Chapter Twenty-Eight

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Gabby

B oth Barrett and I are leaning against the headboard, and I'm playing with an invisible string. Anything to not meet his eyes. I sigh heavily, trying to figure out where to even get started.

"Getting started is the hardest part. Just tell me what your first memory is, whether it be good or bad," he offers, seeming to know I'm having issues trying to figure out how to get all of these thoughts out.

It takes me longer than I want it to, but I finally come up with what I want to tell him. "The first time I made him angry was when I came home from work early and baked him a cake. It was for a promotion he got at work. I hadn't exactly told him I wanted to bake for a living yet, and I was still in the newlywed stage of trying to impress him. I was so proud, always was, of being on his arm, of having his last name, of watching him shine." I stop for a minute to gather my thoughts.

"I can't believe that anyone would get mad at another person for making them a cake. Like I would be so excited." He reaches over, palming my cheek. "You never have to dampen that sparkle for me, Gabby. I love to see it, the way you smile, and the way your eyes light up. It's one of the most beautiful things. He didn't know what he had with you, and I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry..." But I can't finish because my throat tightens with emotions I'm not expecting. "You're right, he didn't deserve me. The thirty-something me knows that, but the younger me still mourns what she lost, and what she had hoped to have. I hinged all my dreams on him, and when that fell apart I wasn't sure what to do. For a couple of days I sat in my disappointment, but then I grabbed that mixer and went looking for a space to rent. He'd given me enough money to live on for a year, it was the bare minimum of what the state would require because of how much more he made than me. When I asked for the divorce, I told him I didn't want anything, but he thought that I was tricking him." I shake my head remembering that fight. "So he gave me the least amount he could, I took it, and ran."

"And knowing you, you didn't look back." He gives me a smile before dropping a kiss on my forehead.

I settle in closer, grinning as I remember those early days. "I wanted to. There was probably one or two times where I did think about going back, but he'd made me feel so small..."

"How? If you don't want to tell me, I understand, but I never wanna be who he was."

I never want people to feel bad for me, or that I'm a victim, but I completely recognize that this is my story and I have to own it. "After I made him that cake, I mentioned that I wanted to do it professionally, even showed him a business plan I did in a college class. I was that excited. He laughed at me." My face burns as I remember that horrible night the two of us had together. "He said that there was no reason for me to try and do anything other than service him and be his arm candy. That he made enough money for the both of us, and my dreams didn't matter the minute we got married. He thought I'd understood that. I was no longer Gabby. I was Gabriella, and I was his wife. There was a way I'd be expected to act."

"What a dick."

I laugh loudly. "Yeah, he was. One other time I tried to get him on board with me baking. He'd asked me to get a meeting catered for him. Instead of spending the money to get it done, I purchased the food, made it, took it there, and set it up. I was so proud of myself, and I thought he'd be proud of me too. That he'd see how much I loved it, that I put so much love into it..."

"But he didn't, did he?" he asks softly. "I'm sorry, Gabs. I'm so proud of you."

Tears fill my eyes, and when I look over at him, I see the man he is. Not the man my ex-husband was. "It was still another year before we got divorced, it took me that long to have enough. But when I had enough, I had it. He did passive aggressive shit, and then turned mean about anything I wanted to do. At that point, I couldn't take it anymore."

"I'm glad he let you go. He didn't know what he had, Gabby, and for that I'm grateful. I will never take you for granted, and I swear I'll make sure you always know how much you're loved, and what an amazing person you are."

I feel it. More than I ever have before, and I'm thankful.

Thankful for the good, the bad, and everything in between. It led me here; maybe not in a straight line, but Barrett and I? We're making it work, and it's everything I've ever wanted.

When I pull up to my parking spot behind Get Baked later on the next morning, I see something that causes me to do a double-take. Someone walking on the sidewalk, who looks like Jeff. I hold my hand to my chest as I watch, hoping to be able to verify if it's really him or not.

But I don't get to. The person hurries to the other side of the square, and when I'm finally able to get out, I can't get a good look at him.

Either way, I don't feel right - not after the emails, the phone call, and now this? I'm worried his planning something and I may not be able to see it coming.