Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

"There was excitement in the commissary today," Palinna said, eyes glowing. Her current work assignment was assisting Sandara the chef and learning about the operation of the huge facility. Sandara would be relocating to the South Seas when the war was over and her actual assistant was going to need help, hence Palinna's presence as an intern. "Your man was involved."

Raeblin's attention was firmly caught. "What happened?"

"One of the South Seas guys made a derogatory remark about a human being in the packs now and about how we Daughters weren't real Badari." She waved her hand. "Something to that effect anyway. I got the details third hand. But Brent got right up in his face and challenged him to a fight over it. Mateer and Ivokk had to come in and break the confrontation up. I heard the South Seas soldier involved got harshly disciplined by Daegan, their Alpha."

She wasn't surprised it had been a man from the south who'd started the trouble. "Who was it?"

"Balkor. Do you know him?"

"I met him once or twice. He tried a few moves when I was swimming with the pack in the lake," Raeblin said. "He's one of Daegan's malcontents. Not all the men wanted to be forced into a formal pack, with the blood oath and then relocated up here to fight the war, you know." She was warmed by the knowledge Brent had stood up for her and the other Daughters and wished she'd been there to see it.

"Are you coming to the social event tomorrow night?" Palinna asked. She rushed on before Raeblin could answer. "I know Brent is planning to attend. I heard one of the human women ask him to go with her, before all the excitement went down." She raised her eyebrows meaningfully. "He said he might see her there but he didn't sound enthusiastic. We're all going of course, since Aydarr insists we attend a minimum number of these events. Come with us—you haven't had any fun in a long time and I'm sure your mission was stressful.."

What a massive understatement. Raeblin didn't want to hurt her sister's feelings as Palinna probably couldn't begin to imagine the nature of the experiences she'd gone through during her absence. Keeping her voice mild, she said, "I'll think about it."

Her answer, so similar to Brent's, satisfied her sister and Palinna left Raeblin's room, no doubt to go spread her gossip elsewhere in the small pack of women. Raeblin looked at her handheld as she'd done innumerable times since arriving back in the valley. The short text from Brent had meant so much to her but she kept hoping he'd send another or come to see her in the Daughters' residence. She'd broken down on the flyer, sheer relief at being safe and seeing her Alpha Keshara overwhelming her, and there'd been no chance to even speak to Brent during the flight or once they'd landed.

Gabe had whisked him away to meet with Aydarr.

Of course she could go see him, or initiate another text but her pride kept her from doing either. She wasn't the one with a problem—he was the one who didn't want to be mated. Raeblin and her inner predator wanted him to make the first move, to soothe her wounded heart and maybe work on their relationship. The longer they went without contact the more chances her stubborn soldier would talk himself into rejecting their unsealed bond.

Keshara had shared with her how Gabe had refused her first overture about becoming claimed mates too, which surprised Raeblin no end. The two were so in love and so firmly bonded. But his reasons had been different than Brent's, focusing more on the fact Keshara at that point hadn't even met any Badari men and Gabe believed to be honorable he needed to hold off and wait before allowing her to claim him. Of course his noble resolve hadn't lasted long in the dangerous, chaotic situation at the lab, not with the events they'd lived through before they escaped.

"Life is too short," Raeblin said out loud now, in the privacy of her rooms. "We shouldn't waste any time or we may never have each other as mates." But the decision was Brent's to make and she had her pride. She wasn't going to beg. She checked her handheld again although the device would have chimed if there had been a new message. Tossing it aside with a curse, she decided to take a shower and try to calm her emotions.

Next day she was on the job at the hospital, hurrying around a corner to get to her next patient when she slammed into someone going the other direction and nearly fell, except for the quick reflexes of the man she'd collided with.

Brent.

Her heart sped up and she took a deep breath of his scent as he picked up the medkit she'd dropped and handed it to her. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I got orders to led Dr. Garrison and Healer Timtur do their worst to me today," he said with a rueful grin. "They wanted to check the status on the transfusion, make sure the Badari cells have taken over. I'd hate for Aydarr to have to kick me out of the pack if I reverted to human."

"He wouldn't do that," she said before she realized he was teasing her. "I do know the medical team here follows up on all the transfusion recipients. And are you—is the transfusion—" Raeblin stumbled to a halt, not sure what she wanted to ask.

"I'm fine," he said. "Better than fine in fact. Been working out on the obstacle courses, set a personal best record time. You gave me a lot of new capability to work with, sweetheart."

"It must be strange to be in his pack now," she said. "I'm sorry—I didn't expect that to happen."

He touched her arm gently and the skin to skin contact made her shiver. "Hey, it's all good. I'm alive, thanks to you. All this other stuff is gravy and the hassles aren't that big. I'll deal. You've got big circles under your eyes and you're pale—why are you back to work so soon? Are you okay? Are you having side effects from giving me blood?"

The caring and concern on his face and his questions about her wellbeing nearly brought her to her knees. Raeblin ran her hand through her hair and couldn't meet his eyes. "I uh I'm not sleeping well."

Brent drew her out of the hall into an empty exam room and took her into his arms. "More of those nightmares?"

She nodded, embarrassed, hiding her face against him. "I'm tough—I'm a Badari. I shouldn't be having these flashbacks and problems."

One finger under her chin, he tilted her face up and stared into her eyes. "You're no different than any of the rest of us. You went through a major trauma, several of them in fact, and it takes a while for the mind to deal with all of it. You talk to your Alpha? Or the healers?"

Raeblin shook her head. "I did the mandatory debrief and Keshara and I talked about what happened to some extent but not the nightmares."

"Sweetheart, even the strongest soldiers get PTSD. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"You don't," she said.

He took a deep breath. "Yeah, I do. I've seen and done a lot of bad shit over the years, but the worst thing I've ever gone through was lying there while those three Khagrish bastards were getting ready to put their hands on you. I get flashbacks, nightmares where I'm not fast enough to?—"

Shocked, she kissed him. "But you were fast enough, you did save me. I'm fine, thanks to you. Don't beat yourself up over it."

Brent gathered her even more closely against his body and kissed her. The caress became intense, their tongues exploring each other's mouths with passion, his arousal pressing against her stomach through their clothes, and Raeblin was tempted to lock the door and draw him to the empty bed to soothe the ache at her core and in her heart. The sound of heavy footsteps passing by in the hall recalled her to her senses and they broke apart.

"I'd better go," she said, flustered and frustrated. "I'm on duty and I have a patient waiting."

"I missed you," he said. Catching her by the wrist, he added, "You get any more nightmares, you can call me. I'll come any time of the day or night."

"To the Daughters' residence?" she said with open surprise.

"Anywhere you need me to be." His voice was firm.

Raeblin tried to capture a mental picture of how he looked in the moment, so concerned about her and so handsome. "I'll go out first," she said, moving to the door. "Wait a few minutes and then you can go, okay? I'd hate for anyone to report me for being unprofessional. Dr. Garrison runs a tight ship here."

"Whatever you need from me," he repeated.

She fled, wanting to feel encouraged by the encounter and his words and actions, but nice as the interaction had been, he was obviously a long way from wanting to be claimed as a mate.

Reluctantly she tagged along to the social event with her sisters. True the Supreme Alpha mandated all Badari had to attend a certain number of these to help with creating a cohesive community in the valley, but she knew he'd have been fine if she'd stayed in her room this time. Everyone was well aware she'd been on a rough mission. That fact alone was a big motivator in getting herself out the door and to the grassy square near the human residence caves. She didn't want people pitying her or thinking her less than any other soldier or Badari. Although the humans were probably unaware of her mate issues, for sure all the Badari had the knowledge and her pride wouldn't let her hide.

Even if Brent was here with a human woman.

Palinna had said he'd refused the woman's specific invitation which didn't mean he wouldn't meet her here or flirt with other humans.

Raeblin braced herself and her inner beast for the strong possibility their hearts would get shredded tonight. She didn't think Brent would intentionally hurt her but what better way for a man to show he wasn't interested in being a mate than to openly pay attention to other women in her presence? And when the ordeal is over, then we'll go home and hide she promised her predator.

There was loud music, food supplied by the commissary, rationed feelgoods for the humans, and a crowd of people already having a good time when Raeblin and her pack arrived. The Daughters went as a group to greet Aydarr and Jill and then separated to pursue their own interests. Raeblin tried to stick to Palinna until her sister agreed to dance with one of the South Seas soldiers. The men from the south were among the few Badari who could ‘do casual', although not all of them were so inclined. In hopes of avoiding any invitations from others to dance and seeing Balkor at the edge of the crowd, Raeblin located the refreshment area and got a cold juice drink. She retreated to the ad hoc playing field the organizers of tonight's event had set up and tried to pretend interest in a rowdy ball game two mixed teams of humans and Badari were playing.

She caught Brent's seductive scent right before he sat next to her. Her entire body tightened as all her nerves sparked.

"Hey," he said. "I'm glad to see you here."

With a shrug, she turned her attention to the game. "You know Aydarr's orders—show up, mingle, let the humans become more comfortable with us." She cut herself off sharply, remembering the other part of the Supreme Alpha's agenda was for his men to find mates among the humans. She didn't know if Brent was aware of the edict but the topic of mates wasn't a good one right now, she was sure.

They watched a few plays and then Brent said, "Want to go for a walk?"

The idea was immensely appealing so she stood and held out her hand. He clasped it tight and together they made their way out of the sports area and escaped into the nearby forest. "There's a pretty path around the lake," he said. "And before you jump to conclusions, I've never taken anyone there before. I discovered it on one of my morning runs."

Nettled by his assumption she'd infer he took many women to the scenic spot, Raeblin said, "The valley is open to everyone."

"Except for all the parts that aren't." Brent chuckled. "The Badari have marked a lot of it out of bounds for humans, you know."

Raeblin didn't have an answer so they strolled in silence, Brent matching his pace to hers. The path he led her to was lovely, skirting the lake, which appeared silver touched in the moonlight. She was happy to be with him, her beast content as well, but she wondered what he had in mind. Eventually they reached an overlook, with a view along the entire lake, toward the massive falls at the end, and a big fallen log served as a bench. Brent drew her to the informal bench and pulled her onto his lap for a kiss.

Raeblin melted into him despite her fears about never becoming mates. He was irresistible to her, especially in this peaceful, romantic setting. She stayed close when the kiss ended, Brent rubbing his hand on her back gently. "Once I found this place, I've visited fairly often," he said. "It's a good spot for reflection. No one bothers me because it's farther than most of the humans want to walk and the Badari prefer the trails deeper in the forest."

"Better hunting," she said.

"I suppose. I have to say your blood hasn't made me into a fearsome hunter. Or not yet. I have zero desire to go off into the trees and track down furry beasts for Sandara's stewpots."

Raeblin rested her hand over his heart. "You don't have a predator twined into your DNA, like us."

"Do you mind?" His voice was serious and a bit tense.

"Of course not. Why do you ask?"

"I've been trying to figure this whole thing out—us, the mating issue—you know, why do we fit together? What would make us the perfect mates for the rest of our lives and beyond?"

She was flattered and terrified to hear he'd been thinking about it so much. Raeblin knew once Brent decided, there'd be no going back, no appeal. If he didn't choose her now, there'd never be a bond. He'd make it so they never even saw each other and the packs would help him. Her Badari sisters and cousins wouldn't want her hurt, forced to encounter a fated mate who'd refused her. She realized Brent was waiting for an answer and hastened to give the standard reply, "Only the Great Mother knows why she brings two people together but then it's up to the couple. Well, really it's up to the human involved."

His laugh sounded bitter and he cut it off abruptly. "Or the former human."

"Is it so hard being in the pack?"

"Reminds me of the military, with added complications like blood oaths and the fact every man around me is bigger, stronger and has claws and fangs. I'll deal with it. Being the runt of the litter means I'm underestimated which means I have an advantage." He glanced at her and seemed to understand she was unhappy about his situation and feared his blame. "Hey, none of the pack business has anything to do with you, or with us. It's an unintended consequence of your choice to save me. I'd rather be dealing with Aydarr and his guys than be dead, believe me. Most of them know me and we have mutual respect."

"I heard what you did at the commissary yesterday, defending my honor," she said in the silence which followed his comment. "Thank you."

"The guy is a jerk," he said. "I wasn't about to let his nasty remarks stand, not about you or me." With a grin, he added, "I figured someone would call in the enforcers to put a stop to it before things went too far. And I had backup, Camron, Jadrian, Yonn, others."

"Yonn?"

"Kid's growing up fast. He likes you." Brent heaved a big sigh. "The thing is, like I told you at the Wanderer's cliff house, I grew up hard and my parents were no one's poster couple for how to create a lasting relationship. I've never had one. You mean too much to me to agree to claiming and then I screw it up down the line. I have to be sure of myself. This isn't about you—you're important to me, more than any woman I ever met before—but I can't rush into this. Can you give me time, Raeblin? Could we maybe date like this for a little while? Get to know each other better? I know it isn't the Badari way?—"

She pushed herself off his lap and walked to the water's edge to give herself time to think. Why did the Great Mother cause it to be this way, so difficult? Why couldn't the human know the truth about the relationship as soon as the Badari did? Her pride was hurt at him wanting more time to think—every one of her people in the valley would know she was unclaimed and probably think less of her. Balkor's comments in the commissary yesterday would be just the beginning. Raeblin wished she was anywhere else right now but unfortunately teleportation wasn't a Badari ability. "I don't have any choice in this, do I?"

He joined her, putting his arm around her shoulders and hugging her close. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but all this hit me out of nowhere and I nearly died and now I'm in the pack and my head is spinning. I can't even get drunk anymore because your damn blood cells don't like feelgoods."

She assumed he was trying to be funny with his last complaint but Raeblin had had enough. When she set out on the walk her hopes had been too high, thinking maybe they'd end up at his residence and make love, or even out here on the deserted trail. "I'm going back," she said, having made a sudden decision to end her pain for this evening and get herself out of the situation. Pulling herself away from Brent, she headed out on the trail, suiting action to words. Eventually she heard him following her at a distance but he didn't speak and neither did she. Once she reached the turnoff to go to the Daughters' residence, she paused until he caught up.

"I hurt you, didn't I?" he asked, kissing her forehead. "Not my intention, I swear. Humans and Badari are two different species and we have to process things differently. Are we okay for now?"

Unable to trust herself not to burst into tears if she tried to speak, she nodded and stepped away, reaching deep to find her voice and keep it steady. "Goodnight, goddess keep you."

"And you."