Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

D eclan

I wake from the best dream I've ever had. Only to find it's no dream. Miranda is in my arms, her soft, sexy body pressed up against me. She's wrapped around me with her face buried in my chest.

She wanted to stay—she wanted me. Blood on my hands and soul black from sin. Thank god.

A glance at the clock on the bedside table tells me it's a little after eight in the morning. There is so much I need to get up and do. Most important is the long overdue conversation with James. I'm also sure a phone call from the old men is waiting for me. Not to mention a check-up on the girls to ensure no one wants to leave and, if they understandably did, how to help them find a new place. So many things.

In all the years I've run this, I've never resented the responsibilities I took onand the things I had to do. It was a job that needed to be done. And I did it well .

Right now, I don't give a shit about any of it. All I want to do is stay here with Miranda in my arms. I want to make love to her all damn day until there was no doubt she's pregnant with our first of many children. Except I swear I can hear shit building against that desire.

I'm not wrong, two minutes later my phone is ringing. It's Ronald's ring tone. A curse comes out of me unchecked.

Miranda stiffens, and her eyes are wide with fear. I hate that.

Pressing my lips to her cheek, I pull away. "It's going to be okay. I promise you."

I answer. "Yeah."

"Get your ass down to the pub for a meeting. Now."Ronald is a great-uncle who favored Tommy over me taking over. While he was quiet once I turned business around, often, over the years, he sided with Tommy over me.

Fucking hell.

Soft moss is glued to my every movement. Catching her behind her neck. "There is still a mess I need to clean up. I need Colm. You'll be here when I get back? I want you here with me always. This home is yours now."

Tension in her eases. A hand runs over my cheek as she nods. The lightest tugging of her sexy smile in an almost smile. "It didn't feel like a question. More of a bossy command. And I will. I want to be here. My home is where you are."

I'm a weak man for not being able to let her go. I should be doing anything but pulling her up to my mouth for a kiss that spins out of control. Her arms are around my neck as she crawls into my lap .

Fuck Ronald. Fuck James. Fuck the old men and anything that takes me away from her. I lift her over me. I tear her panties off and put my queen on the throne she deserves—my mouth.

She moans my name, and my cock jumps to be inside her. One night without making love to her was too long. I love how wet she is. Her sweet juice slides down my throat. So fucking delicious. If all I can eat for the rest of my life is her, I'll be a glutton until I die.

I inhale her into my lungs—not wanting to exhale. To keep a part of her inside me always. Her little whimpers are all around me and in time with the trembling of her body.

After I eat her to a second orgasm, her pleas for my cock won't be ignored. I lift her off my mouth then over my hard cock. I'm a bastard for loving how desperate and frantic she is for me to be inside her. The way she begs me to fill her full of come. When she says it, I can't help but wonder if deep down she's aware every time she's asking for the forever of our child.

It's adorable how weak she is from her orgasms yet still works to guide me inside her—into my heaven. We both sigh at the feeling.

Miranda melts onto me, so weak she can't even hold her head up. Wrapping my arms around her, I simply hold her for a long minute—treasuring this feeling.

Except my cock will not be denied. It demands I move inside her. That I fuck her hard and deep until she comes gripping my cock and milking every drop of come.

Wet, so fucking wet she's dripping all the way down my cock onto my body. Her moans are louder than the slapping of our bodies together. I love the way she demands more of me, to fuck her harder, to come inside her .

I give her everything she begs for. It's only minutes before she breaks apart. I fight for air at the way her cunny grips me tight and pulses around me in her orgasm, taking me with her into the waves of pleasure.

" M'fhiorghra," She sighs as a finger traces over the Celtic cross tattoo on my upper arm.

I hadn't even realized I said it until she does.

"What does it mean?"

This time, I don't even consider not telling her. "It means my true love."

Her head comes up. Our eyes meet, and I love the emeralds sparkling in her eyes. " M'fhiorghra."

I nod. "From the moment I laid eyes on you. It took a minute to see it through the haze of lust and desire."

"Thank you for not letting me go."

"There was no choice, m'fhiorghra. My heart can't beat without you."

Lowering her mouth to mine, the words are air against my lips. "I love you, you devil."

Her kiss is pure love.

Long after I should be gone, I give her one last kiss and leave her in bed to sleep off my ravenous fucking as she whispered she loved me again and again.

Colm is waiting at the bottom of the stairs .

"What have you heard?" I ask as I pull out my phone to check my texts. God damn it. Everyone and their mother sent me texts last night and into this morning.

"It's not good, Boss. There's anger about all the deaths so close together. I mean, yeah, shit is bad for you killing Tommy without asking first. But for Coleen, Seamus, and Sara too."

Fuck. "You're coming with me. I need you, and Miranda isn't going anywhere."

Colm sighs. "She's why I have to marry Brenna?"

I give him a glare as we get into the Navigator with him driving me. "You're marrying Brenna because it's past time. Jean isn't coming back. It's been three years."

Hurt, he drops his eyes. "I know she's not coming back. And I don't want her back. But my mam says divorce is a sin. She'll lose it."

"I think the murdering you've done is going to get you to hell before divorcing a lying, cheating bitch. I told you. I'm going to talk to your mother. Take the time to get to know Brenna. She's a good girl. I think she's a better match for you than Jean was."

Ronald is in my office, the only one there.

"You took fucking forever. Where the hell have you been?" He's on me the moment I close the door.

"What does it matter where I've been? I was up until the middle of the fucking night dealing with the problem you created. You and James never checked him the way you should have. My da raised me to have no weaknesses, to put this before myself. I've done that for the last fourteen years. All by myself, dragging you all kicking and screaming behind me. We run into a little trouble with these fucking Serbians, and suddenly, the last fourteen years mean jackshit? Tommy is on you and James and the old men. Don't think I'm going to say sorry for cutting out the rot you let infest this with."

He opens his mouth but closes it and sits down heavily on the chair in front of my desk.

Shaking his head, he sighs. "Blood and death aren't supposed to be in this. It's why we kept it small—less money and havoc meant less death. I know his coke use was getting out of control. He swore he could get it together."

Wiping his face with his hand. "I raised that boy after his da died. He was my own." It's a plea for understanding. "Everyone knew it would be you. Since you were a wee wain. We never thought it would be Tommy, but we forgot to tell him."

"None of that excuses what he did. The mess he left behind is no small matter. His wife and those girls, Liam, and Rhonda. Rhonda, the working girl, had a child. Her mother can't take care of him on her own. Providing for him won't be cheap, but they deserve it."

The text Patrick sent this morning about the baby and grandmother has me wincing. "Some poor kid is childless because we promised his mother we'd keep her safe, and we're the reason she's dead. Because you couldn't control the monster you made. And I had to bring in Clare to keep Liam alive. The last thing we needed is a civilian in this, with a dead father because of me."

He closes his eyes as he nods. "I'm sorry, Declan."

"Don't say you're sorry. Clean up the mess with his family while I go see Rhonda's mother."

Nodding, he leaves.

I ignore the phone ringing on my desk and pull my cell phone. Whoever the hell is calling me can wait. The text from Patrick warned me Rhonda's mom was talking about calling the cops.

"I can't do it." The woman says again.

"Ten thousand a month is as high as I can go," I mutter. I can't believe the woman is serious.

"Mr. Kelly, if you offered me twenty thousand, I still wouldn't do it. I'm not raising any more kids. I told Rhonda before she was murdered. It's why she started working for you. All I was supposed to do was watch him through the night for another week. Five kids, I've had five of them—all of them scattered and left me. I'm done with it all. My ticket has been bought, and I have rented the apartment in Spain already. My arthritis doesn't let me lift him half the time. I'm leaving Chicago in eleven days, and it won't be with him."

The woman thrusts the baby into Colm's arms. Christ, how can a woman be so heartless? He's a tiny thing for a babe that's supposed to be six months old. His eyes are a bright blue, and with dimples in both cheeks and even one in his chin, he's a cute thing. I couldn't imagine anyone not wanting the babe.

She holds out the diaper bag to me. "Take him and be gone. All of you."

Fucking hell. Pulling the wad of cash from my pocket, I hand it to her. It's ten thousand in hundred-dollar bills. "It's the least we can do."

Shaking her head. "I'm not allowing you to buy your loss of shame. If you had done what you told her you would, she'd be here now. Fuck you and your money. "

Before I give in to the anger running through me, I leave. I take the baby from Colm so he can drive.

His phone rings before he can pull into gear. He checks the display. "It's Brenna."

I hold out my hand for his phone. He's surprised but hands it to me. "Brenna, it's Declan. Congratulations. It's a boy. Where are you?"

"I, um…"

"Where are you? Colm and I are bringing you your first child."

Colm's eyes are big as he looks from the baby to me.

"Declan, are you serious?"

"As a fucking heart attack, darlin'. Now for the third fucking time. Where are you?"

"At home." She gives me the address and I give it to Colm.

"We'll be there in fifteen." I end the call and hand Colm back his phone.

"Why—"

I don't give him a chance to ask. "Because I can't take the babe home with me. Miranda is afraid our world is dangerous. I just talked her into staying. The last thing I need to do is show up with a baby whose mother died because we didn't protect her. Brenna said she was looking forward to kiddos. This will give you guys a head start."

From the corner of my eye, I see his mouth open and close as he searched for something he felt brave enough to say to me. He doesn't find anything before we get to Brenna's .

Her place is in a ten-story building with an elevator around the corner from De Paul.

Colm leads the way. I hadn't talked to him about Brenna beyond telling him he was to marry her. He wasn't happy, but he took her number and said he'd call her.

I hand the baby to Colm in the elevator. He takes him with a grimace.

"I don't know anything about babies, Dec," he mutters.

"You'll figure it out. I have every confidence in you." I assure him.

Brenna is waiting with her door open as we step off the elevator. Her eyes are filled with surprise, but she doesn't hesitate to take the baby from Colm.

"You're serious?" She whispers as she holds the baby tight and rocks him.

I nod, taking my wallet from my inner pocket. I pull out one of my credit cards and hand it to her. "His mother was a working girl in the brothel. Tommy killed her. The grandmother doesn't want him, and Rhonda had no idea who the father is. Get everything he'll need for the first year. I'll get with your father to schedule the ceremony as soon as possible. The grandmother is leaving in eleven days. Before she goes, we'll need to have the adoption put through. Or do you want to play it as he's yours? I can get with someone to have papers made up."

She shakes her head. "I don't know. I'm…I don't fucking know."

I look to Colm. "You two figure it out. I'm taking the car. In an hour, get to the pub. By the time you get there, Shannon and Ian will be dead, and I'll need you to run the room for the night."

Miranda

It's a long time after Declan has left before I go downstairs and find Aoife cleaning the kitchen.

"Well, hello there, dear. How are you doing this afternoon? What will you have?"

I blush. "I'm good, thank you. If we still have any of the quiche you made on Sunday, that would be good. Please."

"Coming up, dear. I see Colm's gone. That's good."

Nodding, I sigh as I sit down at the kitchen table. "I just hope this doesn't blow up in my face."

Aoife laughs. "Dear, you are forever looking for problems where there are none. It took Declan time to find you. Now that he has, he'll not be letting you go."

It's embarrassing to blush so much. "That's what he said. He asked me to stay. And I want to. I just hope…"

"This is what you make of it. Declan told me you worried about his safety. And I have to tell you that you have nothing to worry about. All that stuff you see on television is nonsense. While I'm not saying that things don't get violent from time to time—the worst he's come home is with a bit of blood from beating a man for money. If I didn't believe you were safe with Declan, I would never have helped with you. He's a good boy, especially compared to some of those asshole traders you run into. He has to be in order to be a good example to his men." She pats my hand.

I'm reminded of what he said last night. How he hadn't needed to use his gun, or anyone pointed one at him in years. It surprised me then and even more so now. I feared a more violent life than what he described. Last night, I felt like it would be what I was sentencing myself to.

Aoife is adamant that it isn't what I feared. And while I want to believe Declan was honest because he promised to be, I trust Aoife completely. It's a huge relief. Because even if it were unsafe, I wouldn't want to leave. The mere idea of leaving Declan sends a shot of pain through me that makes it hard to breathe.

After I eat, I'm drawn to Aoife making bread. "Since I don't have any work to do, can I learn how to make bread with you? I've always wanted to make my own bread. I tried a few times, and it wouldn't rise."

"Of course, dear. I'd love to show you. You didn't activate your yeast. I'll show you how."

Miranda

I spend the day with Aoife in the kitchen. She shows me how to make bread, and I'm proud of the loaf I pull out of the oven. Then she shows me how to make the dinner we're going to have tonight, a chicken pot pie. I've never made a pie crust before and am shocked by how easy it is.

Aoife shows me the house phone and Declan's phone number in case I need to call him. She said he didn't have time to get my cell phone out of the safe in his office. When she leaves a little after five, I close the door, and the quiet in the house is echoing around me.

I decide to explore the downstairs ofthe house. Opening the back door, I find a large backyard with a partial deck that is an extension of the three-season porch that ran along the back of the kitchen. There's also a carriage house with a locked door. The space is beautiful, with large rose bushes along one side of the six-foot privacy fence. To me, it's sad because it doesn't appear to be used often when it's so inviting.

Back in the house, I go down to the basement and am surprised by how nice it is. It's like its own contained apartment. There's even a bar with a sink, a small fridge, and a microwave. I find the source of Declan's yummy muscles in the kind of home gym I would expect. The room holds a heavy punching bag, a treadmill, a rowing machine, a huge amount of free weights, and a weight machine contraption I've always found daunting. A small clear fridge holds water bottles and protein shakes.

The bathroom between the gym and bedroom is large, with a soaking tub, but the shower isn't as big as the one in Declan's bedroom. The laundry room has a chute from Declan's bedroom—I had no idea how I missed it. I'm guessing it's in the walk-in closet. Huh, I always stuck my clothes in the hamper that's in the massive walk-in closet when I got dressed and undressed.

As I'm walking out of the room, I notice a suit in the large trash. A suit? How bad was it to be thrown in the trash? Declan's suits are all made to fit him and in the area of five grand each. It would have to be bad to simply throw it away. Curious, I pull it out. My stomach sinks—it's covered in blood.

Closing my eyes, I drop the suit back into the trash. Declan used the word shit - soaked . What he meant was blood-soaked. The person who bled all over this suit is dead. They have to be. Did Declan kill them? Has he already killed Ian and Shannon?

The questions haunt me as I make my way back upstairs. Once again, the emptiness of the house is loud all around me .

My father wanted me to trust a capo in the mafia over the police. A person that, in an odd coincidence, the man I'm in love with doesn't simply know—operates his own business within that capo's territory. These men were always here, in the background of the city, I just never saw them. They're here and left alone for the bad guys to police the badder guys. Now that I see them, I can never unsee them. Now the question is: Do I not only see them but live with one?

I walk to the front door and open it. The street is peaceful in the chaos of a city of three million people. A man is walking a tiny chihuahua wearing a pink collar. He waves as he walks by. I lift my hand in answer.

Do I stay or do I go?