Chapter 4

New Jersey has been my home for thirty-one years. I’ve grown up here, gone through school here, lost my parents here, loved here, and had my heart broken here. There isn’t much that I haven’t experienced in this city I love. It’s home. It’s where I’ve always found peace.

There’s no more peace to be had now.

“How do we go about this, William?” I ask out loud as I sit down at my laptop and google, “how to go anonymous.” Different pages come up talking about if it’s wise or not to fake your own death, or how to escape a bad situation. I don’t need a women’s shelter. Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to stop these assholes. I just need to get as far away as I can. I can’t leave the country. Even if my passport wasn’t expired, it would be too easy to track. So, the states it is. Nowhere I can’t drive. America is big enough I should be able to put distance between us and be safe, right?

“This list is stupid,” I grumble, scrolling down the page. “Move to a different apartment? No shit.” I shake my head. “This might be more difficult than I thought, William.”

It takes me hours of scrolling before I find genuinely good information. Move. Don’t use credit cards. Tell no one where you’re going unless you have a trusted person to stay in contact with. Change your phone number and get an extra burner phone for any other calls. Pull your money out of the bank to use cash. All good information.

Within a few hours, I’m working on packing up all my most important possessions. I look over at my bubblegum pink couch forlornly. I can’t take it with me. There’s no way it’ll fit in my tiny purple BMW. I’ll put everything I can’t take with me in storage under my mother’s maiden name. I pack up all my clothing, important papers, William’s vet records, cat food, and anything I can’t live without. All my clothes get thrown into my car. I call my landlord and break my lease early. Luckily, since I’ve been a good renter for the last four years, she lets me break it early without paying. At my frantic tone, she assumes I’m running from some sort of dangerous ex-boyfriend and offers help, but I reassure her that I’ll be fine. By the end of it all, I end up giving her a hug once she comes to collect the keys. She really was a good landlord, never raising rent, never letting repairs go too long. I’m sad to see it all go.

Three days later, I’ve closed out my accounts and pulled all my cash out. I change my phone number and purchase a little prepaid one from the corner store to use for anything important. But the most important part is calling my job. I leave that for last, because I love my job. I don’t want to let it go, but I won’t be able to stay here and it’s not a fully remote position. I won’t be able to even work fully remote because part of it means going into the office. So, with my heart in my throat, I call my direct manager and let her know. She’s confused when I call and I can’t really explain, but she accepts my resignation and tells me good luck in my future endeavors. It hurts far too fucking much. I’d worked so hard to land a job like that and now I have to let it go with no knowledge of when I’ll be able to get another. At least, I have enough savings and money to get me where I need to go. Hopefully.

There are only four more days until the Crows will come to collect by the time I close everything out and I plan to be long gone by then. The day before they’re due to come back, I pack William into his carrier and look around at all the things I’m having to leave behind. The movers will be here in a few hours to pack up what’s left and take it to the storage unit. Mrs. Lancaster, my landlord, will take care of it all. She’s a saint.

“Okay, William,” I sigh. “This is it. You ready for our next adventure?”

He meows in the affirmative from his carrier and I hoist it over my arm. I grab my small houseplant I’ve managed to keep alive and leave my apartment for the last time. William’s carrier goes in the passenger seat and the houseplant in the back. As soon as I’m in the car and my seatbelt is buckled, I unzip William’s carrier so he can look out the windows. He’s harness trained so I’ll be able to walk him at our stops.

Still, I don’t immediately start the car, my hands resting on the steering wheel. My tiny BMW Z4 is hardly big enough to hold my belongings but I’ve packed it as tight as I can. There’s no more room in the back and barely any room in the front. I take one last look around me, taking in the world I know so well. Everything will change now. Once I run, I can’t stop running. My only hope is that I find somewhere obscure enough that they never find me. My best hope is that they don’t bother looking for me at all. I’m not worth much, so it shouldn’t be difficult to give up when they can’t find me after a few weeks. Maybe I’ll even be able to return back home.

I don’t hold out hope for that one though.

My only tie to this world is William. My parents have long since passed. I have no siblings. There’s no one I have true connections to anymore here outside of coworkers. It’s just me and William Shakespurr.

“Alright, buddy,” I breathe, before starting the car and putting it in reverse. “Let’s get out of here before the big bad guys show up and realize what I’m doing.”

I point the nose of the car west and drive.