Chapter 22

Inside the grand property of my parents’ home, guests have gathered, seating themselves on the rows of white chairs perfectly positioned on the pristinely manicured lawns.

The lush gardens are the ideal backdrop for the day. My mother loves gardenias, hiring a famous wedding coordinator who made sure my mother got exactly what she wanted. They are placed at the end of each aisle, accompanied by a fancy emerald bow—emerald being the color of our family’s emblem.

It is beautiful, but weddings always are. It’s a completely surreal feeling when you’re the person it centers around.

As I stand behind the tall pillars, the wedding coordinator, Jean-Claude, gives me a one-minute warning.

Several people are hurrying around me touching my hair and powdering my face.

The train of my dress is dragged along the ground into a perfect position.

There are voices all talking at once, instructions about who is walking when. Even the poor flower girls are being reprimanded for accidentally spilling some petals before the music has started.

I clench my fists tightly, my nails digging into the palm of my hand, yet the pain is absent. The only thing I’m acutely aware of is the sound of my heart throbbing against the cage of my chest. It’s beating incredibly loud, restricting my ability to breathe evenly.

The lace against my skin suddenly feels tight, trapping me beneath and causing a wave of heat to engulf my skin. The room begins to spin with the voices becoming a sea of noises until Jean-Claude calls my name. “Gabriella, it’s time!”

There is no time to think or even process his words as my father has placed his arm into mine, and the aisle is before us. Classical music begins to play, and the guests rise from their chairs with judgment on their faces. My feet move on their own accord, lost in a hazy daze until Nicholas is standing before me, taking me from my father.

He looks handsome, dashing as always in his black tuxedo and perfectly placed bowtie.

But he isn’t Oliver.

He isn’t the man I love.

The minister begins to speak, and with my hands placed nervously in Nicholas’, I scan the crowd until my gaze meets Lana and Sebastian. They both look well, Lana wearing a mauve chiffon dress and Sebastian in a navy-blue suit with tie.

In a room of five hundred people, the only two people who feel like family are smiling back at me. As the minister continues his sermon about the sanctity of marriage, my mind wanders back to when I first met Sebastian and Lana.

My heavy suitcase dragged along the path, stopping just shy of the porch steps. The house looked weathered—perhaps rustic would be a more appropriate term to use.

“Hi,” a voice at the fence startles me. A female neighbor. “I’m Lana. This is Ace, my son. So, you’re staying here for the summer?”

I nodded, noticing the little boy playing in the yard with his ball.

“I’m Gabriella. And yes, just here for the summer.”

A big, fluffy rabbit appeared beside the boy. I had to do a double take. A rabbit wandering the yard. It’s big, like unusually big.

How bizarre.

“You have a big rabbit?”

“That’s Bubbles.” Lana smiled proudly. “My husband wanted a rescue dog, but Bubbles was too good to pass up.”

“Hey, who you talking smack about?” A man walked out onto the porch. He had a thick head of mousy brown hair, and the closer he walked toward us, his face became more apparent. Rather good- looking with baby blue eyes and a chiseled jawline beneath his scruffy face.

“Sebastian, this is Gabriella, our new neighbor for the summer.”

“Nice to meet ya, Gabbie.” Sebastian extended his hand, his accent thick and not from around here.

I reached out to be polite and contemplated telling him I didn’t care for that nickname but decided to do that another time.

“Please excuse my husband and his need to abbreviate everything.” She motioned for me to lean in. “He’s Aussie. It’s what they do.”

“Oi,” Sebastian hollered from where he stood. “There’s a lot of things I do, princess, many of which you never complain about.”

“And please excuse his crass comments.”

I laughed, already liking the two of them.

“It’s a breath of fresh air,” I told Lana. “I think I’m going to like it here.”

Their support and ongoing friendship, despite my flaws and mistakes, means everything to me. Sebastian and Lana have always supported me from the moment I stepped foot next door. They never once judged me for my poor decisions, nor did they inflict their personal opinions on me. They welcomed me with open arms, and no one in my entire life has done that besides them.

A shot of confidence ran through me.

The only person’s opinion I should care for is my own.

If I don’t stand up for what I want, for who I want to become, then I might as well be dead.

Regardless of the eyes all heavily focused on me, when I stare back at Nicholas, my heart confirms what I have known all along.

This will never work.

I can’t half give myself to someone. Even with his flaws, Nicholas deserves someone who will love him whole. That’s what love can do—it can bring out the strong version of you when you least expect it.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Nicholas. I can’t do this.”

He smiles through his teeth. “Gabriella, don’t be ridiculous. Everyone is watching.”

I pull his hand to follow me behind the screen covered in gardenias. The crowd gasps, whispers beginning, but I no longer care what they think. This has to be about me, for once.

“Gabriella, are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“I don’t care. So they’ll watch us, judge us, and then they’ll move onto something else newsworthy. I care about you, but I can’t marry you. My heart doesn’t belong here.”

“Heart?” he seethes, eyes blazing at me. “It’s a goddamn marriage. Do you know how good we look on paper?”

“Paper,” I repeat, bowing my head. “But paper means nothing, Nicholas.”

I step off the backstage, hiding behind the pillars as the sounds of the crowd become louder. My parents race toward me.

My father is anything but forgiving, towering over me, ready to rein in his control with his stare deadly and ready to kill. “Gabriella, get back on that stage and marry Nicholas. How dare you humiliate us. If you walk away, you walk away with nothing. You understand me? You will be nothing to our family. I will make damn sure of that!”

The fear comes as crashing waves, those of a winter beach rather than with any warmth from a summer’s day. It comes as a chill that goes directly to the core of who I am, and it snarled loudly, telling me to cower just like every other time. Yet, this time, I allow myself the strength to begin swimming, live in that salty water with my own bravery, and be the person I am destined to be. I need to conquer fear and accept my pain as lessons I need to master.

No matter what I do, I will never be good enough for my family, and that doesn’t matter anymore. I need to be the best for me because, in the end, that’s the only opinion that matters.

I know at this moment, defying my father will see me walk through the pits of hell to find my heaven or remain in a non-existent life for eternity.

I choose to walk through the fire.

“Then I choose to be nothing to you,” I tell him, holding his angered stare with my confident gaze.

“I never should have accepted you into this family. You were a mistake born out of a foolish betrayal.” He doesn’t say another word to me, demanding my mother to remove me from the property at this instance. My mother breaks down in tears, her scathing expression mirroring my father.

“A mistake born out of a foolish betrayal…” I repeat, lowering my voice. “I don’t understand?”

“Why did you have to do this? He gave you everything! He gave us everything. I’ve spent your lifetime paying for my mistakes,” she sputters, momentarily beyond words. “I don’t ever want to see your face again.”

Pulling her dress up, she storms off, leaving me perplexed.

None of this makes any sense.

My father taking me in.

My mother’s mistakes.

Foolish betrayal.

Then it clicks, all his words, all my mother’s pleas, everything in my life up until this moment. I don’t belong here because I am not his—Edward Carmichael is not my father.

I stand here stunned, unable to move. Nicholas has disappeared, he’s nowhere to be seen. I’ve humiliated everyone, but the person most humiliated is me.

The one who was made to believe I owed him everything because he was my father.

He made sure I paid for my mothers mistake.

And in the end, the only mistake made was me believing someone else owned my life.

People are walking past me, turning their noses up with their judgmental eyes. I don’t care. I’m completely motionless right now, trying to comprehend everything that has unraveled only moments ago.

Lana bursts from behind the curtain, reaching out her arms and embracing me as my river of tears collide with her shoulder. The weight of my decision becomes so real I almost feel myself ready to collapse into her arms.

Sebastian is standing beside her with a mixed expression of sympathy and irritation as Frank, our head security guard, appears beside him.

“Miss Carmichael, your father has demanded you leave immediately,” Frank demands. His expression is remorseful, but I know he has no choice but to follow orders.

“Oi, give the woman a moment,” Sebastian responds, annoyance present in his tone.

“It’s okay.” I sob, my lips still trembling. “Goodbye, Frank. Thank you for taking care of me all these years.”

Frank extends his arms out to hug me, drawing me into his manly hug. He’d been more of a father to me than my own, and saying goodbye to a man who has always protected me is harder than I thought.

Frank leans his head down, lifting my chin with his hand. “You take care of yourself, okay? You’re stronger than you think. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”

I hold onto him tightly one more time before taking Sebastian’s coat he offered me.

Between Lana and Sebastian, I remain in their embrace as we walk toward their car. Each step becomes a harsher reality, the panic setting in within moments.

“I don’t have a place to stay.”

“Hey, you’ve got a home, okay?” Lana reassures me. “Your home is with us as long as you need it.”

The car ride to the hotel is quiet, because all I can do is stare out the window entirely numb. We stop at the hotel to pick up their stuff, and Lana lends me a change of clothes as Sebastian books us on the next flight home. I have absolutely nothing to my name, exactly as my father had threatened.

In two short hours, my father disconnected my phone and canceled all my cards including my personal banking account which was linked to his main account. I have my driver’s license and social security card. I don’t even own a toothbrush.

He delivered on his promise and left me with nothing.

I was glad to get on the plane back to Los Angeles, equally relieved to see the familiar sight of Manhattan Beach. I’d spent only a short time here, but it felt more like home than the one I grew up in.

Yet, every single thing reminds me of him.

And I don’t know what pain stabbed me deeper. I’m drowning no matter which way I turn or try to climb out.

“I’m sorry, girl. It’s our only spare room,” Lana apologizes, falling into a digestive silence as we stand in what was once Oliver’s room.

Instantly, I smell him everywhere.

The scent is overbearingly present. It’s a manly scent mixed with rainforest and a fresh summer breeze. It ran through my veins, reminding me of his touch, his skin, and the way he caressed every part of me.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like a train wreck.” I sit on the edge of the bed, rubbing my face into my hands. I’m beyond exhausted, my eyes puffy from the constant tears. My body aches as if it has run a marathon. “I have nothing, Lana. Not a single cent to my name. I don’t even have fresh underwear.”

“All problems with simple solutions,” Lana says, placing her hand on my shoulder. “The universe must be on the good karma trail or something. We have an admin job opening at the law firm, and it pays decent enough for you to get back on your feet until you decide what you want to do. Meanwhile, there’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom cupboard. Brand new, of course. Never use the green one. Sebastian uses it to unclog the sink.”

The corners of my mouth turn up into a small smile, making a mental note never to use the green toothbrush. How disgusting.

“First thing tomorrow morning, we’re going to stock up with everything you need. Have you ever been to Target? It’s the one-stop-shop for everything.”

“Target? Lana… it’s too much.”

“You can pay us back when you get paid. In instalments, of course.”

“I can’t let you and Sebastian do that.”

“You don’t have a choice. We’re family, and this is what family does,” she reminds me with a smile.

I lean into her shoulder, smiling as we both sit quietly. “Family, huh? Does Bubbles agree to me being the new third wheel?”

As soon as I said it, Bubbles’ sixth sense must have kicked in. He hops into the room like he owns the place. Despite his red eyes making him look like the spawn of the devil, he does this weird thing with his mouth, making this cute bunny sound. Sure, he’s abnormally sized for a rabbit but none of us are perfect.

We both fall into a fit of laughter, our backs hitting the mattress as our laughs echo throughout the room. Lana is right. This is what family does, and for the first time in my life, I finally understand what it feels like to be surrounded by one.

Unconditional love.

The best kind of love.

The most important thing right now is to learn who I am. No more rules, no more restrictions. It’s just me in the world, and as terrifying as it seems, I’m in the best place I can possibly be.

I contemplate stalking Oliver on social media. Being in the room he stayed in is making me want to connect with him more.

But no good will come of this.

“Me first,” I say out loud.

And I know somewhere out there, Oliver would be proud of me for putting myself first.