Chapter 17

T he AC rattled loudly as it came on, filling the apartment with the slight mechanical odor it always had when it switched on. Behind Ruth, the kettle went off with a long beep, and Earl perked up at the sound, ears up, slinking into the kitchen. The apartment felt… small, all of a sudden.

"Gone?" I said, quietly, my voice shaky. "What's—what do you mean, it's gone, like—like someone just came in and stole it?"

"Liquidated. All the assets, handed over to the creditors. Books cleared. María declared bankruptcy."

"She… didn't," I said, holding onto the doorhandle, stabilizing myself. Something tasted metallic. "What the fuck do you mean, bankruptcy? While I was giving a presentation at the conference she sent me to?"

"Like I didn't tell you it was fucking weird?" She stood up straighter, eyes flaring up. "The double-crossing bitch sold you out, and she did it in broad daylight, because she knew you'd never dare put up a fuss when it's dear precious—"

"Shut up," I breathed, voice wobbling. My head hurt like I had a motherfucker of a hangover. The room was pitching to one side, and a sharp pain pressed into the side of my skull like a pinprick. "Shut up. She didn't sell off Queen Pearl in a fucking hour. Just get the fuck out and let me get some sleep before I—"

Ruth's expression changed, and she came around the table, eyes softening, pity there, sympathy there—god, no, not that. She put a hand on my arm. "Shit, I'm sorry," she said. "I can't be yelling at you right now. Christ, woman. Sit down. I'm making you some tea, okay?"

"I don't want tea."

"Sit your ass down before you pass out and hit your head."

Not like I could stay standing if I wanted to. I lurched and fell into the couch, breathing hard, and I strained my eyes, trying to make the blurry shapes come together. Earl jumped up onto the couch with me, sensing the shift in the situation, and he nestled gently into my side. Tears bit my eyes. If fucking Earl could tell the situation was serious, then this was actually happening.

Ruth set down tea for me. Guess it didn't matter if I wanted the damn tea or not. She sat next to me, her hand on my knee. I tasted bile.

"Why would she send me," I said, the words falling out of my lips in a breath—not even a question, just a gasp.

"Hell if I know. Because you'd stop her?"

"God dammit, Ruth." I picked up the tea, sipping at it. The heat burned away the haze in my head. Turned out I did want the tea. How embarrassing.

"We're going to work this out, okay?"

"I'm not working shit out, Ruth," I said, my voice streaked with tears, cracking at the edges. " Dammit. We were so damn close. Cameron…"

"Cameron's account wouldn't have been enough anyway."

"Why did María go through so much trouble?" I gasped. "For Cameron… to get her on with us…"

"I don't know. That's not important right now. What's important is that you'll be all right."

"Fuck I'll be all right, Ruth, I'm getting kicked out of the damn apartment," I snapped. "All because—just because—" I stood up, the haze in my head coalescing into red-hot. "Fucking Miguel on my case. That's what it is. The little rat—working for a competitor, trying to get rid of me, trying to convince me not to attend a conference, wanting to get in the way of the Cameron account. Dammit. He probably got a hefty payout for making Queen Pearl disappear."

Ruth stood with me and guided me back into a seat, moving me to take another sip. I choked back tea, just needing hydration. I hadn't been properly hydrating at the conference—my throat hurt, my eyes dry. "I wouldn't be surprised, but we'll find him and gut him another time, okay?"

"My things." My voice was hoarse. "That plaque was sixty million dollars."

"Oh, Jesus, she's losing it."

I laughed, streaked with tears. "Shit, I'm going to have to get a contractor's help to even get into the building and grab my stuff out of my office. Wasn't doing it once enough? Fucking Castleton all over again."

"We'll figure that out tomorrow, okay?"

"Tomorrow." I let out a shaky sigh. "At least I don't have to worry about the pigeon smear. Fuck, Ruth. What is it about me?"

"I'm staying here with you until the morning, all right?"

Something about the comment snapped me back to reality—the practicality of the situation, Ruth here in my apartment. I sucked in a sharp breath, the room coming back into focus, and I took another sip of my tea before I set it down, turning to Ruth.

"Thank you… but I think I need to be alone."

She furrowed her brow. "London, please don't tell me you're about to do something stupid."

I looked away. "I don't like crying in front of other people."

Her expression softened, and she put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm here for you, anytime. Even if I'm not here, you just call me and let me know, and I swear I'll come running. It's a promise, all right?"

"Yeah. I know." I swallowed. "I know. Ruth, I… thank you."

But she'd barely shut the door behind her, after checking a few more times with me and making sure I had food on the table for whenever I was able to eat, before I did something stupid.

I called Miguel. The phone rang twice before he picked up.

"Now she comes crying to me," he muttered. It was the last fucking thing I needed to hear right now. I flew to my feet, seeing red, and Earl took off running.

"Crying? Crying? Oh, you fucking wish, Miguel. How long was this your plan? How long were you waiting to—"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"What the fuck do you think I'm talking about, Miguel? " My voice felt like it was about to tear my throat open, like it would burst outward and shake the windows. "You burned down Queen Pearl all for the sake of that fucking realty group you're in bed with, sold me out, sold out María—been trying to sabotage the Cameron account, the damn conference—"

"Are you high? Can you just calm down for one millisecond and—and listen to me?"

" Listen to you? Like you've got so much worth listening to? I swear to god—I will fucking end you, Miguel. I'm getting out of here, finding a new home without your fucking name on it, finding a new job without your fucking—"

"María installed me on that board."

I stopped. "What?"

"María got me there. On the board with Leon Realty."

It felt like something… cold, damp, pressing into my neck. I felt my head spinning, and I sank back into the couch. Finally, I spoke, quietly this time, trying to summon up the same explosive anger but finding dying embers. "What the fuck do you mean?"

"This was her gameplan since the accounting fraud happened. She pulled some connections to get me on with Leon Realty and convince them to buy Queen Pearl's assets from her."

"I thought… thought they went to the creditors."

"Leon's the creditors. She had me convince them to buy up the debt. Reverse double-agent, had them think I was their inside man."

"But… the Cameron account…"

"Really bumped up the valuation. Her account's switched to Leon."

"Jesus Christ. You fucking knew all this?"

"Knew more than that. Knew you were the fall girl. Why do you think she put you in the public eye—insisting you take Cameron, you go do the headliner…"

"You didn't tell me?" My voice was in shambles now, crackling and broken. He snorted.

"I fucking tried. You got rid of every notice I gave you. As if you'd believe me anyway? With your head that far up María's ass?"

"I'd have… looked into it…" The words felt hollow, knowing it was a lie. I'd have dismissed him outright. Like I had when he'd said the conference was strange. When Ruth had said it. When they'd all said the Cameron account was strange.

Shit.

"Figured I'd try bullying you out of the company at least. See if I could get you to pay attention to what was going on. You weren't receptive."

"Fuck off. Why would you want to help me? You can't stand me any more than I can stand you."

"Yeah, of course not, and this shit is why, self-righteous prick who thinks she's all that just because María dotes on her, with your whole worldview crumbling when you're finding out she was using you. But…" He sighed, and his voice came back softer. "But I don't want to just stand by and watch someone else take the fall for something she didn't do. Not even you."

I wiped my eyes. Crying in front of anyone was awful. In front of Miguel? Unconscionable. "Well, aren't you just such a sweetheart?"

"Shut up."

"You know, it's not my fault she was gay."

"You think that's why I don't like you?"

"So why my home? What do you possibly stand to gain from kicking me out?"

He sighed. "That's… I have nothing to do with that."

"Bullshit."

"I've done nothing but try to help you, sticking my neck out for you, and this is how you respond. Well, fuck you too, London. By the way—that housing fund resource is run dry, so good fucking luck. Have a nice life, asshole."

He hung up. I fell onto my back, the phone slipping from my hand, and I stared at the ceiling as Earl jumped up onto my chest, curling up on me, purring.

Tears burned hot at my eyes. I couldn't afford to lose Earl's home.

Choking back the heat in the back of my throat, I sat up, and I hugged him, ignoring his protestations, just burying my face in his fur and crying.

∞∞∞

I wasn't sure when I'd gotten in the car, but I knew when I got out. It had been a while since I was at this house, and it looked different by night—I'd certainly never expected to pull up to it thirty minutes to midnight.

I stepped out of the car and shut the door, marching across the white stone strip steps that led to the front door, and I knocked, hard. She was probably asleep right now, so I waited a minute and knocked, hard, again.

The door pulled open just enough to see her face, and I guess I'd been wrong. Not sleeping. María's eyes were blotchy, tired, puffy and red.

"Look—" she started, but I wasn't about giving her the floor to say whatever the fuck she wanted right now.

"Why my apartment, too? Insult to injury?"

She sighed, opening the door wider. "Come in, hija."

"Inviting me inside while you're kicking me out. Delicious irony."

"Come inside."

I went inside. Sitting on her couch, I felt like I was looking in at myself through the window, like I was so far away I could barely tell what I myself was thinking, feeling. María sat down next to me, and she hunched forward, sighing.

"I didn't want to do this," she said.

I almost didn't recognize her out of her suit. The robe made her look more human. I didn't need that right now. I wanted her to be an enemy I couldn't empathize with, not… not the woman who had hired me when no one else would give me a chance, the woman who'd been my mother more than my actual mother.

"First of all—" She gave me a sidelong look. "I didn't have anything to do with your apartment situation."

"Oh, that's rich. Miguel said the same thing. Wonder who's the fall guy for this?"

"I mean it, London. They'd already been planning it for six months before Miguel joined the board, and they started with it two days after he did. Just bad luck."

"Christ, of course it was. Always just bad luck when it comes to me, huh? Like a fucking… black cloud following me." I folded my arms on my knees, hunching forwards. "Hell, must make a handy excuse. Oh, just bad luck. Just happened that way. Get out of anything like that when it's me involved."

"London. I'm serious."

"Why?" I breathed, staring at the floor. "Why did you do this?"

She sighed, hard, standing up. I didn't say anything as she crossed the room, picked up a cup of coffee, and drank from it slowly. Honestly, I was impressed she wasn't smoking right now. I knew the way she tapped her finger on her thumb when she was craving a smoke. Woman had titanium willpower.

And even she'd caved.

"I didn't want to," she said.

"Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but you could have just fucking not."

"And let the company die a million dollars in debt two weeks later, instead?" She shook her head, shooting me a look. "I know you took Cameron to a property a fifth the budget she'd said anyway, so it wasn't like she'd have been the ticket out we'd hoped for anyway."

"How the fuck would you know that? Have you been watching us from the bushes?"

"The owner told me. Seemed a bit confused, had heard about her touring more expensive places."

"Fuck me." I hung my head. "Well, hell. Sounds like she was the ticket out you'd been hoping for anyway. Just… selling her to Leon."

"I love Queen Pearl, London. It's my baby. And I hope you don't think I wanted to sell my baby." She shook her head, clutching hard at her coffee. "And I care about you."

"You sold me out. Set me up to take the fall. Miguel told me everything."

"Miguel's jealous."

"Fuck off."

"I sent you to that conference because I wanted you to have a good look. Quality leads. Help you find a new place to work."

My throat was so tight I could hardly breathe. Tears burned in my eyes. "And move on to the next place. And the next. And the next. Watch them burn. Dammit, María. Nobody's going to want to hire me after my track record, especially when I was literally in the Queen Pearl spotlight representing them to the industry as it died, not to mention publicly fumbling the bag of Cameron Mercier. Thanks for the fucking scarlet letter."

"Don't say it like that." She put a hand to her forehead, sighing long, frustrated. "I did what I could for you."

"You could have fucking told me."

"You'd never have accepted it. Ever. And Queen Pearl would have fizzled out drowned in debts." She finished her coffee, setting the mug down hard. "Go to Leon. They'll take you. Call it a seamless transfer, keep taking on Cameron's case."

"You don't get it. It's not that easy for me. People don't want a fucking… bad omen. They'll take one look at my record and see me out the door. I—" I stood up. "You know, María? Thank you. For everything. You've done a hell of a lot for me. But I don't… I don't know how to forgive you for this."

It felt like a knife to the gut seeing the heartbreak on her face. "London…"

"Maybe it's this damn city. I feel like it started when I came here. Maybe I need to leave. Just get the hell out of here and try again, somewhere they don't know what EWO is, what Castleton is, what Pillar is, what Queen Pearl is. Just burn it all down and go. And just…" I sucked in a sharp breath, starting towards the door in a dolorous march. "Goodbye, María. It's been a pleasure working with you."

The night air felt colder than usual as I stepped outside, wishing María would say something as I left, hearing nothing.