5. Cole

Chapter 5

Cole

I 'd made a horrible mistake with my decision to go back to work so quickly. Waking up at six-thirty in the morning was never easy, even when I could drink the exhaustion away. But after months of waking up when my body said it was time, not the alarm, was even harder.

Day one had been agonizing. Day two had been painful. Day three, today, was only slightly better but still had a nagging sting to it.

"What's on the docket for you today?" I asked, glancing across the center console of my dark green Rolls Royce.

Bobby shrugged. "Figured I'd check out what Boulder has to offer. Your house gets a bit lonely."

I knew that feeling far too well.

The reds of the cobblestone streets reflected the morning light back up toward the sky, the college students shielding their eyes from the harshness of Boulder in the early fall. The clubs and restaurants had long closed down from the night before, but there was a tickling in my spine that wanted me to pull up to one of them, bang on the door, and force my way in.

But I wasn't going to do that.

I pulled to a stop at a red light, my car idling quietly, and tried to focus anywhere but the bar I used to frequent located on my left. Bobby hit my leg gently, and I glanced at his hand, following his pointed finger beyond the hood of the car to a group of young, college-aged women crossing the road in front of us. They stared at the car, their mouths agape and grinning. One of them waved and another shouted something I couldn't hear.

"Looks like they're interested," Bobby chuckled.

Six months ago, I might have shut off my car and gotten out in the middle of the intersection to try to convince one of them to get in and go anywhere with me. But not today. Not anymore. The thought that I used to be that way made my stomach churn.

"They've got fucking backpacks, Bobby."

"Yeah, but they're clearly students here."

"Too young. Too naive."

The girls passed and the light turned green. I couldn't hit the gas fast enough for my liking.

A few minutes down the road I pulled into the parking lot of the cafe I used to frequent before I left. I hadn't yet built up the nerve to stop in over the last couple of days, and with Bobby by my side this time, it felt much more doable.

The door chimed as we walked in. There were a handful of people waiting around for their coffee while others sat with their laptops open, ready to spend the day immersed in their work from the comfort of the cafe. I wished I could do that instead of going into the office.

"Cole!"

The owner, Eric, stood behind the counter. His graying hair and wide-eyed smile were always so welcoming, but after six months of being gone, it felt almost like an uncertain homecoming. "Hey, Eric."

"Long black with an extra shot?"

I don't know why I was surprised that he still remembered, I'd done my fair share of working behind the counter. I knew regular orders. But six months was a long time to remember. "Yeah," I grinned.

"Can you tack a latte onto that?" Bobby asked.

"Sure can." Eric got to making the drinks quickly, knocking out the old coffee puck into the trash and starting the process over again. "Where've you been? Missed your face."

"Uh—"

"Working on himself," Bobby grinned. "Me too. That's where we met, actually. This great place out in Cali?—"

"He doesn't need to know the details," I snapped, the uncomfortableness of it creeping up the back of my skull. I didn't want that following me around, and Bobby's big fucking mouth was only going to make it worse.

Eric looked between Bobby and me, his brows knitted. He must've known, though. I couldn't count how many times I'd walked in here still drunk from the night before.

"What?" Bobby whispered.

"I don't want to tell everyone, okay? It just feels weird."

"All right," he sighed, eyeing me warily as if I was crazy. "My driver is about a minute away anyway."

"Driver?"

"Yeah, I'm going to head out to the golf club just outside of town. One of my friends sent in a recommendation for me, and they're going to let me in." He shrugged, taking the latte from Eric with a half-hearted thanks. "Maybe I'll check out what else Boulder has to offer to guys like us."

Guys like us. I knew he didn't mean drunks; Bobby was the kind of person who truly enjoyed having money to an annoying degree.

The door chimed as I paid for our coffees. We turned to leave but within a split second I wished I could just fucking teleport instead of having to step toward the door.

"No shit." Adam, a tall, dark-haired, wiry man I used to drink with at the bar down the road grinned at me, the yellowing of his teeth and eyes making my stomach turn. "Where the hell have you been?"

I had two options: I could push him away and tell him the truth, or I could pretend like nothing had happened and get out of there faster.

I chose option two.

"Out of state for work," I lied, painting the fakest smile across my cheeks. "Good to see you."

"You too, man." Adam's hand clapped against my shoulder, shaking me just a little too hard, a little too rough. "You should've called. We can make plans to meet, catch up."

My throat tightened as I looked at Bobby. He seemed none the wiser, his nose buried in the top of his takeout cup instead of having to smell the strong scent of booze emanating from Adam. "Yeah, sorry. I'll call you."

Adam studied me. I knew I didn't look like I used to. I was more put together now, less sloppy, less of a mess. "You on the straight and narrow now too?" he asked, his brows knitting as he gave me a whiff.

I swallowed. "I?—"

Adam snorted, his hand abandoning my shoulder. "Whatever, man. Good luck to you. It never lasts."

Before I could say a word he stepped around me and up to the counter, spouting his order to Eric the way I used to when I didn't give a shit. I booked it before he could ask me anything else.

Bobby followed behind me, waving absentmindedly at the black Porsche that pulled up alongside my car. "Don't worry about him," Bobby said, his gaze caught somewhere far off in the distance. "He's a shit. We'll get through this together."

I kind of wanted to get through it alone.

Bobby nodded at me as he stepped off toward the car he'd hired. I didn't know how I'd managed to get myself into this situation—my old friends looking down at me, my new friend someone I barely knew but seemed to be on this journey with me regardless. I didn't know how I even considered Adam a friend. It's not like we did things together outside of drinking, and I was fairly sure he and his group only liked me for my house, but still it stung, nonetheless.

————

Work helped to keep my mind sharp and to keep me distracted from giving in to the things I wanted, all right there in front of me. However, here, I could stare at the alcohol and not see it as a temptation, instead seeing it as nothing more than chemicals in the different stages of creation.

My start to the day still sat heavy in my mind, and as I made my way out of the main chamber of the brewery and toward the elevator back to my office, all I could think about was how much it made me sick to see Adam still drunk when I wasn't. He was definitely easier to be around when I was also inebriated.

The stack of papers in my hand did absolutely nothing to distract me from my thoughts. As I continued to think about Adam and my previous situation, something warm collided with me, nearly knocking me off my step. I wrapped my arm around it to keep my balance.

"Shit, sorry," a small voice mumbled.

I looked down, moving the papers out of my line of sight.

Shit, indeed.

Long brown hair, a tour guide uniform, freckles, and hazel eyes. That little beauty mark between her lower lip and her chin.

Dana.

My body froze. My hand around her waist, warm and soft against my skin, felt like an electric current. She looked as mortified as I felt, and as the seconds ticked by and things became even more awkward, I didn't know what to do or say. But something about holding her, the way her body curved against mine…

"Cole," she hissed.

My heart leaped in my chest as I released her without another word, snapping back to reality. She hurried off behind me but my legs were frozen in place, and it wasn't purely from the sticky floor that still hadn't been taken care of.

No, it was the little ache in my heart, the one that I'd felt when I'd sobered up after that horrible morning between us. The one I'd pushed down with drink after drink.

Fuck.