Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

FERN

Agatheena eyed Relic. “You’re not coming in, hound.”

He stared back, eyes blazing, teeth bared. “You think you can stop me, crone?”

I stood on the other side of the ward. “You need to stand down. Agatheena isn’t going to hurt me—”

“Where you go, I go.”

“You try it,” Agatheena said coldly.

Relic charged forward, hit the ward like a brick wall, then was propelled back and knocked to the ground. He bounded back up and charged forward again, this time slamming his shoulder into it once, twice …

He was airborne a moment later, crashing to the ground again.

“Please, Relic, stop.”

Agatheena snorted at him when he charged back. “You might have broken through the wards of lesser witches, but you won’t get through mine. Growl and snarl all you like, but it won’t make a scrap of difference.” She muttered something under her breath, shaking her head, and headed back down the path. “If you’re coming, then move it,” she said to me. “Or I’ll toss you out with him.”

I turned back to Relic. “I’ll be right back—”

“That female fucking eats demons,” he growled. “Don’t you dare go in there without me.”

“She’s not going to eat me. I’m her family.”

“I said no—”

“Are you coming, or am I tossing you out?” Agatheena called.

“I’m coming,” I said, my eyes on Relic’s, pleading for him to understand.

“Don’t do it.”

“Please, don’t worry; I’ll be right back,” I said, then turned and sprinted up the path to the cottage with Relic’s roars following me. I ran up the stairs and through the door, and it slammed shut behind me.

I didn’t want him to be afraid for me, but I had to do this, and there was no time to make him understand. In fact, I didn’t think he was capable of it right then. He’d told me himself how possessive newly mated males were, how irrational they could be at times, and how insanely protective. So, I knew this was my only option. Still, I felt sick to my stomach, leaving him out there to worry.

I turned to Agatheena, who stood by the fire, her eyes burning into me. “I’m sorry for what he said. He didn’t mean to offend you.”

“He’s not the first delusional male I’ve had out here, and I have a feeling he won’t be the last,” she said.

Relic roared again, and it sent a shiver down my spine.

“You’re mated to the hound,” Agatheena said, not a question.

I nodded.

“If you want him to calm down, you need to do the same. He can sense your unease whether he realizes that’s what it is or not.”

“I’m not uneasy,” I said, lying through my teeth.

She tilted her head to the side. “If you continue to lie to me, child, this visit will be very short.”

Fuck . “Sorry, I won’t lie again.”

She huffed out a sound that might be her version of a laugh. “So, spit it out. What do you want?”

I straightened and worked on calming myself, for Relic’s sake. “I need to find the one who hurt me, and I was hoping, if you’d found any information about me, about what I can do, then maybe—”

“Then maybe you could use your powers to find him?”

“Yes.”

Delores cawed and landed on the back of the chair beside Agatheena. She took a piece of meat from a small plate beside the fire and tossed it to her.

“He’s powerful, child. I feel echoes of his magical imprint all over you; it’s seeping from your pores. Whoever cleansed you did a good job; it’s almost all gone. In a week or so, there will be nothing of him left.”

“My friend Sutton worked on me, and when she did, I felt it—my power. I just … I couldn’t hang on to it.”

“There’s a reason you couldn’t hang on to your magic—we still need to unlock the power that simmers inside you, not truly.”

I curled my fingers into tight fists. “Have you found something? Do you know how?”

“Yes.”

Hope and terror filled me all at once. “Whatever it takes, I’ll do it. I want him gone—for good.”

She nodded. “I can help you, but it’s not going to be easy, and it’s going to hurt.” Her gaze held mine. “Skin-being-flayed-from-flesh kind of hurt.”

I stared back. “I’m not afraid of pain. I’ve lived with it my whole life.”

She nodded. “Then, when you find him, child, you make him feel the pain you suffered. You make him feel every moment of it,” she said, quiet fury vibrating in her voice. “They hurt us, but in doing so, they make us stronger. So much stronger than they could ever hope to be.”

If fury fueled power and magic, I’d scorch the earth beneath my feet. “What do you need me to do?”

“You need to bleed for your craft. You need to offer your blood to the mother and beg her forgiveness for forsaking her for so long, and you need to ask her to finally accept you as one of her children.”

Mother Nature, the Great Goddess Terra, was the Creatress of all life and was often referred to as the mother by the witches who worshipped her. Not many had seen her true form; some didn’t believe she had one because, more often than not, when she needed one, she chose to inhabit her pet serpent.

I’d only prayed to her once, when I was taken to The Chemist by my grandfather, but she never answered, never came. I never prayed to her again after that. I’d assumed she felt the same way about me as the evil, twisted fucking witch who’d been hurting me.

“Your mother was a witch, as were your grandmother and your great-grandmother,” she said as if she were reading my mind. “Yes, we are also demon, but the mother’s gifts reside in you. You are a witch, child, and to ignore those gifts is blasphemy in the eyes of the Great Goddess. To receive your magic, you must atone.”

“She never came for me when I was a child; she left me to suffer. Why would I ask her forgiveness? Why would I pray to her when she ignored my prayers for help?” My voice shook with anger.

Agatheena closed the distance between us. Her hand lifted, and her eyes rolled up so only the whites were visible, and a strange lightness shifted through her features. “I feel her, you know, all around you.” Her eyes rolled back. “Your mother. Before she was murdered, she cast a spell, didn’t she?”

I stilled, rubbing my thumb over the scar there, where she’d cut my finger. “How did you know?”

“You’re surrounded by a protection spell. It’s as if … as if her arms are wrapped around you, even now. If you hadn’t been taken to that place, the monster never would have found you. When you escaped, that spell was the reason it took so long for him to find you again.”

I always believed she’d been trying to protect me, and now, I knew for sure.

“The mother is like any one of the gods, child; she sees us and the realms in a way we can only hope to. The gods are omniscient and powerful beyond our imagination, but they, like us, are beholden to the Fates. Your life, as unfair as it was, has unfolded as the Fates intended.”

“Well, the Fates are fucking bitches,” I bit out.

Agatheena chuckled. “That might be so, but in the end, they always get their way.”

“So, you’re saying I need to suck it up?”

She shrugged. “I’m telling you to not let what happened to you define who you are. No, don’t ever forget those who hurt you and never forgive them for their evil, but don’t let the hatred you feel for them blind you either; don’t let it erode and poison the good that’s to come.”

When I’d allowed myself to drop my guard, to go after what I wanted, I’d been rewarded with Relic. How much more could there be?

“I think I’ve had all the good there is to be had.”

She shook her head. “It’s boundless, great-granddaughter.”

My heart hammered at her calling me that, at what her words implied, because I wanted to believe her so badly. “And to receive more, I need to invite the mother into my life?”

“You must worship her to receive all of her gifts”—she grinned, and it was wicked as hell—“and then you can kill your monster and make him scream for mercy. You are more than one of Lucifer’s demons; you are a witch—you are a daughter of Terra—and to become all that you can be, you must embrace both.”

I wanted that. I wanted to embrace both sides of myself. “How do I begin?”

There was a dark mahogany dresser on the other side of the room, and she shuffled over, opened one of the drawers, and took something out.

“Some witches use blood when they need an offering or for binding and warding or to cement their spells. The witches in our line are no different. When a witch like us turns fourteen, our mothers gift us with a special blade, especially for those times, and we carry it always for the rest of our lives.” She closed the space between us.

“If your mother hadn’t been stolen from you, child, she would have given you one.” Her fingers curled around my hand, and she placed a small jeweled knife in my palm. It was silver and studded with emeralds and sapphires of varying shades, and it had a thin blade with a sheath made of the same worn silver.

Her features actually softened. “This was my mother’s. I never got to give it to my own daughter, but I am proud to give it to you.”

The softness vanished as fast as it had come. “As you know, my girl, there are witches who will condemn you, who will try and harm you, but we are Terra’s children, just like them. We belong, great-granddaughter. You belong. You deserve to be here.” Her face hardened further. “Are you ready to take back what’s yours, Fern?”

I curled my fingers around the jeweled hilt, and they trembled as my eyes changed, now glowing red, the same way hers were. “I’m ready.”

“Then, remove your jacket and kneel before the hearth,” she said.

I quickly did as she’d instructed.

She slid the blade from my fingers and unsheathed it. “Give me your right arm.”

I lifted it to her, and she held it in one hand.

“Do not scream. Cutting is what we do, who we are. The mother is the earth, abundant with power, and the blood we shed for her are the roots, reaching out to her, reaching out for her gifts. This is her blessing to us, so we do not cry out in pain. We relish it. We thank her for it.”

I nodded, clenching my teeth when she ran the razor-sharp blade down my forearm. Relic roared again, as if he could feel it, as if he knew what was happening in here. A thud and crash came next, over and over. He was trying to break through again.

I turned to the door, about to get up to rush to it to show him I was okay, but Agatheena gripped my chin and made me look at her.

“He is immortal. Whatever damage he does will heal. You need to focus.”

My heart hurt. I was desperate to go to him, but the future we both wanted couldn’t happen if I didn’t do this.

I nodded. “I’m focused.”

She held out the blade like she was handing over a mantle. “Now, you,” she said.

I took it, gripping the knife in my hand.

“Repeat after me. Mother, I am your humble servant, your child, and I offer you my blood .”

I said the words as I made an identical slice along my left arm.

“ I have forsaken you. Please grant me your forgiveness and gift me with your blessings ,” Agatheena said.

As I repeated the words, a surge of power rolled through me almost instantly. Then, a crash came from deep in the forest. I spun to the door again.

“She comes,” Agatheena said.

As I stood on shaky legs, the power inside me grew wilder, and a voice echoed through my mind.

“Come to me, child of coven Burnside. Come to me now.”

“She’s in my head,” I choked out.

Agatheena smiled, flashing her pointed teeth. “Go to her. Now.”