Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Fawn

For some reason, Benny is determined to make me believe the worst about him. Maybe I should. Maybe I should take a look at this man holding a gun and threatening the lives of others so casually and believe what he’s saying. Maybe I would if I couldn’t sense the turmoil in him. If he didn’t look me in the eye and essentially tell me he wants me, but he’s not good enough. If I hadn’t watched him for countless hours in the woods tending to sick animals.

This man is not what he seems.

Whereas my father is a bad man on a bad path, Benny is a good man on a bad path.

That’s what my instincts are telling me. The way he looks at me, like I might be his salvation but he’s not selfish enough to take it, only makes me want him more. Only makes me want to climb inside of his mind and calm the chaos.

And my body, well…it hungers for him like it has been starved to the brink of death.

Benny is obviously under the impression that I’ve never been around other males before. Of course I have. I haven’t spent my whole life chained in the basement. I know what people consider “classically handsome” and I also know Benny is not that. But I’ve never been interested in the handsome boys. They’re too charming. Deceptive. Used to getting their way. I wouldn’t touch one of them with a ten-foot pole.

Benny is the only one who has ever made me wet between my legs.

He’s the man I picture in the role of hero as I read my notebooks.

My heart tells me there is a gentle giant under this façade of violence—and I’m determined to peel back the layers until I reach it.

Looking up at him through my eyelashes, I pull down the neckline of my dress and offer him a view of my breasts. Are they pleasing to him? I have no idea—

Wait. Yes.

Yes, they are.

He makes a ragged sound, his erection surging up between my legs. “Please, girl, you’re going to make me come.”

Following the urges of my long-denied hormones, I shake my mounds at him and his hips start bouncing me up and down. As if involuntary. “Prove you want me,” I gasp.

“You will regret it,” he grits out, right in my face. “Can’t you see I’m a monster?”

He hates himself. That’s why he won’t let me love him.

“I won’t regret you.” I scrub my palms up and down his big, heaving chest. “Not ever.”

“I kill for a living, Fawn.”

That hits me like a blow to the stomach. I hate violence. I hate it more than anything in this world. Problems should be solved with reasonable words. Negotiations. But I can’t ignore the intuition that he doesn’t like violence, either. A man who has a thirst for murder doesn’t mend squirrel legs and clean up litter in the forest so the animals won’t choke on the plastic. “You’re going to stop for me.”

“I’m…” A shudder passes through him and he stops breathing. “I’m what?”

“You’re going to stop for me.”

As I say those words, the boat slides onto the shore. We’re no longer moving. I look behind me and spy a big, black vehicle waiting nearby. It’s obviously how they reached this point in the swamp before having to switch to the boat. “Fawn, I…don’t know how to do anything else. I’m not good for anything else.”

I take his hands and place them over my bare breasts, earning me another series of lap bounces. Another bear-like groan. “Take me somewhere alone,” I whisper against his chin. “Take what I’m offering a good man. A good man who doesn’t need a gun or his fists to be exactly what I need. If my words can’t convince you of what I see…that you’re a kind man on the inside…then maybe my body can.”

“Fuck,” Benny breathes, standing suddenly and climbing out of the boat with me in his arms, his balance pitching slightly. “I’m at the end of my rope. Have to get my cock inside you.” Turning his head, he pins the other man with a glare. “You stay out here and wait. If I see you anywhere near the car, you’ll regret it.”

Grim sighs and takes a seat on a log. “Lucky bastard.”

Without warning, my back hits the side of the black SUV. Benny’s keys come out, he presses a button and the door is wrenched open. I’m thrown down roughly onto the spacious backseat. Benny stands at the entrance, his blunt fingers fumbling with the fly of his pants, his eyes wild, zeroed in on my womanhood. “Oh Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,” he says, a trickle of sweat going down the side of his face. “No way I’m going to fit in that tiny little thing.”

“The woman is the one who usually thinks that,” I whisper, shaken. It’s finally happening. Benny, my giant from the forest, is going to engage in the act of sex with me. Pleasure.

And then I see it.

His cock.

It’s…no, that can’t be right.

“M-maybe I was wrong,” I say, gulping. “Maybe it won’t go in.”

I’m dragged by the ankles to the edge of the seat. With shaking hands, he reaches up beneath my dress and wrenches the panties down my legs, dropping them onto the seat beside my hip. “I’ve never done this before, either, baby. But I know for a fact, I ain’t stopping now.” He leans in close to look at my flesh and groans, his hips ramming up against the edge of the seat, rocking the SUV. “Christ, no way I could.”

Shock blares through me. “It’s y-your first time, too.”

“Yes.” He rakes a hand through his hair, looking both starved and conflicted. “Yes. And I don’t understand the things I want to do. How can I want to give you pleasure and want to…to fuck you so brutally at the same time?”

“Do whatever feels right,” I urge him, breathless. “I promise to love it.”

A muscle pops in his jaw, his hands settling on my knees. Flexing. Hesitating. And then he jerks my legs open, spits on my sex and slaps at it, sharply. “You like that, horny girl?”

My world has tilted on its axis. One of my stories went like this. The male lover punishing his woman in all manner of sensual ways. It’s the story I read the most often. “Yes.”

“Good.” He settles his generous weight down on top of me, his stiffness parting my folds, sliding the trunk of his arousal up and back through my slickness, stimulating my clit. “Do whatever feels right? Fine. We’re not stopping until that pretty little thing is stretched around me tight and you’re crying up at Daddy for his come.”

I’m whimpering and struggling to breathe now. I thought I was prepared for this onslaught of passion, but my desire is nothing like the written words in the notebook. It’s real and it’s inside of me, screaming to run loose. My fingers are undoing the buttons that run down the front of my dress, wanting to be completely naked for him. Wanting to offer up everything I am. Everything I have. “I kept my virginity for you, Daddy. I was a good girl.”

“I kept mine for you, too, baby,” he says, gruffly, staring down at my nude body in awe. “But that doesn’t make me a good man. I’m worried it means I won’t be able to control myself.” Slowly, his fingertips trail up the center of my body and he wraps a meaty hand behind my neck, his thumb massaging my throat, his manhood pulsing between my legs. “I don’t deserve this. You. You should be wrapped in silk in a palace somewhere. Not lying here with your legs spread open for a beast.”

“I don’t want to be anywhere else,” I whisper, shaken, reaching up to run my hands down the sides of his face, wrapping my thighs around his hips as far as they’ll go. “And if you’re a beast, then you’re exactly what I want. You’re what has been keeping me awake at night, wet and burning. Make it stop.”

During my speech, he has started panting, the temperature of his skin rising several degrees. “Make it stop, Daddy.” On that final word, he tightens his hold around my throat and I sob, a spasm running through my intimate muscles, setting loose more moisture, which he grinds into eagerly. Roughly. And then he releases my throat, reaches down and guides himself to my entrance, the bulbous head of his shaft stretching me, his huge, hairy thighs chafing the smooth insides of mine. “Never been near a pussy before, but even I know this one is young. How old are you?” He grits out a curse. “Sweet Jesus, should have asked before. No matter what you say now, it’s going in. Every filthy inch. I can’t stop now.”

“I’m a big girl,” I say, my upper lip curling flirtatiously.

With his eyes fastened to my mouth, he grunts, shudders, and a hot spurt of seed nearly scalds the flesh between my thighs. “Holy shit, I’m not going to make it a minute. Give me a number, Fawn. I need to know if I’ve crossed the line from monster to Satan territory.”

“I’ve been eighteen for three months,” I say, arching my back, nearly delirious with pleasure already, simply from the anticipation of this man taking full ownership of me. “Every one of them was spent waiting for you. Please. I’m aching all over. Make it stop, make it stop.”

“God forgive me,” he rasps, working his stiffness deeper into my body, before sliding a hand under my buttocks and holding my right cheek in a tight grip. Positioning me, keeping me steady. Then he stamps his mouth down over mine, hot breath coming out his nostrils in rapid succession, his sweat dripping onto my skin. And he slams forward with a yell, catching my shrill scream in his hard mouth.

There was no other way to break through my barrier or get the bulky size of him through my untried channel. I know that.

But my stories never describe the pain accurately. Or in major detail.

It’s an invasion. The wind is knocked out of me, discomfort blooming between my legs, the stretching sensation so much more intense than I expected it to be. Yet his ample weight is pinning me to the seat and he’s so unbelievably hard inside of me. An animal following his instinct to mate. I’m being taken by my giant. Finally. It’s such a relief to be his sacrifice that I overlook the throbbing ache and the discomfort fades into an afterthought. Especially compared to the utter bliss on his face. The dropped jaw and glazed eyes. His rattling breaths.

“Can’t believe…” he starts, struggling through an inhale. “Can’t believe this is real. I felt that cherry pop, little girl. I fucking felt it. Made this pussy mine.”

“Yes.” Ignoring the twinge deep beneath my belly button, I roll my hips upward, rejoicing in his guttural moan. “You made me yours. You own me, now play with me.”

His flesh swells inside of me, tremors coursing through every giant inch of him. “You can’t be used to me yet. You can’t be real.”

“I could say the same thing about you,” I whisper against his mouth, teasing his lips with my tongue until he parts them, letting me lick into his mouth, my hands sneaking down to the thick slabs of his butt, purring and yanking him deeper. “But you’re too huge and hard and deep to be anything but real.”

“Ain’t going to make it but a minute,” he heaves, face screwed up with an intoxicating mixture of pleasure and pain. “Should have licked your pretty cunt. Hell, I can’t last long enough to make you come. I’m already dripping all over that womb, baby.”

I bite my lip playfully, watching his hungry reaction as I trail a hand down my stomach and start to fondle my clit. “I’ll help, Daddy.”

The animalistic sound he makes could have come from the surrounding forest. “Oh fuck. Fuck. Such a hot and horny little thing. So motherfucking tight around my dick.”

He throws back his head and starts to ride me rough. It’s nothing short of a frenzy.

I’m a toy to manhandle—and I love it.

Love watching his eyes turn blind, feeling the heavy pendulum of his testicles slapping off my bottom. He drops his face into my neck and grunts frantically, his long sex pumping and pumping, his huge body flattening me into the seat. The car makes a rusted creaking sound with every thrust of his shaft into my wet flesh and that sound comes faster and faster, his hips grinding me down and taking. Just when I’m positive he can’t make love to me any harder or with more intensity, he shoves my knees up to my ears and drills downward, lifting and pummeling me with his entire weight, making me scream.

“You like how I play?” he growls, dragging his tongue up the side of my face, nuzzling his face into my hair without gentleness. “This wouldn’t look like playtime to anyone walking by. No way I could convince a court of law you handed over this perfect little pussy without me having to use force. Especially with your virgin blood splattered all over my belly, baby.”

I want to say something back. Want to tell him I love the way he speaks to me, that it makes my clit more sensitive, makes me feel like a coveted object—but apparently that is exactly what I need to coax my orgasm to the fore. To be his prized treasure. To have him praise me so crudely and bluntly. Because here it comes. I release a closed-mouth sob and pet my clit faster, seeking out Benny’s mouth with mine, kissing him wildly while the inferno inside of me builds. “Harder,” I whimper, sick, delirious lust snaring me in its trap, unleashing the desire kept hidden inside of me so long. “Make a baby inside me, Daddy.” I bury my teeth in the thick muscle of his shoulder, biting down hard. “Breed me good.”

“Son of a bitch!”

If I thought we moved in a frenzy before, it’s nothing compared to now.

There is clawing and straining and violence. Biting and humping and bruising.

My giant pounds me into the seat, that massive part of him growing ever larger, training the untouched flesh inside of me to accommodate him. I scream in pleasure, scream his name, and this time he doesn’t manage to catch the sound with his mouth. Vaguely, I remember that Grim is nearby—very close—watching the SUV rock with the force of our lovemaking. The other man can hear me crying out for his friend. And maybe I shouldn’t be turned on by that, but oh lord, I am. I want everyone to know Benny is mine. I want to belong to my giant in the eyes of every single person we meet. And I want them to know I’m satisfied. Will never need another.

“Mine, mine, mine,” I chant, my climax riding in on a golden wave and carrying me up, up to the loftiest peak I can imagine. A place I’ve never gotten on my own, have only read about in my notebooks. And it’s even more glorious than I could have imagined. “M-my first orgasm,” I breathe choppily. “Oh it’s so good, Daddy, so good.”

“Here comes mine. First one that counts.” He plants his open mouth on my temple, his hips slapping against me in a blur—and he freezes, big body quaking as hot moisture fires down the back of my womanhood, branding me, filling me to overflowing. Only when his spend begins to crest over the sides of my sex does Benny begin to thrust again, even more ferocious than before, his face in a permanent wince, teeth drawing blood on his bottom lip. “Milked it right out of me, little girl. Didn’t stand a chance. Goddamn, I can’t stop. Going to drown that virgin womb of yours. Leave it gasping for air. You think you need to beg me to get you pregnant? You think I can do anything else but put a baby in this ripe-ass belly?”

His words set off another spasm between my legs and I cry out, my vocal cords fried, flesh squeezing almost painfully between my thighs, stroking his still-pumping cock. It goes on for long moments, the ripple of relief coursing through me again and again until I am nothing but human jelly on the backseat. I stare blindly up at the ceiling, limbs limp, the relentless hunger finally abated for the first time since I discovered the notebooks.

“Thank you,” I breathe, licking salt from my man’s shoulder, trailing my fingertips up and down his back. “You saved me. I don’t ache anymore. Thank you.”

Benny stares down at me, supported on one jacked arm, his disbelief obvious. “You’re…thanking me?”

“Mmmm,” I purr, sliding my touch through his chest hair. “No one else in the whole world could have given me exactly what I needed.”

I think my vow is going to please Benny. Instead, his muscles flex to the point of strain, his lips peeling back from his teeth. “No one else will ever give you a goddamn thing. Ever again. No one but me.” He leans down and snaps his teeth against my throat. “Understand?”

Euphoria cascades through my chest, pooling in my belly. “Yes. I understand. I won’t ever want anyone else. Not ever.”

“My girl. My pussy,” he growls, sitting back and shoving his semi-hard sex back into his jeans, zipping up and pulling me onto his lap sideways, cradling me like a baby and stroking my hair with a heavy hand. “Must have done something right in this life, because I’m your Daddy now. And that’s the way it’s going to stay.” Do I imagine the flicker of panic in his features? “Whether you like it or not.”