7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Emily

Jack Davis is an enigma.

I spent a lot of time with him recently, but I still can't figure him out. My mother occasionally tries to prod, getting a hunch with all my visits, but I still don't know what to tell her. He's good. But I don't think that's the answer that people are looking for.

She asked me again as I fluffed up some pillows on the couch for a movie night; still no cohesive response. I just say he's good. I'm left alone after that. Mom has been cooking all afternoon, the air warm with spices and a light sweetness. It's been a while since I've slept over.

I feel like a child again, settling on the couch and choosing the movie for the night. My thoughts are interrupted by a doorbell. It's late for visitors, so I turned to my mom just in case. She peeks from the kitchen and nods, a smile on her lips.

My feet drag against the floor as I reach for the doorknob, pulling it open as I rub my eyes. "Can I help—"

"Hey, kiddo."

I freeze, my eyes looking at one of the most comforting faces I've ever known. Nathan smiles down at me, looking as emotional as I am. "I'm home."

I break out of the shock, wrapping my arms around his torso and wailing. He hugs me tight as he kisses my forehead. My voice cracks when I ask, "What are you doing here?"

His cheek is pressed against my head. "Told you I'd see you soon, right? It's soon now."

"Fuck off. You're so annoying." I sob, hiding my face in his jacket. This would be embarrassing at any other time, but it's been years since I've even seen him in the flesh.

Nathan carefully maneuvers us inside, dragging his suitcase in one hand. Mom comes out of the kitchen and sighs in relief, her hands covering her mouth. I watch him turn into a child right then and there.

Nathan's lower lip wobbles. "Hi, mama."

"Hello, baby. Come here." Mom pulls him in, holding him like he's not taller than her. "I'm so happy you're home."

When they separate, I stupidly ask, "Is this the surprise?"

They both laugh at me, Nathan holding his arm out for me to join the hug. Mom kisses my temple. "Yes, kid. It is."

The rest of the day is spent catching up.

So much, yet so little has changed in the past few years. Even if Mom and I fare well without him, it's always a different feeling to have my older brother nearby.

After the reunion, I bring Nathan to the bookstore. The last time he was here, it was a half-bare space with no life. It's kind of scary to let him see it, I'm not going to lie. It's a long time of changing and arranging the space to make it my own.

He's silent as he looks around, and I wring my hands together, biting the skin of my lips nervously. "Well?"

"God, Em," he faces me, blinking away tears. "This is amazing ."

The relief that fills my veins is overwhelming. I nod, trying not to cry. "Thanks."

"You did all this by yourself? All of the lights and the paint? This looks exactly like that drawing you had."

As a child, I would draw wonky layouts of my dream places: rooms, houses, stores. I threw out most of them over time, but the bookstore one stayed with me. Eventually, the drawing came to life.

I shrug, not knowing what else to say. Nathan pulls me into a bear hug, kissing my head. "I'm so proud of you. Dad would be so proud of you."

I shiver but nod, holding onto my brother. Dad died when I was in high school, a sudden death that none of us thought would happen. One minute he was as healthy as a horse, the other he was too tired to stand. He was always smiling, the best kind of person around. Even on his deathbed, he smiled at Nathan and me and told us not to lose hope.

When he passed, Nathan did everything he could to be there for Mom and me. He tried to fill in the spaces Dad left behind, not to leave Mom with the brunt as she grieved. There was too much pressure on his shoulders for someone who was barely in college when it all went down. We were taught to be independent very early on, but it never lessened the pain of losing someone.

Nathan has always mentioned how guilty he felt for leaving this small town, but Mom and I were even more upset that he would even think of not following his dreams.

"My little sister is growing up," he whispers, his tone one of disbelief. "I'm sorry I wasn't around often, kiddo."

I smack his arm at the unnecessary apology. "I'm just happy to see you doing what you love."

"I'm happy seeing that on you, too."

The walk back to the house is full of laughter, with people pushing each other down the sidewalk and racing each other down the block. It's too late for this kind of ruckus, but it's not every day I get to spend time with family like this. When Mom opens the door, hearing the commotion on the porch, she smiles warmly. She looks just like she did twenty years ago, calling us in for dinner. "Come on, kids. Food's getting cold."

Dinner is loud with conversation as we catch up on every detail of each other's lives. I talk about my regulars: Mom's friend from the book club had a baby, and Nathan's friend got a new cat. It's almost like meeting new people with the same faces I've known all my life. We clear the table and Mom brings out some dessert—cheesecake—as we settle into more mellow talk.

"Have you said hello to Jack, Nathan?" Mom pats his arm softly.

Nathan laughs, shaking his head. "I came here straight. I'll visit tomorrow. Is his knee still fucked?"

"Yes. It was pretty horrible. Em, tell us what's been going on." She turns to Nathan. "She's been visiting Jack occasionally."

I try not to look guilty, digging my spoon into the cake. At least she didn't say every day. I don't think she knows I've been going every day.

I chuckle, shaking my head. "I've visited the first few times to check on him and give some cards that people passed on. Sometimes, I go on behalf of his coach to check up on him. He's doing good and healing well. I know he's a good friend of yours."

I'm technically not lying; just underexaggerating, but not lying. I shove my spoon in my mouth to stop speaking. I don't know why I feel like I'm doing something wrong. it's not like Nathan told me to avoid Jack completely, but it feels weird saying it out loud.

Nathan hums, with no discernable tone, and nods. "I'll check up on him tomorrow. I didn't tell anyone I'm coming back."

Mom smiles warmly. "I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

I smile, nodding at Nathan encouragingly. There's no reason for this to be weird. It's a great moment, and I'm not going to let my worries ruin it.

It's only when I go to sleep later than night that I realize I didn't make my daily visit.

I feel like my stomach is about to give out.

The hallway smells comfortably of medicine and antiseptic as I knock on the door, Nathan behind me. We wait for a quiet voice, and I open it, peeking my head in like I always do.

Jack's eyes widen, and he exhales. "Emily."

"Hi," I greet, smiling, and open the door wider. "I brought something for you."

Nathan peeks his head in, grinning wildly. "A few years without me and you bash in your knee? Rookie error, dude."

"Nathan!" Jack laughs, sitting up slowly and opening his arms for a hug. I let them have their moment, hugging it out and roughly patting each other on the back. I stay back to watch them fondly.

We all end up talking, sitting around his bedside as he explains his injury, tells us how he's been doing, and how the team is. I've seen Jack smile, but this pure joy and excitement in his face makes me smile, too. It brightens his eyes, and he looks less gloomy, simply grinning at an old friend, talking like no time has passed.

It's almost like seeing a new person. The same smile from all those years ago is back, and it's mesmerizing to see.

"Oh," I mumble to myself. The flowers by his bedside have started to droop naturally after two weeks. I touch the petals, dark and drying, before turning to Jack, scrunching up my face like it's his fault.

He shakes his head at me, rolling his eyes. "Hey, they wilt eventually."

"Maybe they sense your bad energy and just sag," I whisper conspiratorially as if the flowers can hear me. "They can sense feelings, you know?"

He whispers back, just as annoyingly. "I'll have you know that I'm a wonderful person."

"Send me some references on paper and I'll believe it, and they can't be from your mom." I point out, smirking as I lean back onto the chair.

"I'll get it from your mom." Jack childishly replies, flipping me off. "You're really winning bedside personality of the year here."

I scoff a laugh, shaking my head. When I look up, Nathan is staring, flickering his eyes back and forth between us. I feel caught. Jack clears his throat. "Anyway, good news."

"You're giving me back my old hockey stick?" Nathan chirps in, eyes looking at the ceiling.

Jack clicks his tongue, wagging a finger. "First of all, you gave that to me. Finders keepers. And second, no. I got news earlier than I'd be able to go home soon."

"Wait, really?" I sit up straighter, my breath hitching. "Like home, home?"

"Yeah," he looks so proud. "I mean, I'd have to go to physio, and I'm still not cleared for any sports, but I can at least rest from home."

Nathan nods, clasping their hands together for a handshake. He pats his shoulder roughly. "Dude, that's so amazing! Back on the ice in no time!"

"Yeah, I'm really happy for you!" I say, squeezing his forearm. "That was pretty quick."

"Doctor says I'm just that good," Jack shrugs, feigning casualness, but anyone who looks can see the relief and excitement in his eyes. "Dream's not over yet."

I smile to myself, ducking my head. "No. Not until Jack Davis says so himself."

"Not until I say so myself," Jack repeats, a strange look in his eyes as he nods at me.

I know my brother well enough to know he has a lot of questions. He asks none of them.

When we get home, it's dead silent.

We don't talk about the visit in the car. We don't talk about the visit on the way home. We don't talk about the visit when Mom's around.

I can't tell if Nathan is angry, disappointed, or something else I can't point out. I'm not sure when the lines between Jack and I got blurry. It's not like we're dating, but things have changed. I don't hate him, per se, but saying we're friends feels a bit uneven. I don't know if he sees me that way.

I think I'm off the hook by the time the moon is out. We agreed to stay at Mom's place another day, so Nathan and I locked up the house while Mom turned in early.

We both go up the stairs and walk down the hallway to the spare rooms, silence between us. Nathan's is further down the hall than mine, and just as I'm opening my door, he stops.

"Emily?"

I take a step back out. "Yeah?"

He pauses, his hand clenching around the doorknob. "Be careful with Jack. Okay? For me?"

My breathing hitches, and I force myself to exhale. I nod. "Yes. of course."

"Goodnight."