Chapter 4

CHAPTERFOUR

River

As the pieces click together, the truth hits me like a ton of bricks. Her scar, the nightmares, the constant sadness in her eyes that she can never seem to shake away… Liv lost everything and had to start from scratch. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain she must have gone through and is still suffering from. My heart aches for her.

Jax erupts in frustration, slamming his hands onto his head and tugging at his hair.

“Fuck!” he shouts. “I need to get to the gym. I need to punch something, and I’d rather not rage out at home.”

I’m impressed by his self-awareness. Jax has always struggled with anger issues, which is why he got into MMA fighting, wanting to channel his anger into something productive. The fact that he can communicate his feelings and hold himself back is a huge step for him.

“Sure, bro. Let’s go,” Chase says, standing up and heading towards the door. I glance at Ryder, and we both stand up.

“Coming,” we say simultaneously, following Jax and Chase out of the house.

* * *

We’re all sitting in Jaxon’s office after taking turns on the heavy bags. It helped to release our anger and feelings of helplessness, but now we all just feel resigned and unsure of how to help Liv. I don’t know where she is or how to find her. I’m starting to doubt that she left because of Chase. Yes, she was hurt by what she saw, but she wouldn’t just give up and leave after all the hard work she put in to start a new life. Our girl is stronger than that. The fact that she’s still trying to move on and be happy, despite everything she’s been through, shows how resilient she is.

“I still can’t wrap my head around what that article said,” Ryder says, speaking softly into the silence we’re all stuck in. “She’s so fucking brave. I mean, the situation must have been brutal, but to have the strength to jump out of a third-floor window to save yourself... Do you know how high that is? It’s a miracle she even survived.”

“It wasn’t brave, it was just the lesser evil.” Liv appears in the doorway of Jaxon’s office, looking exhausted, with dark circles under her eyes and messy hair. We all jump to our feet.

“Liv! Are you okay?” I ask her, but we all stand there, frozen in place, no one daring to get to her. Her expression is haunted.

“What do you mean, the lesser evil?” Jaxon asks and Liv’s head turns to him.

“I’d just lost my parents. I watched my little brother in pain and terror before he bled out in my lap.”

I suck in a breath, feeling bile rise in my throat, before she continues.

“Liam told me he had plans for me, that he would take me away.”

“He’s a fucking psychopath,” Ryder spits out in disgust.

“He is,” Liv agrees. “I couldn’t stand the thought, so as soon as he left the room for a second, I jumped.”

“But you could have died!” Jaxon nearly yells.

“I think she knew that” Chase says sadly, his voice rough. It’s the first thing he’s said in a long time.

“I wanted to tell you guys everything before I left, but it seems you found out yourselves,” Liv says, looking at the floor, wringing her hands. “I understand if it’s too much baggage to handle. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, but I’m still struggling with a lot. I found peace with you that I didn’t want to end. I was selfish, and I’m just so damn sorry.”

We all stand there in silence, processing what Liv just told us. My heart breaks for her, and I can feel the weight of her pain in the room.

Jaxon is the first to move, walking over to Liv and pulling her into a tight embrace.

“Never do that again to me, sunshine, you hear me?” he whispers against her temple. “Give us all your pain, we’ll help you carry it. Rage, cry, mourn—we’re here for everything, but never leave us again. I can handle your trauma, but I can’t handle you leaving me.”

Liv clings to Jaxon, tears streaming down her face. “I won’t,” she whispers, her voice breaking with emotion. “I’m sorry, I won’t.”

We all gather around her and Jaxon. Ryder is petting her back, while I kiss the side of her head. Only Chase is standing awkwardly beside us, unsure if she’d welcome his comfort. It’s clear that Liv’s strength and resilience have kept her going all this time, but it’s also obvious that she needs us now more than ever. I look at Chase and then tilt my head towards Liv. This isn’t the time for him being unsure. She needs to know that we’re all here for her.

Chase steps to her side, interlocking their pinky fingers. She turns her head on Jaxon’s chest to look at him, her eyes filled with questions.

“Liv, about what you saw the other day—” Chase starts, but she cuts him off.

“Don’t worry, Chase. You never promised me anything, and how could I expect you to only want me when I want all of you? We haven’t talked about boundaries or what this is. It hurt me, but my feelings are my problem, not yours.”

Jaxon lets go of her, and Chase pulls her to him. He takes her other hand and places it flat on his chest, above his heart.

“Liv, I swear I haven’t been with anyone else since I met you. My entire world shifted, and everything that was important to me no longer matters. What we share is too precious to risk, and I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we only want you. There will be no one else but us.”

“Just us,” Jaxon affirms, his commanding gaze locked onto hers.

“Just us,” Ryder and I say, echoing him at the same time.

“That girl came onto me, but I pushed her away. I would never do that to you. You mean too much to me,” he tells her, cupping her cheek.

“He’s telling the truth,” I say, and Liv looks at me. “I have proof if you need to see it, but I wouldn’t let him talk to you like that if he really did what you think.” Liv nods slowly, and Ryder chuckles beside me.

“He even punched Chase for what happened,” he reveals, and I elbow him in the ribs. Liv inhales sharply as she looks from me to Chase and back again.

“You did?” she asks, and Chase’s mouth turns up slightly.

“He did, and he got me good, but I deserved it. You wouldn’t have left if it wasn’t for me.”

She pulls her shoulders toward her head. “Actually, there’s something else I need to tell you guys,” she says, and we all look at her curiously. “When I left the studio after seeing you and her…” She pauses, and I bite my lip. “Chris had a letter for me at reception. It was from Liam, and I panicked.”

“What the fuck?” Jaxon erupts. “How does he know you’re here?”

“I have no idea,” Liv says, her lip quivering. “He used to send me letters from the institution he was in back in Toronto, but I only opened the first one. I haven’t told anyone where I’ve gone, only our old manager who helped me get out of there, and he would never tell him where I am.”

“What did the letter say?” I ask.

“He just wrote that he missed me and couldn’t wait to get to know my new friends,” she says. “I thought he would come for you guys, Gunner, and Chris, so I panicked. I thought the only way to protect you was to leave.” Jaxon takes her chin in his forefinger and thumb.

“Eyes on me, Liv,” he commands, and she looks up at him. “He won’t get to you or to us, but we need to know everything and we need to stick together. We’re a family, and we protect each other, but I can’t protect you if you don’t tell me anything or if you run away, you hear me?”

“I hear you,” she whispers, and Jaxon gives her a quick peck before releasing her.

“Where did you go?” Ryder asks, taking her hand. “What was the plan, baby?”

“There wasn’t a plan,” she replies, looking down at the floor. “I got in my car and drove for nearly a day. After sleeping in the car for a few hours, I thought about what happened and called Frank, our former manager. I asked him if he could check if Liam was still being held in the facility, and he came back to me pretty quickly, confirming that Liam was still there. I thought he might have gotten information on my whereabouts, even though I have no idea how that could have happened. Maybe a viewer recognized me or something. He can’t just come here and hurt any of you, though, so I decided it was best to come back, tell you everything, and figure out a plan together.”

“Good girl,” Jaxon murmurs after kissing her temple.

“Yes, you did good, beautiful,” I say, smiling at her, but Chase notices Liv’s exhausted state.

“You look beat, Liv. Have you slept since then?” he asks.

“After the call with Frank, I drove right back here through the night,” she admits, shaking her head, so Jaxon immediately takes charge.

“All right, let’s get you back to our place. I’ll cook something for you and you can sleep,” he says, but Liv hesitates.

“I can go home to sleep, Jaxon, it’s no problem. I need a shower too.”

“As if we would leave you alone now,” Ryder says, putting an arm around her shoulder. “You can decide, Liv. Either you come home with us to shower, eat, and sleep there, or we all come home with you.”

“I don’t think we’ll all fit in that tiny apartment,” Liv says with a shrug as we make our way towards the exit.

“How come you have such a small one? It seems like money isn’t the issue,” Ryder asks her, and I cringe at his blunt question. Can he not put his foot in his mouth for once? Only Liv just laughs.

“What? Do I not meet your typical celebrity standard?” she teases.

“I-I didn’t mean—” Ryder stammers, but Liv interrupts.

“I know, I’m just joking,” she assures him. “It was the only one available near the campus on short notice. I thought I could find a better one when I settled.”

When we get to Liv’s Mini, I hold out my hand to her and say, “Keys.” She looks at me questioningly, so I continue, “There’s no way you’re going to drive as tired as you are, and I’m sure you’d like to have your car, so let me drive. You can ride with me or Jaxon.”

She smiles, giving me the keys and a small peck on my lips before whispering, “Thank you.” Then she rounds the hood and gets in on the passenger side.

“Let’s get going,” Jaxon says, and Chase and Ryder get into the Jeep with him.

I get in the driver’s seat, start the car, and follow behind Jaxon on the road. My right hand is on the stick, but Liv takes it and interlocks our fingers. I bring the back of her hand to my lips for a short kiss before lowering it again. I hear her sniffle, so I shoot her a quick look. Not only is she exhausted, she’s full-on sobbing now. I pull over to the side of the road and stop the car.

“Beautiful,” I start, but she already has her seatbelt undone and is crawling over the center console into my lap to straddle me before I can say anything else. Her arms are around my neck, hugging me tight, and she’s crying hard. “I’ve got you,” I tell her, stroking the back of her head and her lower back.

Jaxon has seen us stop and pulls over a few feet in front of us. Ryder gets out of the Jeep and sprints to us, opening the driver side door.

“Sit with her on the passenger seat. I’m going to drive us home,” he tells me, and I nod.

I undo my seatbelt and stand up with her hanging onto me like a little monkey, while Ryder goes to open the passenger door for us. I sit down, and he arranges the seatbelt around both of us. Liv is still crying into my neck, and I’m stroking her gently. As Jaxon and Ryder start to drive again, I whisper soothingly in her ear, but not two minutes later, she’s fast asleep in my arms.