23. Jordan

TWENTY-THREE

I truly hadn't plannedon telling the rest of the team about me being queer. Even though Polly thinks they'd be cool with it, and he wants us all to feel like a family or brotherhood or whatever, it just isn't something I think they need to know right now. Not with everything gelling so well.

For the first time in about twenty years, our team has a shot at making regionals. It's nearly the end of March, and we've only lost one game. That's not just good, it's phenomenal, and Coach is so happy, he's almost smiled a bunch of times. So nope, no way do I want to mess with the good mojo. If even one of my teammates turns out to be the tiniest bit uncomfortable with me being queer, that could get in their head and throw off the vibe for the whole team. I'm not taking that risk. I can let them know when the season's done—or next year, even. It's not like I'm going anywhere anytime soon.

Fuck knows I'm not letting Blaise go, either… in a non-chained-in-my-basement way. We haven't been together that long, so I might be jumping the gun, but I kind of think he's it. Like… it, it. I'm not usually the heart-eyes, start dating and think forever type, so I don't think I'm fooling myself.

Forever's a long time, though, so if I'm right, there's no need for us to race through the stages of commitment or whatever. We've both got things to focus on right now: for me, finishing college and enjoying baseball while I still can. For him, getting that internship and kickstarting his career. It's most likely that next year, while I'm still here at Franklin, he'll be in LA working his ass off bringing people coffee and taking notes. We're going to need to be prepared to do long-distance for at least twelve months—realistically, when he gets a job up there, longer—and I'm already prepared to go through those tough times.

I mean… assuming he wants to. We haven't exactly talked about it yet. But we did talk about taking a short weekend trip over the summer, so I don't think he's planning to ditch me. Plus, we both said the L word. I know him well enough to know he didn't do that lightly.

On top of Blaise's budding business as cosplay designer for fantasy readers, Dimi called me two days after my dads' visit. He said if the Joy Inc. internship doesn't work out for Blaise, he wants to talk to him about an assistant costume designer job for Joy Village Theater Company. Which is basically a great job offer already, though I'm not sure how Blaise would feel about moving to Joyville. It's essentially Nowhere, Georgia—the whole town exists just to support Joy Universe. And the job's in theater, not film, which is where he really wants to work. But the fact that Dimi reacted like that tells me I won't have any issues convincing my other uncles to activate their contacts if need be.

Which it won't. He's getting that internship. I can feel it.

So… yeah. Things are good, future looks bright, no need to mess with the good vibes.

I sit on the bench in front of my locker to tie my shoes, whistling. I'm headed to Blaise's next—his friends are coming over to mock some show that starts streaming its second season tonight. I don't know what it is, but apparently they've all got deeply held opinions on everything from costume design to lighting, acting, and script, so I'm prepared to sit back with my popcorn and enjoy the snark. Butch and Harold alone would make the producers weep.

"New earrings?" Laringo asks, a little too casually. I'm not sure why—he hasn't cared about the piercings before. Maybe he wants to get some himself and needs my encouragement.

"Yep! Blaise got ?em for me after last week's win. I think they bring out my eyes." I bat my eyelashes exaggeratedly, but instead of laughing, he exchanges a look with Reiner.

"Listen, uh, Marks," he begins, sounding awkward as fuck. "Don't you think him buying you earrings is a bit… weird?"

A hush falls over the room, and even though everyone continues what they were doing, I can sense their attention on us. "Weird?" I repeat. "Not really. He's investing in our wins."

"Yeah, but…" He trails off, glancing over at Reiner.

"It's just, buying someone jewelry—a lot of jewelry—that's a personal thing," Reiner jumps in. "And Blaise is gay, you know? I mean, he's great and it's been fun seeing him become a baseball fan, but he's… gay."

If one of them had punched me in the gut, I don't think I would have felt this shitty. I can't believe they're saying this. To my face. They know my dads—Laringo has actually been out to dinner with them. How can they somehow feel like Blaise being gay makes him less or whatever it is they're implying?

"I don't like what I'm hearing," Polly says in his captain voice, taking two steps forward. "Do I need to remind everyone that this is a no-hate team?"

The horror that crosses Laringo's and Reiner's faces is reassuring. "Fuck no!" Laringo bursts out. "That's not what we meant! It's just… Blaise is gay, and Marks is letting him buy him presents, and we thought…"

"Leading him on is not okay, man," Reiner finishes. "Don't give him the wrong idea—it's not fair to him."

The strangling band around my chest snaps, and I can breathe again. They're looking out for Blaise's feelings? Calling me out for "using" him? I love my team so much.

Boyle makes a strangled sound that I'm pretty sure is him trying to hide a laugh. Polly stares at them, then slowly turns to me, his gaze questioning. What do I want to do?

I wasn't going to come out to the whole team this season. I had reasons, good ones. But with all my guys watching me now, at least some of them ready to throw down for someone they don't know well just because it's the right thing to do, how can I stay quiet?

Standing, I smile at everyone. "Blaise is my boyfriend. I swear, I'm not leading him on."

Jaws drop. Eyes blink rapidly. Someone coughs.

"What?" Timmins asks. "Like… seriously, what? I thought you were straight! You were dating that Nina chick last semester."

I shrug. "I thought I was straight too. Then I thought maybe I was celeb-sexual, but turns out, I'm bi. Or pan. I'm still not sure."

"The fuck is celeb-sexual?" someone mutters.

"Marks is a dumb shit who thinks celebrities aren't real people, so for him, wanting to bone Chris Hemsworth didn't mean he wasn't straight," Boyle says matter-of-factly.

"Ryan Gosling," I correct. "Did you see him in that movie, Crazy, Stupid, Love?"

"No, because I was eight years old." Polly looks at me like I'm crazy.

"I did," Timmins volunteers, and when a dozen incredulous stares turn to him, he says, "What? I have four older sisters. Marks, man, I'm sorry, but I did not want to bone Ryan Gosling. Not the first time I saw it or the fifty million times after."

"Wait, wait, hold up." Laringo's frowning. "Why Ryan Gosling and not Chris Hemsworth?"

"Is that really what we're focusing on here?" Polly asks incredulously. "Really?"

"I'm just saying, why would you go for Ken over Thor?"

"Attraction is a strange and wondrous thing," Boyle says sagely, and we all crack up laughing. "What? I'm serious!"

"So…" Reiner looks me in the eye when we all settle down again. "You're not leading Blaise on just so he'll buy you earrings?"

I shake my head. "We're together. One-hundred-percent dating."

"Why didn't you say anything?" There's an edge of hurt in his voice. "Did you think we'd?—"

"Nope." I cut him off. "But Blaise and I don't want the publicity of me being an out collegiate athlete, so we only told a few people to start. You guys were on my list to tell next, but our juju is really good right now, and I didn't want to risk it."

"What the juju are you all blathering about?" Coach demands from the doorway. "Since when is this locker room used for talk therapy?"

I grin at him. "I told the team I'm dating Blaise."

A howl goes up. "Coach knew?" Laringo slaps a hand to his chest. "I'm dead, dude. You told Coach before you told us?"

"If you're reacting with all this drama, do you blame him?" Coach snaps. "I hope I don't need to remind anyone that this is an inclusive team, and the FU athletic department stands by its diversity policy in all its sports."

"As long as Marks keeps playing the way he is, I don't care if he dates those earrings he loves so much," Timmins says dryly, and even Coach's lips twitch at that one.

"Maybe you should all get your ears pierced," he says dryly. "Marks did, and he's having one of the best seasons I've ever seen."

Boyle's eyes light up, and Coach is quick to add, "That's not a requirement, request, or official directive. Any decision you make is not connected to this team, its coaches, or the Franklin U athletic department." He shakes his head, then turns on his heel and stalks out, muttering something about dumbass kids.

"Aww, he really loves us," Reiner says, shoving his stuff in his bag. "Okay, so Marks has a boyfriend, but we're keeping it on the down-low."

"Are we all clear on that?" Polly asks, his captain hat firmly in place. "Let's not drag the limelight away from how awesome we're playing." He hesitates, then adds, "And like Coach said, this is an inclusive team. Marks is still the same player he's been all season, and last year too. Who he's dating doesn't change that."

"Except that he's dating my sister's girlfriend's friend, who is also Polly's girlfriend's friend, and they're not only the best cheer squad we've ever had in a crowd, but they organized some kind of drive with the arts students to get ticket sales up," Boyle tacks on.

"They did?" How come I didn't know that?

Boyle shrugs, but Polly goes pink. "Uh… Calla wanted me to talk to you all about that. There's this drawing class that has a form and movement component that needs models, and they told a bunch of the students that if they showed support for the team, we might be persuaded to… model."

Reiner's bag hits the floor. "Naked?"

Polly shakes his head frantically. "No! Nope. It's not that class. They hire models for that. This is just, like, people. Moving. And maybe shirtless if you were comfortable. I modeled for Calla. It doesn't take long—she mostly did sketches while I was just working out. They need to see how arms and legs and muscles move."

I pull out my phone to text Blaise. I can't believe he didn't tell me about this. I mean, sure, he graduated and doesn't need a model, but it's his friends masterminding it all. And using it to raise support and awareness for my team.

"I could get on board with this," Laringo muses. "I like hot artsy chicks, and I look great without my shirt on."

"I'll, uh, tell Calla there'll be at least one volunteer, then," Polly mumbles. It seems like he's a little embarrassed by this. Dude needs to learn to own it. His hot, smart, ambitious girlfriend is thinking outside the box in a way that benefits her classmates and his team. There's no losers here.

"Let's have a party," I suggest impulsively, then re-think it. "Not a party, party. But like a mixer. The team and the arts kids. After a game, maybe?"

"And the art geeks can be all, ‘Wow, Laringo is soooooo perfect to model, we have to have him.' I like this idea," Laringo announces.

"Oh, are we talking about things that will never happen?" Reiner teases. "But seriously, sure. Let's do it."

Polly sighs, then laughs. "I'll tell Calla. She'll be all over it."

And just like that, me being queer is just another piece of locker room news.