Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

FERN

“You can’t stay in bed all week.” Sutton plopped on the bed beside me.

“It hasn’t been a week.”

“Girl, it’s been five days. Time to get up, get out of that smelly shirt, and get in the shower.”

It was one of Relic’s shirts. I didn’t want to take it off. And, yes, it was gross that I’d gone five days without a shower, but I didn’t want to wash him off either.

“What’s the point? What am I going to do? I can’t go to my apartment or my store. I can’t do anything. I’m trapped here.”

“We can go downstairs, order takeout, and watch a movie.”

“I guess,” I said, mainly because I was learning that Sutton was sweet, but she was also stubborn.

“Excellent.” She gave me a little shove. “Now, get in the shower.”

“Fine.” I pushed back the covers and got up.

I avoided the mirror when I undressed in the bathroom. I hadn’t looked, and I still wasn’t ready to see the new scars on my body, not yet. I quickly showered and dressed, and when I got downstairs. Sutton and several other members of the coven were there, eating popcorn, chatting, laughing, and waiting to start the movie.

“She’s alive!” Sutton patted the couch beside her. “Come sit. You’ll feel better when you lose yourself in ninety minutes of cheesy dialogue and fast cars.”

That sounded kind of perfect. Anything to get out of my own head and ease this crushing weight on my chest. The movie started, and I shut down my mind and let myself get lost in it.

I was startled awake when a door slammed. I looked around; besides Sutton, the living room was empty. She was beside me and looked as half asleep and confused as me. We both turned to Phoebe as she all but ran toward me.

“You didn’t answer your phone!” She jumped on the couch between us.

“I must’ve fallen asleep. What’s wrong?”

Her gaze slid to Sutton, then back to me. “I went back to the demon library tonight, looking for my headphones. You know I’ve been looking for them all week, and that was the only place I hadn’t been back to check. You know I can’t work without them.”

Sutton and I both nodded.

“Well, while I was searching the library, Rune came in.” Her eyes widened. “He asked what books I’d been there searching for. I explained everything—like, everything—about you making a deal with Relic and claiming his soul so he’d protect you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, but it was like he was pulling the words from me, and I couldn’t stop.”

“It’s fine. I know what you mean.” I patted her hand. “Don’t even worry about it.”

She shook her head. “That’s not the part I wanted to tell you.” Her eyes were still wide. “When I finished talking … well, first, he laughed—like, a lot. Then, finally, he said … in that freaky, sexy, terrifying voice, ‘No one Hell-born has a soul, lovely, not the kind you mean and not the kind that can be owned.’”

I froze. “What?”

“I don’t think you ever owned Relic’s soul, Fern,” she said, blinking over at me.

“No … hang on a minute. That can’t be right.”

Sutton exchanged another look with Phoebe. “Rune would know though, right? He’s a soul collector as well. And he’s like, Rune.”

I shot to my feet and paced away. What the hell did this mean? Had Relic actually … pretended I owned his soul? Why? Why would he do that?

I’d wanted his feelings for me to be true so badly. I’d wanted the way he touched me, the way he looked at me, to be real, but it was safe to pretend, to want it because it was never going to happen. The deal had been a shield, protecting me from the possibility of real feelings, of real rejection, of again being cast aside for being what I was. For being me.

It hadn’t mattered that I was a total mess or how much I’d fucking hated him seeing all my broken pieces, because none of it had been real. I’d forced him to be there with me because of the deal , because I owned his soul .

Oh gods. I suddenly felt exposed, laid bare in a way I never had before.

But still a voice in my head, timid but hopeful, whispered, could he really want to be with me?

I shook my head. No, he couldn’t want that. Why would he want that? And even if he did, it would never work, it couldn’t. Eventually, he’d get sick of looking after me while I melted down. Eventually, he’d get sick of the compulsions and the weirdness and my feeding off him like a leech and want me gone.

I was finding it hard to breathe. I had to know. I had to know if what Rune had said was true. “I need to go to the clubhouse.”

“We can take you,” Sutton said.

“We’ll make sure no one gets near you,” Phoebe added.

I nodded. “Let’s go.”