Chapter 5

SEVEN MONTHS LATER, SPRING 1042, THE NORSEMENT VILLAGE

CHAPTER FIVE

"Bear!"

Dunne froze. Either her daughter had just spotted a bear baiter walk through the village with his animal on a chain, which she doubted, or she had just seen someone who bore the animal's name stand right behind her.

"Bee."

Oh, Lord.

It had to be him. No other adult called her daughter Bee. No one else had this rich, husky voice. No one else could make her shiver with just one word. It was him, she just knew it.

Slowly, she turned in time to see Dawn throw herself into Bj?rn's arms. He lifted her up as easily as if he'd expected the demonstration of affection and was happy to receive it. Her heart flipped over in her chest at the sight of the two them entwined together. For a moment they looked like any father and daughter would.

"I have to go and tell the cousins you're back! They won't believe their eyes!" Dawn exclaimed, wiggling out of Bj?rn's arms. He deposited her on the floor with a slanted smile.

"Run along. I wouldn't want anyone other than you to announce my return to the village."

All too soon, they were alone.

For a moment, they stared at each other. Dunne could barely believe her eyes, as Dawn had just said. After months away from her, Bj?rn was back. And he looked different. Was it the beard? Was it the braids? Was it the newfound assurance? She didn't know. Or perhaps she didn't remember him properly. Had he always been so tall? He seemed to tower over her, which she did not remember. Had he always been so muscular? His chest seemed impossibly broad, even more chiseled than before. Dear. She had been struck by his beauty in the autumn, she was now overwhelmed by his masculine presence. And they had not even exchanged a single word. What would it be when he started teasing her, as she expected him to do?

"What are you doing here?" she asked eventually.

He arched a brow, as if the question was unwarranted. Or perhaps he had taken exception to the accusation in her tone. After all, she had not even greeted him before launching it.

"I live here, in case you'd forgotten," he said, tilting his head. "I think I should ask you what you are doing here."

She flushed. Her first words to him and she was already making a fool of herself. Indeed, why wouldn't he be here? Unlike her, the village was his home. "I heard you'd left for Denmark, is what I mean."

The blow had been as hard to deal with as it had been sudden. When Dawn had told her Bj?rn had given her a cat because he was leaving, she had refused to believe it. Her daughter must have misunderstood, and he had most likely only gone to town for the day. But later that evening Ingrid had told Frigyth and Sigurd her brother had gone to Denmark and there had been no choice but to accept that he had really left.

Left without warning or even saying goodbye.

She had berated herself for the pain she had felt at the notion because after all, why should he warn her of his intent or tell her goodbye? She was nothing to him, and he had embarrassed himself in front of her more than once. He was probably glad to see the back of her. No, in the circumstances she should not have expected anything from him.

But she had been hurt all the same.

"I did leave for Denmark. But I always intended to come back. Now will you answer me? Why are you still here?"

Dunne refused to think she had delayed her leaving because she had known Bj?rn would return eventually, and she had waited for him. Besides, it was not just that. She felt good here in the Norsemen village, amongst people who didn't judge her. For the first time in her life, she was free and there had been no reason to put an end to a situation that suited her.

She shrugged, deciding to be honest. "I see no reason to rush, since I am not accountable to anyone for my actions. And Dawn seems to like it here. She spends her days with her cousins, running around like a…"

"Like a bee?" Bj?rn supplied when she faltered.

She could not help a smile. "Bees do not run, you know."

He smiled back. "No. All the same, I think you'll agree it's an apt image."

"It is."

That was what she had missed, she realized when he laughed, this inexplicable bond between them. The man was breathtakingly handsome, but he was first and foremost easy to be with. He rubbed at his chest absentmindedly, as if to scratch an insect bite hidden under his clothes. She found herself mesmerized by the movement. Dear God, he had grown stronger.

And she even more besotted.

Oh, this was not good.

By the gods, he had missed her!

For seven long months Bj?rn had done his best to forget the beautiful Saxon and he had almost convinced himself he had succeeded. He should have known he was only fooling himself. If three years had not been enough to take out of his mind a woman he didn't know, how had he hoped to forget in a few months someone he had become friends with, someone he had seen all but naked? He was no impressionable youth anymore, but a man who knew it was not every day you met someone like Dunne. She made him hard and she made him melt at the same time.

While they were alone and he had the chance, there was something he needed to ask, something he had tortured himself over more times than he cared to remember during his time in Denmark.

"Did you come to an agreement with Leodred in the end?" he asked, running a hand along his jaw. It still felt odd to have a beard. Odd but good. It gave him confidence, a confidence he had not had before, especially in front of Dunne. It seemed to give him the legitimacy to address her as an equal.

"Yes. I went to see him about a month after our first visit."

"Alone?" The idea of her facing the man who had looked at her as a dog would look at his next meal made his blood boil.

She flushed, proving she had understood what he was getting at. "No. Wolf accompanied me. He had business in town that day, so I took the opportunity to go with him. I also…" The color in her cheeks reached all the way down her neck when she stopped.

"What did you do?"

"I placed some padding under my gown, to make it appear as if I was beginning to show. You know, just in case he started asking questions. I thought I might as well go along with the lie you told."

Yes…The lie that she had been carrying his babe. The idea of seeing her swelling with his child was enough to bring Bj?rn to his knees. Because that would mean he had finally been allowed to do what he was dying to do and take her to bed.

No! He could not afford to weaken now, moments after he'd come back! He'd left precisely because he'd made a fool of himself where this woman was concerned. He would not make the same mistake on the day of his arrival. He would not start thinking of her writhing under him, he would not get hard!

"Did he bother you?" he asked, focusing on the topic at hand.

"No. Your stratagem worked. All through our discussion I could see him eyeing up my stomach with—" She flushed and he understood what she had not said out of consideration for him. Leodred had looked at her with revulsion. The man had thought he'd almost been saddled with a Norseman's bastard, a child that was half savage. "In the end we agreed on a compromise. He bought the hut from me for a reasonable sum."

Reasonable. No doubt she meant pitiful. Bj?rn's nostrils flared. "You mean that you offered him a lowered price because he made you feel guilty about owning the hut?" Surely she knew the scoundrel was lying about Toland's supposed gift to him? She could and should have sold the house at a better price.

Dunne shrugged. It was clear she was not interested in justice as long as she was rid of the man. "He could well be telling the truth about Toland gifting him the hut. It would not surprise me in the least. It matters not anyway. I don't want to see it ever again, so he's welcome to it."

"Did you get your possessions back at least?"

"Yes. Sigurd borrowed the smithy's cart one day and came with me to get what little I actually wanted. I left the rest for Leodred." She shook her head. "I hated living there, and don't want anything to remind me of that time. I just want a fresh start."

His chest squeezed. He'd guessed by now that her marriage had been an unhappy one, but it gutted him to see how badly her husband had hurt her. Every time something or someone reminded her of him, she seemed to grow smaller, and the look in her eyes hardened. He would have to find out what had happened exactly. Perhaps he would ask Sigurd, who'd known the man.

Bee chose that moment to reappear and take him by the hand.

"Come, you have to see Hilda."

"Who is that?" He didn't know anyone by that name. But then again, he had been gone for months. New people could have settled in the village in the meantime. "A friend of yours?"

"No, silly!" A giggle left her throat. "The kitten you gave me. Well, she's not a kitten anymore. She's a big girl, like me."

In turn, Bj?rn laughed. A big girl indeed! Bee was as fragile as a sparrow and utterly adorable. "And you gave her a person's name? When you prefer to be called by an animal name?"

"Yes." Bee was looking at him as if he were daft for not seeing the logic behind it. Perhaps he was, because he could not. "The only problem is, we think she's deaf," the little girl continued, looking crestfallen.

"Mm, she probably is. White cats with blue eyes often are, you know. It's not such a problem, as long as you love her."

The joy on her face, obstructed for a just a moment, returned. "I do love her! Come now, you must meet her."

With an apologetic glance at Dunne, he followed the little girl.

"Bj?rn is back," Sigurd announced that night while they all sat at the table to eat.

Dunne stayed silent because she knew that already. In fact, she had spent the whole afternoon mulling over what his return would mean for her. It might well mean she would have to leave, because it had not taken her long to see that her feelings for him were not what they should be. But alas she would never be able to act on them. Nothing had changed over the winter. Bj?rn was still the last man she should get involved with, and she was still determined to live her life on her own terms. She could not afford to have someone unsuitable put ideas into her head that would only end up causing her confusion and pain in the long term.

Sigurd sat down next to his wife. "I'll admit I won't mind not having to go to town to get my ale."

Frigyth let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, I just can't make anything that is beyond palatable, no matter how much I try."

"It's a good thing I didn't marry you for your ale-making skills then."

"Dare I ask why you?—"

"No, you may not, wife, not while there are children present."

"What is the problem with children exactly?" Elwyn piped, quickly followed by his two brothers, Eirik and Little Halfdan, whom everyone called Moon. Dawn added her voice to the chorus of protests and soon a happy chaos reigned in the hut.

Dunne barely listened to the boisterous exchange. Bj?rn was back. The three words drummed in her skull. What would she do now? She had no idea and she dreaded having to come up with an answer.

For months she had tried to persuade herself that the odd despondency tainting her days wasn't due to his absence. After all, they barely knew each other. But now that he was back and life had flowed back into her veins, she knew the truth for what it was.

She had missed him, in imperceptible ways.

When she had been forced to drink anything other than his wonderful, floral ale, she had bemoaned the change, every time the little white cat nestled itself on her lap, she felt gratitude to him for having gifted Dawn with her dream companion, whenever she greeted Ingrid, she thought back to the day she had repaired his shirt. The need for him had been constant, if fleeting. But in the same way a knife slash on its trunk poses no threat to a tree, the repetition of such little cuts cannot fail to compromise its integrity after a while. Each little nick whittled her soul a little bit more and after seven months of such treatment, it felt as if it had sustained significant damage, enough to make her dissatisfied with her life in a moment when she should have been unquestionably happy.

The day Frigyth had announced she was with child for the fourth time, Dunne had refused to let jealousy pierce through her. She never wanted to be married again, she'd had to remind herself sternly. For years she'd wanted to be free, and she now was. If that meant never bearing another child, then so be it. It was her decision and she was happy with it. Besides, her life was perfect as it was. She had been reunited with her sister, she was rid of Toland, and her daughter was thriving. Yes, she was happy, of course she was. She simply had not expected she would have to constantly remind herself of the fact.

"Dunne? Do you want more?"

Shaken out of her thoughts Dunne looked up at Frigyth, who was watching her with an arched brow. She noticed only then that the children had finished eating and left the hut.

"More?" she asked in a rasp. Yes, she did want more of the Norseman she had not managed to forget in seven long months. "More what?"

"Stew, silly." Frigyth laughed. "Where have you been? You look miles away."

"Oh, I…Yes. More stew would be lovely."

"I'll get this. You stay where you are, Birdie."

Sigurd kissed his wife's temple before standing up to go replenish the bowls. Frigyth smiled her thanks and placed a hand over her swollen stomach. She was now over seven months gone, and blooming. Dunne quickly repressed the pang of envy before it could twist her gut, another habit she had accustomed herself to these last few months. Perhaps she should leave the village, regardless of Bj?rn's return. As much as she loved her sister and her brother-in-law, it was hard to have to witness their love day after day. Perhaps if she didn't have to constantly see what she could have she would not need to keep reminding herself about the happiness she already had.

"Do you know?" Sigurd said as he placed the filled bowls on the table. "Bj?rn learned to speak Norse properly while he was in Denmark. He actually sounds quite good, as if he'd been born there."

Oh, was he trying to kill her?

She didn't need more reasons to be attracted to the Norseman! But if he now spoke Norse, he would not only look good enough to eat, he would also sound like one of his deities descended from the skies to strike mere mortals mute with awe. There was something intensely erotic in the rasping sounds of the Norse language, and she couldn't imagine what it would do to her to hear Bj?rn speak it. It was bad enough when he spoke her language.

"If we'd known he would go to Denmark, we could have asked him to check on Rune and Eowyn while he was there," she heard Frigyth say. "Pity, but there was no helping it. He gave us no warning."

"Yes. I was surprised by his sudden departure," Sigurd replied, sitting next to her. "What could have pushed him to leave so suddenly?"

Dunne knew the answer to that question only too well. Her. She stared at her bowl, her appetite for food quite gone, replaced by a hunger for something—someone—else.

What would she do now?