Chapter 22

CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO

Liv

It’s Saturday, but I know from Chris that Chase doesn’t have any classes today, which is perfect because I have big plans for him. Birthdays were always a big deal in my family, and everyone would take the day off from school or work to celebrate together.

Unfortunately, my last few birthdays were less than ideal. On my twentieth birthday, I spent the day with Liam at a competition. He forgot about what day it was until my parents FaceTimed me, and even though we went out that evening, he spent the whole night talking to other people while I sat alone, sipping on my Coke.

My twenty-first birthday was even worse. It was six months after everything happened, so I stayed home and drank nearly half a bottle of Jack Daniels by myself, trying to black out and forget about the memories of happier days. I remember thinking that birthdays are only special if you have someone to share them with. If not, it’s just another day in the year with the potential to make you feel sad and lonely.

I thought I would never have a good association with birthdays ever again, and yet here I am, in my car packed with presents, some balloons, the cupcakes Gunner made yesterday evening, and all the stuff I need for the next few days, happy to spend this special day with Chase.

I park my car in front of the guys’ house and grab the plate of cupcakes in one hand and the balloons in the other. Walking up to the door, I knock with my foot, and River answers with a look of surprise.

“Liv!” he exclaims as I step inside. He’s wearing a grey T-shirt, and I peck his bicep as I walk by him.

“Where’s the birthday boy?” I ask over my shoulder, making my way into the living room.

“Liv,” River says urgently from behind me, but I’m already standing in front of Jaxon and Chase, who are sitting on the couch watching a movie.

“Hey,” I greet them both with a smile, setting the cupcakes down on the table in front of Chase. “Happy birthday!” I exclaim, but Chase looks at me with no emotion in his eyes. He stands up and walks out of the room, then I hear him shutting the door to his bedroom.

Confused and worried, I turn to Jaxon.

“What did I do?” I whisper shout, panic rising in my chest.

“Who told you it’s his birthday?” Jaxon asks, rubbing his temples, and I freeze.

“It’s not his birthday today?” I ask. Leave it to me to confuse the birthdays of my four boyfriends.

“It is. He’s like this every year,” Jaxon explains. “He doesn’t like celebrating his birthday.”

Just then, Ryder walks into the living room, but because he’s looking over his shoulder to talk to River, he doesn’t see me at first.

“Has grumpy boy said his goodbyes already?” Ryder asks worriedly, but his expression quickly changes when he sees me standing there, holding the balloons. “Hey, baby.” He smiles at me before noticing the cupcakes on the table. “Ah, fuck,” he mutters, playing with his lip ring. Jaxon gives him a knowing look.

“You told her it was his birthday but forgot to mention that we don’t celebrate it, didn’t you?” he says. I feel embarrassed and uneasy.

“Here, let me take them,” River offers before taking the balloons from my hand and bringing them into his room. If the situation weren’t so tense, I would laugh at how cute he looks with them.

“I’ll put these in the fridge,” Ryder says, grabbing the cupcakes. I look down at my feet, feeling guilty.

“I’m so sorry,” I say, wringing my hands. “Maybe I should just go, or I could try to talk to him and apologize? I don’t know which would be worse right now.” Jaxon steps in front of me.

“Eyes on me, Liv,” he says, and I give him my full attention. “You didn’t know, so it’s not your fault,” he assures me. “Chase needs to tell you his story himself, but just know that it has nothing to do with you. It’s sweet of you to bake him cupcakes,” he adds, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “Why don’t you try knocking on his door and ask him what he prefers? If he wants to be left alone, you can come back and watch the movie with me.” He kisses the top of my head, and I already feel much more grounded.

He’s right—I just need to ask Chase what he wants. Time to put on your big girl panties, Livy. Taking a deep breath, I make my way to Chase’s room and softly knock on the door.

“Chase, can we talk?” I ask, hoping he’ll answer.

After a moment of silence, he opens the door and looks at me.

“I’m sorry about the cupcakes and balloons,” I say, feeling guilty. “I didn’t know that you don’t like celebrating your birthday. I just wanted to do something nice for you because you mean so much to me.” I look down at the floor. “You don’t have to lock yourself in your room. I can just go home if you prefer. I won’t be offended. I’m sorry.”

It’s quiet for a moment before he finally speaks.

“No, I’m sorry, Liv. I didn’t mean to make you feel this way. You want to come in?” He opens the door a bit more for me to step in, and the lump in my throat gets smaller as I smile.

“Sure,” I reply.

Chase’s room is very neutral, without much personal stuff that I recognize. There aren’t any pictures or souvenirs, just a bed with dark red bedding, a TV on the wall, and a desk with a laptop on it. On the left side, under the window, there’s a bookshelf filled with books. Some are even stacked beside it because there’s no more room.

“Am I allowed to snoop? I didn’t the last time I was in here, even if I wanted to badly,” I ask, and his smile becomes a little more real.

“Have at it.”

I walk over to the bookshelf and read the titles. Most of them are fantasy, and I recognize the copy of The Hobbit that River read to me. I turn and make my way to the desk, noticing a bike part and a polishing cloth lying on it.

“I’m no expert, but wouldn’t it be better if that thing was on the bike?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood. I’m pleased when he huffs a laugh.

“The bike can still drive without it. It’s just not as silent anymore,” he explains.

“And that’s a good thing?” I ask, genuinely not understanding. He laughs again, looking at the floor and shaking his head.

“You’re fucking adorable, you know that?” he asks. I blush and make my way to his bed, sitting on the edge.

“How long have you been riding a bike?” I ask him.

“Since I was sixteen,” he replies. That’s quite a long time, considering he’s turning twenty-four today.

“Did you always have the Harley?” I inquire further. He sits beside me and takes my hand in his.

“No, I just got her last year. Fixed her up a bit,” he says with a smile.

“You did a really good job,” I say.

“You think so?” he asks with a smirk.

“Yes, I mean I have absolutely no comparison, but from my expert view, it looks pretty good,” I joke, and he smiles before kissing my temple.

“I mean, you already sat on it once. If that doesn’t make you an expert, I don’t know what does,” he says playfully.

“Hey, it was twice. I mean, we drove back again too,” I remind him, and he chuckles.

“Of course. I should take you for a ride more often,” he says, squeezing my hand. When I grimace, he asks, “What? I thought you liked it last time?” He starts stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.

“I more than liked it. I loved it,” I say.

“So, what’s the problem?” he asks.

“I may have overstepped,” I say, biting my lip. He furrows his brows in confusion, and I continue, “Considering the situation, I would say I definitely overstepped.”

“Liv, I don’t think it’s as bad as you think it is. What did you do?” he asks in concern.

Fuck it, he’ll find out anyway, and he may as well know how much I fucked up today.

“As part of your birthday present, I treated myself to a new helmet and leather jacket. I read on the internet that all backpacks have their own gear,” I say. He looks at me with wide eyes and then bursts out laughing.

“You were browsing biker forums?” he teases.

“They were very informative,” I defend in a hushed tone.

“Ah, I see. So you already know the slang, my little backpack,” he says, playfully pushing me onto his bed and leaning over me. He brushes my hair away from my face, “What kind of helmet did you get?” he asks, giving me a quick kiss.

“I went for one of those cool, old-school ones without a visor,” I reply, beaming with pride.

“Of course, it had to be stylish,” he says with a chuckle, inching closer to me. “Is it green? It might clash with the red of the bike.”

“No, I picked a black one, so you won’t be too embarrassed to ride with me,” I say with a pout. He chuckles again, leaning in even closer.

“I could never be embarrassed of you,” he whispers before kissing me passionately, sucking on my lower lip and nibbling it before deepening the kiss, his hand slipping under my shirt to caress my stomach.

Fuck, he is such a good kisser.He leans back, chuckling at my heart eyes.

“Did you bring your biker gear with you, gorgeous?” he asks.

I nod, feeling a mix of excitement and apprehension.

“Want to take it for a spin?” he suggests, his smile putting me at ease.

“I’d love to!” I reply, beaming at him. He stands up and extends his hand to me, pulling me to my feet.

“Let’s go then,” he says, leading me towards the living room, where the rest of the guys are still watching the movie. Chase tells them, “We’re taking a ride.” Then he heads for the door. I linger for a moment, feeling self-conscious as Ryder gives me a thumbs up, River smirks, and Jaxon nods in approval.

“Don’t drive like a maniac, you’ve got precious cargo with you,” Jaxon calls out to Chase.

“I’m a backpack,” I retort before shrugging and following Chase as I hear Ryder laugh.

* * *

Chase

I stand in the doorway, holding the door open for her. I already put on my own leather jacket and grabbed my helmet. She walks out the door with a small “Thank you,” and I take a minute to admire her ass in the tight black jeans she’s wearing. That woman is pure perfection.

We reach her car and I wait, feeling a little curious about what she’s bought for herself. I can’t help but regret my earlier reaction towards her. It caught me off guard, and I didn’t know how to handle her wishing me a happy birthday. I never leave the house on the day and prefer to ignore it completely, so I haven’t had to deal with people celebrating it in years. When she surprised me, all I could do was flee the scene and leave her standing there, feeling foolish. She put in the time and effort to make me feel special on my birthday, and I’m ashamed that I didn’t even thank her or try one of her cupcakes. I feel like such a jerk, but the truth is this day is tough for me, and I’m happy if I can make it through without breaking down.

She pulls a black leather jacket out of her trunk and struggles a bit to put it on. When she’s finally got the zipper up, it fits her like a glove. Holy mother of tits. Next, she retrieves a helmet from her trunk and walks over to where I’m standing by my bike. I can’t help but feel a little uneasy about her choice of helmet. Half helmets aren’t as safe, and without a visor, the wind could easily hurt her eyes, but I’m willing to give it a try. If it doesn’t fit properly or she finds it uncomfortable, she can always wear my second helmet, or we can purchase a new one together, even a green one if she prefers. I’d be willing to make a lot of compromises just to have her curves cling to me as we ride through the streets.

She places the helmet on her head and turns to me with a smile.

“How do I look?” she asks, twirling around with her arms outstretched. I try to maintain eye contact, but my gaze inevitably flicks down to her ass.

“Like a pro,” I reply, smirking as I clip her helmet’s chin strap in place.

“I was aiming for expert,” she quips, making me laugh.

I climb onto the bike and help her get settled behind me. Unlike last time, she scoots closer and wraps her arms tightly around my waist.

“Ready?” I ask.

“Yes!” she answers, and I can hear the excitement in her voice.

I turn on the engine, and the bike roars to life beneath us. With a deep breath, I slowly release the clutch, and we begin to move forward.

The wind whips past us, and I feel her grip tighten around me as we pick up speed. We navigate the streets smoothly, weaving in and out of traffic, with her laughter ringing in my ears. I can’t help but smile as I feel her body pressed up against mine, her breath warm on my neck. It feels like we’re the only two people in the world, and nothing else matters except the rush of the ride and the connection between us.

As we race down a long, straight road, she releases one hand from my stomach and thrusts it out in front of us, fist clenched. I steal a glance back at her.

“I am fucking Superwoman!” she yells, laughing loudly. I can’t help but chuckle. This girl is crazy, and I love it.

As we come to a halt at a red light, she begins to rub my thighs. I place my hands on hers and reciprocate the gesture. Her hands feel cold, and I make a mental note to get her some gloves.

“Are you cold?” I yell back to her.

She just slides her hands under my jacket and shirt, her chilly fingers now pressing against my stomach, making me shudder.

“That’s not fair,” I yell over my shoulder, and she giggles mischievously.

I guide us to an Italian restaurant located on a more secluded side of the beach and park the bike in front of it.

“I’m hungry, and pizza sounds great. Can I take you to an early dinner?” I ask once I get my helmet off, shaking out my curls before turning to her. She hops off the bike and bounces up and down on her toes, still buzzing from the thrill of the ride.

“I don’t know if I can eat. I’m still full of adrenaline,” she says.

“Let’s try, at least,” I say, patting her hair and trying to smooth it down a bit.

We step into the cozy restaurant and settle into a table, ordering a pizza and two Cokes. As we wait for our food, we chat about the ride and laugh, Liv still high on the rush. When the pizza arrives, I dig in, savoring each delicious bite. The combination of the warm, gooey cheese and tangy tomato sauce is the perfect comfort food, and I feel my mood lift with every slice.

Liv gazes out at the beach, her expression dreamy.

“What are you thinking about?” I ask her before taking a sip of my Coke.

“It’s stupid,” she says on a sigh.

“Try me,” I say, smirking.

“You know all those vacation pictures from people in Bali, driving motorcycles on the beach?” she says, and I nod, having seen a few of them myself. “I think I’d like to do that someday.”

“What’s the selling point here?” I ask with a frown. “Bali, or driving a motorcycle on the beach?” She laughs.

“Well, it doesn’t have to be Bali, but I think driving on the sand would be pretty spectacular,” she answers.

The waiter passes us, and I ask for the check before turning back to Liv.

“Then let’s do it,” I say, and she smiles.

“Oh, you think we can just leave everything for a few days and fly to Bali?” she asks.

“Nice idea, but no,” I say, “Let’s just head down to the beach and ride the bike.”

“Is that even allowed here?” she whispers while leaning in, as if we’re discussing something illegal.

“It is, as long as we don’t put anyone in danger,” I say, and her face lights up with a smile.

“Chase, you’re the fucking best.”

I can’t help but laugh. It feels good to make her happy, and the thought of cruising down the beach on my bike with her behind me fills me with excitement.

I pay our bill and lead Liv out of the restaurant. As we get to the bike, I hand her her helmet, and she grins at me as she puts it on. We climb on the bike, and I rev the engine, feeling the power of the machine between my legs. We pull out onto the street, and I can feel the wind rush by as we speed toward the beach.

We get down to the shore, my heart racing. The sand is rough beneath the tires, but I steer the bike with confidence, feeling alive and free. I can hear Liv whooping with excitement behind me, so I glance back at her, seeing her with both arms stretched over her head, eyes closed, her hair whipping in the wind under the helmet, and I can’t help but fall for her even more.

We continue to drive down the beach, the wind rushing by and the sound of the waves crashing nearby. It’s a moment of pure joy, and I know I’ll remember this forever.

I come to a stop on a section of the beach where I can lean the bike against a post of a walkway, and Liv jumps off, her eyes sparkling.

“That was amazing!” she exclaims, grinning from ear to ear, and I can’t help but smile back at her.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. I had a great time too,” I say.

With the bike leaning there securely, I sit down in the sand next to it, and Liv does too, putting her helmet in the sand, her finger tracing circles in the grainy surface. I take a deep breath, wanting to ask about her earlier comment.

“You mentioned before that part of my birthday present was you getting some gear. What’s the other part?” I ask, wanting to show interest after my earlier fuckup.

“Oh, it was nothing really,” she says, shrugging. “Just a silly idea, something funny. Don’t worry about it.”

“Now you’ve got me curious. What is it?” I ask.

Liv hesitates for a moment before reaching into her leather jacket and pulling out a small box.

“Okay, but it’s not a big deal. I got you a custom-made keychain for your bike keys,” she says, biting her lip as she hands me the box.

I eagerly open it and find a silver keychain with a rectangle charm that reads ‘Drive home safe to me.’ I’m touched by her thoughtfulness.

“Liv, that’s awesome. Thank you so much,” I say, leaning in to give her a kiss, but she stops me, her eyes shining with amusement.

“Flip it over,” she says.

When I turn the charm, I can’t believe what I see. The contours of the picture I took of Liv’s cleavage a few weeks ago are engraved into the silver, and it looks incredibly sexy. I burst out laughing, and Liv joins in too.

“Consider it a little reminder to drive safely because of what waits for you at home,” she says, blushing.

“You’re incredible, you know that?” I ask, cupping her cheek. She meets my gaze, her expression tender.

“You’re pretty amazing too,” she replies, and I stroke my thumb over her bottom lip.

“Were those all of my presents?” I ask, my voice low and husky. Liv laughs, her eyes dancing.

“Yes, do you want something else?” she asks, and I pull her close, feeling the heat of her body against mine.

“You,” I say simply. “I just want to be with you, right here, right now.”

She grins at me, her arms wrapping around my neck. “That, my dear Chase, I can definitely give you,” she says before kissing my lips.

I’m gentle with her, wanting to convey how much she means to me. Her interest in me and what’s important to me is deeply meaningful. She could have taken the easy road with her gifts, given that we’re both dancers, and it would’ve been effortless to connect over our shared passion. Of course, we did bond over that. However, her willingness to go the extra mile, to learn about my hobbies, purchase gear, and have the courage to try something new, shows me what kind of person she is. She makes me feel special, just as she does with the other guys. I thought it would be difficult to share her time, but it isn’t. She never makes it feel like we’re sharing anything because she’s always present in the moment, making everyone feel important. Having the ability to be so open and loving even after all she’s been through is amazing. I think about how she shared her trauma with us, and how it would only be fair to give her the same trust in return, so I ease away from the kiss.

“The twins told you that we grew up in foster care,” I say, and I can see her mind reeling with the sudden topic change, but she nods.

“So did Jaxon,” she says.

It seems like the guys have already opened up much more to her than I have. It’s time for me to catch up.

“I got there late. Jaxon and the twins spent their whole childhood with the family, but I got there when I was twelve,” I explain, and Liv tilts her head slightly, listening intently to me.

“My parents were killed in a robbery,” I continue, and her eyes fill with sadness. “It was on my twelfth birthday.” I look down at the ground, and Liv takes my hand, squeezing it gently. “I wanted to celebrate in a big way, so we went to a football game before getting dinner at a restaurant we liked. When we were walking home, two men with guns came at us. My dad didn’t want to give them anything, but my mom pleaded with him, so they gave them his money and her purse. The men were obviously on drugs, and instead of just letting us go, they shot them in front of me.”

As I speak, I see something like shock and recognition flicker in Liv’s eyes. Yes, gorgeous, we know the same pain. I feel a sense of comfort in knowing that she understands what I’ve been through. She strokes my hand with hers, looking sad for me, but there’s no pity. I decide to test a theory.

“And that’s why I don’t like the Batman movies,” I say, deadpan, and she looks at me with wide eyes before bursting out laughing, slapping her hand over her mouth in shock.

“Oh my god, I’m going to hell for laughing at this,” she mutters, still giggling. “I’m so sorry.” I can’t help but break into a smile, my serious demeanor crumbling.

“You know, I’ve told that joke to so many people, and they all just give me pitying looks, but you actually laughed,” I say, feeling a sense of relief.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. That was so inappropriate,” she says with a wince.

“No, it’s perfect,” I assure her. “I pity myself enough. I need someone with a dark sense of humor who can help me find light in the darkness.”

“I would love to be that for you,” she says with a smile.

Since we’re already on the topic, I decide to tell Liv about the parts of my past that I’m not particularly proud of.

“After that, I lost my way completely. While I loved the family I found with Jaxon and the twins, I didn’t see a reason to be a good boy anymore. Nobody cared. Our foster family had too many mouths to feed to really care for our mental health, and teachers didn’t give a damn about foster kids, so I slid into some not-so-good groups. I befriended some guys in our local gang because they were breakdancing, and I danced with them every day. They wanted to recruit me for their gang, but I was young and dumb and didn’t see it coming.

“When I turned fifteen, they started to pressure me into swearing in, and I got scared. I tried to avoid them, but it didn’t work. One day, they came to our home, and I told Jaxon everything. He went out with me to talk to them, but they didn’t want to hear it. They told me that they had invested resources, time, and money into my upbringing, mainly because they’d fed me and showed me how to dance. Jaxon told them we would get some money from somewhere to buy me out, but it escalated, and one of them pointed a gun at me.” Liv’s eyes widen, but she doesn’t say anything, so I continue.

“Just as they pulled the trigger, Jaxon pushed me out of the way and took the bullet for me,” I say. Liv sucks in a breath, putting her hand over her mouth.

“He needed surgery, but he recovered relatively quickly. The cops came and handled the gang problem for me because those two went to jail for the incident. I owe Jaxon my life, literally, and I’m determined to repay him for it,” I finish. We sit there in the sand, watching as the sun slowly sets and the wind picks up. I look over at Liv and find she’s already looking at me.

“Thank you for telling me all of this,” she says, and I feel a sense of relief.

There is no judging or digging, just acceptance, which is all I needed. She links her arms through mine and leans her head against my shoulder as we look out to the waves crashing on the shore.

* * *

Liv

We sit there in silence for a while and watch the onset of night with both our knees tucked into our chests, my arm hooked into his as I lean into his side. I sense that he’s lost in thought and grief, so I try to be there for him without saying much. He’s already said everything that needs to be said, and now he just needs to know that he’s not alone in his pain.

A few meters away from us, some teenagers start a bonfire and turn up their music. They’re laughing and being loud, but the sound is pleasant. It’s good to know that they’re enjoying themselves and making the most of their time. As I sit here, I can’t help but wonder what my life would have been like if I had grown up here. Would I have made friends, danced and laughed on the beach, and attended bonfire gatherings? Would I have been a surfer girl instead of a dancer? I bet I would have.

As I sit lost in my thoughts, I hear the music shift from upbeat to slow. A smile spreads across my face as I entertain the idea that perhaps my first kiss would have taken place at a bonfire just like this one, then I recognize the song playing. It’s one of my favorites, “Until I Found You” by Stephen Sanchez.

Chase peels my arm off him with a gentle touch and rises to his feet. I look up at him, furrowing my brows in confusion. Did I upset him? He smiles and extends his hand toward me.

“May I have this dance?” he asks, and I swoon.

“Of course.”

I smile and take his hand, allowing him to pull me to my feet and close to him as we start slow dancing. His left hand rests on my lower back, while his right holds mine. My head is leaning on his chest, tucked in under his chin, as we slowly sway from side to side. I feel the sand slipping beneath our feet, and with the sky growing darker, I can see the stars sparkling over the ocean. My stomach is full of butterflies, and I can hardly believe that this is how we’re ending this day after how horribly it started.

He whispers the lyrics of the song into my hair, and I look up at him. His eyes are as deep blue as the night sky behind his head. We stop dancing, and he cups my head with both hands, gazing into my eyes.

“I never thought I could fall for anyone,” he confesses. “But here I am, falling so hard in love with you, it nearly hurts.”

My breath catches in my throat.

“I love you, Liv,” he says before gently kissing me.

After a minute he pulls back, looking into my eyes, which are now watering with emotion.

“I love you too, Chase,” I whisper, and he pulls me into his chest, holding me tightly as we continue swaying to a few more slow songs.

Eventually, we gather our stuff and prepare to leave. Chase links our pinky fingers and leads me back to his bike.

“Thank you for the best birthday I’ve had in years, gorgeous,” he says.

He places my helmet on my head and plants a gentle kiss on my lips before fastening the chin strap. He then adjusts his own helmet and climbs onto the bike. He helps me up behind him, and I wrap my arms tightly around his waist as we set off back to the guys’ place, relishing the thrill of the ride once more.