Chapter 1

"You look like shit," Lily said in greeting when Danny finally stumbled into their designated study room in the library. "And you're late."

"Sorry," Danny mumbled, hunching his shoulders. He hated being late and he knew he didn't look good, and having Lily point out both made things even worse. He liked Lily, he did, and he really, really appreciated that she had decided he was worth tutoring. But when you're twenty-one and struggling in college, having a teenage prodigy tell you that you've wasted their time sucked on a number of levels.

"I mean, it isn't like it's a big deal," Lily said hurriedly. For all that she was blunt to the point of painful sometimes, Lily's heart was in the right place. She waved at her laptop. "I was just coding. Not like it makes a difference where I code."

"Still, I'm sorry," Danny said, falling into one of the chairs. He was exhausted from a late night and was trying not to think about said late night. "It's not right to make you wait on me."

"Whatever." Lily shrugged, clearly done with the conversation. "Let's get down to business."

They got through most of an entire set of problems without trouble, which was, at least, gratifying. Proof that Danny's hard work was actually paying off. Written math was… hard for him. It was annoying how hard it was, because he did kind of like math, sort of. He liked that there was one right answer to work toward. He just had a hell of a time showing how he got to said answer, and his teachers always wanted him to show his work.

With the way the numbers jumped around on the page, flipping upside-down or backwards, Danny usually just did math in his head because it was easier than trying to write it all down. That didn't get you good grades though. Teachers didn't just want answers, you had to prove how you got there. He'd done so badly in high school because of it, and had been accused of cheating too many times.

Lily was easy to work with, thankfully. She got how frustrating it could be when you did stuff in your head because writing things down took too much time and energy. For Lily, it was because she was wicked smart and her brain worked too fast for other people, not because she was so dumb that trying to read letters and numbers gave her a headache, but still. She didn't care that Danny had to take time to figure out where the numbers were supposed to be, where so many other people who'd tried to teach him had gotten frustrated with Danny staring at his work for too long.

Danny considered himself lucky at all that Lily happened to be doing volunteer work at the community college that Danny was stumbling his way through. She was here courtesy of her dad who did some moonlighting as an adjunct when he wasn't working as a literal rocket scientist. It had taken weeks to summon up the courage for Danny to venture his way into the tutoring center and be matched up, and he was so grateful to have clicked with Lily.

Lily, of course, was getting a full ride to some fancy-schmancy college come next fall, but her parents wanted her to "finish out the high school experience" before she got thrown into the deep end of kids just legal enough to get themselves in trouble. Danny was under the impression that Lily got into plenty of trouble already, but it was the "hacking into the Pentagon" kind rather than getting drunk or high.

He sort of understood where Lily's parents were coming from. Lily was really booksmart, but also kind of naive. He got why her parents wanted her to have an extra year around other kids.

"Okay," Lily said, flipping to the next page in Danny's workbook. "A researcher wants to determine if there is a significant difference in the average test scores between two groups of students who used different study methods. Group A consists of thirty students who used Method A…"

Danny struggled to pay attention to the whole question, so tired it was hard to focus. He appreciated that Lily liked to read the questions out loud, because it meant he didn't have to muddle through trying to read them first, but right now the words kept turning into a wash of sound.

He wished he wasn't so tired. Wished Clint hadn't kept up all hours of the night. Wished, far from the first time, that he wasn't paying for his college classes with what little pride and self-dignity he had left.

Danny hadn't entirely known what he was signing up for, when he'd submitted himself to a sugar baby website six months ago. All he'd known was that he was desperate for something to change. He'd wanted to go to college, to get a chance at getting a better job, a better life. He'd wanted to not worry about his bills for once in his life. He'd just wanted things to be a little bit easier. Just a little bit.

Instead, Danny had gotten Clint.

And things hadn't gotten…easier.

Danny knew that he shouldn't complain. He was well-aware that he'd been lucky Clint had taken an interest in him and offered him an arrangement. Clint had seen something in Danny, and had been willing to pay for Danny's classes and rent in exchange for Danny being at his beck and call.

There were worse ways to eke out a living. Danny knew that well enough.

So now he was living the life where he'd gotten a text at ten o'clock last night that Clint was sending a car to pick him up because he wanted Danny's help "arranging some new furniture." Fuck his life, but if Clint said jump Danny had to say how high, so off he'd gone. He was just lucky that Clint hadn't wanted Danny to spend the night, and instead had sent him home with a driver at two in the morning.

The only furniture Danny had seen was what Clint had bent him over.

Danny knew that Clint did stuff like that entirely because he could. Clint was the sort of guy who liked having all the power, and Danny was someone who had none. He was perfect for Clint, in a way.

But Clint had promised he wouldn't interfere with school stuff. It was one of the only two rules Danny even had.

"Danny?" Lily's voice asked. "Did you get that? Want me to read it again?"

"No," Danny said quickly, forcing his brain to rewind and focus on what Lily had said. The question wanted him to conduct a hypothesis test at the 0.05 significance level to determine if there was a significant difference between the two groups. Right. That wasn't so hard.

He played the numbers over in his mind, calculating the formulas for the two-sample t-test. According to the numbers, there was definitely sufficient evidence that there was a significant difference in the average test scores between the two groups at the .05 level.

Right. Okay.

He put his pencil to the paper and did his best to concentrate on writing out the formulas to show his work, trying not to scowl at the way the numbers jumped around on the page. He hated this, hated so much how stupid he was. How hard it was to write out simple formulas. Being so tired made it even harder to focus, and he hated that too.

Clint fucking knew that Danny had tutoring on Saturday mornings. He always kept an eye on Danny's schedule. Danny needed to show Clint what he registered for each semester and explain what all his classes were as well as report in on grades. Clint sometimes even made Danny tell him about what he did in class on any given day.

He said it was to ensure Danny wasn't throwing away his tuition money. Danny was pretty sure it was more that it gave Clint another avenue of control over Danny's life. But whatever. Clint thought that Danny wanting to be a paralegal was "cute," and he was willing to entertain Danny's stupid little dream, as long as Danny entertained him.

Fine. It was paying Danny's bills. That was the deal.

And yeah, okay, Danny knew he didn't have it in him to try law school, not with how he could barely read, but he wanted to do something in law. Act as a support in a Family Law office that actually did good work. Maybe do his best to make a difference in some kid's shitty-ass life.

The kind of difference he never got.

He wasn't going to be working for a lawyer like Clint, he knew that for absolute certainty. Danny spent enough time under people like Clint as it was.

He slowly scratched out what he hoped were the steps to the right answer, taking his time to make the numbers as neat as possible. He just had to make it to graduation. He'd been out of school for almost three years trying to scape by without an education before he'd started at Oakland Community College. Now he was working his ass off to get up to speed on classes, but in his first semester he'd only been able to manage a 3.6 GPA. That had still taken hours and hours bent over notebooks and computer screens trying to make the letters and numbers he was reading stay still long enough for him to read them, gritting his teeth against tears of frustration. But he'd done it. All by himself.

He'd been kind of proud, at the end of his first semester, to get that little letter in the mail letting him know he'd made summa cum laude status by getting over a 3.5. He hadn't had anyone to share it with because he certainly didn't care about telling Clint, but that didn't matter. That letter was proof that he was actually sort of capable, even if only a little bit.

If he could just finish out community college with a good GPA, he could take the test to become a certified paralegal. If he did that, he could actually work in the field. It wasn't too much of a stretch to think that he could manage some sort of entry-level job somewhere. Leave Clint behind. He could do it.

He just needed to last for a couple more years. Make sure Clint didn't get bored of him in the meantime.

"You're doing that thing again," Lily said.

Danny tore his eyes away from his notebook. "What thing?"

"The thing where I can't tell if you're concentrating or spacing out," Lily said, chewing on the end of her hair. "Like, I don't care which one it is, but just let me know when you're done, cause I have something to tell you."

Danny fought the urge to shake his head. Fuck, he was so tired. "You could tell me now."

Lily nodded, but now looked a little guilty. Danny tried not to let his hackles rise. "You know how I said I'd help you find someone to help you with your business law classes?"

Danny gave her a confused look. "No, you didn't?" He had mentioned that business law was a little hard for him, but it wasn't because of the actual work—that was kind of fun, doing the logic of figuring out how to make the law work in his favor. It was just that reading all the text was a struggle for him. Which was something he definitely hadn't mentioned .

It was bad enough he was so stupid he could barely read. He wasn't about to share just how dumb he was to the literal smartest person he had ever met.

"No, no," Lily said loftily, waving a hand and looking incredibly suspicious now. "I totally did. I said, oh yeah, I bet I could figure out a way to make it easier. And then I said I knew a guy who could help."

"You... definitely did not do that," Danny said, staring at her. "I would have remembered us having this conversation. Also I would have said something along the line's of, ‘no, it's fine, I'm good figuring it out on my own.'"

"Anyway," Lily continued, completely ignoring him. "My brother's friend is a lawyer, and he said he'd be happy to tutor you."

Danny flushed, at once embarrassed and ashamed. A part of him appreciated Lily wanting to help. He had never had anyone really want to help him before without wanting something in return.

Still. "Look, that's—that's really nice," Danny started. "Thank you for thinking of me. But I don't need help." Certainly not from an actual lawyer, not before Danny knew a bit more about how to work around his reading issues. All he'd do was make a fool of himself.

"It'd be good practice," Lily said reasonably. "He's all fancy and stuff. He like, has to wear a suit to work and everything."

That was exactly what Danny was afraid of. He wanted to work for lawyers, sure. But after he knew enough to not flounder and look stupid. People talked, he knew that. If this guy didn't like him, he could make all sorts of trouble for Danny in a couple years when Danny was actually looking to enter the field.

He already had concerns about what Clint might do, once Danny was in a position to end their arrangement.

"Look," Danny said, a bit desperately. He didn't want Lily upset with him either. "I'm grateful, I am. Thank you for trying to help. But I'm fine. Really."

"Oh," a smooth voice from behind him said. "So that's a no on the tutoring, then?"

Danny flinched and turned.

Nothing came out of his mouth as he took in the man before him. A tall, broad-shouldered Asian man with a personable smile, and Danny's throat clicked as he swallowed, in the face of that smile.

It looked…kind? Maybe a little bemused, but open and friendly. Like it didn't matter that Danny was turning him away. Like he wasn't angry or annoyed at coming all this way only to be told "no."

Danny took the man in, still stuck speechless. His hair had a streak of white, but he had a young face. Thirties maybe? And just going gray young? He was standing there in the little study room holding his coat over his arm, with one hand tucked in his pocket, exuding an easy-going confidence. Like he knew he looked good.

He didn't look like a guy who heard the word "no" a lot. But he—he didn't seem upset to hear it now. Still, Danny sucked in a breath through his nose, trying to regroup. It was one thing to turn down a guy in theory. It was another thing entirely when he was already here, when he'd come to some lowly community college, all for Danny's sake.

Danny didn't want anyone to think he wanted trouble. He'd spent his whole life trying to not rock boats, so he didn't get tossed overboard.

Somehow life always still made him feel like he was drowning.

The man's smile didn't dim in the face of Danny's silence. "Lily said you were really smart," he said, voice warm and friendly. "I was looking forward to working with you."

Danny suddenly felt hot, flushed, at hearing such nice things said in that voice. He tried to cover it, clearing his throat. "I—oh." Stupid, he berated himself. He tried again. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't…know she'd told you something like that."

Lily huffed, crossing her arms. "Only cause it's true."

He sent Lily a startled glance, and she tilted up her chin, raising an eyebrow. As if to say, Well? What about it?

"My name's Haruto Nakamura," the man said, pulling Danny's attention again. He held out a hand. "But you could call me Haru. I really am happy to help."

Danny's mind whirled and he stared at the offered hand for a beat too long. Before he could make himself move properly to shake it like a fucking normal person who didn't mind letting large, strange men touch them, Nakamura did a little wave instead, then stuck his hand in his pocket.

"Haruto Nakamura?" Danny asked weakly, desperately trying to look less like a fuck-up. This was Haruto Nakarmura? "Are… are you the same Haruto Nakamura who worked the Shinoto Inc vs Russel Center case?"

"Oh! Yeah," Nakamura said, for some reason seemingly fine with Danny's antics. "Yeah, that was me. Well, my whole team. I couldn't have won it without the support I had at my back." His smile, somehow, got brighter. Almost…admiring? "Lily said that's what you're in school for. You want to be on a team and make a difference."

Danny swallowed. Russel Center had won that case, which had reversed Shinoto Inc's claim on all patent rights for electro-neural prosthetics, allowing the technology to go open source. It had revolutionized the market, which had, in turn, forced the company to stop charging an arm and a leg for prosthetic arms and legs. It was one of the cases Danny had studied last semester.

Clint had been awful about it, when he'd read through Danny's notes. As a lawyer for Shinoto Inc., he'd put in a lot of hours on that case, and had been furious to learn that people were studying how his team had lost.

Danny could only imagine the shit Clint would give him if he ever found out Danny had even been in the same room as Nakamura.

"Yeah," Danny managed, after he'd been quiet for too long. "I want to support someone in family law."

"That's a really great ambition," Nakamura said. "I'm sure you'll be an amazing support." He was meeting Danny's eyes, expression warm and sincere, and something molten dripped down Danny's spine.

He felt—jittery. Anxious in the face of Nakamura's praise, because what did this guy know, he didn't know Danny, he had no reason to think Danny would do a good job doing anything. Empty praise, that was all it was. Probably because Lily was in the room.

That had to be it.

"I've got to get going," Lily cut in, having somehow thrown all her stuff into her backpack without Danny noticing. "You two could decide what to do next, yeah? Okay cool, bye!"

Danny watched Lily flee, feeling betrayed. He jumped when he heard Nakamura chuckle.

"Sorry," Nakamura said in response to whatever facial expression Danny was making. "I'm not laughing at you, promise. Lily just thinks she's so clever and subtle."

"Why is she trying to be?" Danny asked, throat dry, Why was Nakamura affecting him this much? Just because he was acting nice? It wasn't as though Danny hadn't met other men who acted nice. The key word was "acted." They always showed their true colors in the end.

He hurried to gather up his things. He didn't want to be trapped in a room with a man he didn't know, who's motivations he could only guess.

Who was making him feel a whiplash of muddled emotions.

Nakamura gave him a rueful look, thankfully unaware of Danny's inner turmoil. "Well, it was more Jacob, really. Lily's brother. He's made it his mission to get me out of the office more, and I think he roped Lily into his plans. Not that I think you're just some project for me to poke at," he added quickly. "And I'm sure Lily doesn't either. She likes you, so she wants you to do well in whatever you're trying to accomplish. I think it was more just a matter of two birds, one stone. You know?"

Danny didn't know, at all. And while he was kind of… pleased to hear that Lily actually liked him, as opposed to just putting up with him because her dad said she had to, Danny didn't understand the game here.

And not understanding the game meant you were going to lose.

He grabbed for his coat. It was one Clint had bought for him, because he refused to go out with Danny in the tattered thing Danny normally wore for the winter.

Danny's old coat might have been a little old and beaten up, but it had been a fucking good coat. He'd bought it at a thrift store several years ago for thirty-six dollars, and it had saved his life a few times when things had gotten really bad.

This new coat was expensive and fancy, and not nearly as warm. But Clint had bought him the coat, so Danny had to use it.

Danny's hand fisted in the material. It was so stupid and so ungrateful, but he hated this coat. He hated being cold.

It suddenly struck him that in his haste to get himself out of an uncomfortable situation, he was packing up in front of Nakamura, who had come out all this way to tutor him. If he left now, he'd be disappointing Lily and…probably disappointing Nakamura too.

He'd come all this way. It would be so ungrateful and selfish to leave like this, just because Danny was a little uncomfortable.

"Sorry," he said, fingers clenched around his coat. "I didn't mean–"

"It's okay," Nakamura said. He sounded kind. "If you've got to get going, I understand. I wasn't aware that Lily was surprising you with me. I should have though, that's par for the course with Lily."

"Yeah," Danny said without thinking. "It took me a while to figure out if she thought I was a person or a computer. Then again, I make way too many mistakes to be a computer."

"Mistakes are how you learn," Nakamura said with a shrug.

"Mistakes get you in trouble," Danny muttered, before he realized he had said that out loud. "Shit–" he looked frantically up at Nakamura. "I mean, sorry, I—" Fuck, even if Nakamura weren't a high-powered lawyer who could literally break Danny to pieces, he didn't want to get Lily's friend mad at him either.

"It's okay," Nakamura said, holding up a hand. Danny couldn't decipher the expression he made then, but the next moment he was smiling as though they were sharing a joke. "I'm not going to write you up for cursing, promise."

Danny let out a weak chuckle. "Still uh. Sorry."

Nakamura's smile slipped for just a moment before it slid back into place. "No harm done. But really, am I making you late for something? Or are you just uninterested in tutoring? Because it's fine if either thing is the case. It's not your fault Lily blindsided you."

"I'm not late for anything," Danny said, because that was true. Clint had already had him all night. He probably wouldn't be bothering Danny until at least the coming evening. Danny was just planning on going home, scrubbing himself down again , and then collapsing into bed for a nap before rousing himself once more to try and focus on more school stuff.

It really, really sucked sometimes having to do extra work because of how he was. He couldn't read his textbooks in class while the professors went over the material, so Danny had started blocking out time to read ahead as best he could, memorizing as he went.

He knew it was foolish—he couldn't imagine other people had to memorize their textbooks in order to not get lost in class—but it was the best way he could come up with to pass. It ate up most of his free time, but that was the trade off.

Nakamura was waiting on an answer.

The thing was…

The thing was, if Danny were smart, he'd be jumping at this opportunity. Nakamura was a name. He was important . If Danny managed to not fuck up—managed to maybe even do a decent job on what they worked on together—he might even get a good referral out of being tutored by him. A good referral would be worth so much.

This had the potential to be a genuinely good thing, if Danny could keep from messing it up or making a fool out of himself. He could just never tell Clint. But… there was no reason to tell Clint, was there?

"I'm not late for anything," Danny said again. "I—sorry I was just. Surprised. Since I didn't see this coming."

"I understand," Nakamura said genially.

"But I'd like to," Danny continued quickly. "Take you up on your offer. If it was still on the table. If that's okay."

Nakamura beamed at him. It was unfairly devastating, a fact which made Danny mad. He knew better than to fall for nice-guy stuff from handsome, put-together men. Clint had been a nice-guy once.

"Oh hey, great," Nakamura said. "Of course it is. I'd love to help you however I can."

"Thank you." Something tight inside Danny loosened against his will in the face of Nakamura's enthusiasm. "I'd really appreciate it."

"Sure," Nakamura said. He pulled out his phone. "What days and times work for you? I certainly remember being a full-time college student with a packed schedule."

Danny did his best not to boggle. Nakamura was an important person with an important job. Why in the world was he trying to acquiesce to Danny's schedule? "Um… I'm free now? I mean—it's just that you're here now. So if you're free, we could maybe… just see if you want to really work with me? Before scheduling any more sessions."

There, that was good and diplomatic, right?

"That sounds great," Nakamura said. "I want to help and I can't imagine that changing, but I appreciate you giving me a trial run to see if you think I'd make a difference."

That… wasn't at all what Danny had meant. "Okay," Danny said weakly.

Nakamura looked around the little study room, then down at his watch before giving Danny another smile. Was he like this all the time? Just…smiling that brightly at everyone and anyone? "How do you feel about changing locations? My treat."

"Oh, uh, sure." Danny didn't care. Nakamura was the one going out of his way. "Wherever works for you?"

"Great," Nakamura said conspiritually. "It's perfect hot cocoa weather."