I was chatting with closer to the fire and take off. Cat was polite all day. The lack of vitriol must be a good sign. Maybe she's hurting as much as I am with the distance between us.

Distance with Cat is not what I want for my life. I want her. If I don't lay it all out there now, I'll miss my shot.

I pull out my phone while I'm walking away from the beach and call her.

"Hello?" she asks, a little breathless.

I'm just glad she answered. "Are you busy?"

"Um?.?.?. not really."

"Can you meet me at my house? I know you don't?.?.?. that things are different, but I'd really like a chance to talk. To explain."

There's silence.

I stop walking, my voice dropping. "Please."

"Okay." There's a beat of time before she says, "I'll be there in ten."

It takes too long to locate my golf cart. The moment I find it, I race home, toward her.

Cat is sitting at my kitchen island when I get home. I'm glad she felt comfortable enough to let herself in, at least. I lower myself on the barstool beside her.

"Will you let me explain everything before you get angry?" I ask.

"Yes." Her hair is still half-up, like it was all day, the red scarf that led us to our watery collision last month tied around it. Her skin has a glow from the sun, but her eyes are wary, the blue dimmed. "Who was it?"

I take a beat. "Olive."

Cat's jaw clenches. "You told her about my situation?"

"No. Well, yes, but not how you think. She was worried I was facing a gold digger?—"

Cat's frown deepens.

"I explained it was a short-term job we mutually benefited from—which is the truth, like it or not. I needed help around the island so Mateo wasn't spread too thin, and you needed help to pay off Otto's bill. I realize I shouldn't have told her, but I thought I was absolving you with the information."

"Go on," she says tightly.

"Olive was grateful you forgave her at Tootsie's party. It was a huge weight off her shoulders. I didn't know she'd been holding on to the guilt for so long—I mean, I didn't know about any of it. Clearly it was a burden you relieved for her. She wanted to do something nice for you."

"To pay me back?"

"No, that's not how she said it. She doesn't want you to know it was her. She just wanted to be a good Samaritan and bless your life, since she knows she really screwed up all those years ago."

"She's atoning," she says flatly.

"I don't know, Cat. I know my sister, though, and she wasn't trying to ruffle feathers. She was hoping the hospital would let you know a foundation had come through and cleared some debts, that yours was one of them. I guess you called in before the hospital could reach out to you."

Cat closes her eyes and leans forward on her bent arms.

I'm tempted to rub her back, but I'm not sure she wants me touching her now. "It's the truth, Cat. My sister's boyfriend has a foundation that does this—pays off hospital debts for uninsured people all over the country. He partners with different hospitals to offer debt forgiveness, too, even for those with insurance when the bills are outrageous or the insurance refuses to help. It's not like Olive went in and just wrote a check. She utilized Dash's foundation, made a donation—larger than the sum of your bills—and submitted Otto's situation. It could have happened to you even if Olive didn't know." I smile with faint self-deprecation. "The whole thing was approved and expedited because she's dating Dash, but Olive went through the proper channels."

Cat glances up. "Dash Malone does this?"

"Yeah. He even goes into some of the hospitals dressed up as Superman occasionally. He has a big heart."

Her clear blue eyes peer at me. "So Olive paid it through the foundation," she repeats, as if saying the words will allow them to sink in.

"The money was Olive's, but the foundation did the legwork. She wanted it to be anonymous." I clear my throat. "Does Otto know?"

"I haven't said anything to him. I wanted more information first."

"So?.?.?. are you going to let the hospital make the phone call? They'll tell him about the foundation and how his debt is cleared. He can quit working at the Belacourt and go back to surfing all day."

She sits up, looking at me. "Keeping Olive out of it."

"She wants to stay out of it. I know you want to tell him, but she really wanted this to remain anonymous. Do you think you can forget you know, for her sake?"

Cat's nodding, looking in the distance. A little furrow pops between her brows, so I reach forward and smooth it out. She turns to look at me.

"Maybe we can be friends again," I ask, my heart in my throat.

"I'm not working for you. I'm not letting you pay me." But she doesn't say no.

There's a week worth of work she hasn't been paid for yet, but that's a debate for another day. "We can discuss a fair wage, but you need to be paid for the work you did."

She doesn't argue. We can figure that out later. Right now, I need to tell her how I feel. I can sense her softening toward me, and I can't hold my feelings in anymore.

But I don't want to do it here. This house has more negative associations for me than positive ones, and if my parents are selling it, I don't want it to be the place where I confess my feelings to her. No, that'll be my favorite place on the island.

"Will you come with me?" I ask, holding my breath. "I want to show you something."

Cat only nods.

I lead her outside and down the path away from the resort. I put in the code and unlatch the gate just behind my parents' house, the one that takes us directly to the cove. Other families use it sometimes. My dad gave the code to a few other locals years ago, but right now it's blessedly empty.

The staircase leads to a sharp, steep decline onto the beach. It's dark, so I pull out my phone's flashlight and we descend in silence. Once our feet hit the sand, I reach for Cat's hand to help her over the rocks at the base of the stairs.

"What is this place?" Her voice is normal now, the animosity and hurt gone. It gives me so much hope.

"I've always called it Pirate's Cove, because that was its purpose for a lot of my young life, but I think my dad named it Belacourt Cove at some point."

Nothing can rival Tom Belacourt's love for his own name.

"Is it private?"

"Yeah. It's where I have the few good memories from my childhood, before my parents started fighting so much. We used to bring picnics down here in the summer and play in the water until our shoulders were red and our fingers were raisins."

It's a small cove, not much more than a little beach and a lot of waves at this point in the evening. In the daytime, there's much more sand.

"Will we be stuck down here if the tide comes in?" she asks.

"The tide is in as far as it usually goes in July, but as long as we can get to the stairs, we'll be fine." I turn off my flashlight, letting the stars shine over us. We're cloaked in darkness, but the full moon glows on the stretch of white sand, making it possible to see each other.

"This could be super creepy with the wrong person," she mutters.

"Or romantic with the right one?"

Her eyes cut to me. "I don't think you're supposed to be romantic with your friends."

At least we've made it back to the friendzone. We're heading in the right direction. "You can if you're trying to get that friend to date you."

"Okay, let's dial it back," she says, a little worried. "I thought we decided?—"

"Not we. You decided. I realized I don't have to sit back and let you slip away. Not without fighting for you."

She's silent, her round blue eyes locked on my face.

"I've liked you for a long time, Cat. You're smart and funny and beautiful and you are unapologetically you. I've been envious of that and admired it. It's one of the things I really appreciate about you."

"I'm not sure this is a good idea," she whispers.

I press on. "When I came to live full time on the island this summer, I was feeling lost and alone, struggling to get a handle on my emotions and my purpose. You popped in, the same as before, but so much more too. You brought the sun to me, Cat. No, you are the sun. You brighten my world. You don't make me feel any less for having trouble with anxiety or my imperfections. You're just you, and you let me be me. I sought perfection for so long, I didn't see what I really needed until you showed me."

I slide my hand down her arm until I find her fingers, interlacing them. "I don't feel broken when I'm with you. I don't feel like I need to be fixed."

"Oh, Noah," she says. "You're not broken."

I suck in a breath, dropping my voice. She called me by my name. Not Bruce. Not Belacourt. Not Moneybags or whatever that one was. "Say it again."

"You aren't broken?"

I shake my head.

"Noah," she whispers.

Two steps is all it takes to close the distance between us. My hands are lost in her hair and around her waist, pulling her close to me. I pause just before reaching her lips, my heart hammering, breathing rapid. I'm waiting for her to tell me it's okay, that she wants this—but I don't have to wait. Her breath is hot on my mouth as she crushes her lips to mine.

Not for the cameras. For me. This kiss is entirely us, and my body is exploding just like it did the last time. A flurry of fireworks makes my nerves dance while her lips tangle with mine. I break away, my breathing ragged. I've cracked my heart and opened it to her entirely.

"I love you, Cat."