Blayn

BLAYN

T he bath here is deliciously deep and hot. I might enjoy the ice after a bout in the games but nothing is better than a hot bath. I feel a little regret at the color I leave the water when I heave my soaked wings and my body out.

Today’s bout was particularly messy.

Having spun the water out of my feathers I remember to dress this time too. My little Izzy threw things at me yesterday, so today I make sure my pants are on. I also found a brightly colored scarf discarded in the bathing area and I have the collection of trinkets I collected from the dome’s floor during our games today.

The crowd throws things, some of which get through the forcefield. Given it wasn’t much of a challenge and all I got was covered in guts, it was easy to find the things and conceal them from the clerks in the ante-chamber when I was relieved of my weapon.

Izzy is waiting for me, and she has laid out a feast fit for a hungry Gryn. I forget myself, heading for the food and consuming as much as I can, as quickly as I can. It’s only when I raise my head from the platters I realize she’s moved to the seat she took last time.

And I haven’t placed the items I have for her where she is seated. A growl rises within me, guttural and deep.

“Are you…okay?” she asks, attempting to keep the tremble from her voice.

“Not right,” I say, attempting to grasp at the emotion which seems irritatingly out of reach.

It’s dogged me since yesterday. I couldn’t sleep because of it, but at least it kept the dark and the light mostly out of my head. Except now I’m here, with her, I want to know what it is.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure I can make it right,” Izzy says. “Tell me.”

She leans forward, and I’m hit with a wave of scent which sends me reeling.

“ Eregri .” The word rolls off my tongue, under my breath.

A word I’ve never heard, never used. A word I have to use in her presence.

“I don’t know what that is, but if you need it, I’m sure Madame can get it for you,” Izzy says.

I place the ribbon and the trinkets on the couch next to me. They are not enough. They need to be arranged, but they are not enough. I want to pull out my feathers because they are hot and itchy and because I need to make this place nice for her, my tiny female.

Izzy looks at me and smiles. My entire body heats up. My cocks ache, straining in my pants. I don’t want her to touch me but…

I don’t smile back. I don’t understand this, who I am, what is going on. I’m used to the war between the light and the dark. The constant pain which grinds into my soul. The hollow inside me where I should remember but I don’t.

I can’t let this happen. The external pain is what keeps me going—it’s what I’m here for. Letting something as soft and gentle as Izzy into my life…it’s an unknown. What if she does touch me? What if I like it? What happens with the dark and the light?

Flicking the trinkets and the ribbon to one side, I settle back on the couch to stare at her.

“Do you want anything else to eat?” she asks me.

I shake my head and heave out a breath. How am I going to manage another two nova-hours? My cocks are already so painful all I want to do is strip off my pants, which I would if I was back in my cell.

“Full.” I pat my stomach. “You eat,” I suggest instead, even though the thought of watching her eat makes my cocks wet the fabric of my pants.

This is going from bad to worse.

I’d almost rather be in the dome in the beast fights. Almost.

“I ate earlier,” Izzy says, and I can’t stop looking at her mouth. “Most of this is a bit too rich for me.”

My head spins. I want to know everything about her. Except my tongue is tied in a knot, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot speak.

Izzy’s eyes are wide, looking down at the couch I’m sitting on. For a moment I wonder if she’s noticed how much trouble is going on in my pants, but when I look down, I see I’ve dug my claws into the soft fabric, and when I hastily withdraw them, I leave gaping holes.

“I…can pay…?” I suggest, not actually knowing whether I can or not.

I’ve no idea how to access the credits I might have earned, and on the limited occasions I have a pass to leave the dome, I get a tattoo because the pain searing my skin calms me. Gladiators always get free drink and occasionally food. Or at least, I’ve never paid for any.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Izzy says with a nervous smile. “But if there’s anything I can do to help you relax…”

She is trying to make herself look as small as possible. If anything, she’s farther away from me than she was while I ate.

I don’t like it. My eregri should not be afraid of me. I would kill to protect her.

“Don’t…touch.” The words come out through gritted teeth because I don’t want her to touch me, and I want her to touch me.

“Not touching, .” She holds her hands up, showing them to me. “But you do understand why you’re here, don’t you?”

“I understand. It doesn’t mean I have to comply,” I growl. “What the procurator wants is not what he gets.”

“And if you weren’t being forced to be here, what would you do?” Izzy asks.

“I’d be ripping out innards in the dome.” I grin. “I’m good at that.”