Chapter 30

30

“ S he’s so exhausted,” Hudson whispered into the top of Kyree’s head. Her hair waved lazily in the water tickling Hudson’s chin.

“We all are.” Honour’s voice was soft and gentle, and Hudson looked up from the mer wrapped in their arms to meet Honour’s eyes.

“Yes.” Hudson nodded, a lump in her throat taking form. “Do you need to attend to the troops?”

“No.” Honour shook her head as she answered instantly. Hudson could see the moment when she had a second thought. Honour shook her head in correction. “Well, yes, but that can wait.”

“She needs to get some rest.” Hudson was going to take Honour’s answer for what it was. Because she had her own men to find and to prepare for the next battle. But it was going to be a while before she could do that.

“I’m fine.” Kyree’s small voice piped up from between the two mers holding her.

“You’re incredible,” Hudson answered. “But you are in need of rest. And a lot of it. You can’t keep going on like you were before.”

“The work isn’t done.” Kyree squirmed, but her resistance against the strong arms of the warriors holding her did nothing but bring a smile to Hudson’s face. That was the mer she had fallen in love with, the one who could fight even without violence. Kyree was stubborn as they came. Most days anyway.

“The work can wait,” Hudson tried again, this time using a softer tone in hopes that it would help ease whatever anxiety was flowing through Kyree’s mind.

“But—”

“No.” Honour’s voice cut off Kyree’s argument before it could begin. “All the work can wait. We have earned a reprieve. You’ve earned it more than any of us.”

“No, I haven’t.” Kyree’s voice was filled with a pain that Hudson didn’t understand. But the weight of Kyree’s body in her arms she understood all too well.

“Let’s get her back,” Honour said before Hudson knew what to suggest. She wanted to dig deeper into whatever was holding Kyree back, but at the same time she was afraid of it. Krakens she could fight to the death, but one single mer who could change the course of her future was scarier than even the meanest and violent of enemies.

“Together?” Hudson hated the pleading in her voice, but there was nothing she could do about that now. And she wasn’t sure she would want to even if she could.

“Will you come with me?” Honour asked her own question in reply.

“Yes.” Hudson’s heart hammered in her chest. She wanted to go back to that place just moments earlier when nothing else mattered except the safety of the three of them. When the fear hadn’t been present and gnawing at her stomach.

Silently, the three swam back toward the gates of Reine. They held Kyree carefully in the space between the two of them, making sure that she was cared for. The fact that Kyree didn’t put up much of a fight was telling. She truly had reached the limit of her energy.

They spoke little as Honour led them into the castle, and Hudson found herself surrounded by the grandeur that she had once thought was the ultimate goal of her life. It no longer compared to the beauty of the two mers who filled the space with her.

Kyree lay curled up in a nest of seaweed, while Hudson and Honour took turns being beside her or finding sustenance to build her strength back up again.

“It’s late, Hudson,” Honour’s voice cracked into the silence.

“D-do you want me to leave?” Hudson frowned. She’d anticipated that Honour would leave her here with Kyree to go and deal with her troops, but that hadn’t happened yet. Or that Honour would vanish into the ether just to get one look at Soulara, the princess they had risked their lives to save, because that was all Honour had been able to think about for so long.

And yet…that hadn’t happened.

They were tucked away in Honour’s home, wrapped around Kyree, caring for her together like they would if they were in a battle—routine and without talking. They knew what each one of them needed, and they weren’t going to fight to get it. They were just going to do—do exactly what needed done and nothing more.

“No!” The speed of Honour’s response filled Hudson with more relief than the word alone might have done.

“I need to do more.” Kyree’s voice came from the bed of seaweed.

“No,” Hudson and Honour smiled at each other as they replied in unison.

“No,” Kyree’s voice cracked with that same pain Hudson hadn’t understood earlier. “You don’t understand. They’ll banish me. They won’t care that I saved our world, that I connected once more to the souls of our fellow creatures that they’ve longed to connect with for generations. They won’t care. And right now, I’m not sure I do either. I can’t go home. They won’t let me, but more than that, more than anything else, I don’t want to.”

Honour’s eyes widened as Hudson turned to look at her. Kyree had told them some of this before, but Hudson hadn’t wanted to believe it. Everyone would be honored for fighting in battle. That was what she’d been taught her entire life, and yet that wasn’t how Kyree’s people were taught to behave or even believe.

“Why won’t they take you back? They sent you here. They sent you to help Reine find a way to save our home. And you’ve done that far more than anyone could have even dreamed possible.” Honour ran her fingers over Kyree’s long, dark hair. It was such a gentle move, nothing that would be expected from a general who had just taken down the worst enemy any of them had ever seen.

“They didn’t.”

“They didn’t what?” Hudson asked, needing more information than Kyree was giving out. She had to know how she could fix this. Because certainly there was a way to fix it, right?

“They didn’t send me.” Kyree’s voice was so meek, so desperate too. Hudson wasn’t sure she’d ever heard that tone from her before, not in this exact way. Resolution? No, that wasn’t right. It was simply acceptance of what was, and a deep resignation. Kyree deserved the world. And she was accepting the fact that she didn’t.

“They didn’t send you, so now they won’t take you back?” Hudson shook her head. This was definitely a case of it all making no sense whatsoever. Kyree must have lied before. Or maybe…maybe she’d just withheld the truth like they all had.

“Oh, Kyree.” Honour rested on the edge of Kyree’s seaweed nest and placed a hand on Kyree’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because I didn’t want it to change how you saw me.”

“What’s the big deal?” Hudson barely pulled back the frustration in her tone. She didn’t like not understanding what it meant. “Kyree’s saved our entire way of life. Without her, we’d all still be fighting. Or we’d be dead. There’s no way we would have won without the souls.”

“She went against the tribe orders,” Honour said, sadness seeping into her words.

“More than their orders,” Kyree whispered. “I went against our way of living, the deepest held beliefs that we have.” The rims around her eyes held a redness that cracked Hudson’s chest. “It’s why Milan remains up here as well.”

“Because she did something against the tribe?” Hudson asked.

Both Kyree and Honour nodded.

“O…kay.” Hudson nodded slowly and then turned to meet their eyes one after the other. “So what?” She still wasn’t understanding why this was so devastating. Yes, it hurt, she could see that. But why would it matter at all?

“So what?” Kyree asked, her face crumpled into a confusing mass of anger, and pain, and fear.

Why was she so scared?

“I don’t want to go back,” Kyree said.

“Exactly,” Hudson said.

“But…” Kyree took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling several times.

Hudson remained silent, giving Kyree the time she needed. Honour seemed to do exactly the same thing.

“I’ve found my home here. I’ve found a connection I never, ever thought was possible. I never imagined I could find love at all. Let alone from such opposite tribes and from both of you. I’ve found everything, and now, why would you want me? I’m a disgraced mer. I’ve been banished from my tribe, and I can’t offer either of you anything near what you both deserve, but I can’t go back there. Even if they would take me, I can’t lose the both of you. Not now.”

The silence that rested over them throbbed in Hudson’s ears while a twisting fire of emotions writhed its way up through her body. There wasn’t enough oxygen in the water, and the opulent walls grew too close.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Hudson said in a voice that burned out of her throat while simultaneously seeming to come from everywhere but herself.

Her entire life she had disconnected when pain and risk lay at her feet. Not risk in her body or her life. But true risk. The risk of her heart and soul being hurt and broken. With a deep breath, she pushed away the distance and forced herself back into her own body, from head to tail fin.

“I never want to leave your side, Kyree.” Hudson was at Kyree’s other side. She looked up into Honour’s eyes and then back down to Kyree’s face. “I don’t care what the tribes do. I never really have. Or at least, that’s what I’ve told myself. If I hadn’t cared, I never would have fought so hard to overthrow them. But I know now what it feels like to really not care.”

Kyree’s head tilted and Hudson fought the desire to growl at her own inept use of words. With a huff, she pushed her shoulders down and tried again.

“I don’t care what they think of you. I don’t care if they raise you on their shoulders as a hero or banish you forever, with your name stricken from all histories. What I do care about is you. I care about how much you’re hurting. I care about every thought you have in your head. And I care about being by your side for the rest of my days.”

“You do?” Kyree’s hope filled her face, and Hudson felt the buildup of tears behind her eyes.

Crying? She couldn’t be crying.

But then again. She couldn’t also be in love with the two most unlikely mers in the entire sea. And yet, here she was.

“I do.” Hudson nodded and smiled at Kyree.

Stealing herself against even more pain, against the fear of rejection, Hudson lifted her head and met Honour’s eyes.

“I want you by my side as well, Honour. I care about your every thought and action, just as I care about Kyree. Without all of us, I can’t see my life being complete or as wonderful. Together we are home, and that means all of us.”

“Yes,” Kyree agreed, her head turned toward Honour as well.

Honour got up and swam back and forth in front of them.

Hudson’s heart was a stone in her chest as she waited to hear what the last piece of her heart would do.